Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) in Knock, knock, knocking on lover’s door (Tag: Batario)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Kastarak (First Officer / Navigation Officer) in Knock, knock, knocking on lover’s door (Tag: Batario)

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) in Knock, knock, knocking on lover’s door (Tag: Batario)
Posted by… suppressed (17) by the Post Ghost! 👻
It was around 23:00. Kastarak knew that Pawl had just finished his evening shift. He had asked the computer to ensure that Pawl indeed was in his chief engineer’s quarters. It had been a few difficult days since Kastarak returned to duty. His near-death experience, coma, Pawl watching over him… His spat with Lovejoy (but in his love for Pawl, there was no joy… only pain). Kastarak questioned himself, he questioned all his choices. Would it have been better for them to remain coupled, with Kastarak declining the promotion? He had prioritised the welfare of the crew above his own welfare and that of his lover, Pawl....

Kastarak felt a lump in his gut. At this point, he knew it was nothing physiologically wrong with him. Normally, he would purge those feeling of guilt, anxiety, pain and love away. But on this evening, this quiet evening in interstellar space, he felt somewhat addicted to it. He kept thinking, I can always purge it later when I need to…, as he buzzed the door to Pawl’s room.

He hoped, he hoped Pawl would open and allow them some time to talk. Kastarak wasn’t entirely sure what he expected from this chance, he just needed to be with Pawl. Hear him speak. See his face. Maybe there would be a way. If not, maybe they could have a few minutes…

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

Pawl just had finished changing into his off duty clothes as he heard a chime as he moved closer to the door he felt a familiar presence from the otherside. Pawl tapped the button on the side of the door to open it to see Kastarak. “Good evening Sir please come in. care for some tea?” Pawl offered.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

“Yes, thank you,” Kastarak replied quickly. He entered the quarters and looked around. It looked the same like it did last time he was here. There was safety and security in that sight.

“I come here in a private matter,” he added. “Let us speak like friends.”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

“of course Kastarak. By all means please proceed.” Pawl grabbed two large glasses of ice as he poured the tea. and he then sat it down in front of Kastarak. as he placed his drink down on the coffee table and sat down in the chair facing Kasarak. “whats on your mind?” as Pawl spoke softly and informally to Kastarak.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

((OOC: Just popping in to say how much I love the title! NEarly cackled when I read it. - Alex))

(( :D ))

Kastarak was first taken aback a bit with the tea being served in ice, but then he remembered it was a custom in certain cultures. He remembered his days in San Francisco, where humans, especially those who had for generations in lived in California or adjacent territories, would partake in that. He accepted the glass of ice tea and tasted it. It was not like hot tea, but not entirely unagreeable. There was freshness to it, but it was sweeter than he had expected. He would not be rude and show dissatisfaction.

“You are, Pawl. I cannot articulate it better. Every day. Every hour. You’re on my mind.” Kastarak had also not expected being so candid. But Pawl would always bring out the truth and emotions in Kastarak. That was why, deep in his heart, he still loved him.

Kastarak looked down on his own lap. He could not face the look of Pawl now.

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

Pawl noticed a change in him. “There is no need to hide your face from me. I am ok I understand you and your feelings that won’t change things between us friends or otherwise. You are still a valued friend and companion.” Pawl said kindly to him. “I understand the link might take time to release.” pawl added. “Please continue.”

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

But Kastarak didn’t want the link to be released. At the same time, he couldn’t continue it. In human terms, his conflict was that he wanted to keep the cake but eat it too.

Listening to Pawl, Kastarak lifted his head and looked at Pawl. Those beautiful eyes, lips… the way the nose centred his face…

“Yes…” he said quietly, wishing things were not so painful. Yet he refused to release that pain. Releasing that pain would sever the link.

