Posted by Lieutenant Sharah Fayth (Chief Star Fleet Medical Officer) in Expanding the Offerings

Posted by Captain Eela Dasca (Lt. Governor) in Expanding the Offerings

(snip)

Eela grinned. “Oh that I have no doubt. But look at this way. Something like this doesn’t have to have a romantic connotation. It can simply be a friendly lunch and if you don’t get along, oh well, right?” It had been awhile since she had dated at all but that had been self imposed after her accident. It had been too much to figure out the relationships she already had, let alone try to bring anyone into the aftermath of her injuries and retirement. She had thought at the time that it was a kindness to both her and Cory, but it felt like yet one more thing she had compromised even if it had been fulfilling their agreement made years ago. It had been the longest time they had lived together in years and by then she had felt like she was suffocating. Hence why she had spent more and more time away with the Diplomatic Corps. Maybe she had run away after all.

Sharah laughed slightly, “Oh I’m not worried about any romantic connotations. That is not my goal at all.” Though maybe she was worried about how others might approach the auction. She was about to make some flippant remark about people getting their money back if it didn’t work out when she was hit with a tidal wave of emotion from the woman across from her.

The sudden realization sparked a flood of emotion and Eela sat back alarmed. “I’m sorry,” she said holding up a hand, as if she could protective the sensitive telepath form the onslaught. She steadied her breath, letting everything tamp back down to be dealt with later now that she knew it was there.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Gov.

Sharah let it wash over her, some of it more clear than other parts, some snippets of thought coming with it, but those were like flotsam in the wave. Some of it tugged and connected to her own emotions from recent struggles, but it wasn’t hers and she allowed it to slip past her. She reached out and took Eela’s hand, lowering it flat to the table and placed her own hand over Eela’s. “Don’t apologize for how you feel.” Sharah breathed in and as she exhaled calm and acceptance flowed out of her. Oh she was quite aware of the irony of telling Eela to not apologize and her own tendency to do so. Sometimes it was easier to be kind to others than it was to yourself.

When Eela seemed to have steadied herself her hand slipped back. She shared a look with her that clearly conveyed the offer to stay or leave as she might feel she needed.

Fayth, SFCMO

For a moment Eela was frozen, her chest rising and falling with a breath she couldn’t feel, her mind a whirl of things that had been forbidden to think, to feel. Things tucked away for safe keeping. But Oed was a funny place and it was opening her up in ways she hadn’t expected. Some moments she felt that familiar tingle of excitement, of positive energy coursing through her. She couldn’t remember the last time before Oed she had felt hopeful. It felt lost, drowned in a mire of misery and self-recrimination.

Tears pooled at the corners of her hazel eyes, but Dasca remained seated. The pub was quiet and so that meant those around could possibly be more aware of her presence, but it also meant less eyes on her in general. A momentary respite. “That moment on my patio when you were helping me with the garden?” she all but whispered. “That trip up, that strange notion of reminding myself I’m divorced? I feel relief Sharah. Sadness, yes, because I feel like having made it as long as we had in our lives married makes divorce feel a like failure. My failure. After my accident I thought learning to walk again was the thing that was going to take the most strength, the most courage, but… walking out, when the man before me said terrible things, issued ultimatums, and made me feel yet again so horrible about myself took far more strength. I don’t even remember the sensation of my steps, but all I felt when I closed the door behind me was relief. Like air could flow into my chest again. And somehow in the eighteen months since then, I just… forgot how hard it was, how painful. I moved on. I came here. But I haven’t really moved on, because sometimes I’m standing at the door again realizing that I ran away from everything I had had before. But there’s no where to run to anymore, Sharah. I’m here. Even if I could run, where would I go?” She heard her words, and still her musings puzzled her. Later, she could fall back on her training and decipher it, perhaps, but right now, she was mystified and, if she were really honest with herself, fascinated, by these sudden pings of understandings that swept over her. It was like an image was being revealed to her, one shade and tone at a time. Not unlike that painting that hung in her exercise room.

An afterimage of all that had come before.

~Eela Dasca, Lt. Go.