Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Right in the head?… Clodagh checks in with the Councelor

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Clodagh Donnely (Security Officer) in Right in the head?… Clodagh checks in with the Councelor

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Right in the head?… Clodagh checks in with the Councelor
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“Thanks,” she laughed at the woman’s comment of seeing to it she wasn’t listed as a lunatic. Nodding in thanks, she got herself a water from the replicator and took a long sip before answering the friends question. “I don’t know if miss them is the right word. I mean, we all come out here knowing we will meet people then part. We’ll promise to keep in touch. Sometimes we will, sometimes we won’t. But like heading to the Academy on Earth, you had already lost touch with your closest, best friends from primary school that you swore you never would forever and ever, right? So yeah,” she shrugged. “I guess I’ll still think of them. I’m sure we’ll write back-n-forth on occasion but then we will move on. I think the sooner someone accepts that, the less baggage they hold with each proceeding duty change. Don’t you?”

She hadn’t been close to anyone in her school years, or in the Academy. She worked well enough with others there was never a fault in her in that regards. But she tended not to make any close bonds with anyone. No one, if asked, would probably be able to name any male or female she had been so close to as to call ‘best friend’ at any stage in her life.

Clodagh
Security

Sienna found this to be an interesting reasoning and she sipped her drink as she contemplated how Clodagh viewed friendships. It was curious that the young woman had not thought of any of her friendships as lasting. It was a rather cynical way of viewing the people she had met and connected with so far in her primary and secondary school years as well as her first assignment.

“Do you think that will change overmuch now that you are on a more permanent assignment? Or is that how you view the people you will work with throughout your service to Star Fleet?”

Nox, CNS

Clodagh half shrugged. “I don’t know, to be honest. I put so much time into work I guess it will probably be the same here. I mean, I’ll make friends, I’m sure. There will be the usual group from security. Usually it’s grouped by shifts, or favorite locations, or even favorite drinks. But no one’s ever been piqued by me, or me by them to become much more than that. Does it honestly make a difference if it doesn’t affect my duties?” The question wasn’t a defensive one. It was as if she were truly curious why having friends or not made any difference if she was well adjusted and did her duties. It was as if the concept of a full on relationship with someone, or a close tie to one or more folks was completely foreign to her.

Clodagh
Security

“Well,” she said, tossing a cherry into her mouth to think of how to explain the concept to the young person. She swallowed and sat more forward. “Friends have a job in ones life. While many of them come for a time and go, they still have duties to perform… a sort of symbiotic relationship. Whether you realize it or not, your friends have shaped who you are today. You are even the product of the friends who are no longer your friends. There are many perks of friendship include sharpening your mind, making you generally happier, knowing yourself better, becoming inspired to reach your goals, advancing your career, helping you meet romantic partners, and living a longer and healthier life. Early friendships play a vital role because they occur while key developmental changes are taking place. They help teach us some of those important life skills.”

“Teen friendships shape your later romantic bonds. Teen relationships are a training ground for the later long-term bonds that will evolve through adulthood. Friends can help you define your priorities. They provide perspective and an alternative point of view that can be vital to decision making. Loneliness is painful, especially when you are living with loneliness for a prolonged period of time. It can foster a feeling of resentment and jealousy when other’s have a bond that you don’t. Other people can often pull you out of a funk when you are in one. Friendships give you some purpose, other than work. Not only do you benefit from its many perks, but by being a good friend you are helping those closest to you and that provides a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment you do not get in other ways.”

“The closer the friendships, the more likely you will find benefits in them. When you are fulfilled in other ways, it can positively affect your work. In the particular line of work you do, having friends will be vital to your survival of any trauma either emotional or mental… even physical. I could go into the science of brain chemicals that go along with this, but I think I might have expounded enough to answer your question?”

Nox, CNS

Cloe really listened in earnest. “I can appreciate that. And I honestly say I haven’t been in the ‘dire loneliness’ situation. I’ve made enough friends to not become a hermit or recluse. I guess I’m just a realist that out here it’s not like you can hop a transport, go a few hundred miles and end up at home where your childhood sweetheart waits on your return from work every night.” She wasn’t bitter, more non chalant than anything. “As to romantic relationships, save for security males who want to talk you out of being in such a ‘dangerous profession’, I haven’t found anyone willing to take me as me.” She shrugged, again as if it was normal. “I want someone who doesn’t mind that I want to be in front when things get hairy. And someone who kisses me and wishes me well when I have to run out to defend the ship or others. I don’t want to constantly hear “you shouldn’t do that, it’s so dangerous” or “why can’t you get your excitement in science?”.” She shook her head. This time there was a minor bite of pain to her words, despite her demeanor remaining the same on the outside save for a slight shift in her seat. This wasn’t hypothetical. There was a voice in her mind behind those ‘examples’.

Sienna frowned and her forehead wrinkled as she took in this information. In general, staff in the Academy and on post academy ships were very encouraging of everyone to do their best. Sexism was rarely a problem and to hear Clodagh speak of it as though she was frequently subjected to it was a surprise and concerning for the Counselor. She made a mental note to check in with Clodaghs previous assignment and the academy to make sure that they were on the look out for this kind of behavior. It was definitely not tolerated in either of those places.

She leaned forward slightly and mirrored the counselor’s seat. “I am not niave enough to think I can make it out here without others. And I know we have to trust and know those we work with. But so far I’ve been fine. How about if I promise to tell you if I feel bored and am even bordering on lonely?” She leaned back realizing she was getting uppity. “I’m sorry. I go thru this every place I’ve been since our Academy phsych evals. I make friends, I’m not a recluse and I’m not antisocial. I just prefer to put my career first and haven’t found anyone who understands and wholly supports that to the point they want to be more than ‘friends’.”

Clodagh
Security

She took in a deep breath and still looked very concerned. “I must say that is a surprise. Sexism is not tolerated in Star Fleet. If someone has approached you with the idea that you should not be in security because you are a woman, it is your duty to report it regardless of your relationship status with that person. It sounds as though you have come across it a lot in Star Fleet and that is incredibly worrisome to me. Have you experienced it here?”

Nox, Couselor

Chloe shook her head. “Not here, no. And not ‘a lot’. But the one or two people who said it were impact enough. Honestly, it wasn’t a common thing. I promise.” She was adamant it wasn’t a regular thing, not covering up for others. “It was one person, actually. The time I was told I should get my curiosity piqued outside security. And the Chief caught wind. It was handled. The rest,” she shrugged, “guess I just don’t want to run into that. I had a couple female friends growing up who were older. They were in the local law office. They faced it a lot. I went into security cause I know I have what it takes. I just don’t want that sideswiped by getting caught up with a guy who decides a while down the road that he would rather I stayed home now that I had him to protect me.”

Nox would get the feeling that growing up in the shadow of that being a possibility, had made her hesitate once in the Academy. Letting herself get close to someone who said exactly that, just cemented it in her mind that it was there. She was now just determined not to have it happen again. The trouble was, she had no idea how rare it was and that the chances of the ‘average person’ even thinking along those lines would be one in a million.

Clodagh
Security