Oed V
Tenkiller's House- Tipping Points
Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points
Posted by Lieutenant Commander Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points
Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Tenkiller’s House- Tipping Points
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻(snip)
Yavia and Sharah sat beside her and Jal’na sat on the ottoman in front of her. Jal’na sang softly, the words didn’t matter, it was soft and and soothing. Yavia recognized it, not the words, but the melody. Jal’na sang it to the children in the NICU when she volunteered.
Sharah understood that Eela was trying to fall back on her training because it was familiar. She also refrained from commenting and invading that privacy. Eela needed to realize what she would tell a patient - she was too emotionally close to it. Just like a doctor would not operate on themselves or a bodyguard provide their own protection when a target. (Okay so they would try, but they shouldn’t). The women did not say anything, they simply let her cry, release the emotional turmoil. Like a wound sometimes needed to bleed to get the poison out.
Yavia
After a time, Eela became still, exhaustion weighing on every cell of her body. She sat up slowly, her back objecting to being in the one position for awhile, but she brushed that sensation away. Eela then took the biggest breath she had taken since Haskins had called her about a visitor. Breathing out with an intentional sigh, she rubbed her hands back and forth. She replayed her conversation with him and shook her head. “I threw the vase.” While it could have been a natural conclusion Jal’na and security came to, they hadn’t seen what had happened. It was all after the fact.
Jal’na gave a short nod, “Your aim was short. We will work on that in therapy also,” and she grinned wickedly. It was a strangely comforting sight.
“When I was still in the hospital after my coma, I would get these waves of rage I didn’t understand. In therapy I knew it was partly grief, but the brain scans also told us the rest of the story. And I spent so much time learning to regulate my emotions that somewhere along the way I stopped factoring them into the equation. They stopped mattering, because they were a nuisance most of the time. Inconvenient for him, for me, for those around me. I don’t even really remember grabbing the vase, but he wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t leave. I was the one who had to reconsider her position. I was the one who was wrong for wanting to cut him out of my life fully. I wasn’t considering how it would impact everyone else. Because how dare I have needs of my own.”
Yavia rubbed a hand down Eela’s back and the discomfort in her back was gone, and would be at least for a little while. “Rage is just an emotion. It is how we act that matters. Rage then and now are perfectly acceptable feelings for what was going on.”
“I did throw a breakable object,” Eela said dryly. That was an action and she had never bene prone to violence. It wasn’t her.
“You were defending yourself. No different than if you had a phaser set to stun.”
Sharah nodded, “Yavia is right. Then, your brain might have needed some reminding on how to react and process those emotions. Tonight, I think they did you a disservice telling you feeling rage was bad. In the end it saved you. It made him pause and that was all the time needed for your guards to arrive.”
She looked at Sharah. “Those thoughts I wrote down that day? All but one were from him. And I mentally let him off the hook time and time again because it was a hard situation for everyone. But little by little I retreated. I pulled back from my life, wanting to be anywhere in the galaxy where it wasn’t my reality.” She wiped away another tear that slipped over her cheek. “I cut myself off from the things I needed because it was inconvenient for him” Deep down Eela knew there was more anger there still, but she didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Not yet. “And now this? Was it inevitable? Was I just lucky to have escaped early and be in a place where I have armed guards who can respond in a moment’s notice?” She knew it could have been a lot worse. Eela also knew that Cory hadn’t reacted out of anger and a desire to harm her. But he still caused harm. He had been for a long time and no one had batted an eye. Because they didn’t know? Because they couldn’t see it, the least of all herself? What did any of that mean anyway?
~Eela
“I don’t know that it was inevitable, but I do know it was HIS choice. He chose to make himself the victim of your injury, your catastrophe. He chose to try and force you into a mold you could not fit anymore, instead of growing with you. He chose not to support you. He issued an ultimatum thinking to control you. When it backfired and you were finally free of him…he couldnhave moved on. It was his doing that started it. But he craves control. He thought divorce would punish you and give him the win. That you would be so miserable you would go back, so the cycle could continue. He got tired of waiting and so he came to up the timeliness he had in his head.”
Sharah shrugged a little. “He may not be aware that is what he was doing. He has convinced himself of his reality, he is the hero, but he is NOT. There is no excuse for his behavior. Reasons perhaps but no excuse.”
Eela nodded slowly. What she said made sense and deep down the truth of it was clicking into place. It had been a missing piece of the puzzle she had been trying to sort out lately. It had felt very much like she had had a pile of blank pieces dumped in her lap and had been told to form a picture. It was maddening until each piece slowly began to reveal its image. One by one it was coming together. Today though it was like a dozen of those pieces appeared in full colour all at once. It was a bit much to take, but she had time to sort it out.
Yavia stood and poured tea and handed a cup to Eela and then everyone else before sitting back down.
Sharah
Her hands slipped around the tea and Eela drank the soothing concoction. “Thank you,” she said quietly.
Yavia nodded. “Do you want food? I can make something, and I am sure after the adrenaline drop your body will appreciate it.” Sharah and Jal’na both grinned. One day Yavia was going to take Shrine’s place as the mother hen.
“Was that Charles I heard? If so, I really should speak with him,” Eela said. First names. This was not a time for formalities and ranks. She was not here as Lieutenant Governor Dasca. She might not be able to avoid all the tiny things that might come up while she secured herself away from the world for a little while, but right now her concerns were personal, not professional, even if they were ultimately related.
~Eela
Sharah was totally aware of Charles’ conversation with the governor and his dangerous amusement over a video the governor ordered. And of his orders to the guards. “It was. He has already been in touch with Gov Hyrushi and has security taken care of.” She patted Eela’s hand and then stood. “He likes to go by Skip.” That made Sharah amused and proud. She had looked into his personnel file like he’d dared her to. “I’ll go get him.”
Jal’na fussed iver her while Sharah was gone. Stuffing pillows and such to relieve the back stiffness and pain that was there, but Yavai’s talents had blocked for now.
Sharah stepped out into the main living area and found him now, by feel, outside the door. She opened it, “Eela would like to talk to you.”
Sharah