Posted by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) in Reaching Out When Instinct Says Not To

Posted by Commander Janusz Korczak (Counselor) in Reaching Out When Instinct Says Not To

Posted by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) in Reaching Out When Instinct Says Not To
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Korczak, unlike any other counselor or therapist Torres may have spoken with in the past, did not take notes. He simply listened. When Torres finished, he nodded in understanding. “Feeling isolated and alone can certainly trigger a desire to return to old, problematic, behaviours. That, coupled with grief, is a potent cocktail for a relapse.” Korczak then smiled at Torres. “And the fact that you recognized that and sought help is a wonderful step, Mr. Torres. Many, many individuals in your situation would not have been able to do that. So take some pride in yourself for that.” He lifted the pot and poured the two cups three quarters full. The smell of citrus and fruit filled the space with a wholly relaxing aroma. “Black currant and lemon. My family’s favorite.” he said and picked up a cup. He inhaled the aroma and smiled slightly before taking a sip. “The smell always make home seem a bit closer. So where is home for you, Mr. Torres? Do you have family?” he asked.

Korczak, Counselor

The smell naturally didn’t elicit the same reaction, but it wasn’t unpleasant at all. Raf sipped from the cup and took a moment to process the mostly nice taste. It also gave him time to gather his thoughts. “I come from Ajilon Prime. I suppose that is home because it’s where I’ve lived most of my life. And the only family I have that matters is my pops. He still lives there.”

Rafael Torres, Resident

“Do you speak to him often?” Korczak asked. “Is he a source of support… or conflict?” he asked and sipped his tea. Open and frank conversations were key to assisting those with dependency issues. As was getting a strong understanding of where they come from.

Korczak, Counselor

It was hard. Raf didn’t do great with strangers, but as he gazed at Korczak, he figured he might as well approach it similar to how he had with Karilan. “Pops has always stood by me, even when I didn’t think he would or even should. But… my last full relapse was hard on him. It’s not a great day when you get a call that your son is in the hospital after overdosing.” He swallowed down the guilt and shame. “He raised me himself and we’ve always been close. I had a… moment, not a full relapse but one slip, and I realized after how much I was hurting him. I had to get back on my feet properly and not rely on him so much. So I’ve been trying to do just that. I call him now and again and I let him know where I am and how I’m doing, but I’ve only been on Oed week. He knew I was off-world looking for work and I was going to call him after I got settled in at my new job but then…” Raf gritted his jaw, breathing through the emotions. “Then my friend died, and I haven’t been in a good head space to make the call.”

Rafael Torres, Resident

Korczak nodded again in understanding, but then said “Mr. Torres… one of the best things about most parents is that it doesn’t really matter where our head space is at… they still have room for us. And sometimes it’s a good idea to reach out when we aren’t in the right frame of mind. It sounds like you and your father are close, no matter your own past. If you would like, you can call him now and I will sit with you while you talk. It may help you feel less… isolated.” Korczak knew that deep attachments like those Torres shared with his father were a foundational support that addicts needed to utilize or try and establish in order to have the kind of ‘safety net’ they would need if they started to fall. That was, after all, the entire premise behind the age-old and highly effective ‘Sponsor’ programs.

Korczak, Counselor

His hand tightened against the tea cup and Raf dug the fingers of his other hand into his palm. All he could think of was that heartbroken expression in his father’s eyes, knowing that he had let him down yet again. But this was different, wasn’t it? “It’s been six months,” he said quietly. “I don’t even know if he’s at home. Hell, I don’t even know what time it is on Ajilon.”

Rafael Torres, Resident

“Well… let us find out, shall we?” Korczak said. =/\= Computer, what is the local time on Ajilon Prime? =/\= The computer chirped and said =/\= Ajilon Prime local time is 0710. =/\= Korczak looked at Torres and said “If he is an early riser, he is probably up. If not, a call from his son would be a good way to start the day.”

Korczak, Counselor

His knee bounced up and down and Raf braced his arms on his thighs, bowing his head. Hands clenched, he tried to quell the myriad of feelings that all threatened to consume him. Shame was the biggest one. It was the thing the dogged him constantly and there were plenty of reasons for it to be there.

Rafael Torres, Resident

Korczak watched the emotions war inside the man, and he remained silent for a long time. Finally he said “Mr. Torres, it is a suggestion… not a mandate. But I will say that the longer one waits to open a dialogue, the harder it becomes to start it at all.”

Korczak, Counselor

“It’s already hard!” he said, briefly looking up before the realization he snapped at that man set in. Raf leapt to his feet and paced, the energy in his body almost painful.

“I make him sad. I’m so tired of making him sad. This isn’t even about my time in prison. It’s everything after, everything still more recent. I break his heart even if he tries to make sure I don’t see it. I wanted to do something with my life that would make him smile for once.” Raf’s shoulders sank as he paced and his feelings felt very much like despair.

Rafael Torres, Resident

Korczak didn’t flinch at the outburst, it had been obvious it was coming after all. He watched the man pace back and forth, and listened as he spoke. “Okay. So… why don’t you start there? Tell him that. I’m certain any parent who cares for their child would appreciate hearing that.”

Korczak, Counselor

Raf drew in a shaky breath and blew it out. The truth was that he did miss his father and it would be good to see his face, hear his voice. “Okay,” Raf said. “We can call him.”

Rafael Torres, Resident

Korczak nodded and said “Very well. No time like the present, is there?” with a faint smile. =/\= Computer, connect me to Ajilon Prime, current patient’s parent of record, please. =/\= There was a pause of several long seconds before the chirp indicating the call had connected. Before the elder Torres could say anything, Korczak said =/\= Mr. Torres, my name is Dr. Janusz Korczak. I am a Counselor with Star Fleet here on Oed V, and i am here with your son. He is fine, there is no need to worry. In fact… I am quite impressed with him so far. But he wanted to talk to you, sir. =/\= Korczak looked at Torres and then leaned back… just listening.

Korczak, Counselor

For a moment Rafael couldn’t move.

Damian Leandro Torres ran a hand over his salt-and-pepper hair, worry deepening the lines on his brown face. “Raf?”

Shifting so he was in frame, Raf wrung his hands, forcing himself to gaze into his father’s eyes. “Hi Pops,” he said softly.

“Talk to me,” Leandro pleaded, leaning forward towards the screen. “I’ve been worried about you. Especially after… after we heard about Dashiel.”

Raf dropped his head, his hands unfurling to catch it as he fought back a sob.

“Oh my boy, what a terrible thing to have happened to your friend. But how are you? Are you doing okay there? I…”

Raf knew his father was going to make a comment about not having heard from him, but was grateful he didn’t complete the sentence. He looked up, eyes glistening. “It was getting better. Dash helped connect me with a person who gave me a job and I get to do some engineering work and study on the side.” He almost broke into a small smile. “But everything feels like it will slip through my fingers yet again. I’m trying so hard to not make the same mistakes, but I don’t know that I can do this.”

Rafael Torres, Resident

Bump