Posted by Captain Calvin Marius (Captain) in How to Make a Counselor Mad as Hell

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vanessa Slade (CNS) in How to Make a Counselor Mad as Hell

Posted by Captain Calvin Marius (Captain) in How to Make a Counselor Mad as Hell
(Snip)
“”Truth or Dare,” He wondered when he became a 18 year old. “I didn’t play truth or dare when it was and age-appropriate game.”

“Truth or Dare is a location-specific and people-specific game,” she held up a finger. “You can’t play it with just anyone and there are some rules. I mean it’s not like we can pull the fire alarms and get everyone out of bed on a ship like you could at the academy.”

He stared at her. “Isn’t it protocol to start with truth before it gets wild with dares?”

“I was just giving you the option, but I have already formulated the question I was going to ask. You are not ready for a dare…yet.”

“Insulting.”

“Good listening,” she shot back. “You stated you don’t like surprises and dares are just surprises wrapped up in paper with a bow.” She winked at him knowing she was just taunting him.

She had zero expectation Calvin would ask for a dare. It also wasn’t like they were in middle school where an option was running up and down the halls activating door chimes and running away; therefore, she plowed ahead with her question. “What is the most impulsive and exciting thing you ever did in your life?” Oddly enough, Vanessa was very interested in the response. It was not because she didn’t think he hadn’t done something crazy. Once Calvin had been a cadet, a Marine, a hormonal teen, so the possibilities were endless.

Vanessa Slade CNS

Calvin looked at her blankly for a moment. The most exciting things he ever did was under orders, so he didn’t think that was what she was looking for. “I have HALO jumped on a planet without oxygen? But I don’t think that’s the sort of thing you were looking for.”

“No but impressive,” she nodded. “I failed EVA 101 three times before the professor pity passed me. I swore to him I was never going to need it because I was never going to be on a star-ship. I also swore to him that if it was between life and death for me getting into one of those suits I was going to die either way. The second I put it on and stepped into space I passed out.”

“So you are either a bad psychic or a good liar.” He decided that he was going to put her on EVA training. It would be bad form to hammer her with a training since she admitted it during truth or dare, but he had a ship to run.

He paused again. “I stole a shuttle when I was sixteen. My driving was very questionable and I was very panicked. Tons of adrenaline, lots of regret. Is that kind of what you were looking for? In general I don’t do impulsive things.”

Marius

“I was not expecting anything,” Vanessa partially lied. She wasn’t sure what to expect. The man in front of her was once a teenage boy and they usually only came as shy geeks or impulsive and moody. Calvin had way too much confidence to slip into the shy geek so it tracked with what she knew about him. “Why did you that night? Was it over a chick,” she taunted him slightly. “Most bad decisions men make involve women in some form or another.”

Vanessa Slade CNS

He shook his head. “Nah, that wasn’t the stupid things I did around women. I make bad jokes, acted as if we were closer than we actually were. Maybe some crappy flirting, trying to do something reckless was more a not thinking sort of deal.”

“Not surprisingly there was some drinking, but mostly it was kind of the shuttle was there and so was I. The rest was tons of bad teenage driving.”

Marius

“What did your guardian’s do?” The story fascinated Vanessa more than it probably should. It was just hard to imagine the Calvin she had met so far as anything but a Starfleet officer. That would change in time. She had only been on the ship about six months. Vanessa was still dipping her toe into the non duty side of most of the crew.

Vanessa Slade CNS

Calvin chuckled ruefully, then took a sip of his beer and chuckled again. “Probably not nearly enough I got the I’m very disappointed in you speech. I got the drunk flying speech, which I have to admit they were really right on.” It was hard to crash an undamaged shuttle by accident, but being drunk was one of the tricks on how to nerf the safety protocols.

“Those were the worst,” Vanessa chuckled and let out a groan staring at the few slices of pizza left on the table. Pizza was one of those deadly foods in that you seemed to keep eating it long past when you should have stopped.

“I wasn’t much of a drinker then, but I grew up into one.” He stared off. “Its funny I didn’t really like being ‘drunk’ drunk. That loss of control which for me was more a lack of judgement. I thought I could do anything, that my drunk wasn’t the same as everyone else’s drunk.”

Vanessa knew that stare. It was one of deep contemplation. There were so many reasons to drink during Calvin’s life but the reference to growing up into one made her think about one’s childhood affected one’s adult life. Vanessa had read the summaries about his colony world getting destroyed and growing up being adopted. In some ways, Calvin was like the kids whose parent’s she served in the VA. They had families but were essentially an orphan, had a new family but didn’t fit in, or a combination of both. It made Vanessa made as hell to think about how much some kids had to shoulder at such a young age. It wasn’t fair but life wasn’t fair.

“Might not know it, but I had a drinking problem. I wasn’t as much an alcoholic as dealing PTSD badly.”

