=/\= Coffee, black, 3 teaspoons of sugar =/\=

Rujo watched as the drink appeared before him in the replicator tray. Rujo picked up the mug and took a long sip … at least the replicators in main engineering still worked. He went to the console he was working from and put the coffee mug down on it.

“Computer, what’s the date?” Rujo asked.

=/\= It is presently stardate 69879.8. =/\= came the response.

“And how many Engineers are there on board the Constellation?” Rujo asked.

=/\= Computing … do you want me to include civilian and Starfleet engineers in the calculation, or do you just want Starfleet engineers, or just civilian engineers?=/\=

“Give me all three numbers, in that order, firstly, both Starfleet and Civilian engineers, secondly Starfleet engineers only and finally Civilian engineers only.” Rujo replied.

=/\= Working … carry the 1 … I asked my wife, “Do yo wanna goanna?” … divide by 5 … I pick up the ball and I throw it to who? … square root of 125 … this is an ex parrot … 14. Working … your answer, Lieutenant Kiwa is 1, 1, 0. =/\=

“Oh, so you mean that I’m the only Engineer on board the Constellation?” Rujo asked.

=/\= You are correct, Lieutenant Rujo Kiwa. =/\=

“Thank you, computer,” Rujo said, before opening up a list of overdue maintenance requests on the console he was using. As he waited for the list to appear, he sipped his coffee. Finally the list appeared on the screen, along with page 1 of 50 at the bottom.

Hot Tub - Chief of Jello Investigations Quarters
Hot Tub - Chief of Sanitation Quarters
Sonic Shower - Metiminagaibaa’s Quarters
Turbolift 47 connecting Deck 13 through to Deck 18
Transporter Room 3 located on Deck 23 is out of alignment
Vacuum Cleaning Equipment of Sadie requires a greater deal of sucking
Coffee making facilities of Sadie requires filter replacement and alignment
Holosuite 3 on the port of deck 16/17 wasn’t initialising properly
The fuzzy dice over the dashboard of the shuttles, runabouts and workbees in shuttlebays two and three had all mysteriously disappeared and needed replacement as per Starfleet regulation 47.62674B Subsection 41 ‘Fuzzy Dice and their effect on Crew Morale’
Engineering Hull Sickbay - 2nd isolation bay could no longer be isolated
The 2nd EMH on board has a huge ‘H’ on his forehead and called the CMO ‘smeghead’ when she last called him into action. He’s also insisted on being called ‘Ace’ Rimmer.
The work console of the teaching facilities on Deck 15 has been covered by a combination of paint, glue, craft materials, pencil shavings, and the remnants of what appears to be someone’s lunch. Unsurprisingly the console no longer works and needs immediate replacement.
The metaphasic programming for the shielding system needs to be updated to the latest release for the metaphasic shield before use.
The variable gravity system in the gym has gone haywire. The gym has been closed until further notice and needs engineering expertise to attend to the problem.
The CTO’s work station is on an endless playback of the Benny Hill theme song along with scenes from the show.
The CNO notes that his research into nasal cavities of diplomats, politicians and other VIPs has been locked with a passcode he does not know and requires Engineering to sort it out immediately.

Some of those items were important than others, and some could be held off until a later time. The most pressing of all the items was obviously the fuzzy dice situation, while items like the metaphasic shielding (just don’t go into a sun), the turbolift not working properly (hey, there were plenty of others on board the ship) the malfunctioning EMH (just use the 2nd one) and the CTO’s workstation (the regular streaking episodes of the CTO were entertaining) were far less pressing. The CNO’s issues with his study notes went straight to the bottom of the pile, while the needs of the cleaning and tea lady didn’t concern Rujo … at least not while he had the replicators to provide him with coffees to keep him going.

Finishing his coffee, Rujo tossed the empty cup to one side of the console and went back to the replicator. It landed on top of the score or so of other empty coffee cups that were already there … if he wasn’t careful, the left over coffee in the cups might mutate into some kind of coffee creature that would take over the ship.

=/\= A large extra strong coffee with three sugars. No milk. =/\= Rujo ordered. Picking up the cup of coffee that appeared, his engineering repair kit and the replacement fluffy dice emergency supplies, he headed for the turbolift that would take him to Deck 30 and the two shuttlebays with the missing fluffy die.

• Lt Rujo Kiwa, Chief (& Sole) Engineer