Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Ensign Ashlyn Trenton: On Boarding Psyche Evaluation

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Ensign Ashlyn Trenton: On Boarding Psyche Evaluation

Posted by Ensign Ashlyn Trenton (Security Officer) in Ensign Ashlyn Trenton: On Boarding Psyche Evaluation
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(snip)

Sienna was silent for a long time as she contemplated the explanations given. Ashlyn had spoken at length and there had hardly been time to get word in edgewise. IT seemed as though they were under several assumptions about the Counselor and her job and it was fascinating, albeit a bit of a barrier for her purposes. “Hmmm,” she crossed her arms and bought one hand up to her lips, stroking the lower lip slowly with the delicate pad of her finger as she stayed in obvious contemplation. How best should she approach all of the things that had been said? Perhaps she should start first with the insulting assumption about what all Siennadye’s job entailed. Finally she took a deep breath and laid her dark gaze back on her patient.

“There are several points I think we should discuss and I suppose we should start with the me-centric one in that you assume my job is to only focus on your fitness to perform your duties. I can assure you that such evaluations are not narrowly focused. As security personnel in Star Fleet and specifically with your position here on the ship, I must evaluate trustworthiness, professionalism, mental and emotional stability, analytical ability, the capability to keep secrets, and the ability to understand and interact with people which is a significant part of your job. Granted I do not evaluate you on the same level of standard I would say.... Lt Abrams, but those are the basics. It’s not just your technical expertise that keeps your job when in service to Star Fleet. The most genius Engineer who did not do well with interpersonal relationships would likely not serve on a ship where he is in constant and close contact with the crew. Rather, Star Fleet would put him on an outpost or a research facility to better facilitate his duties. A Counselor is part of that decision making process. Not only is it the question of are you fit, but are you a good fit and are we a good fit for you.”

“I do not evaluate you on your ability to shoot a phaser or your physical strength. That is for your department head to evaluate over time. I wonder then why you felt the need to tell me what my job was and then tell me what you think my evaluation should say or where it’s focus should be?”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn fell silent and didn’t have anything to say, letting her ‘Conference’ try to come up with a reasonable answer. “So first off, it’s clear we shouldn’t have said that last paragraph. We were not wrong about her focus being on the fitness for duty, all her specifics fit into that generalization. That doesn’t mean we should have said anything. Why not, is this not Parkour, is this not a safe space free from judgment? No, this is currently a temporary extension of her office. She would taint this sacred place of freedom!? Stop that, that’s not helpful, we need to backpedal. It’s too late for that, just apologize and clarify. Clarify what though, the fact that we are not wrong? That will garner negative repercussions so don’t do that. Are we all in agreement that we should apologize?” Yes echoed through the headspace. “Form it without insulting the Counselor at least, and we need to show genuine remorse for not being clear then following up with something stupid. We’re really good at digging. Yes, well, let’s stop before the hole gets so deep we can’t hope to make it back to our quarters.”

Ashlyn swallowed the knot that was forming and looked off to the side to consider her words carefully. “I apologize, for me this is a place of freedom and I didn’t stop to consider what I was saying before it was said. I shouldn’t have presumed to know the depth of your responsibilities toward the ship, nor should I have commented further. It will not happen again.” A collective groan roared from the Conference, leaving Ashlyn informed of their disapproval. “What? I apologized, didn’t I? You did, but the way you did it. How is she not supposed to interpret that as closing off and no longer cooperating? If she didn’t hate you before she’ll certainly hate you now. Okay then what should I have said? ‘I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have said that’ then nothing until she asked a question which you know she would. She has about thirty-five more questions until she inevitably sends you to another ship because she’ll have had enough of you. She’s going to separate you from Sharah because you’re a disgusting-” The speaker is cut off with the sound of a hammer that fell on the table. “This self-depreciation is not helpful so stop it, focus on the Counselor, we need to see her expressions to know how she took the apology.” Ashlyn took another deep breath and faced the counselor, awaiting the repercussions of her apology.

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

The advantage of being Betazoid was fully in play here. Ashlyn was unable in her panic to keep her thoughts from projecting quite loudly. Sienna waited patiently for the Ensign to collect themselves and present what they wanted to her in their form of an apology. The effort was worth something at least. Apparently she had not made her own self clear that personal attributes did have an effect on her duties. Still, she felt that she should give Ashlyn some breathing room considering her panic response. If she wanted to continue this evaluation, she needed to let it drop. With compassion, she nodded. “Apology accepted.” Then she climbed up and gestured for Ashlyn to continue the course, albeit slow enough for the Counselor to follow.

“Oh, well that went better than anticipated. Excellent, now see if-. Don’t jinx it! Take it and just stay quiet!” Ashlyn did a deliberately slow and steady climb, moving with a smooth grace up the pipes and making sure never to get too far ahead of the counselor. She really wasn’t in the mood to upset her more, all the backpedaling was exhausting.

On to the next thing then. “Dating, or even having long term relationships with multiple people is not an issue. I wonder why you feel the need to defend that stance to me? Ethical non-monogamy is valid and has many forms. If you choose to date 20 people and can do so in an ethical way while maintaining your sanity and schedule, that is totally your business. Perhaps because I am married, you think I do not feel other forms of relationship orientations are valid or worthwhile?” She smiled softly and shook her head. “I can promise you, they are as valid as any other relationship orientation including my own. You do not need to defend that to me or I hope to anyone.”