Marius

“Self-medicating to numb one’s senses is common and you are right, that doesn’t make one necessarily an addict or alcoholic. It makes one human.” Vanessa did not mention the other negative coping mechanisms but started to think of them and how they might apply to her CO. Always keeping his guard up would be attributed to his time during Marine combat and the fact he was a Captain of a Starship. Avoiding others was more due to rank than choice most of the time. Even off duty, Calvin has to be ready to take back command so the frivolous fun more could partake in, Calvin could only due off ship or on leave. He did work too much but that could be said for most Star-fleet officers.

“It actually didn’t make me feel better. It was I thought it would and then I would drink, soon later I was drunk and then as a stupid drunk guy, I then wanted to drink more.” He shook he head. “I didn’t work, it never worked, but that was the clown show I was. Doing something I knew didn’t work, hoping it would work.”

Flipping the script, Vanessa thought about all the positive things Calvin did in his day to day life. He was one of the few Captains that she knew who took his free time off the ship. This allowed him to have a healthy work life balance. When he returned he did have that proverbial spring in his step for a bit. Calvin might not be a joiner like she was but he did show up and not for just the mandatory functions. Hell he was in her living room eating pizza after helping a bunch of quasi-orphaned rug rats in a game of paintball.

The man was far too deep to pull apart based on one comment. Vanessa leaned forward and placed her beer on the table with a soft clink pushing the plate of pizza away from the center of the table. Her eyes locked onto Calvin’s, flickering with a mix of empathy and curiosity as if she didn’t know what question to ask first. “Tell me about them,” she rested her elbows on her knees clasping her hands between them. It was not the typical aloof counselor posture but showed she was fully invested in whatever he chose or did not choose to share. Vanessa also did not specify which set of parents in her comment. That would be up to Calvin if he chose to share it.

Vanessa Slade CNS

“Hmm,” he looked back at her locking eyes. “Who?” Who them. Calvin when discussing his failures and weakness. It usually ran down a single road with three stops, the loss of his parents and how poorly he in turn treated his adoptive guardians who were more saint than mortal. The Dominion war and his capture and torture, and his PTSD and following drinking ‘problem.’

Interestingly there were other serious events in his life, not least of all was his failed marriage that contained a year long estrangement, where his then wife ‘disappeared’ into the warm embrace of section 31 and a soap operatic memory loss.

“Well that is up to you,” she said nonchalantly. Calvin was evasive but not any more than someone who didn’t want to talk about an event or memory. His reply was downright polite compared to some of the responses she had been given in her stint at the VA in Boston.

Calvin had nearly two decades on her. Twenty years where he was an adult and ten of which he was in therapy. So it was a fair statement that he was in therapy longer than she was a therapist. He was very used to the open ended and vague questions. Designed to allow the ‘patient’ to go whatever direction he/she wanted to. He smirked at the effort, but he had no interest in participating in it. He wasn’t going to did into his emotional baggage as in boxing it help him contain it.

“I’ve spent enough time talking about my issues with therapists,” He eyed her, “are you trying to be my therapist now? or are you my lieutenant in our attack against the teenagers on the laser tag holo-game.”

Calvin wasn’t cured of his traumas and his avoidance of most of it let him compartmentalize it so he could always function and often thrive. Digging around in this usually just caused ‘moods’ that no one would enjoy.

Marius

Reaching to the table next to her, Vanessa pulled out a piece paper and jotted something down on it. Moving off the couch, she leaned in towards Calvin sitting in the chair. With her right hand she took his empty beer bottle between her two fingers and with her left hand placed the paper on his chest holding it steady with her palm as she spoke. “I am not looking to be your Lieutenant except on duty.” Her tone was soft and her expression showed amusement either with herself of his question. “I am definitely not looking to be your therapist. There is so much red tape involved when you are sleeping with your client.” Giving him a wink and a sly smirk, Vanessa pushed off his chest but left the paper there as she went to get them a few more drinks.

Calvin actually looked over his shoulder as if there were a person in her bedroom that could have overheard the comment. Sheepishly he looked back. He had been pretty covert in making it apparent to others that they were dating. But he made virtually no effort in concealing the normal interaction two officers of their rank and relationship would normally have. And of course with the male – female dynamic and the overtly social nature of Vanessa made it look more flirtatious than it actually was, but less of what the relationship behind closed doors was… so.. he wasn’t sure it was irony but it was contradictory.

She did not give him long before stating, “The name on the paper is Dr. Heathcliff Rinker. Fabulous therapist. He would be a perfect fit for you to reach out to later when you need someone to tell how fabulous I am and how conflicted you are about it all. He was my,” she let her voice trail a bit before adding, “supervisor in the for a bit.” Returning with another beer, Vanessa sat on the edge of the coffee table facing him instead of on the couch.

