Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Siennadye Nox (Counselor) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Avik (XO) in Side Sim- Self Reflections, XO’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (7) by the Post Ghost! 👻
[snip]
Sienna shook her head. “No. It was more a reminder that inner conflict is present from in everyone to some varying degree and that you and Vora have much in common this way. You seem so apart from everyone here. Part of that is being the XO, I know, but something is definitely holding you back from connecting to someone. Maybe you could find a kindred spirit in her, perhaps a friendship? Have you ever considered the possibility?”

She was taking a risk suggesting it. Vora and Avik had had such troubled interactions even though they had recently come to some sort of mutual understanding during the elevator incident. Could they lean on each other and help each other work through past trauma by sharing it with someone who could understand the unique trials it brings? Sienna was prepared to treat both women on her own, but having someone to talk to could be very beneficial to both women’s treatment and mental health.

Nox, CNS

Once more, Avik paused and absorbed the words. Her figure lowered into the chair back as the tea grew cold. She studied the counselor’s suggestion with a serious expression and let the suggestion flow through the experiences of her encounters with officer Zorell. There was little doubt in her mind they progressed some, but the idea of connecting toyed with her. It was obvious that Zorell didn’t fully understand Vulcan culture or their behavior, unlike Nox and the CO. This led to a series of assumptions and negative impressions.

Was it worth the risk?

Any relationship with anyone and of any type often summoned the same question in her mind.

“What you are suggesting is a risk. Officer Zorell’s first assumptions over my behavior and lack of knowledge about Vulcans led to negative impressions. I am open to the idea, but logically it’s best for her to make the first move toward that goal. My first efforts weren’t received well.” She never held anything against Vora, even after the incident. However, she couldn’t say the same confidently.

Her mind drifted to the invitation sent out to all the crew. She had offered to listen and help correct sound pitch, etc. The woman felt very uncomfortable with the suggestion hinting to Avik to withdraw the offer. Since then, she never wasted the energy asking again.

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

“Who better to teach Vora about Vulcans than one of their own. I am sure she could do some research and I will definitely be suggesting such.” She considered the woman in front of her once more. It seemed that Avik had been bitten and after trying, was not willing to extend the olive branch farther than she had already done. “Vora is a studious person and I think she would be amenable to learning more. Your two cultures are so different and yet there are similarities I am sure. Like any culture that comes together and is new to one another, it is beneficial for there to be discourse and teaching on both sides.”

Nox, CNS

Nox presented a piece of logic Avik couldn’t argue against. An individual of the culture was the best representative rather than data within the computer systems. Often minutiae were used as highlight points and led to misunderstandings. The Vulcan XO inhaled then rose up from her seat, her hand reached out and took her cup back to the replicator. As it dematerialized within the compartment, she addressed the Counselor’s comments.

“Fair, but I find a few issues,” Avik stated clearly as she continued.

“If I simply summon her to my office or approach her during her free time, possibly interrupting any plans, would that not give another wrong impression? Teaching someone requires they want to learn. Since Officer Zorell isn’t here to confirm your beliefs, I’m working on your words. This is strictly based on interactions and familiarity I don’t share. If you’re mistaken, I risk making her uncomfortable and possibly hurting any progress we made. Unless you believe I’m incorrect and approaching her randomly will not affect her at all.”

The XO had made her way back to her seat and once more lowered herself down into it.

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

She watched as Avik aligned her thoughts while physically taking her cup to the replicator to dispose of it. “All very good questions. I find that when I want to know if someone is willing to do something with me, I invite them.” She smiled.

“You could send her an invitation. Try to be open and honest without being blunt. Invite her to dinner on the holodeck or some other social type setting. Explain that you wish to speak about your people and culture and if she is willing, she may also share her own experiences with her people and culture. I wouldn’t approach it as an education session. Its not a classroom setting and shouldn’t feel like such. This is an exchange.”

“Perhaps even better, you could arrange a tour of your culture in some way. Invite her to go with you and learn more with the idea that she may return the gesture in good faith and perhaps do one of her own for you. Whatever you decide, it should be a more social in feel rather than teacher in a classroom talking to a student.”

Nox, CNS

Avik’s expression remained stern and indifferent to the advice, noting her concerns fell on semi-deaf ears. At least, from her perspective. Her dark eyes continued to study the counselor a moment longer before she closed them. She briefly regretted putting away her cup, but her actions couldn’t be taken back now. The XO finally broke her silence to respond.

“Very well. Not many Vulcan traditions or customs fit your description.” Avik gave a short, blunt answer to the advice.

She didn’t agree that Vulcans had no culture that might be of interest to others, but she trusted that Avik would give this some thought.

She knew she would have to dedicate her free time to finding something. Not something she enjoyed the idea of especially since she expected the invitation to be declined again. Progress was a delicate thing when it came to relationships of familiarity and work. Avik just hoped her force boldness wouldn’t cross the clear line. There was one point she had to make clear before the meeting concluded.

“If the invitation is declined, I refuse to waste additional energy or time on repeating it.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Siennadye bowed her head in acknowledgment and respect for the boundary Avik was putting in place. “Of course. I would expect that of anyone. I hope that Vora is more inclined to learn after the incident on the Turbolift. Hopefully you both can come to a sort of mutual understanding and respect for one another through this method. If not, I shall have to be more creative.” She gave a half smile but let it drop as quickly as it had appeared. “I understand your reluctance to put yourself out there and I appreciate that you are willing to try Avik.”

Nox, CNS

“Regardless of her impression of me, I hold no malice towards her. I can’t deny that each encounter with her has hit things I see no reason to relive.” Avik stated.

Avik truly wanted Vora removed from the ship, a simple request for reassignment and evidence of Dvorak’s bias judge would do it. The fact she hadn’t decided on such options stood to prove she held no ill-will to the officer. Even if each encounter stirred trauma she saw no value in facing it.

“We’ll see how far this goes, but the probablity is not in favor of it succeeding.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

She had to wonder if Avik was a logical mind, why she did not see the value of working through the trauma. Though her pessimistic attitude was unsurprising concerning the possible venture with Vora. Sienna felt the need to address the trauma and her unwillingness to consider there might be an issue. “The trauma is still affecting you in some way Commander. Does that not indicate to you that there is still something to be examined there?” Her tone was light and relaxed, inquisitive without being too pushy.

Nox, CNS

“It does, but my attempts to resolve or figure it out haven’t yielded any positive results. In some cases, it has worsened it. I think humans have a good saying, something about there’s no point in beating a deceased Equidae? I am not very familiar with the saying so I apologize for the errors.”

Avik inhaled, then added.

“In the end, emotions only cloud one’s logical judgment in a situation. It is what I have learned both through my childhood and experience.”

–XO, Avik, Lt. Cmdr

Sienna was able to school her features to not show the amusement she held in Avik’s butchering of the age old adage. She had no idea personally where it had come from or why it was the way it was so she decided to not try and correct the woman. Her focus stayed on the subject at hand, that of Avik’s avoidance. “Alright. I can say you aren’t wrong, but you also aren’t acknowledging the whole of the consequences. When we avoid or leave trauma in the past, yes we can, at least in the short term, be out of its influence. However, when we do that, we are sometimes letting it build up steam somewhere in our mind, ready to lash out when we least expect it. I don’t want to force anything of you, but I do want you to consider that perhaps in time, we should address the trauma to make sure that if it does rear its ugly head, you will have the tools to face it and minimize its affect on you when it does.”

Nox, CNS

(Sorry for the run ons)