Posted by Lieutenant Commander Thomas McGregor (COS) in Holodeck -I can just throw myself off the side of the cliff - MacGregor counseling thread

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Vanessa Slade (CNS) in Holodeck -I can just throw myself off the side of the cliff - MacGregor counseling thread

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Thomas McGregor (COS) in Holodeck -I can just throw myself off the side of the cliff - MacGregor counseling thread
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
“I’m spectacularly bad at identifying my own issues,” Thomas replied. “As you may have gathered.”

COS

“Who isn’t,” Vanessa let out a laugh. “Did you know every therapist has a therapist?” She wasn’t sure if Thomas knew this or the joke about it. “Usually it is disguised as a staff meeting,” she used an intonation that indicated air quoting since her hands were currently occupied holding onto the rock for dear life. “Trust me we normally avoid staff meetings like everyone else but no one questions it when they see it.” Reaching up she began to climb testing each rock thoroughly before actually using it to help support her weight.

“Identifying your issues as you termed it played havoc on your psyche which is why most of us try to avoid it. There is nothing more depressing than looking in the mirror and rattling off all the questions you have such as why is no one swiping right on my dating profile, why am I not happy, why does my family piss me off so much, why haven’t I gotten that promotion,” she rattled off questions that were pretty standard fare people could relate to even if it was just in the general sense.

Thomas gave a “hm” that indicated he was following what Vanessa was saying.

“This tends to be followed by one supplying the answers. It’s my nose or I am too fat, I am lonely or co-worker so and so is a total dick that makes my life hell, they just can’t accept me and my choices in life because my choices are different than theirs, I work so hard and no one seems to notice me but only the golden girl or boy.” Vanessa again rattled off non-specific responses to the generalized questions she posed.

“That last part usually depends on personality type. People will start to rationalize their responses searching for validity. For the sake of argument, I am going to go with the extreme ends which is you get the overconfident arrogant people that say I am the universe’s gift to the love interest, my co-worker is just jealous of me, my family is too narrow-minded, and my boss is threatened I will take their job. The flip side is the spiral into depression and self-doubt that there is nothing appealing about me and why am I a failure which covers every response. About eighty percent of people fall in the middle of these two spectrums but self-questioning sucks. I mean who wants someone to pick out every flaw, serve it up on a platter for sixty minutes with a cup of coffee and then say don’t you feel better? See you next week.” Vanessa paused waiting to gauge Thomas’ reaction to her monologue.

Vanessa Slade CNS

“Well, nobody, I would think. I would also think that would almost constitute malpractice on the therapist’s part, since they’re almost certainly leaving the patient worse off than they found them,” Thomas replied. “But at the same time, sometimes there’s no better option than to open up old wounds, even if you can’t fully heal them in the time you’ve got available. I will say, however, none of those issues are ones I have.”

COS

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“Therapy is like one of those hero action movies. The client struts in, breaks down, feels like they are defeated but then rise up to be far more than they ever thought they could be.” Moving up a few more rocks, Vanessa let out a grunt. Can we hang here for a second? This is harder work than I thought.”

Vanessa leaned against the rock but still held on as tight as if she was climbing. “Before coming here I worked in the VA and it was brutal. Two steps forward and ten steps back. With them, you had to push. You had to force them to see all to see past the ends of their noses. It’s not malpractice to be blunt but for the people not ready they just quit. Also, there are a lot of therapists and a lot ways to do therapy. When the right therapist matches with the right client magic happennnns,” Vanessa blurted out as the rock broke and she began to fall down the rockface.

Vanessa Slade CNS

Thomas reacted quickly, grabbing the rope and pulling it taut, arresting Vanessa’s unplanned descent rather abruptly. In fact, she was now dangling just opposite of him.

“Well, look who decided to drop in,” he said with a grin.

COS

“Look who decided to stop me from becoming a red smear on the rocks below,” Vanessa retorted clinging to the rope like it was a literal life line.

Vanessa Slade CNS

bump

“Well, technically, the safety controls would have left you just laying on your stomach in midair after about a hundred more feet,” Thomas said. “This was just an excuse to make a quip and also leave some interesting bruises on you,” he added with a smirk.