“Rinker?” he paused, “I know the name, he was my psychatrists, boss when I was on Betazed. Saw the guy.” He held his hand out indicating he was short. Rinker wasn’t actually that short, 5’9”ish, but Calvin was a full 6 foot 2 and built like a bear.

“He is not that short.” The smile on her face showed she found humor in Calvin’s statement. She brought her legs up sitting cross-legged on the coffee table, as she let out a chuckle. “I will say however I think he is part Betazoid. The man has an uncanny knack for knowing what is on your mind and how to get you talking about things you don’t want to but should. I learned a lot from him.” Vanessa’s history with Heathcliff was not an off-topic of discussion but needed to be doled out in steps.

“Potato, tomato, little person.” He responded.

Vanessa let a small smile spread over her face as her thoughts tumbled about her head. It was nice to have crossed the bridge between a co-worker to friend. This let Calvin speak without calculating every word or thought in a conversation. Neither of them had to worry about being anyone other than themselves which was a rarity for a Captain and a Counselor. She waited to hear what else he might have to say on the subject

“I don’t think he knew any more than the rest of them. He just has that knowing smirk on his face.”

“Like the one I am wearing now?” Calvin was not a counselor but as a Captian he had learned to read people with the best of them. Her comment was subjective and yet she was sure he could infer what was on her mind based on the knowing smirk.

Taking a long sip of her beer, Vanessa kept her eyes on him as she drank. Lowering the drink, she took a deep breath but more out of contemplation than worry. “I am looking to be your friend,” she confessed. “I want you to come to me or talk to me because you want to and not because you are ordered to. I know a lot more about you from your military jacket than is probably fair. I think I would prefer to learn more about it when you want to tell me or it comes up naturally even though you are going to say it is never gonna come up it will. It happens when you are a friend with benefits.” The flirty smile spread over her face as she took another sip of her beverage.

Vanessa Slade CNS

Calvin shrugged. “My big problems are too big for a normal conversation, and my small problems are too small to bother bringing up. So I’m a little stuck in terms of being open.” He looked at her, “On the other hand you have a football team worth of siblings – a rugby team – if you add your parents so I’m certain you can come up with a little mid level crisis that you’d be able to talk about without us needing to go to a quiet room to deescalate.”

Marius

“Oh, there is no quiet room back home and my family can be a full-blown crisis. Other times we are just typical.” On some level, Calvin was very complex however on another level he was a typical male. As long as his basic needs were met, Calvin Marius did not seem to sweat the small stuff. He was open to talking about issues but most likely approached them with the ‘fix it’ mentality and was not probably keen to discuss it for hours in a circular fashion. It was nice however to just talk to someone who wanted to freely give information instead of being ordered to give it or spending six hours in an evasive cat or mouse game. Maybe this is why Vanessa was far more blunt at times. “Our big family issue is me joining Starfleet. My parents are not fans at all.” Taking a large sip of her drink, Vanessa’s normal effervescent confidence dipped slightly. Calvin might not be a counselor but he was a Captain and pretty good at reading people due to the nature of his job.

“Well that is the advantage, disadvantage of a big family. Communication, but it tends to be loud and dramatic. My history and small family made me emotionally constipated… I got that from one of my therapists.”

“Laxatives, prunes, and a good rom-com could help regulate that,” Vanessa shot back before laughing at her own joke. It was a flaw and one she didn’t actually care about remediating. When something was funny she laughed, when it made her mad she yelled. Vanessa was an emotional creature and didn’t hide it with her humor or actions.

Composing herself behind the bottle of beer she dropped it back into her lap. “It’s fully based on fear for your kid and not any anti-fleet sentiment. My parents and family are very patriotic but sometimes when issues hit your doorstep you react differently than if it is on your neighbor’s doorstep. Doesn’t make you bad people,” she suddenly felt like she had to defend her family. “The Breen attack on Starfleet HQ and the Dominion War brought things a little too close for comfort for most civilians on Earth. It changed me. I wasn’t old enough to understand anything but I remember seeing the news holos of people being hurt and knowing I wanted to do something to help. It’s why I started Nursing school before enlisting and then becoming a counselor.”

She opened her mouth to continue when her console chirped announcing an incoming call. “One second,” she held up a finger indicating she did not need privacy. Tapping the accept button her face changed slightly seeing the face on the other end. “Dr. Braxton,” her brow furrowed slightly. It was rare anyone got a call from Command HQ and even more rare that a Lieutenant would be receiving a call from the head of Starfleet Counseling. Looking over her shoulder she glanced at Calvin with a forced smile. “Sir maybe we can follow up on this tomorrow?” Her tone was formal allowing Calvin the ability to slide out of the room without any explanation. They were not doing anything improper but she knew her Captain like anonymity.

Watching Calvin leave her quarters, she directed her attention back to the console and Dr. Kelson Braxton.

Vanessa Slade CNS