Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent

Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent

Posted by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) in side - sim: Honoring the Ardent
Posted by… suppressed (7) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
She felt some of the tension leave him as he relaxed. Rand grinned in the dark and rotated her wrist so her palm touched his and she could hold his hand in return. “Ach, tis a good thing I was a wild fae child then.” Roman always got this look when her accent got more noticeable. She couldn’t really describe it, but she thought it meant he liked it. Usually, it happened when she was relaxed and comfortable (which she was around him), or really exhausted. The later applied but right now it was deliberate, making fun of herself, trying to make him smile. “A poor one I was too. In fact I dinnae ever manage ta truly enchant a furry animal much less a man. I was a sore disappointment ta Queen Titania.” Rand was simply being silly, for his benefit, and had no idea it came out flirtatiously. If she had, she would have been far too self conscious to have actually said such a thing.

Rand

Roman was giving her that look again, both because he loved her accent and because what she’d said was fairly flirtatious. He turned in her arms so he was facing her and smiled. “Well, you enchanted me, did you not?” He said, slipping his arms around her. He did not need to play up his accent, it was naturally quite strong and very obviously English. It was nearly pitch dark in his room, and he could only just barely make out her face, so he hoped she could see his expression - a playful smile.

~ Roman

If Rand hadn’t been so tired, she would have realized what she’d started a bit quicker. But when Roman turned to face her, there was that hint of low laughter in his voice that told her he was both teasing and flirting with her. She loved his accent, a fact that if she admitted to Randy would cause her to be subject to some overly dramatic shock and disbelief. “I did?” That was a heady thought. He slipped his arms around her and she settled in close to him. The ambient light from the chronometer allowed her to see his face more clearly than he could see hers. The smile on his face made her blush, but a teasing smile appeared on her face. “Really? I thought Elizabeth bewitched Darcy, not enchanted him?”

Rand

“Is there a meaningful difference?” She was blushing, he was pretty sure, though he couldn’t see her face well enough to be certain. She was settled in close to him and he hugged her, tight, as if he thought he might lose her and he loved her too much for that. “Enchanted or bewitched whichever I am I can hope it never wears off, if that were even possible,” he said after a moment of silence.

~ Roman

Rand shook her head no to his question. She didn’t think there was a difference, she was just trying to keep the mood light and help him relax. But then he was holding her, tightly. Roman always held her firmly, securely, made her feel calm and safe. This was different. This was like the time Pipkin startled them by banging her cage, or when they had thought something had happened at the Valentine’s dance. It had made her feel safe and protected by there had been an edge of fear to it. She held him tighter, pressing her face into his neck. It was a beautiful sentiment and made her smile softly. “I love you, too. Always.” Sometimes it surprised her how much, but it didn’t worry her or make her nervous, it just made her feel better. After several silent moments, he was still holding tightly onto her. She tipped her head back, trying to search his face in the dark. “Roman…what is it?”

Rand

That fear was ever present for Roman, in the back of his mind, always. As if something might out of the blue take her away from him. He’d spoken to Randy briefly about it, after the valentine’s dance, but he hadn’t made any progress with it. She held him tighter when she said she loved him and he kept his grip tight, holding her to him. After several quiet minutes she pulled away ever so slightly and looked up at him. He couldn’t think of an explanation that made any logical sense. There was no immediate threat. Rand would’ve noticed that any time the ship experienced spacial turbulence, or if the ship shook for any other reason, Roman gripped whatever was closest to him and tensed. But their flight, presently, was smooth. There were no loud noises, and no one except the two of them there. But perhaps because he’d just been dreaming of losing Jay again, the thought wouldn’t leave his mind. Finally he said, “I just… love you so much I can’t imagine losing you.” It sounded… Cheesy at the least, and Roman mentally face palmed. Couldn’t he have thought of something as smooth as he normally was?

~ Roman

Given that she knew what he was going through the words didn’t sound cheesy at all. She could follow the line of thinking even if she couldn’t fully understand what he was going through. Rand hadn’t really noticed the way he gripped the nearest thing. Well she did, everyone grabbed something to steady their balance when the ship shook some. The thing was that on duty, Rand was so busy running from place to place and with her duties for Rogers she didn’t see Roman on duty often. Except in the early morning, when she helped prep reports and at lunch. She noticed, but hadn’t connected the two until that moment. She leaned back into him.

It wasn’t very obvious, he felt that he had to hide it from the crew after all. He could disguise it as simply grabbing on to something like everyone else did, to steady balance, but he couldn’t hide the way his breath would catch, or the way he’d remain tense until he knew what had caused it.

She wanted to tell him he wasn’t going to loose her, to reassure him, but life was too unpredictable, they were exploring unknown space. She had no way to guaranteed that, and Roman knew that. Rand could only think of one thing to say, and she felt the truth of it etched deep in her heart, but she wasn’t sure if Roman would understand the quote or not. But it was deeply personal and etched in sad memories for her, reminding her of her very last performance. But she never felt the truth of it more than she did right now. “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” She kissed him gently. “I will never willingly choose to be away from you.”