“I wish our circumstances were different. Do you think there is a way to make them so?”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

Pawl felt the conflict from Kasarak. Before he spoke he took a moment to focus himself before he spoke. “Kastarak I feel your pain and I know I am part of this.”Pawl said softly to him. “I understand you were becoming a first officer and the navigator position causes concerns with any type of relationship on the ship. Even with me being chief engineer you might think it might be a conflict of interest from other crew members’ views. I would not force you to lose such a position just to have a relationship with you or me to lose the chief engineering status. Even if I was just a simple engineering officer there would be complications. And if I dropped the engineering status and became a civilian here sooner or later I would have to go back to Betazed.”Pawl followed his thoughts to a logical conclusion. “Granted I am hearing they’re possibly going to add families to starships on longer assignments to help with the morale and comfort of the crew.” Pawl said calmly as he continued, “Short of marriage that might be one way to solidify things and no one can say anything about the relationship. But I believe we are both not ready for such a heavy step or responsibility of that.” Pawl fell silent a moment to take a drink of his tea. As he let Kasarak to let what he said to sink in.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

It was as if Pawl was playing with Kastarak’s feelings (despite his appearance, he did have them!). First Pawl had allowed Kastarak to be optimistic, just like Grey had, only to shoot the possibility of happiness down at the last instance.

Kastarak took a moment to regulate himself. Once regulated – but still not fully at a serene state of mind — he announced: “I understand there are possibilities to seek recognition of a relationship on board a ship, thus allowing us to serve concurrently on the same ship. I do not yet know what the criteria are. I would be willing to seek this out. The risk, however, will be that we either have to terminate a relationship once again, or be separated on separate ships. How do you feel and think about this possibility?”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

Pawl let the words set in his mind before he spoke again. “Kasarak? Are you saying now you want to continue our relationship?” Pawl said softly to him. ” I thought you wanted to end things but still remain as friends due to the fact of your promotion?? And did not want to show favoritism or special treatment if we stayed as a couple? I will take orders and follow them as any officer would and not needing any favoritism. etc. ” Pawl said calmly and without hesitation. “I am not opposed to the restarting of our relations. I know it was not an easy task for either of us to break off the process,” Pawl said calmly and collectedly. “I don’t believe it will be necessary to terminate our jobs and go to separate ships.”

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

Bump

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

A gush of hope filled Kastarak at this point.

“I am not opposed either, in principle, provided it is logistically possible.”

He looked into Pawl’s eyes.

“Perhaps we can speak to the captain about it. I advise us to do so once we return from this mission. What is your preference?”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

“We can wait or we can talk to him now? I truly don’t have a preference? Do you?” Pawk said to Kasarak softly. “Have you eaten dinner yet? If you like we can go get something from the mess hall?” Pawl offered.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

“Once we return is more prudent. But yes, I should like to eat with you.”

Pawl’s have you eaten yet brought Kastarak back to his anthropological classes in Starfleet where he learnt that in many cultures, that is the greeting people show their loved ones to show concern and familiarity. Kastarak felt embraced by Pawl by this very question, and he was ready to go on a meal with him.

Of course, he wouldn’t dare consider it a courting meal (or as humans say, a “date”), but it was still significant… This would be the first open socialisation between them for over five months’ time. Even after all this time, it seemed like their attachment to one another was still there and important to both of them. It comforted Kastarak, even if he had to wait until after the mission to act on it, in case it meant they would have to reconsider their postings and so on.

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

“Shall we go to the mess hall?” Pawl asked. as he stood up from his seat. As he calmly moved towards the door of his cabin. “How have you been doing?” Pawl asked trying to make small talk. as the doors opened to his cabin. As he waited for Kasarak to exit.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

“Yes, let’s,” said Kastarak as he rose up from his seat.

“This mission of ours is difficult and requires a lot more energy, focus and resilience from me. How have you been, Pawl? I have missed speaking to you.”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

“I have been better long hours are starting to get to me a bit. Pawl said calmly. As they walked down the corridor. “I miss speaking with you as well.” he added.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

“I understand,” Kastarak said, feeling Pawl’s difficulties. “I hope that once we start cruising on a slow speed through the Klingon empire, it can given both you and me some more recreational time. Perhaps we’d also have more time to spend with one another.”

They reached the turbolift.

“Mess lounge,” Kastarak ordered.

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer

“That would be nice Kasarak.” He said calmly. As He held the handle next to him as the lift took off towards its destination. Pawl kept an open mind with everyone. “Anything special you are going to have for our meal?” Pawl asked him.

[[Lt_Jg ]] [[Pawl Batario]]
[[Chief_Engineer]] [[Uss_Chernov]]

“What is special is to eat a meal with you,” replied Kastarak. “As for the meal itself, anything with sufficient nutrition for my needs is what I seek.”

Kastarak, Lt Cdr
First Officer and Navigations Officer