Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek (Communications Officer) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Side-Sim: When thoughts meet feelings

(snip)

Zaril smiled at her, his eyes creased in agreement, “mmm, one step at a time, one interaction at a time, I can deal with slow” he said taking a long draw on his drink. She did not seem to want to talk about her self, though it was clear there was something a miss. He was about to tell her that mark was going to have him over for poker, which Zaril told him would not be fair for them. He, however, had become suddenly aware of the people in the room and felt like maybe they were watching him. “Now that you have your coffee, would you prefer to walk. ” he asked her his eyes shifting softer smile.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She sipped her coffee and gave a half-shrug. “I’m game to head back to my office if you are. And you can tell me more about this interaction with the biologist you had.”

Rising to her feet, the whispering behind her stopped. Leah turned in that direction, her brown eyes all but glaring at a couple ensigns that she recognized at Rebecca Lynch and Daniel Carrington. They diverted their gazes, embarrassment rolling off them at being caught. “Got something to say?” Leah said, her tone sharp, commanding, anger brewing under the surface.

Carrington looked up sheepishly. “No, ma’am.”

“Lynch?” Leah said, planting a hand on her hip.

Rebecca shook her head.

“Fantastic. Now that we’ve established there’s nothing to talk about, how about you respect my privacy? It might be a surprise, but most people don’t like being the object of gossip.” Her voice had risen in timbre and volume. “And I get that it’s all salacious and shocking, but I’m not interested in having a sharing circle, so everyone can butt out of my business. Feel free to spread the word so I don’t have to give this lecture more than once. Got it? Good!”

Zaril knew how she felt at least in spirit he had often been the subject of gossip. He had never had the courage to confront it in such a mannor.manner.

Leah turned, grabbed her coffee (nearly spilling and muttered, “Come on,” to Zaril before storming towards the door.

Zairl smiled as they walked down the hall, “are you ok?” He asked holding out his hand to her if she wanted to be calmed. It was customary for deltans to share good and bad feelings.

~Leah Hart, NP

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah never lost her temper with her crew mates. At least not in that way. Oh, she could vent with the best of them, but she was always utterly professional, unless being confrontational was somehow helpful to her patients.

The loss of control bothered her, but she could not set aside the seething anger. It wasn’t just the gossip, it was.... everything. Zaril couldn’t fix that. What was done was done, even if the fallout was still unravelling slower than a finely knit blanket with a snag. “No, Zaril, I’m not okay. But right now, I’d just like to get back to my office while my coffee is still hot.” There, at least she was being honest.

She didn’t stop walking, nor did she take is hand. In this moment she didn’t want to be comforted, but she understood if that was confusing.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril followed her back into the cozy space and sat down, he looked at her keeping his own feeling neutral. “I hope I did not offend you by offering my hand” he stated. “Deltan’s share our feelings, its the main thing we do. I did not mean to offend. ” he said after the door was closed.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah took a moment and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the cup in hand and allowed it to centre her. When she opened her eyes, the anger was gone, tucked away neatly. “You didn’t offend me,” she said, moving back to her chair. She set the coffee on the little table and crossed her legs.

“It was simply that I didn’t want to sahre my anger in that moment. It’s mine and I have a right to it. It’s been hard for people to understand because they are used to a certain version of Leah Hart, the mental health professional. Some are used to the fun loving woman who dances, but the other sides they are seeing are uncomfortable, confusing. They don’t fit their version of me in their heads.” She shrugged one shoulder. “Was it the right response in the galley? Maybe not. I’m not sure. And I appreciate your reaching out, but there are some things people can’t carry alongside me. It just… doesn’t work that way.”

~Leah Hart, NP

His head dipped in a subtle understanding in her need for privacy or maybe it was a need to own whay she felt and not have to share it openly with the entire crew. He could not place it.

“I guess that is why life is ” he tried to find the right words but they never seemed enough. “Difficult amoung the other races. You all hide in your feelings where deltans we share everything with those we love and care for. Truly carrying eachother joy, and burdens. ” he said not directed at her but in an attempt to grasp what he meant. “It is one thing for me to sit here and acknowledge the struggle you are facing.” He spoke now directed at them. “It is a completly different thing for me to experience everything you are feeling, so clearly and for you to know someone completly understood ” he looked at the ground.. “it is liberating in a way that can’t be put into words.”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel