Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Checking in with Medical

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek (Communications Officer) in Checking in with Medical

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Leah Hart (Nurse Practitioner/Counseling) in Checking in with Medical
Posted by… suppressed (18) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Kreed went to the med dispenser and loaded a hypospray. He handed it to Dovek and said “Emergency suppressant. It is more powerful than a maintenance dose. This will make you slightly nauseated and give you a headache; but it will stop any effects on others should you find yourself in a compromised emotional state. With that, you are now cleared for duty, Lieutenant. Welcome aboard.”

Kreed, CMO
Zaril gave a small nod, “I look forward to working with you” he said then looked to Heart, “lead the way” he said smiling

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah gave Kreed a small smile and moved off. She led Zaril through Sickbay and out into the corridor. “The ship really isn’t set up for sessions, but we’ve made it work.” She led him a short ways to a door that had previously been to a storage room. Hart entered in her code and the door slipped open. The lights flicked on, casting light at 80% normal, feeling more relaxing than the full bright light would have been in such a small space.

He followed her down the halls not really wanting to have the hard conversations he was going to have to have with her in the next few minutes. His spirit sunk but he managed to keep the calm projection up masking what was really going on. “I’m sure it will be fine, so long as we can talk in private. ” he noted, watching her, she carried herself well.

She didn’t have room for much but there were soft armchairs in a dark green that were set at a ninety degree to each other and before a small and low wood table. Leah had affixed a cloth to the wall with magnetic hangers and the fabric depicted a window overlooking a simple green field on a sunny day.

Opposite the chairs and next to the door was an art piece made of mosaic tiles that had a variety of patterns. They were arranged in a gradient of colour to evoke a tree.

“Have a seat, Zaril, and make yourself at home. I’d offer you something to drink but alas that’s harder here,” she said with a grin as she sat in one of the chairs.

” Thank you Lieutenant, this space is more than adequate, you have made it feel, safe and inviting” he said as he slid down into the seat. “As to the beverage, I’m ok thank you.”

She crossed one leg over her opposite knee and rested her arms on the sides of the chair. “So, I think it’s really important that we establish any expectations and boundaries. This isn’t about rules or anything, but about what you need out of these sessions, what you’re hoping to get out of the time we spend together.” Her voice was calm and soothing, with just that slight hint of her Spanish accent.

~Leah Hart, NP

He thought about it, he wanted to not feel so alone all the time, the only person who understood him, was gone. “Other than the Starfleet requirements I mentioned earlier, I’m dealing with a lot of grief right now which is very difficult becauses I have to do it alone.” he said looking down, the mood in the room shifted from calm to very sad and alone. “When I think or talk about it to much” he stopped, catching himself and restoring the calm atmosphere.

Leah nodded slowly, her gaze warm and attentive.

He did not know if he could trust her yet and talk about what had really occurred on the Lexington, or that starfleet covered it up because they needed his linguistic skills and felt it was an isolated incident. He was not sure it was. “My expectations, I don’t know that I know entirely”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

“That’s okay. Sometimes we need to take a moment to really figure that out. But perhaps we can come at it from a different angle. “If you could have any outcome out of these sessions, what would you want? In a similar vein, what is it do you think you need most in order to be here talking about your struggles.” She could tell he was holding back the depth of pain he was in and that was expected under the circumstances. She intended to find a middle ground that wouldn’t make him uncomfortable opening up and still have her be able to help him dig deeper so that he might find some healing and peace.

~Leah Hart, NP

He looked at her she was nice. It was hard to explain to someone who did not feel the way he did. The way deltans do. “I want to grieve , and I do but im always alone, no one can grieve with me, if I were to open completely, and grieve the way I need to. You would be in a ball on the floor” he said plainly. She could feel the sorrow starting to fill her, deep deep regreat and guilt began so tingle her emotional state. “Im just so lonely” he said. She started to feel that too. The feeling of being present around many and being in an empty black space. He looked up realizing that he was sinking, he pulled himself together.. “sorry”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She certainly felt the emotions, and yes she was Human, but there were other variables that others might not factor in. “It’s okay, no need to apologize, truly.” Leah leaned forward, meeting his gaze. “There are some things about me that you need to understand and perhaps once you do, we can work together to find the best way forward.”

She gave a warm and comforting smile. “I started out as an ER nurse and eventually joined Starfleet and became a nurse practitioner specializing in mental health. This is my first starship assignment. Previously, I’ve spent all my time at Starfleet Medical working on the psychiatry ward. On a daily basis I evaluated patients that came in to see if they had need of extra mental health support, and the rest of the time I worked with long-term patients with severe trauma or other mental health issues that prevented them from being on duty.”

“And yes, I am Human, but I was born and raised on Aldebaran Three, which has a higher gravity and thus some aspects of my physiology are a bit different. When you combine that with the intense meditation training I did with a intense mental focus Vulcan early in my Starfleet training, I am more… resilient, perhaps, to your influence, though that is mostly true if I have time to prepare myself. I think you’ll find that if I do certain preparations before our sessions, I will be less reactive to your emotions.

“And furthermore,” Hart continued, “I have a different philosophy than many of my colleagues do when it comes to working with non-Human patients.” Her smile was radiant and the underlying feeling she exuded was one of passionate belief. “My research, that is ongoing, is examining how a person’s culture and biology can help provide important clues as to the best way to improve and support mental health. Yes, Starfleet has rules you have to abide by, and yes, there are boundaries we need to have, but I’m not going to treat you as a Human, Zaril. You are Deltan,”-she leaned forward a little more-“and I’m going to approach all of this keeping that in mind. I’m not going to ask you to be something you are not. You feel grief, and loneliness. So what if I can feel a bit of that? If I were of an empathic species, it would be normal, yes? From my perspective, getting to feel what you’re feeling right now, even a little, if a beautiful gift you’re giving me and I am honoured by it. Truly! So screw what everyone else has told you and forced you to beleive. You and I are going to carve a new path forward that works for you and still maintains the obligations you’ve committed yourself to. And no, I normally don’t talk this much right from the start.” She shook her head with a little smirk, murmuring, “Dios mio.” She could get rather worked up at times, but she was passionate about her work and making sure people got what they actually needed and not what others thought they needed.

~Leah Hart, NP

He sat patiently listening to her, composing himself as she did. He loved her spunk, her desire to help him seemed genuine, but like all humans, they could not truly understand how completely deltans felt, how powerfully overwealming those emotions would be for her.

It had been the same way for Juno, she had begged him to show her how he felt for her, she avoided him for almost a week, until she returned and said she felt the same. It had overwealmed her, brought new meaning to what love meant to her.

“Lieutenant, you are truly a compassionate woman, and i wish I could share even half of what I feel with you, if I release too much it could hurt you badly or worse.” He said smiling at her only.calm. “Being an empath or telapath helps , but only a little. There is only one race”, he said not wanting to reveal the other to a human.”That is immune, im afraid to morn fully with anyone i would have to find another deltan or go home”. He said lowering his eyes. “If it’s helps you understand i can share so you understand but it will never be much more than surface feelings”

He was not sure if he should say the next piece but ,he did not want to start his relationship with his counselor with a lie. “Im even rare amongst deltans, under extreme feelings beyond anything I would normally feel my emotion will project hundreds of feet beyond my sight.” He said with a sigh. “So you see im scared ti grieve fully”.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Her expression was rank. “You’re right. I don’t know what it is like to be Deltan, nor what it is like to project my feelings so far and deeply that I become afraid to be fully who I am around everyone else. But here’s the thing Zaril, I don’t need to. Because I, personally, do know intense grief. I know how it can rob of us of joy and passion. I know how it can drive us in directions we’re not expecting, I know how the universe can feel empty and dull. It can be all of this all at once. Or other this entirely. And it rarely proceeds in a neat and orderly fashion. Grief is hard and does not follow rules.” And she did know all this. The echo of it still lay within in but the intensity of that time had faded after she had got some modicum of closure.

“I’m not sure testing my resilience to your projections is what we need to do yet, at least today, but I have some ideas about things we can try to help you find a path to process the death of someone you loved.” Leah kept her gaze fixed on Zaril. “But before we do anything, we need to know what we’re working towards. I don’t believe in aimless and endless therapy. And what I want for you is not as important as what you want for yourself. So I’m going to ask a question and I’d like you to take some time right now to think about what the answer might be, okay?”

“When you joined Starfleet, what did you envision for your life? How did you see things going? And are those things still valid, are they still what you want, or have they changed?”

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril leaned back and contemplated for a minute. He had joined Starfleet to interact with the other races to explore and learn languages and learn what other races experienced. So he took the oath and joined. Then Juno died and now he was not sure, he lost so much time with her, things he could have done had the oath not been in place. And now he would never get the chance. He sat looking at the woman in front of her, wondering who she had lost, feeling some compassion for her.

“I joined starfleet to meet and experience other races, to live among them and learn their culture and languages. ” he said. “I thought the Oath was a small price to pay for everything else I would experience after all I would not be in Starfleet for ever. ” he looked at her his emotions neutral.

“Now, I don’t know what I want. I feel like I wasted so much with Juno, I don’t really know what I want” he said

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Her smile was soft and genuine. “It’s okay to not know what you want, Zaril. ” Then she switched from Federation Standard to speaking Spanish., her accent becoming stronger, more distinct. “Sometimes, it’s just as useful to know what you don’t want. What don’t you want in your life right now. Don’t worry about before for now. Let’s just focus on the present moment.”

~Leah Hart, NP

He tilted his head slightly as she switched languages, he listened to every tone that came out, he spoke most the earth dialect of Spanish, this was different, but he picked up on the differences quickly, it was a gift. It almost sounded like he grew up with her the way his accent mimicked her own though he added what he expected the male cultural overtones might sound like. “Spanish, I did not know you were multi ligulae” he said smiling. He was passionate about language it was something he found refuge in. “I not really know that either, other than I feel so lonely all the time.”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

She continued in Spanish, and the more he listened, the more he’d pick up that she was speaking the Andalusian dialect from Spain, mixed here and there were Basque words and overlaid with that was a casual shift in grammar that was influenced from somewhere else. “I speak a few languages, but Spanish is my mother tongue. I also speak fluent French on top of the Federation Standard you’ve heard me primarily speak. But I also am somewhat decent at the primary dialect of Vulcan, but I wouldn’t say I am fluent.”

He looked at her,”Perhaps I can help you perfect your Vulcan?” Is said in Vulcan.

Leah’s eyes lit up. “I would like that.” Her pronunciation wasn’t perfect but decent.

Leah smiled softly. “Loneliness can come from many things and the solutions can be just as varied. In order for me to help you I need to understand your loneliness and how you see its origin. Is it simply that the oath made to Starfleet is too broad, too difficult for you as a Deltan person to live by? Is it more than that? Help me understand.” Her tone was soothing and she radiated genuine interest in him and helping him. In fact he’d detect a rather fierce determination layered under the surface calm.

~Leah Hart, NP
Zaril smiled at h
It was a hard question, one that ,he was not sure how to answer . “Im celibate I can have close relationships, its just that one of two things always occurs, they leave because they want more, or they find someone and the friendship dies, when Im in the mess or public areas people tend to avoid me” he said. “Im surrounded by hundreds of people and I feel them” he said. ” you are extremely determined to help me right now, I thank you for that” he looked away to nothing. ” im just lonely, Juno and I were very close, we shared everything we were allowed too, we stayed with each other most nights.” He said, she could feel the calm comming off of him like water hiting a beach, but tears were running down his face”

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah possessed great empathy for people and she wasn’t afraid to show them just that. So for a moment she just sat with him in the sadness that run like an undercurrent beneath the calm he was intentionally projecting.

She switched back to Fed Standard “Now, I’m not an expert on Deltans, as I have said , now will I try to say I understand the kind of connection you need deep down and have to force yourself not to have. But I do understand people quite well.”

Leah was quiet for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “Zaril, there are many ways to forge connections. Many ways and layers of depth they can have. You had something special with Juno and it hurts to not have that now. That’s okay. It’s okay to feel grief and want nothing more than to have that back. But rather than looking for something to fill that void, what if you were to seek out connections that were different? You said that people leave or find partners they can have that next step with. You have committed to Starfleet and sworn an oath. Is it possible you are lonely because you want to have what you cannot and this can’t accept anything that might seem lesser?”

~Leah Hart, NP
He looked at her, she was certainly determined she would need that with him. “I had not really thought about that much, while I do miss the pleasures of home, the kind of connection Juno and I felt as intense enough to satisfy more than both our needs,” he paused trying to figure out how to explain, being with a deltan was intense even with out breaking the oath. “I will admit that I was looking forward to when we both retired and could peruse that aspect of the relationship” he noted, they only way she was ever going to understand was to show her, he was well in control at the moment. “I’m under good control as you noticed earlier, Think of the safest you have ever felt” he said then held out his hand palm up.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Her idea of safety was probably not what most would imagine. For Leah, her home life had had her feeling like she was stepping on eggshells constantly, so most of the time she felt her best when she was elsewhere doing something she loved. There were moments with her father that made her feel safe, but if she were honest with herself (and Zaril needed her honesty right now), she felt safest when she felt free to be herself, and she had never felt more herself then when she was dancing. She imagined one of the many competitions she had done and brought to mind a contemporary routine her and one of her dance partners, Mia Heurta, had done. It was intense and provocative, but also beautiful. It had filled her heart with joy and a certainty that nothing could be better than flying through the air as a result of the exertion from your own body.

She wanted him to know she trusted him, she Leah held the feelings from her memory in her mind as she reached out and placed her hands against Zaril’s.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril sucked in a small breath as she touched his skin, he could feel the memory everything she felts everything as it was maybe even past what she remembered. He felt something sensual, he would be careful and not intensify that much, joy, freedom some exertion and wind a turning. He took what she was feeling and slowly increased it. At first the feeling of the memory just clarified, then she was feeling it as if she were dancing with the emotions now. He smiled warmly trying not to intensify the sensual nature of it leaving it as a lower feeling that he would only intensify enough for here to feel it a little more,

It doubled now, the intensity of hit was a surreal it was as if her every feeling just felt far more real that it had in the past. “Are you ok,” he asked, “Shall I continue” he asked softly.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

It was all so sharp and it was easy to be lost in the details, the feelings. Closing her eyes, Leah smiled. “Yes, I’m okay. Let me show you the rest.” How strange that she could remember this routine so precisely. She had danced so many of them, after all. But Mia and her danced for four years together and this routine was how they had come together as dance partners for ballroom. They had been fifteen, but like Leah herself, Mia was more mature than one might think for a fifteen year old. Yes, there was a sensual component to their dancing, but it was born more of a confidence in how they moved in their bodies through the world, rather than any sort of hormonal teenage lust.

Zaril felt the more sensuality and let it rest softly with the other, but it was more it was trust, a confidence or knowing of someone, he focused there and added it to the rest, slowly he increased it so that it present with the other emotions, the feel of it was wonderful, he himself had not felt this good in some time, it was refreshing.

Leah, though shorter, was more muscular, and at the end took the momentum of Mia’s leap to catch her and spin them both across the entire dance floor. It should have made them dizzy and it might have seemed that way as Mia tumbled from Leah’s arms, their hands connected. But it was all perfectly controlled as Mia lay on the ground and her fingers slipped so delicately out of Leah’s hand that it felt sad in a way someone might not think teenagers could tap into.

He recognized the sad feeling something pure and lost, he did not want to compromise the feeling so he let it rest with the others.

Opening her eyes, Leah was emotional, yes, but in control still. She smiled, even as her eyes glistened. “We danced that at a big competition and won. It was one of the few awards I got from contemporary, since my focus was elsewhere. But the girl I danced with, Mia, she…” Leah shrugged. “Got me. Allowed me to dance the things I couldn’t speak. She taught me to tap into it all and ultimately made me a better dancer. Less technical, more heart,” she said, breaking a smirk at the intentional play on words.

~Leah Hart, NP
He nodded as he felt the purity of knowing someone else, that feeling he had had with Juno, he smiled and brought that feeling to the top and intensified it, the knowing and being known, doubled, tripled, quadrupled it. It was permeating her now, her entire nervous system beating with it, she could smell her, feel her, her body pulsed with the feeling of being known. He looked deep in her eyes, they seemed to dance into her own thoughts twisting and melding with her. His eyes then closed, “This is a nice feeling, it’s such an intense emotion, what you are feeling now, is a 10th of what I’m feeling and it is welcome ” he paused. Every fiber of her felt known, seen by Mia, and now by him, he understood her, felt. her. “I can give you more if you think you can handle it, I’m enjoying this feeling” he said he was still in control.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel

Leah had no been fully prepared for this turn of events, as she had mentioned she would need. So she shook her head. “No, not more, but this same level if a good place for me today. Let’s not push it too far without any preparations.” She smiled at him half-lidded as she remembered the deep friendship that did turn romantic. It had added an intensity to their ballroom dancing and that made their routines even better.

“As you wish” he said his thumb slowly stroked the top of her hand as he let the feelings linger and dance around them.

There was something beyond intimate about sharing her memories this way, but Leah was not embarrassed, nor did she think it tainted the therapeutic relationship. In fact, Leah had known that she would need to approach Zaril’s situation in a vastly different way and be open to unorthodox methods. Then again, this was nothing new to her- she was known for doing the unexpected as a therapist (much to the chagrin of many of more traditional supervisors).

To demonstrate that she wasn’t pulling back from this exchange and connection, she let him see a simple moment with Mia in their last year of dancing together. It was. sunny day and they were lying on a blanket on the grass in Mia’s backyard. Alone, they she curled up together, hands entwined, with Leah’s head resting against Mia’s shoulder. It was a simple and serene moment.

~Leah Hart, NP

Zaril latched onto the memory and brought the feeling of it up to level, he smiled as the feeling washed over him, it was the feeling that he and Juno shared every night, he pushed his experience with Juno back her direction, it was the same , but different it did not clarify her own memory. “How Juno and I felt” he said. A minuted passed maybe two, the Zarik began to feel sad, the sadness was light for him but washed in at the same level everything else was. He gained control of himself and released the connection. Her own hormones and pulse still firing. 10% was all she could think of when she felt the sorrow, “I’m sorry it’s to close to home. He touched her a gain for a moment and worked to regulate her back down as best as he could.

Lieutenant Junior Grade Zaril Dovek
Communication Officer U.S.S Sentinel