Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek (Communications Officer) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Leah shook her head and kept her gaze on him, maintaining her focus and control. “I still need the boundaries right now and this isn’t about what you have known before, Zaril. This is about what you might need to cultivate going forward. So for the moment, I need you to trust me”-she shook their hands slightly, emphasizing the contact-“trust this and continue to repeat after me.”

“I can only control my own actions.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He repeated what she was saying, letting his emotions flow a little so she knew he was trying and not just playing along. “I can only control my own actions” he said again though that wasn’t exactly true with him, he could make them if he wanted but it was not the way he wanted to do things. It was splitting hairs really but it felt like he was lying to himself. Leah could quiet literally feel his mind wandering.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

The resistance and doubt seeped the the edge and Leah deep a steadying breath trying to draw him back to the present. “Help me find the words that would make the statement more true for you but still you and not what others are doing.” She could give him words, but if they weren’t going to help, then there was more point. It was better for him to find and state his own truth.

~Leah Hart, NP

“I’m sorry. my mind is getting stuck on little details, I can control what people feel, that is the issue both for me, and for them” he said with a slight pause, “I don’t know the right framing. I get what’s implied so maybe that is good enough, Déjalo estar no?”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

“Quizás si,” Leah replied. “I don’t want to ignore the influence you can have on others, Zaril. But it is important to remember that we are all sentient beings with free-will. Even if you were to exude influence, it would not be a constant thing. Just something to keep in mind as we go along.”

Giving their conjoined hands a shake, she took another steadying breath, clearing her mind to focus on him. “I am worthy of happiness and connection.”

~Leah Hart, NP
“I am worthy of happiness and connection.” that made sense to him, all people were that. It seemed right though and she could feel him settle into the feeling it brought, not a longing but and acceptance. He smiled warmly, “I like that” he said.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah smiled back and let her own appreciation be there in their connection. “So do I. It seems like such a simple thing, or to some can even be a little frivolous, but there are times we need reminders about the things we already know. Sometimes life blocks our remembering of these keys truths.”

She took a deep breath and gazed at Zaril, radiating trust. “Now, I would like you to state a truth that if not perfectly universal, could be true for most people.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He looked at her, it was an odd request. “I’m not sure I know what you mean, everyone is unique” he said not quite sure how to process what she was saying, because of who they are deltan’s felt how unique every being was, he could not think of something that would cover. “Most people want Love?” he said not really sure of himself.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She bobbed her head back and forth. “Close. Individual desires can come and go, and are a little less universal. How about ‘Most people have the capacity for love’? Does that sound and feel true?” Leah said. There were always going to be exceptions, but they weren’t concerned with those here.

~Leah Hart, NP

He gave a nod, “I can agree with that” he said saying it again her way. he sat looking at her holding hands, “Ummm” he said. “I’m not allowed to love fully” he said softly, “Not while I’m in Starfleet.”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah nodded and a small thread of sadness wove through her expression and emotions. “I know. And that is a difficult fact to reconcile sometimes. You’ve been forced to make a choice. You have chosen to serve Starfleet and the Federation at a cost to something personal. And regardless of how it might feel some days, it is a choice, Zaril. Have you thought about what circumstances might make you reconsider that choice?”

~Leah Hart, NP

He looked at her tears starting to flow, she could feel the emotion pushing at her. “I never thought it would be this hard, I feel trapped and alone” he said looking down at his hand. “If I want to stay in Starfleet then I have to remain celibate, I’m aloud to love but no one wants love without.” his thumbs nervously danced on the back of her hands as he trailed off.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel