Posted by Lieutenant Tandra Mika (Counselor) in Starfleet Complex- Rewriting Narratives

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Starfleet Complex- Rewriting Narratives

Posted by Lieutenant Tandra Mika (Counselor) in Starfleet Complex- Rewriting Narratives
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Entering, Eela was ever the poised woman she usually appeared to be in public. The long black wavy hair was twisted and pinned at the back of her head and the her hazel eyes took in all the details of the room, missing little. She didn’t expect Mika to be fully settled in and everyone managed those tasks differently, but she noted there really wasn’t an area to sit besides the desk, and that would make for an interesting dynamic. However, she was more interested in the way Tandra Mika approached her, which she knew and assumed about the woman who today was her client, her patient.

Many Humans valued that moment of connection a handshake offered, and Hallians too valued touch. But of course for Dasca it was different. As she reached out, Eela reinforced her mental shields to protect herself from Mika’s mind, since this was not the intent behind the Lieutenant’s gesture. She didn’t mind (and Eela was well used to shielding herself), but it did mean the touch telepath was now withdrawn behind a wall she’d have to pull herself out from in order to be present in this session.

As she took Mika’s hand, Eela bowed her head. “Please, I think given the nature of this session, it’s best we not stand on formalities. Call me Eela here.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Mika gestured to one of the simple chairs on the opposite side of the desk. “Eela, then. Please, sit.” She moved around her desk herself and sat in the other one. Then she smiled a little, “I’m sorry. I know it’s not much to look at yet. My last posting was as a CMO. I didn’t need nice chairs for that.” If she had known Eela was a touch telepath, she would not have offered a hand. But her knowledge of Hallians was… Admittedly lacking.

Eela smiled. “It’s understandable. It also takes time to settle in. You can request any other furniture you like though. Just talk to the Quartermaster,” she said, taking occupancy of one of the chairs and angling it more to face Mika.

She smiled again, more confidently, and gave Eela a more serious, though friendly, look. “What brings you to my office today?”

~ Lt Mika, CNS

Such a simple question with such a complicated answer. Pressing her hands together, Eela slid her fingers back and forth, trying to figure out if there was a simpler way to explain it. There was not, and so she sighed, bringing her hands to rest in her lap. “A friend suggested I talk with you after we had a recent conversation about some observations I’ve been making about myself. It’s long and complicated and I’ll do my best to make it clear, but after I was forced to retire from Starfleet my whole life had changed. I did counselling previously in the aftermath of my injuries and medical discharge trying to get myself into a functional place. And I did see someone here and there as things got more… difficult at home. My husband and I attempted marriage counselling at one point but it was a disaster.

“After forty years together, Cory and I are now divorced. I just got the decree the other week. And I think it’s partly the decree, and partly the ninety light years now between us, but being on Oed on my own is making me… reflective. I’m finally able to look back at the last several years with a bit more open perspective and…” Eela had to pause to catch her breath, to steady herself. “I am uncomfortable with some of the realizations that are surfacing. About myself. About Cory. I don’t think I was ready to face them earlier when I was still recovering. But now? I guess enough time has passed and I have my own life here now. Maybe it’s time.”

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Mika leaned forward as she listened. It was a lot of information all at once, and Mika got the feeling Eela may have been holding onto this by herself for a while. It was a good thing she had taken her friend’s advice and come in. Eela was talking about some major life changes. It would be reasonable for anybody to need someone impartial to talk to about it, or someone to offer a little guidance.

There were a couple things that caught Mika’s attention. She knew which one to start with. “What were some of these revelations? Why do they upset you?”

~ Lt Mika, CNS

Eela took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I’m a psychologist and trained therapist, and as a Haliian I’m an empath and touch telepath, so I’ve always been very self-aware and adept at separating my own thoughts and feelings from those of others. And being a starship captain I had a lot of confidence in my abilities. I was very good at it.” She paused and carefully blew the breath out through her lips. “But… ever since my accident, the brain injury had me learning emotional self-control all over again. I lost the ability to so easily decipher the things I picked up from others.” She held her hands tightly in her lap and a frown increasingly formed as she spoke. “Cory and I argued… a lot. I had a lot of difficulty containing my anger and it would explode in very unhelpful ways he didn’t have the ability to handle well. And we knew each other so well that we knew exactly how to say the right words to cut deeply. I was not innocent in any of this for sure, but… I realized in talking with my friend that there are thoughts in my head that seem unlike myself. Not mine. And it wasn’t until I sat down with her and she made me write them all out that I realized that not all of them, but most of them were things Cory had said to me during our arguments. Or maybe they were pithy throw away comments that stuck with me. I’ve internalized them. They’ve become the framework for who I see myself now. And they are not kind. And it bothers me because it paints the last years of our marriage in a different and even more negative light.” The words sat on her tongue but she couldn’t bring herself to say them.

~Eela Dasca. Lt. Gov.