COS

“True which is why I have mixed feeling about them,” Vanessa stated. “They can be a lot of fun but,” unbuckling her harness, Vanessa fell about twelve inches before, just like MacGregor stated, she stopped in mid-air. “They are boring and dull. If one has nothing to lose there is no thrill. Sure it can get your heart pumping if you pretend it is all real. It can create stress, anxiety, happiness, and pleasure but it is fake. Kinda like life. Without something to lose one gets a false security about themselves or events and then can make up any reason, valid or invalid, about why their problems are not always their fault. I prefer to do things for read but on a ship that is not possible.”

Vanessa Slade CNS

“Well, if you can sweet talk engineering, there’s always the option of taking a turboshaft offline for maintenance and climbing that,” Thomas pointed out. “A 600-odd meter climb would take you the better part of a day and be plenty taxing.”

COS

“Yes, but to what end,” Vanessa looked at him and sat down. Being in the program still, made her look like she was floating in the air like a genie. “If I wanted to climb a turboshaft I would have been an engineer and that would have benefitted no one. I do not know how Dane does it.” Vanessa thought about her family and felt a rush of homesickness.

“So do you have any happy memories about your siblings? When I say happy it is comparative. Dallas once made Dylan drink a glass of pink lemonade that actually was really watered-down dish soap. It was not a good memory for Dallas but one of my favorites.”

Vanessa Slade CNS

“Happy for me, but not necessarily them? Sure,” Thomas said. “I’m the oldest, so I’ve seen almost every stupid thing they’ve done in the process of growing up. At least, if it happened prior to three years ago. Though my reunion with Josie gave me an absolutely hilarious mental image, because it was something I’d experienced myself.”

COS

“Tell me about it,” Vanessa asked. She genuinely invested in hearing about the happy and content side of Thomas. In their roles as officers, there often was not time to get to know them past when they were on the job. Hearing his background, made Vanessa want to know it even more.

Vanessa Slade CNS

“So, for background, our reunion came on the heels of what was apparently a disastrous date for her, since she beamed herself onto the front porch of the house in tears,” Thomas began.

“Turns out, the date was a disaster because her beau had taken her out for sushi in Tokyo, not having any way of knowing how violently she would respond to wasabi. Well,” Thomas said with a rather mean grin, “he found out rather quickly once she ate it, since she upchucked all over him.”

COS

“Ughhhh,” Vanessa cringed as she laughed. “Did he show up back at your house? Are they still a couple,” she asked sliding off one of her shoes to shake out a rock. It did not escape her the second she did it that there could be no real rock since it was a hologram; however, the program said there was a rock in her shoe so going through the action would convince her mind it was taken care of. “I figure there is a 50/50 shot it was one of those amazing start of a relationship stories or one of the stories you tell when you are drunk about the worst dates of your life. Go on,” she asked genuinely intrigued about the story Thomas was sharing.

Slade CNS

“He didn’t that night, but two days later as I was getting ready to head back to the ship I weaseled out of her that he had sent a message that night after she’d run off mortified saying it was his fault for taking her somewhere where she’d have such a reaction, and set up another date at somewhere of her choosing. I believe she was planning on introducing him to scotch eggs in Edinburgh,” Thomas said.

COS

“And what became of this beau,” she asked. Vanessa was a sucker for happy endings but also understood life was more reality than fantasy. The story probably ended like most dates where it went nowhere after a few months. Barely anyone made it out of their teens and twenties with the love of their life. That was why most people called their twenties just flings.

Vanessa Slade CNS

“Dunno,” Thomas said. “I’m not typically one to snoop in my siblings’ love lives. I probably wouldn’t have known about him at all if I hadn’t been home that day.”

COS

Vanessa made sure the sadness didn’t cross her face but maintained a neutral expression. Her family life was a complete and polar opposite of Thomas’. Her family was loud, noisy, in your business, and extremely close. While that was not for the faint of heart, it was her normal. Not everyone wanted that or sought out that kind of relationship. Talking about his family only made Vanessa miss her family more.

“So enough heavy talk,” she changed the subject. This wasn’t a therapy session so she did not have to stick to the same topics. “Let’s come up with something fun and light. You pick,” she suggested. “I am an open to anything.”

Vanessa Slade CNS