Rand (Quote from The Princess Bride)

Roman was familiar with the movie. He didn’t know it well enough to quote it back to her, but he recognized the quote. He wished she could say that nothing was going to happen but he knew why she didn’t. Because this was space, and they’d both agreed to risk their lives every day just by signing up. He hugged her tighter, just a little, he didn’t want to hurt her, and leaned into her after she kissed him. “I can’t imagine waiting a lifetime to be with you again.”

~ Roman

The truth was even if Rand left the service and returned to Earth, there was no guarantee. Death came for everyone, eventually. It was a sad and scary thought. She prayed that they had years, into old age, left before them. Rand didn’t mind how tightly he was holding her, he wasn’t hurting her. Though she wasn’t aware he was being careful. Roman was strong enough he probably could if he wasn’t careful. She never worried about that though. She shook her head against his shoulder. “Neither can I, but I would. I love you, and I would wait however long. But we don’t have to, we’re both here, right now. There’s no need to wait, only to take each moment we have.” The words didn’t seem enough to convey how much she meant them, or how much she loved him.

Rand

Roman kept his grip tight and buried his face in her shoulder and neck. Then he nodded against her. He wished her words made him feel better than they did, but at least it helped a little. He lay there quietly with her for a little while, unsure how to respond but also just enjoying them being there together. Then he said, “I would wait, too. Forever, if I had to.”

~ Roman

Rand felt his breath against her neck and him nod silently. Her fingers combed the hair on the back of his neck. Roman was quiet for awhile. Rand was afraid she might doze off, being there with him like that was comfortable and she hoped soothing for him. She even silently held back a yawn. Her only reaction to his words was to hold him tighter for a moment. He had already waited and lost so much.

She wanted to say something, tease him, make him laugh, tell him another story, anything to make him feel a little better. But she didn’t know what that would be, how she was ‘supposed’ to go about it. So she just stayed there, holding him while he held her for as long as she could. If she started a little late, that was okay, she would still get everything done. Roman was more important right now.

Rand

It was soothing for him, to sit there with her. He seemed comfortable, and as time went on, his grip on her relaxed. He wasn’t quite sleeping but he looked like he’d gotten tired again. It was relaxing and calming for him, laying against her so he could feel the subtle movements of her breathing, the warmth of her arms around him. He lifted his head to peek at the time and sighed at what he saw. 0530. He gave her a little squeeze and said, “You’re going to be late.”

~ Roman

Rand’s breathing had become soft and longer; she might have been dozing. Her eyes popped open when she felt him move and then sigh. She turned her head to look and then put her head back down on his shoulder. “It’s fine. I have a few minutes still. As long as I am up by 0600.” She wasn’t ready to get up. She wanted that moment to last, to pause time and stay there. If she has to rush a bit that was okay. It would make up for her morning run, and help wake her up. But she knew Roman wouldn’t like it if she was really late. Finally, with a deep resigned sigh, Rand hugged him closer and kissed him before she sat up. She had to go to her quarters to change, or she could have stayed just a little longer.

When she sat up, Pipkin appeared and took her place. Rand searched her behind the ears. She thought Roman should take the day off but didn’t figure he would. “I’ll see you in the lab?” Then she kissed him again and left. Returning to her quarters, Randy was getting ready for his shift. Rand told him Roman agreed he needed to talk to Randy. Randy nodded and took a good long look at her. “Girl! Those dark circles are not attractive. You can’t help him if you don’t get some sleep. And eat something!” Rand kissed his cheek on her way out. She jogged to the nearest ladder and made the climb. She needed to move and wake up.

Roman hugged her as she hugged him and then let her go so she could get up. Pipkin quickly took her place, but the little bunny was no replacement for Rand and Roman found himself feeling cold, so he sat up, gave Pipkin some pet, and then started getting ready for the day.

Randy left and walked down the corridor to talk to Alden. Before he got started for the day was better, he’d avoid otherwise. When Alden answered the door Randy entered and sat down. As usual he didn’t say anything, just waited for Alden to say what was going on. Or at least the part he was willing to talk about.

Rand

It took Roman a moment to answer the door so he could finish getting dressed. He half expected it to be Rand, saying she’d forgotten something. Instead, Randy was standing there. Roman stepped aside and let him in. He hadn’t expected Randy so soon. He sat on the edge of the bed. Randy took a seat on the computer chair, Rand’s old spot. And then the two of them sat in silence for several minutes, Randy waiting for Roman to speak up and Roman eyeing Randy and then the floor, deciding which parts he felt like talking about. He looked awful, he hadn’t slept well in a week and he was averaging half an hour to an hour per night, except the night before when he’d gotten six hours. He hadn’t been eating well, usually only half or less of the light foods Rand brought him.

Finally he started with the disks and the projects and the orders from Science Command. Then he explained how he couldn’t sleep and how his nightmares had been worse, and what they were about, including the one from the previous night. Lastly he spoke of his fears of something happening to Rand, that the thought was incessant and always there. By the time he was done, he felt like he’d talked more than he had in the last month combined, like he might lose his voice, almost. Then he looked at Randy, watching his face.

~ Roman