Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek (Communications Officer) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

He gave a slight nod, “Yeah maybe there were no expectations going in?” he said ” and we are supposed to get together on Friday to watch a couple halo movies he thinks I’ll like. ” he said deciding that he would wait to ask her about the embarrassment, she seemed to be relaxing a little and he did not want to take that from her.

“Leah, ¿te gustan las películas holográficas?” he asked his Spanish almost identical to her home dialect now very small nuances said it was not right but it was very very close now. (Leah, do you like holographic movies?) “He estado practicando tu dialecto nativo.” he noted. (I’ve been practicing your native dialect.)

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

“Si,” she said. Relaxing into her native speech, she let it flow as quickly as it often did. “I used to watch them with my friends back on Earth. I know they show some in the gym here some weeks. Haven’t made it to one yet, but I should!”

Leah grinned. “And your accent is very good. Most can’t hear the subtleties that make up my personal speech. You’ve probably be surprised by how different it can be even compared to my mother or sister.”

~Leah Hart, NP

“It’s the little subtleties that make it a challenge , learning a dialect is easy. making it sound authentic is where the skill comes in.” he said still in her native tongue, it almost seemed like he had corrected even a little more. “I should love to meet your family sometime, hearing different versions of the same dialect can really help the perfection of it.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Sometimes the trigger to a bomb was so subtle and so unseen that it snuck in like a delicate whisper. And sometimes you laid your own trap and failed to see it until it was too late.

Leah froze. It was not shock that swept over her, but a sort of visceral dread that you just couldn’t mask. Nor would she have been able to with Zaril either.

Very slowly, she leaned forward and set her mug on the table, breathing deeply to help ease the discomfort in her body. The problem was that she had already been highly emotional in the Galley, and so everything sat so much closer to the surface. Breathing out slowly, she looked up at Dovek and let him see the pain there. “You couldn’t know, so first off, don’t apologize, but second, no, I don’t think I’d like to introduce you to my family. At least not all of them. My abuela? She’s fantastic. Loveliest person you’ll ever meet. Full of energy and vibrancy. I feel so at ease and myself with her. But my mother and sister?” Leah shook her head. “I love my family, but I struggle to be around them and even trying to get them to understand why is a fight I am not willing to have. I’m just not that much of a masochist, I’m afraid.”

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril was having a great conversation and not really expected the reaction that came. His face revealed some shock but quickly settled to compassion. He subconsciously reached for her , to give her some comfort then remembered what she had said and pulled his hand back to his lap. “It saddens me for your grief and frustration. ” he noted expressing to her his empathy in words that he would normaly express through emotions. ” i should hope to.meet this abuela , she sounds like a joy to be around”.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

As he pulled his hand back, her heart sank. The position she was in was so precarious and it did feel like she had tossed out all the initial work they had done to build ease and comfort with each other. That wasn’t what she wanted. “She is a force of nature to be sure.”

Leah drew in a deep breath, letting it steady her before she spoke again. “Zaril…” Her words failed her and her emotions were still too close to the surface.

She bent forward, bracing her arms on her thighs, her eyes focused on her coffee cup as she tried to find the best way to proceed. “The one complication with having a very fluid therapeutic style where I adapt so much to the person I’m working with is that I allow myself to get closer to others than many other therapists might. There is a fine line we have to tread here and I feel like I’m failing at it today. That’s okay, if we can admit it and either figure out how to reset or just stop for today.”

Leah sat upright again. “I can’t be your friend in the same way when we’re in this room. But I understand that especially as we get to know one another, that there is a learning curve. This is your session, and I’m quite frankly doing you a disservice to continue as I am, this emotional, this…” She shook her head. “There are times and places for me to express my own feelings about my own situation, and even seek comfort if it’s needed, but it can’t be now. That’s not fair to you, even though I fully understand that you being in this with me is your way of being who you are.I’m note entirely sure what the right answer is, but I do know that if you want to keep going this morning, we have to shift something, because otherwise I’m going to be a useless mess.” She was okay being imperfect and messy, but it could not come at the expense of someone she was trying to help.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril listened to her intently, he let her get all that she needed to say out. He understood her thinking, but the sessions were manditory and he really did not need the session today. He had a good day and really was the happiest he had been in some time. She on the other hand was a bit of a mess today. He understood the need for for boundries and would respect them when it did not harm one of them..

