Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek (Communications Officer) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings
Posted by… suppressed (12) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Leah was quiet for a moment. “Well, baby steps I think are the best way to go. We’re not going to jump from one conversation and hanging out, to sharing all the deepest things inside of us. Nor is it a good idea to do so with people you just meet. You have to build rapport with them, trust. So, you had one positive social engagement. Let’s use that momentum. Are there others you can do something social with? Maybe a group activity? That way the focus won’t be on you alone .”

~Leah Hart, NP

He shrugged, “Probably? but I don’t have any group activities that I enjoy, I suppose if I was invited I would enjoy it but I don’t like inviting myself into others lives.” he said thinking for a moment. “Do you have anyideas?” he asked

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah gazed at him for a moment. “Do you see how that might be a self-fulfilling prophecy? You don’t want to impose on others, so you keep yourself away from them and opportunities to socialize in different ways. But then you’re waiting to be invited to something people don’t even know you want to be invited to.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He shrugged, “Maybe?” he noted. “In my culture if someone wants you to participate in an event or gathering, they will ask you, its not something that is easy for me to turn off. ” he note looking down. “It feals very wrong to me”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She nodded slowly. This was tricky. There was a balance between honouring one’s culture and being g open to the diversity around you. Being open to it allowed you to allow it to influence you. Some viewed as giving up on your own culture but Leah disagreed. “It’s not about setting aside your culture, Zaril. But you’re not new in Starfleet. And expecting everyone to know and understand that cultural nuance might be asking too much. Sometimes we have to be willing to teach others about the mores that guide and shape us.”

“What if you were to mention to people you work with and those your are meeting that Deltans just ask each other to participate in social events automatically, so if they are doing something you are open to the invite? Would that be a reasonable compromise?”

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril shrugged, it was not something he was comfortable doing, if he forced himself into someone else plans, he would know that they did not really want him there. “I guess it’s if they don’t really want me there, then I will know it and it becomes unbearably uncomfortable for everyone. ” he noted. “I don’t feel like it’s a good idea.” he suggested.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She tilted her head and frowned a little, trying to parse exactly what his concern was. His words did not exactly counter what she had said, and she felt like there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding here.

“You don’t think it’s a good idea to share with others how things work in Deltan society?”

~Leah Hart, NP

He shrugged, “It still feels like forcing myself on them, in our culture you want you ask or show” he noted, he thought about it. “I don’t know how to explain it” he said looking down. “I want them to want me there?” is all he could think of.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah listened and let the weight of his words settle over them. “What evidence do you have currently, not from previous postings, that they don’t want you there?” she asked with a soft voice.

~Leah Hart, NP

“Leah, I” he said pausing. “They did not invite me, they invited everyone else” he said it was always the same, he would force himself on the non deltan’s and they would feel awkward and uncomfortable, and the entire night would be hell for everyone involved he thought, better to avoid that.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She could only go with his words and body language, but Leah still felt there was more to it. “It can be so hard when we feel that we’re not wanted. It’s a biological need for many species to feel a part of their community. This is only more true for psi-positive species.”

Leah took a deep breath and found that calm centre that she needed before she reached out her hand to him. “Take my hand?” She was offering this time, and felt she could maintain the boundary now that they had a bit of space from her own drama.

~Leah Hart, NP

He looked at her hand, and took it. “It’s worse than that, back home we are always connected always feeling, it is a constant in our lives like breathing” he noted. he squeezed her hand lightly. “What would you like me to do?” he asked, letting a little of his loneliness slip out

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah steadied herself with the influx of emotion. She was here to bear witness to what he was going through while also helping him carve out a different story. “I want you to breathe, and repeat after me.”

“I cannot control the actions of others.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He was not sure where this was going but he liked the contact. “I cannot control the actions of others” he said, she could feel a little happiness his thumbs danced lightly, as he waited for more instruction. He knew that he could not control the actions of other but, he could feel them regardless. “I could show you what it feels like?” he mentioned.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah shook her head and kept her gaze on him, maintaining her focus and control. “I still need the boundaries right now and this isn’t about what you have known before, Zaril. This is about what you might need to cultivate going forward. So for the moment, I need you to trust me”-she shook their hands slightly, emphasizing the contact-“trust this and continue to repeat after me.”

“I can only control my own actions.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He repeated what she was saying, letting his emotions flow a little so she knew he was trying and not just playing along. “I can only control my own actions” he said again though that wasn’t exactly true with him, he could make them if he wanted but it was not the way he wanted to do things. It was splitting hairs really but it felt like he was lying to himself. Leah could quiet literally feel his mind wandering.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

The resistance and doubt seeped the the edge and Leah deep a steadying breath trying to draw him back to the present. “Help me find the words that would make the statement more true for you but still you and not what others are doing.” She could give him words, but if they weren’t going to help, then there was more point. It was better for him to find and state his own truth.

~Leah Hart, NP

“I’m sorry. my mind is getting stuck on little details, I can control what people feel, that is the issue both for me, and for them” he said with a slight pause, “I don’t know the right framing. I get what’s implied so maybe that is good enough, Déjalo estar no?”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

“Quizás si,” Leah replied. “I don’t want to ignore the influence you can have on others, Zaril. But it is important to remember that we are all sentient beings with free-will. Even if you were to exude influence, it would not be a constant thing. Just something to keep in mind as we go along.”

Giving their conjoined hands a shake, she took another steadying breath, clearing her mind to focus on him. “I am worthy of happiness and connection.”

~Leah Hart, NP

“I am worthy of happiness and connection.” that made sense to him, all people were that. It seemed right though and she could feel him settle into the feeling it brought, not a longing but and acceptance. He smiled warmly, “I like that” he said.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel