Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Head Case

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Head Case

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Head Case
Posted by… suppressed (20) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Rand was laying down on the bed, twitching and moaning slightly. She seemed to be having another night terror. She had one hand folded back over her neck holding an ice pack to her head. She hadn’t meant to doze off, but once the ice started working she’d drifted off. She hated falling asleep when she was alone. The night terrors never seemed to stop and left her confused, disoriented, and woke her with a racing heart and a cold sweat. She could never remember the dreams though.

Roman knew she had been having the nightmares since her second night out of sickbay. There wasn’t much he could do. He did the same things for her she usually did for him, hugging her or rubbing her arms, or sometimes talking softly to her. It was nearing the worst time of year for Roman, and his own nightmares were getting worse, but he was trying to get enough sleep anyway, so he could help her.

Pipkin was on the bed, settled down next to her. When the door opened the little bunny looked up and then hoped to the end of the bed towards him.

Rand

When Roman entered their quarters and saw her, he gave Pipkin a little bit of quick pet and then lay down next to Rand, gently hugging her. She never remembered the dreams, so he didn’t know what they were about, but he did know how it made her feel so he’d stay there with her until she woke up and felt better.

~ Roman

Rand settled once he hugged her. However, half an hour later she woke, sitting straight up a scream strangled in her throat. She stared down at her hands, not seeing what she expected, but not sure what she thought she would see. She rocked back and forth, gasping slightly before beginning to cry silently. If asked, she had no idea why she was crying or what had woken her up.

Rand

Roman was just about asleep (at last) when she woke. He sat up and hugged her tightly, not saying anything, just letting her cry and waiting. He had asked her the first few times, by now he knew she didn’t know. The only thing he could do was comfort her and wait, so that was what he did.

~ Roman

Rand turned into him, crying against his shoulder. The initial upset and disorientation didn’t really last long once she knew she was awake and where she was. It was the inability to figure out what she was remembering in her sleep that took longer. Then the cold chills and racing heart that took the longest. Rand hated she’d woken Roman again. She knew there was something important she was forgetting (two days ago she remembered) for Roman. Right then she just hated she was keeping him awake. He was far too busy to have to deal with her night terrors.

It only took a few minutes for her to calm down enough to lay back. She tucked in close, still shivering, but would normally fall back asleep. “Mmm…may…maybe I should stay with Randy?” It was not what Rand wanted. She swallowed hard against fresh tears, but he needed sleep and rest. He needed to focus on the ship and his duties, not her. She felt like it was never going to end…

Rand

Roman pulled her in close against his chest, keeping his arms tightly around her as they lay back down. At her suggestion he squeezed her a little and shook his head. “No! I-I can’t sleep without you here. Besides, I’d rather be there with you when it happens.” His nightmares would be worse without her there. He didn’t want that. It would probably end up being worse than her waking him up. “So go back to sleep, okay?” He said, looking down at her.

~ Roman

There was nothing to do, but go back to sleep as he asked. She didn’t want to go stay with Randy. That was selfish though. She couldn’t imagine Roman’s sleep would be worse with her gone. Quietly she laid there, unable to fall back asleep. Perhaps that was just as well, she wouldn’t wake him up again. If he didn’t get sleep it would be like before. His reports would get messed up, small mistakes that added up, and Randy may not catch them. Except this time it would be her fault and not the Ardent. The Ardent....realization came slowly, but clearly. What she was supposed to remember. The anniversary of the Ardent was soon. Rand wrapped her arms around him as he slept and held on tightly. No, she couldn’t leave him alone now. She would…have to try and stay awake, so she didn’t disturb him so she could stay while he tried to sleep. Roman was more important.

Rand

It took over forty minutes for him to fall asleep. As he did he cuddled into her, his arms loosely around her. It was three hours later he started to twitch and whimper in his sleep, rolling over in her arms. It wasn’t a surprise he was having a nightmare, they’d been getting worse the last week or so. When he finally woke up from it, he rolled back into her and hugged her tightly. He’d noticed she was awake, and he hoped he hadn’t woken her. Lack of sleep would be bad for her concussion. She needed that rest, even more so with it being interrupted by her own bad dreams.

~ Roman

Rand hugged him, whispered to him, rubbed his arms. Nothing seemed to help. Shouldn’t, after all this time, she know at least one way to help him? Some way to make it not so bad? For at least one night couldn’t she find a way to be enough to keep the nightmares away? She hugged him tighter, she couldn’t keep her own away how was she going to help Roman?

Maybe that was the problem, her own reminded him of his and so made it worse? When the alarm went off she got up. She had no where to go and nothing to do, but despite exhaustion still she got up.

Rand

The alarm went off too soon for Roman and he woke groggy and tired. He got up and got ready for his duty shift, changing in the bathroom. The antibiotics had cured his infection and his burn had been healed since the day after Rand was released from sickbay, however the wound had left a scar about the same size as the burn on his chest from the Ardent, so Roman was careful to change in the bathroom because Rand would surely notice.

While Roman showered and changed, Rand made tea. It was familiar and comforting. She was careful and meticulous. Her hands and arms didn’t shake so much anymore, now that the burns had healed. Yet she was still careful not to spill the hot water or knock the cup over. She managed to make it correctly that morning. Just enough cream and honey. Then she got dressed. She would have to have her uniforms cleaned because with any luck she’d get to go back to work in a week.

Roman came out of the bathroom freshly showered with a new uniform, hugged Rand and gave her a quick kiss. “Do you want to get breakfast?”

~ Roman

The kiss was over far too quickly for Rand. She didn’t protest or say anything about it though. Maybe Gorshin would let her help again today, or Randy would let her tag along as he did her job. She really wasn’t in the mood to eat, but she nodded anyway, and handed him the mug of tea. “I’ll go with you.”

Rand

Roman smiled as he took the tea and then tasted it. It was perfect. Down in the galley like he always had since she was hurt he made her go pick a seat while he got food for both of them and sat down with it. “I’m going to be busy today. Might miss lunch.” He commented. There were a lot of things he’d been putting off that needed doing.

~ Roman

Rand sat at their usual table and waited. She drank plenty, which was good. She moved the food around enough to appear like she was eating, but she just wasn’t hungry. She only managed a couple of bites before she gave up the pretense. She smiled slightly. “That’s okay. I’ll be alright. I can manage…?” The last part sounded more like a question than a statement. She took a long breath, yes she could manage. She wasn’t an invalid and she knew not to go wondering. She had to figure everything out again, and she wasn’t as confused as she had been. Roman had to work and she had to prove she could go back to work. “I’ll be okay on my own. Maybe Randy will give me the old reports to read over so I’m not so far behind when I go back to work.”

Rand

“I’d be there if I could,” Roman said with a little sigh. “But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He’d eaten about half of his own food. His appetite had come back about two or three days after he went off the antibiotics, but his nightmares always made it disappear too. Then he grumbled something about Randy’s nursing being better than his yeoman skills and said, “I hope you’ll be back at work soon.”

~ Roman

Rand smiled, but looked a little melancholy. “I know you would be.” She pushed her plate away, untouched. She grinned as he complained about Randy but seriously asked, “Is he not helping? He’s supposed to be helping not giving people problems.” She sighed, twisting her glass this way and that. “I want to go back to work. But…what…” What if she wasn’t as useful as she was, what if she couldn’t remember things? Instead she said, “What if Randy has made a mess and I can’t get caught up?”

Rand

Roman glanced at the untouched plate and then Rand. “Aren’t you hungry? Should I get Randy?” Then he chuckled and shook his head. “He hasn’t made a mess. And he is helping. He’s just… not you.” He said with a sigh. That and with Randy as yeoman, they were getting along like they had when Randy had been his yeoman, trainning under Rand, which was… not perfectly. Of course, now-a-days some of Randy’s head-butting with him came from a place of care, but sometimes Randy still drove him up the wall.

~ Roman

A soul weary sigh drooped her shoulders. “No…no Randy. I…I’m just not hungry.” The really bad night terrors upset her stomach. That morning was particularly bad. She remembered…some of it. Screams and the klaxons, and light. A lot of light. The light terrified her. She didn’t want to say anything because she wasn’t sure she could remember more. She didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Least of all hers. So she smiled at him for the compliment. “It was never his forte. I don’t know why he did it, joined the yeoman corp. He was doing such good work.” The truth was Randy did it for her, and Rand suspected but Randy never said it to her. He’d mentioned it to Roman and Tracy but never Rand. “Thank you. I miss working, being useful. Sometimes I think it will help and others....that…that I’ll just mess up. Forget everything.”

Rand

Roman hid a bit of a smile. Randy would do anything for her and apparently she wasn’t aware that was one of the things he’d done for her. “He somehow knew that he’d get to be a thorn in my side if he did?” Roman said jokingly. Then he turned more serious and shook his head. “I can’t say you won’t mess anything up when you first get back but Miranda, no one can do that job like you do it. Even if you’re not quite like you were before, not right away, you’ll be helping.”

~ Roman

She laughed, something she hadn’t done a lot of since the explosion. More because it hurt her head, but it felt good to laugh. She knew Roman and Randy didn’t always get a long, but she suspected they liked each other more than they let on. She also knew they liked to irritate each other.

She fidgeted with her glass a little, Roman’s reassurance helping. She needed to believe it, to believe she could still help, still be useful. That no matter how long it took to get back to normal, even a little bit made a difference. It was too disconcerting to think she couldn’t do her job, that she wasn’t useful. “Thank you,” she murmured softly. She made a decision. Instead of wallowing in their quarters she would do something, anything. “I…I think I’ll stay and help Gorshin a little.”

Rand

Roman smiled when she laughed and then nodded when she said she’d help Gorshin with the kitchen. He took care of their trays and then came back and sat down. “I think that’s a good idea. Comm me if you need anything and I’ll try to find time to come check on you.”

~ Roman

Rand nodded, moistening her mouth that felt dry. Anxiety most likely. She reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “You…you don’t have to. Check on me, that is. I know you’re busy. It’s important…I…I won’t complain if you do…I mean…I’d like it if you did, but....we can’t…you can’t…you have a duty to the ship.” Oh she was botching everything she was saying. Surely Roman must think she was confused again. She had no idea why she felt nervous and shy. Maybe because she didn’t sleep? Or just anxiety over getting to go back to work. She did like that he checked on her. It made her feel secure, cherished even. But duty had to come first, everyone was watching them, judging them. She didn’t want to be transferred.

Rand

He worried she was confused but to Roman she sounded like she knew what she was saying she was just anxious. He squeezed her hand back and smiled. “I wouldn’t abandon my duties, you know that. But if I can find a few minutes, then I will.”

~ Roman

Rand squeezed his hand one more time, “Okay.” After he left she moved behind the counter to help Gorshin. She stayed for a couple of hours until Gorshin made her stop. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, nor hurt herself, but he could tell she was tired and he was afraid she might hurt herself when chopping or drop something on herself. He offered to call Alden or Randy but she asked him not to. It was quiet so he walked her back to her quarters himself. Rand did not rest but instead sat at the computer reading anything she was allowed access to while on medical leave. Making notes of things to follow up on and things that needed fixing. She gave herself a slight headache staring at the screen so long.

Gorshin passed Randy on the way back and told him about Rand. Randy was making a stop in the lab to drop off a stack of finished reports and told Roman, so he would know.

Rand

Roman was as busy as he thought he’d be. He didn’t end up having time to do anything but work. He did appreciate Randy telling him about Rand. Shortly after Randy visited Roman left the lab to do XO-ly stuff and then was back in the lab, mostly doing the reports Randy had brought him. He missed lunch, and by the time it was 1700, time for him to be off shift he was still doing the lab related stuff he liked doing.

~ Roman

Rand skipped lunch. She still wasn’t hungry, and her self induced headache only made her stomach more uneasy. Randy spent some time with Rand after lunch having her help with some of the easier tasks and errands. They spent a couple of hours just going over old reports and trying to get Rand caught up, but it would take a few days. And Randy wasn’t sure she would remember it all the way she used to.

At 1700 Rand was expecting Roman but when he didn’t arrive she figured he was working still. Normally she would go find him, but she wasn’t supposed to go wander alone. She didn’t want him to stop working for her. Instead she took a shower, taking quite awhile to carefully wash her hair. Her head was still sore if she wasn’t careful. She sat on the bed, Pipkin in her lap as she slowly brushed her hair. She started to doze off once, and jerked awake suddenly. She grabbed her PaDD and studied more of the reports that Randy had given her.

Rand