When she was finished he opened his mouth. “I agree, that we need boundries, for our time in session and maybe this room is that line. ” he said shifting a little, “i had a good day im the happiest i have been in sometime, hopeful even. What you said about Juno wanting me to move on it resonated and so I found a friend, well two actually” he thought long and hard about what to do next. He stood, ” and i will respect that all starting tomorrow ” he said standing and walked around to her side kneeling at her feet. “Today,one of my new friends needs a friend not a patient. ” he looked at her for a moment, he placed his hands on hers. “Please let me help you even if its just to sit here holding your hands and sitting with you while you proccess. “

Confusion swept over her face he knelt before her, his words settling into her mind. Yes, they were friends- they had established that much. It had not been inevitable yesterday as they had learned what the path forward for him might look like. But Leah had felt that burgeoning connection and as he touched her hands, she felt it again. It was the reminder that someone else was there.

The emotions were neutral he was being carefull not to influence her. He sat with her hands in his kneeling next to her.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She breathed in, but that breathe caught in her throat. Before she knew it, her head bowed, shoulders rolling forward as that caught breath morphed into a chocked sob. Any one thing she could have dealt with. Maybe. But it was the series of hits that would not leave her alone.

Once she started sobbing, it just would not stop.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zairl knew from recend experience that some time one just needed to cry a hard uncontrolled cry, he was not one to just force someone into another emotional state, all emotions were valid and needed for harmony. Zaril felt the confusion and release of it all, he pulled his hands close to his chest, he soft heart beat rythemed against her hands, he laid his upper body across her lap, but very little weight was present. It was a submissive position, she could easily stand up or move if she wanted, or in this case easily lay across his shoulder and cry. She felt his own tears moisten her arm. “let it out, it’s ok” he said shielding himself from her feelings. “If you want me to join you squeeze my hands, I am here how ever you need me to be” he comforted.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah couldn’t have contained herself if she tried. She had let it all burst through the surface and there was no stuffing her emotions back down- at least not the way they had been before. Her forehead, so close to his shoulder now, came to rest in the nook he had offered. Her arms were folded across her chest and thus now resting more or less on her lap.

She cried. Minutes passed, but there was no clock to mark its passage. Leah didn’t take his hands, but with the physical contact, it was still an intimate sharing.

When at last she could draw in a deep breath and calm the sobs, the crying subsided. She didn’t move from her position, but she was taking measured breaths, trying to find some inner stillness before she worried about whatshe might say to him.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril just layed there allowing her to release what ever she needed, he would make Suttle motions a squeeze or a nudge with his head, soft barely noticeable but enough that she would know she was not alone. He had no words, he did not know what caused the tears she now shed, certainly it was more than just a few rude crew that was causing such a reaction. He waited for her to speak, he did not know enough to address the tears.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Finally, a sense of ease returned, and Leah lifted her head and sat back upright. Her eyes were red and swollen, but everything about her for the moment was calm. She drew in a breathe that filled her lungs and let her eyes settle on Zaril. She didn’t apologize, despite an instant desire to do so. “I explained that my relationship with my family is complicated, but I do speak with them fairly regularly. I try not to share anything deeply personal that might be twisted and used against me later, but there was one night about a year ago when I was still on Earth where I told my sister about a relationship I was in. Normally I never share anything like that with her, because I know it will get back to my mother and I don’t need that extra pressure.”

Leah sat back in her chair and reached for her now lukewarm coffee. She drank it more to steady herself than a need to consume the beverage. “Anabel means well. She doesn’t see or understand how her actions sometimes play right into how my mother treats me, so most of the time I just let things be. But this time?” She shook he head, acknowledge a thread of discomfort that wound its way through her. “She knew about Daro, that we were together. When she called me after I got to the Sentinel she asked how Daro felt about my new assignment. I told her we were no longer together. She doesn’t know why we broke up. If she had, maybe she wouldn’t have shared anything about me with him, but according to Daro, he found out where I was and that I’d be on Risa from Anabel.” She didn’t feel like she was going to cry again, but definitely her emotions were still closer to the surface than she’d prefer. “I suppose I will need to call her and we’ll have to talk about it, but I’m not ready yet. I’m not entirely sure what to do with the information in light of everything else. It’s just… a lot right now.”

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril listend intently as she talked through her situation, reaching for his water he took a long sip. His eyes looked at her with compassion he shift back up off his knees and into the sat next too her. “That sounds like a very difficult situations, from what you see your sister meant well but cause some sort of problem for you with your ex. He searched her for the truth of it, something about the way she addressed her ex and why would it have been a catastrophic thing. “I am sorry that you have to go through such a thing, Risa you say, wasn’t that where they transported you in from to medical? ” he asked. “Were you injured because of him?” he asked he had felt the discomfort at her mention of his name.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel