Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

[snip]

Avik’s expression remained stern and indifferent to the advice, noting her concerns fell on semi-deaf ears. At least, from her perspective. Her dark eyes continued to study the counselor a moment longer before she closed them. She briefly regretted putting away her cup, but her actions couldn’t be taken back now. The XO finally broke her silence to respond.

“Very well. Not many Vulcan traditions or customs fit your description.” Avik gave a short, blunt answer to the advice.

She didn’t agree that Vulcans had no culture that might be of interest to others, but she trusted that Avik would give this some thought.

She knew she would have to dedicate her free time to finding something. Not something she enjoyed the idea of especially since she expected the invitation to be declined again. Progress was a delicate thing when it came to relationships of familiarity and work. Avik just hoped her force boldness wouldn’t cross the clear line. There was one point she had to make clear before the meeting concluded.

“If the invitation is declined, I refuse to waste additional energy or time on repeating it.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Siennadye bowed her head in acknowledgment and respect for the boundary Avik was putting in place. “Of course. I would expect that of anyone. I hope that Vora is more inclined to learn after the incident on the Turbolift. Hopefully you both can come to a sort of mutual understanding and respect for one another through this method. If not, I shall have to be more creative.” She gave a half smile but let it drop as quickly as it had appeared. “I understand your reluctance to put yourself out there and I appreciate that you are willing to try Avik.”

Nox, CNS

“Regardless of her impression of me, I hold no malice towards her. I can’t deny that each encounter with her has hit things I see no reason to relive.” Avik stated.

Avik truly wanted Vora removed from the ship, a simple request for reassignment and evidence of Dvorak’s bias judge would do it. The fact she hadn’t decided on such options stood to prove she held no ill-will to the officer. Even if each encounter stirred trauma she saw no value in facing it.

“We’ll see how far this goes, but the probablity is not in favor of it succeeding.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

She had to wonder if Avik was a logical mind, why she did not see the value of working through the trauma. Though her pessimistic attitude was unsurprising concerning the possible venture with Vora. Sienna felt the need to address the trauma and her unwillingness to consider there might be an issue. “The trauma is still affecting you in some way Commander. Does that not indicate to you that there is still something to be examined there?” Her tone was light and relaxed, inquisitive without being too pushy.

Nox, CNS

“It does, but my attempts to resolve or figure it out haven’t yielded any positive results. In some cases, it has worsened it. I think humans have a good saying, something about there’s no point in beating a deceased Equidae? I am not very familiar with the saying so I apologize for the errors.”

Avik inhaled, then added.

“In the end, emotions only cloud one’s logical judgment in a situation. It is what I have learned both through my childhood and experience.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Sienna was able to school her features to not show the amusement she held in Avik’s butchering of the age old adage. She had no idea personally where it had come from or why it was the way it was so she decided to not try and correct the woman. Her focus stayed on the subject at hand, that of Avik’s avoidance. “Alright. I can say you aren’t wrong, but you also aren’t acknowledging the whole of the consequences. When we avoid or leave trauma in the past, yes we can, at least in the short term, be out of its influence. However, when we do that, we are sometimes letting it build up steam somewhere in our mind, ready to lash out when we least expect it. I don’t want to force anything of you, but I do want you to consider that perhaps in time, we should address the trauma to make sure that if it does rear its ugly head, you will have the tools to face it and minimize its affect on you when it does.”

Nox, CNS

(Sorry for the run ons)

Mentally Avik sighed. It was different to hear it from an outside perspective with no direct blood connections to herself. At this point, the issues had risen twice and far too much for her own approval. She wanted it to stop, but… a primal instinct in her wanted to flee. It took all her strength not to turn in her leave from Europa and seek other experiences elsewhere in Starfleet.

Maybe, even with her distance, she had begun to grow attached to the crew.

Avik’s tone remained steady and unemotional, but the word choice depicted the feelings of exhaustion and concern. She leaned back into her chair for a more comfortable posture.

“It has already surfaced far too many times. Unless an individual experienced it themselves, I do not think anyone can fully relate to what it is like not to feel in control of their own emotions. To feel sorrow or happiness, and realize that it is being forced upon you by someone else. It makes you question where yourself begins and where the other individual ends…”

She paused to wet her tongue.

“The issue here is that I do not know what tools to use besides simply avoiding it.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

OOC: It’s all good.
-Janice B.