Posted by Captain Julien King (Captain) in Captain’s CNS appointment of sorts

: : : : : : It wasn’t what Riley was expecting to hear and the news took him a moment to digest. Suddenly, La’kia’s return made sense. Sure, she could have simply sought to bring father and son back together around an important Earth holiday, but the surprise of it hadn’t fit.
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: : : : : : Riley hadn’t moved and he looked at Julien now, “Congratulations. I know there’s a lot that comes with this news, a lot of questions, but those aren’t new. You’re working through those with A’naad. You’ll continue that work. A daughter? It’s joyful news Julien. And La’kia’s here, now. A’naad is here, now. There here in your life with all that comes with it. The Genny. Marishka. Don’t you see? This is a blessing. It’s time to figure it all out.”
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: : : : : : Riley’s words weren’t that of a counselor. He wasn’t prodding Julien to his own discoveries, or asking probing questions. They were the words of a friend who felt he could see the path forward more clearly due to his one degree of separation.
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: : : : : : Dekker, CNS
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: : : : : Julien looked up at Riley as if Riley had turned into a Bolian and Riley could feel a tinge of anger now in Julien’s mealstorm of emotions.
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: : : : : “A blessing? A....” he drew in air. “I’ve just only come to grips with the fact that the love of my life and our son can’t live with me, because they need this blasted connection to Zahara in order to stay healthy. I’ve just got over this debilitating pain by telling myself it’s better this way, a Starship isn’t a safe place as we’ve all found out so recently when we lost the last Genesis.
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: : : : : I’ve even moved on and I fell in love with Marishka, a woman who is like me in so many ways, who can actually handle the fact that I’m thrice as heavy as a normal human being thanks to my implants. And now La’kia comes back, basically telling me that I will now also have a daughter I can not be with and watch grow up, all the while I’m probably going to loose Marishka again over this. And you call this a blessing?”
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: : : : Riley stood as well and just listened. He’d seen Julien at his most extremes, always La’kia had been part of the catalyst. It was part of why he had accepted Marishka in Julien’s life more easily than Sage and other friends who had known the Captain and Zaharan as a family unit.
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: : : : : he got up and on both feet and felt the need, finally, to destroy something, but the holodeck was still empty and running a program only to destroy its contents seemed somewhat childish to Julien.
: : : : : He ran his hands into his short black curls and pulled at them, wanting to feel physical pain in order to not have to focus on the excruciating pain he felt in his heart.
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: : : : : “No, no, no, no Riley. This is all wrong. I was just starting to feel happy again with Marishka and able to ignore how much I was missing my son, this can’t be happening. There is no solution Riley, she can’t stay here and I can’t resign my commission and stay with her on Zahara, now less than ever.”
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: : : : : He looked into his friends dark eyes again, knowing full well that the question was hugely unfair to ask the Counselor. “What shall I do? Tell me and I’ll do that. No matter what it is.”
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: : : : : Oh, if he only could. If only for once somebody else could make the huge decisions that decided over so many lives, a full crew of fine Starfleet Officers and a Zaharan and her two half-human children. If only the world were so simple and he could - for this one time - hand over all that vast responsibility to the counselor.
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: : : : : - Julien King, CO
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: : : : Riley felt the Captain’s anguish keenly, “You know I can’t make this decision for you, Julien, but I can tell you that your situation hasn’t changed. There’s no new variable here. Your family with La’kia is going to grow, yes, but you’ve already made the choice to separate. You say you were just getting over the pain of this choice. Well the choice hasn’t changed, has it? This is just a stark reminder of it. Everytime you see A’naad, and now your daughter, you’ll be reminded of the choice you’ve made. You have to accept it and believe it’s the best choice for all, or you have to make a different choice.”
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: : : : Dekker, CNS
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: : : Julien deflated like a baloon and looked at Riley sheepishly. As much as that was possible for Julien. “You’re right. I know you’re right.” he heaved a deep sigh. “I think I needed that slap, thank you.. again. You’re my sanity Riley.” Julien said, looking crestfallen.
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: : : - Julien King, CO
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: : “I just help you find it inside yourself,” he said lightly. “You have to talk to La’kia. The only path forward is one you decide together. What can I do to help you approach that conversation with your extremes tamed? Do you need time? I can talk to La’kia if that helps. Make sure she understands it isn’t her or your unborn daughter keeping you away for now.”
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: : By now, Riley meant today. Julien couldn’t avoid La’kia and his new reality for long.
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: : Dekker, CNS
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: Julien looked at Riley and cringed. “Actually, I think it would be good if you were there when I talk to her. I don’t know how she feels about all that and I don’t want to make it harder for her. You… you can feel what she feels. You can direct the conversation in the right way. Also, I don’t want to be alone with her, which… brings me to my other request.” he heaved a sigh.
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: “Can you talk to Marishka about all this? I know it sounds crazy Riley but I love her, I love her in a totally different way to La’kia, but I do. I never thought this could be possible, but apparently it is. The two are so extremely different that it almost doesn’t feel as if there is a conflict.
: La’kia is everything I’m not, she’s balanced me out, but I’m sure you can remember our convesations back then and the trouble I had at times to reign back the more… fiercer side of me.
: Marishka is like me in so many ways. She can take even that side and then some. The first time we kissed was after a holodeck battle where we killed a lot of Klingons and were drenched in blood. I was able to make love to La’kia despite my heavy weight in her lighter gravity. With Marishka I don’t need that, she can take my whole weight Riley, all the android parts, because her Klingon bone structure simply doesn’t care and neither does she. It’s extremely liberating. I need Marishka. With all of this happening now.... I can not lose her Riley, I can not.” he said forcefully but Riley could feel the stark fear in Julien upon the thought of loosing Marishka.
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: Every human being had weaknesses and with Julien it was his essential need to have one person in his life that did not look up to him, expecting him to give commands, make decisions and carry all the responsibility.
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: - Julien King
It was the Julien who let his emotions stand naked in front of him that Riley respected most. The man as captain was the pillar of strength that held the Genesis family together, but he didn’t let that role subsume the rest of him. Just as forcing two opposite sides of a magnet together caused them to push apart, his own dual nature fought within itself.
“I’ll be there for you and La’kia, but only if she wishes it as well. If not, my presence could cause more harm than good. As for Marishka, I’ll talk with her. She understands people, as well as anyone I know, and I don’t sense jealousy or insecurity are weaknesses she claims. You’re lucky in that, you know. La’kia and Marishka are very different women, but neither is given to judgment. You and I will muddle through this, but the women are why I’m optimistic this will all turn out right.”
Dekker, CNS

Julien looked at Riley trying to find the right words to thank the man. As the seconds passed by and he still couldn’t form the right words, he just took a step forward and, enbolded with the knowledge that Riley didn’t mind a bit of male-to-male affection, he imply enfolded the counselor in a bear hug, careful as always not to put too much force into his right arm and accidentially crush the counselor.

• Julien King

Riley returned the hug and they just stood there like that for a moment. Once they separated, Riley took a breath and gave Julien a wry smile.

“Where to first? La’kia or Marishka?” Riley paused. “Actually, let me make that decision. Let’s find La’kia. She has to be wondering how you’re taking the news of her pregnancy.”

Dekker, CNS