Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Iven’s Office- Trauma Doesn’t Keep to a Schedule

Posted by Lieutenant Séan Iven (Counselor) in Iven’s Office- Trauma Doesn’t Keep to a Schedule

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Iven’s Office- Trauma Doesn’t Keep to a Schedule
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

||Yes and no. I had about three hours before events dragged me out of bed this morning and I accepted a light sedative and slept a little before we began my… treatment. But nothing since then. However,|| she looked off to her side at Karilan and smirked before looking back at Iven. ||I’ve been given strict instructions to rest after we’re done.||

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan grinned at that. “Good. If someone else hadn’t given you that directive I would have. Now I know that the trauma is fresh and recalling it will hurt, especially after the separation of your feelings, but I’d like you to walk me through what you can. If it gets to be too much I want you to stop. This is about getting you to start processing everything not torture you.”

Counselor Iven

Eela nodded and drew in a slow breath, steadying herself. “So, Dash came over last night for a date we had preplanned and it was”-a brief smile touched her face-“lovely. He let himself out around 0200 and I fell asleep right away. I was woken up by my comm at 0500 and it was Ambassador Mathis’ spouse, Ren, whom I’ve met a few times already. They explained that Jeanette was not doing well and they had waited awhile before trying to get a hold of Dash, but they couldn’t reach him. They very tactfully asked if I knew where he might be and told them he had been here and that he left because he had a breakfast meeting with the Ambassador. And we all agreed it was unusual for him to not answer his comm, so I in my capacity as Commander-In-Chief, arranged a wellness check because the Ambassador’s security is Starfleet, as is for the building he lives in. So… Mathis went and awhile later Ren called me to tell me that… he was dead and the police were investigating.” She managed to spit this out very evenly. The facts were somehow easier and, well, she was getting rather practiced at telling the story now.

Séan nodded as Eela recounted events in a well practiced manner.

“I left my place and long story short, a friend”-she glanced briefly at Karilan with deep admiration and appreciation-“was concerned enough about my behaviour that they called another friend of mine and I was taken here.” She gestured with her hand. “I stopped at the office briefly to share the news with mine and the Governor’s assistant because they should hear it from me and not someone else, and then I came back here. But it was obvious I think to everyone, and even to me, that I was not myself.” Her eyes misted. “I couldn’t feel anything. And it was more than just shock. I couldn’t sense anything. It was easy to just focus on tasks and what was next, but when I couldn’t do that, I was… a stranger, even to myself. My daughter was called over and she guessed that I was experiencing this rare Haliian syndrome. She called my physician, who also came over. It…” Gods, was she actually embarrassed to talk about this? No, it was just intensely private and now it was… she didn’t even know how to think about it. “I told them I had telepathically connected with Dash using a special Haliian device called a canar. It allows us to share our minds, but for him too he could experience what I experience as a touch telepath. It’s quite an intense experience. And so, when I told them this, I guess it made my presentation of the illness make sense. We treated the issue by basically breaking through that wall between my mind and body and we had to use the canar to do it. I was under the influence of a medication that would relax me enough to not fight the process and… it worked.” Eela squeezed her eyes tight for a moment. “I can feel every strike against his body, Séan. I don’t know what exactly happened, just what his body experienced. And he…”Tears slipped down her face. “He couldn’t breath! That’s how he died. He couldn’t get air. I don’t want to feel this, and yet I don’t want to lose that connection with him either. It would have dissipated naturally after a few more hours, but I think it’s the only way I can wrap my mind around the fact that he’s gone, because I can’t ignore it.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan listened attentively, the depth of Eela’s emotions evident in her words. He maintained a supportive and understanding demeanor, recognizing the weight of the experience she was sharing. When she mentioned the connection with Dash and the intensity of their shared sensations, Séan’s expression conveyed empathy.

“I can’t imagine the emotional toll this has taken on you,” he said gently. “The unique connection you had with Dash, while undoubtedly powerful, must make it incredibly challenging to navigate his loss. It’s clear that you’re grappling with complex emotions, trying to reconcile the desire to feel that connection and the pain it brings. Grieving is a unique journey for each individual, and it’s alright to feel a range of emotions, even conflicting ones.”

He paused, choosing his words carefully. “If you ever find the need to explore these feelings further or just have someone to talk to, I’m here. Sometimes, having a space to share your thoughts and emotions can be a valuable part of the healing process. And remember, there’s no ‘right’ way to grieve. It’s a personal journey, and you’re not alone in it.”

Counselor Iven

Eela nodded slowly. “I know without a doubt I’m not alone. People came this morning because I was in need to help and I am very grateful to them.” She paused, gathering her words, not because she wanted to be careful with them, but because her mind needed to sort through the jumble that had surfaced. “We’ll definitely be talking more, because there is only so much I can process right now. And I think that’s the harder part. Unlike the recent event with my ex-husband, this is not just personal. It’s professional too. The lines are blurred so badly, despite the fact that Dash and I had kept things at work very professional. But his death has massive ramifications for Oed, for our dealings with our Vren guests, for our Federation Ambassador and the Embassy they were still in the process of staffing. All of this I can’t ignore. Oed needs it’s Lieutenant Governor and I’m used to compartmentalizing in order to make sure things happen and more people don’t get hurt, but… all I want to do is curl up in bed and not surface for a week,” she said with a bitter laugh. It was not possible for her now. Ever. Not in a situation like this. Vacation, yes, but that was not the situation before her.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Séan nodded in understanding. “It’s a tremendous burden, especially when personal and professional aspects intertwine in such a complex way. Grieving while navigating the responsibilities of your role adds an extra layer of challenge. It’s completely valid to feel the need to retreat, but as you said, the demands of your position don’t afford you that luxury at the moment.”

He leaned forward slightly, expressing empathy. “It’s crucial to acknowledge your own needs in this process. If there’s a way to delegate certain responsibilities temporarily or if there are support systems within your staff that can share the load, it might help ease the immediate pressure. Grieving isn’t a linear process, and it’s okay to adjust your approach as needed. Self-compassion is key, and finding that balance between your personal well-being and professional responsibilities is a delicate but necessary pursuit.”

Counselor Iven

She nodded, taking deep breaths that Eela hoped would steady her through this conversation. “My staff are well used to deflecting work when it is required. At least we had a trial run of that when my ex showed up. As it is, my meetings for the next 48 hours have been cancelled. I know the Governor will take on what I cannot right now, but the reality is that I get today, maybe a bit of tomorrow, but then I have to be back out there. Ambassador Mathis needs assistance and I’ve been working closely with her. We have a rapport, and now a common grief. Dash was… family to her and her family. They need support too.”

Eela gazed past Karilan to look out the windows that provided such a lovely view of Kenzo’s gardens. “I can’t change what’s happened. All I can do is work through it from here. But there are things I’ve realized that have much deeper implications for other events in my life.” She looked back at Séan. “I suppose it’s just more of the same unravelling of truths I’ve been doing since my ex blew through here and upended my life.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Bump