Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted by Civilian Karilan Massat (Owner, Quill and Parchment Books) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances

Posted by Civilian Rafael Torres (Resident) in The Quill & Parchment- Second Chances
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Raf dug into his meal and considered Karilan’s words. It was all true, he should be elated, but maybe that was the problem. He ate a couple bites and took another sip of his agua fresca before gazing at Karilan intently. “I think the challenge for me is to decipher the difference between the kind of joy you’re talking about and the superficial and temporary elation my body remembers when I was high. I don’t know that they feel all that different, so it’s hard to trust that feeling. It feels dangerous. I guess it’s just going to take some time. Maybe after I’ve been here a little while and it doesn’t feel like the world is going to drop out from underneath me, I can relax and enjoy stuff. But I think if I trust to rush this process, I’ll set myself up for failure.”

~Rafael Torres

Karilan paused and set her fork down. She interlaced her fingers and set her hands on the table. “You are wrong because of one very important factor. The joy of being high is fleeting. And the more you use, the shorter the feeling lasts. You know this is true. The joy I am referring to lasts… well… as long as you want it to. When you simply accept what is, not what ‘could be’ or ‘should have been’… then your joy at simply being becomes permanent. It doesn’t require fuel like a fire… or drugs for a high. It, like you, simply is. That, Mr. Torres, is when you will be happy. And when you allow yourself that acceptance, the feeat you have of the world falling out from under you will simply fade away. One day, you will just realize that it is no longer there. And on that day, Mr. Torres… you will actually be free.”

Karilan

Every part of him was wary of the sentiment, but he realized that those parts were the ones that didn’t know better, didn’t trust. The thing was, he wanted to trust Karilan. And perhaps that was everything right now. It was a small desire to let something good happen and be true. And hadn’t it already? He looked around the restaurant and then back at Massat, and smiled. “I hope you’re right. In fact, you probably are, and I’ve trusted you this far. I don’t see why I can’t with rest.”

~Rafael Torres

“Good.” She said with a tone of finality. “Now eat. And then order something to take home for breakfast. Tomorrow, when you get to the shop, I want yiu to look at the climate control system on the first floor. The foyer is getting warm during the mid-afternoon and evening. I want you to fix it.” She picked up her fork and then proceeded to eat.

Karilan

“Okay,” he said. Raf dug back into his food with a bit of gusto as he pondered over the possible problem. He wouldn’t know until he looked at the system but there were a few places he’d start first. Often it was a small part or connection that wasn’t operating as it should. Easy to miss but usually easy to fix.

In the whirlwind that was the two days he’d been on Oed, Raf was still trying to wrap his mind around everything, including what Karilan had been telling him. He wished he could just flip a switch and allow himself to believe that everything would be okay and that he was allowed to have a life that was enjoyable. He couldn’t. Not just yet. But he wanted to and that was the biggest change in his life recently. Maybe at some point in the future he could invite his pops here and show him around with pride. If it wasn’t too late.

He ate the rest of his dinner with gratitude and calmness, letting the broody thoughts dissipate. At the end he did indeed ordered some breakfast that would be easy to reheat. While he waited for it to be ready to take with them, he offered Karilan a tiny smile. “Thank you for dinner. Best meal I’ve had in awhile, though if I can rustle up some ingredients I’ll have to make you some of my tía abuela’s enchiladas. My pops always said his mother couldn’t cook so he got his aunt to teach him. It’s one of the few dishes I can remember how to make.”

~Rafael Torres

“Go to the Farmer’s Market. They have everything. And if they don’t someone there can find it for you.”Karilan said and then something occurred to her. “Oh. One thing. The Plaza Exchange. I would caution you about going there alone. Not that you would be in physical danger… but there is where you might find ‘temptation’ to be a bit more insistent than elsewhere.” The server brought the food and Karilan paid. She then looked at Torres and said “I am going to head home. Would you like a ride back to your apartment?”

Karilan Massat

Raf shook his head. “Nah, I think I’ll walk and get to know the place a bit more. But thanks for the offer. And I’ll head your warning about the Plaza Exchange.” The inherent risk there sounded like it was definitely his sort of place and if he’d learned anything in the last couple fo years, it was that his inclinations were not to be trusted. Not yet anyway.

Shifting out of the booth, Torres walked Karilan out. “I guess I will see you at work tomorrow. Have a good night, Karilan,” he said softly.

~Rafael Torres