Posted by Civilian Caitlyn Dillon (Director, The House Sanctuary) in Hyrushi Residence - Immigration of New Possibilities

Posted by Civilian Kenzo B’tren-Hyrushi (Governor) in Hyrushi Residence - Immigration of New Possibilities

Posted by Civilian Caitlyn Dillon (Director, The House Sanctuary) in Hyrushi Residence - Immigration of New Possibilities
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Thank you. I do not believe I have ever received a better compliment.” He didn’t move, didn’t budge lest he move and break the contact she held on his chest. He set his hand on hers and looked at her for a very long time. “Nor have I spent the evening with a more intriguing or wonderful companion.”

Kenzo

Her fingers flexed under his, curling slightly into his shirt. “I’m truly flattered you feel so.” She did, she was sure he could have his choice of companions, but he had wanted to spend it with her. In fact he wanted to spend much more time with her. Suddenly the enormity of the step she was taking hit her, and what the future might hold. She felt something akin to the beginnings of a panic attack. She didn’t run. Instead she simply accepted it and let it wash over her. It was a big deal, and it was unknown and nerve wracking, but Caitlyn had a quiet stubborn streak.

Kenzo felt the surge of panic, and then he felt the acceptance and the absolute resolve in her to not let it defeat her. That resolve and her sheer willpower caused his breath to catch. He stared at her in silence, wondering how it was possible to be so drawn to someone so quickly.

She didn’t move, she stayed still, her hand over his chest until it passed. She was nervous, but she knew how disappointed she would be if she gave in. Whatever risks and failures might happen, she thought they were worth the possibilities of what might be between them. That left her exhilarated.

Caitlyn

“You… are a most incredible woman, Caitlyn.” He said softly. He set his hand on the one she had on his chest and he forced himself to breathe steadily… even as she could feel his heart pound in his chest.

Kenzo

She could feel his heart beating against her palm and the sparks that tingled up her arm where he held her hand. “Not really, we all just do the best we can with the life we are given.” It wasn’t a fish for compliments, and his words touched her deeply, but her response was genuine humbleness. Everyone was ordinary and exceptional in their own ways.

The room was quiet for a long moment. “I hope you’ll forgive me, but I am going to do something outrageous. I’ll probably faint from my own boldness.” Her voice was incredibly quiet, but tinged with teasing. She reached for his other hand and guided it to rest gently on her own chest, right over her heart. He could feel the rhythm of it against his palm. “My heart’s pounding like yours. To be drawn so quickly to you is… well it’s scary and wonderful all at once.”

Caitlyn

As she sat his hand on her chest his sharp intake of breath was audible; and the beating of his heart sped up. He took several deep breaths and then said “Caitlyn, I…” and for one of the few times in his life he couldn’t think of the words to say. All he could do was allow her to feel what he was at that moment: attraction, confusion, hesitation, desire, admiration, and a rapidly growing affection swelled within him; and she was at the center of it all. And that fact brought him a great deal of happiness.

Kenzo

Whatever did or did not come after, Caitlyn would always remember the gift of him sharing his emotions with her. It was a stark and beautiful honesty that meant more to her than she could express or really even fathom the depth of to herself. It was humbling and thrilling to know that this wonderful man felt the same things as she did.

Her own budding affection, attraction, hesitation, respect, confusion, caution, and the slow quiet beginnings of desire responded to his. She was also uncertain. Her reaction to him was so swift, so strong that she was willingly falling head first into it, but there was a great deal of instinctual caution and fear of how her memories might surface and ruin it.

She didn’t move not wanting to break that precious connection nor knowing what to do next.

Caitlyn

They sat like that in silence for minutes; their mutual emotions swirling between them as they simply shared themselves with one another in a way that neither had experienced with another. Hands on hearts, connected in an intimacy both were hesitant and scared to share with anyone. Kenzo didn’t want to move, and he said so with both his feelings and, finally, his words.

“Caitlyn…” he whispered, and there was a surge of longing, regret, and even sadness that she could feel below the other emotions that were steadily growing stronger. Pressing ever so slightly against her hand as if to imprint her touch on him, he said “Of all the things that I could do at this moment, please understand that this is absolutely the last thing I want to do. But I made you a promise, and no matter what I will keep my word to you.” His fingers closed around her hand on his chest and he held her hand as he shifted away from her touch, while ever so slowly taking his hand from her chest and taking her other hand in his own. “I… I cannot describe what your touch- and touching you- means to me. It has been some time since I felt anything similar to this. But nothing as significant as this moment. But please know that Ibwill always prioritize you feeling safe over anything else. This place will always be a safe space for you. As will I. I give you my word, Caitlyn.”

Kenzo

The withdrawal hurt and the reasons for his promise cut like a knife. Even as his promise began to heal something inside her. She squeezed his hands gently, memorizing the feel of them as if she’d never experience it again. She understood, intellectually, that the shame and stabbing pain she felt at his withdrawal was unfounded. That it was a reaction of years of suppression and fear and the sudden intense positive experience. Her mind and body not quite ready to accept something good after all the trauma. She knew it took time, but that didn’t lessen the self-directed shame and guilt and pain. “Neither have I ever had such a significant and deep experience. I should apologize, Kenzo, for being so forward, but it would be insincere.” Really she was sorry for being broken. That too she knew was irrational and unfounded. “It is a moment I will cherish always.”

Caitlyn

Keno’s head tilted slightly to the side and he gazed at her for a moment. He took her hands and spoke softly but emphatically. “Caitlyn, you are not broken.” he said as if he had read the very thought from her mind. “You were hurt by someone. That takes time to heal and recover from. That is natural and necessary. And this-” and he let go of her hand and again set his hand on her chest and her other hand on his, “- this is not a fleeting thing. It is not a singular event. This can and will happen again… at any time you want. If that is now, tomorrow, or a year from now. Or even all three. I do not allow myself the privilege of getting so close to people. The fact that this has happened as it has proves to me that this is something… extraordinary. And I do not intend to let it fade away. But I am not going to rush you. We will go as slow or fast as you wish.” He pressed her hand against him as he pressed slightly against her. “You are in control of this, Caitlyn.” he said a flood of sincerity and trust flowed into her from him. “You have your power in what is happening here. I am simply here for you, in whatever capacity that may be or become.” and he very slowly removed their hands, but kept a tendril of connection between them.

Kenzo