Eela: |We need to talk. You free today?|
Roger: |I can be. Just name when and I’ll make myself available.*|

In her apartment, Eela waited for Roger to call after setting the time. She had been in the office really early (0600) with the intention of working from home this afternoon so she could tackle a few things and wait for a delivery.

Grabbing a cup of mint and susha tea, Eela settled in on the sofa in the family lounge and propped up the PADD so she could talk with him and not have to hold the device. She sipped until the chirp of a subspace call came through.

“Hey you,” she said, her smile relaxed and warm.
Roger grinned. “Koonita. Are we living up to our name today?”
She laughed. “I don’t even have to try some days.”
“Darling, that was always true.“

Eela threw her head back and laughed, then gave him a wide grin. It lasted a few moments before it faded and was replaced by something more trepidatious. They gazed at each other, knowing full well what the conversation was going to be about. And yet Roger waited till she was ready.

“Our talk is actually homework from my therapist,” she said finally.

Roger nodded. “Good. I’m glad you’re going there with her. I can start wherever you want but I need you to ask the questions and I will do my best to answer them in the way I know how.”

Eela nodded and inhaled, filling her lungs, holding it and then blowing the breath out. “So we’ve been talking about the ways in which there might have been emotional manipulation on his part that I wasn’t aware of or chose not to see. I think I was protecting myself. I could think of a couple good examples before my accident. Like the arguments we had when Jourin chose to stay with me when we went to the Gamma Quadrant, or all that stuff after he was born.”

He nodded and leaned in a little, his eyes holding sadness. ”El… I…” Roger sighed. “First off, I don’t know if I should have said something earlier or not, but I never felt like it was my place to intrude, nor did I think you were in a position to hear what I was saying. If I was wrong on that front, I’m deeply sorry.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay, Rog. I think you’re right.” Eela drew in a shuddered breath. “I can look on my psychology training and see the signs now, if not clearly than with more clarity and honesty than I was capable of before.

“The simple fact is that it’s very likely that Cory is a mid-grade narcissist. There were just enough good days to confuse me but enough bad days to cause pain. And I brushed it off because we were so young when we met and I didn’t know any better. I couldn’t see it because I could convince myself that all couples have rough times. His form of narcissism isn’t your classic charming and suave manipulator. His is much more covert and neglectful. And our work lives and our arrangement played beautifully into his ability to hide from me. You can lie to an empath when you’re not in the room with them. But I’m getting confused and doubting my own recollections. I’m gaslighting myself all over again, because I don’t know how to trust the truth or see what it even is. So, what did you notice, and when?”

It pained him so much that Eela was going through all of this but at the same time Roger knew it was a long time coming. “Do you remember when Ano first suggested you do Command training?” She nodded. “Well, that was the first time I really was a bit confused. Because you dismissed it and it wasn’t until I brought it up at dinner that one night and Cory got all weird about it that I started to pay a bit closer attention. You’re right that his disapproval was always a lot more subtle, and over the years I slowly started to get it. I understood that anything that raised your profile on your assignments threatened him. Even though he wasn’t an ambitious person himself, he couldn’t stand you growing and getting better, doing more. I think, and this is only my guess, that he was worried about being left behind, that you’d grow too far past him and he couldn’t allow that. He always needed you to need him. Which is frankly hilarious given he married a woman who was never inclined towards monogamy and was adamant about choosing to have people in her life. It amazed me he ever agreed to the arrangement in the first place.”

Eela frowned and set her tea cup down. “You think he was jealous? Of more than just that night with you, of course.” That pain point had been revealed ever so clearly in her apartment.

He took a moment to steady himself and make sure he was both being honest with his best friend but also treading gently. This was going to hurt no matter what, but that didn’t mean he had to twist the knife. “I think it’s like you said, El: it was an extraordinary performance. You spent half your marriage apart from each other. It meant that while apart you had to rely on facial expressions, tone and body language. And that’s ignoring written messages, because those were your downfall. They revealed more than I think you wanted to see. But El, my friend, I want you to think about how much he would have had to bury himself in order to hide that much from a touch telepath, let alone an empath. How much deception does a person have to engage in in order to fool you on that deep of a level?”

The shock showed on her face before it hit her mind, resulting in a tiny gasp. Tears erupted and poured down her cheeks.

[To be continued…]