There was a mildly humorless laugh that came from Ashlyn, cut off with clapping a hand over her mouth to silence the noise. “Brillant move moron.” “Sorry, defensive posturing when it comes to my relationship beliefs is rather default. I’ve come across far more that are unaccepting of such things than those that are accepting. Honestly, I’ve even dated a few of them because they said they were, yet they threw the biggest fits when I brought someone else home.” Ashlyn had paused for a moment to consider things. “Is that enough? Yes, that is enough. We could just open the box for her. Time and place, this is neither. But the box! No, none of that. Leave it alone.” After the momentary pause, Ashlyn continued to climb.

“I suppose what concerns me is your judgement about what is appropriate when it comes to your flirtations. At the end of the day, you live on a ship with a small complement. We are a community and you are a part of that community. It should take serious consideration to engage in flirtation. Choosing the right person for that is important. If you flirt without discernment, you can end up flirting with someone who is monogamously married.” She wiggled the fingers of her left hand where her wedding band resided. “Or your counselor when you are technically on duty and being evaluated for mental and emotional stability.”

Ashlyn nodded to the end of the statement. “I concede that I did in fact make a poor choice of flirting to disarm during this meeting and for that, I apologize. However, I make the argument that most rejections don’t happen until you flirt or make your intentions known. So I do until I am clearly rejected. So far, I’ve only been clearly rejected twice. Lieutenant Mika Tandra told me I made her uncomfortable so I apologized and Ensign Sharah Fayth told me she was interested in someone else and monogamous.” Ashlyn climbed a few more rungs before she corrected herself. “Three, sorry, less clear but clear enough. You are definitely not interested.”

“Let me put it this way. Just because you can catch all the fish in the lake, doesn’t mean you should. Some will be too young. Some will be to old. Some will not be the right size, shape or taste. Some are needed for another task or place. It is important to know what you want, who that might be by getting to know people, and go after it with purpose rather than flinging your lure around to see what it catches.” She stopped and shrugged. “OR you could keep doing what you are doing. It is a suggestion.”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn ponders on this, her conference more whispers now than the loud arguing they were earlier. “What do we want? Tall, strong, blonde, would look-. You’re describing your boss again. What, she’s hot, can you blame me? That’s really superficial. Well, it’s not like Sharah and Mika are available. I still feel bad about Mika, that really was too aggressive. Lessons learned, we don’t do that anymore. We still think about them though, are we really over it? No, but that’s just how it is for us, we’ll always be stuck with it even if it’s not reciprocated. That really sucks. The counselor is waiting for a response. Uh, Peanut Butter Sandwich.” That thought clearly derailed Ashlyn more than intended, her hand slipped and she had to use her feet to catch herself to stop from falling. “Sorry about that, I uh…don’t really know what I want yet. Experience will change that with time I’m sure. I appreciate the advice, I’ll try to be more spear hunter than net fisher.”

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

Sienna nodded. Ashlyn’s conference was quite loud and she was very careful not to grin at the peanut butter sandwich comment. Interesting that her interjects almost had a conversation aspect to them. Mind palaces were a well known phenomenon in psychologist circles, though Ashlyn’s had more conversation than most. Living most of her life listening to the head conversations around her, she had no problem following the Conference of Trenton and doing the parkour climbing. She wasn’t the best and she was getting winded, but she wasn’t doing too bad for someone who didn’t exercise overly much.

She was glad that Ashlyn would try to be a little more discerning. It was possible to figure out if someone was not open to flirtations a lot of the time, why waste one’s efforts on those. She was just concerned at Ashyln’s lack of personal boundaries, strange for a Security officer who was supposed to have paranoid tendencies. The Ensign almost read as just a lack of ability to read social situations accurately. How would that affect her job? Would she be able to guard a diplomat without acting overly casual or pursing their goal of finding a partner or multiple partners to the detriment of their job? There were lots of questions Sienna felt could not be entirely answered in this first meeting. Then again, when had her ever probing mind ever been completely satisfied in the first meeting? She had to grin and shake her head.

“Well then, how are you liking rooming with Ensign Fayth? While it is unusual for someone to be assigned to the same quarters on their post academy ship as someone they roomed with on the academy ship, it seems there was a request filed on behalf of Fayth to ensure her roommate here. Is that okay with you? Do you think that might prevent you from getting close to other people?”

Nox, CNS

Ashlyn’s smile betrays more than her thoughts do, the smile soon fades when she finally gets the conference to stop being so inappropriate. “She is my best friend and I have no idea who else would let me turn the entire room into a maze of small Jefferies tubes just so I can sleep better and not in a closet. With her as my roommate, I can actually spend more time being social because I can use my room to recharge my social batteries without having to deal with yet another new person. My biggest concern is mostly for Sharah, I know the conference isn’t really quiet and she picks up on that. I hate that it bothers her but I have no idea how to help minimize the issue that wouldn’t force me into a state of constant social exhaustion.” Ashlyn turns upside down to climb up in reverse just to add that much more challenge to her climb. “Honestly, the reason I don’t feel half as paranoid as I usually do is that she helps provide a more adequate safe space for me to rest in. I can actually get a deep sleep knowing she’s in the room with me.”

• Ensign Ashlyn Trenton
  Security, USS Europa

“Good.” Sienna replied before she stopped talking to get through a particularly difficult challenge. She was starting to breath heavily. “Well, with Sharah, its going to take you learning to shield your thoughts and feelings a bit more. She cannot close herself off so if you want to help her, you need to be the one to learn how to close yourself off. IT shouldn’t create a state of constant social exhaustion to shield yourself. IF it does, you aren’t doing it right.”

“Most people who come from small towns, ships, starbases and small outposts where people know each other well and are always involved in each other’s lives, learn to control what other people feel and see form them. Its a natural defense. Security personnel should have an exponentially greater ability to shield themselves than others due to the nature of the work they do. Have you not been able to do that?”

Nox, CNS