<snip>

“You’re talking to a guy who had to tell a Bolian ambassador that he couldn’t bring a 10- meter long venomous snake into a sterile room to visit an aid, even though it was his ‘emotional support herpeform’,” Brad said.

“And why not. Snakes are amazingly coothy.” She laughed.

“Yes, but not sterile. And we don’t stock PPE that fit snakes. Humanoid reptiles, sure. But honest-to-God, non-sentient snakes? No. So no admittance to ICU.”

“I’ll make sure to send some to your office just in case.” She said her eyes twinkling mischievously.

The pounding noise from Cai’s room lowered and the door opened admitting the purple hoodied teen into the main room. He slouched in and went to the replicator ignoring them both.

Willow Taylor

“Oh, hey Cai,” Brad said. “Want a slice?”

Lt. Cmdr. Dr. Brad Walker
Chief of Staff

Cai raised his eyebrows and looked over. “No thanks…I’ve got my own.” He said but not with the kind of teenage contempt he normally reserved for his sister. He did indeed replicate a pizza of his own. It appeared to be covered in chillies and jalapeños.

Willow and Cai

“Looks like a recipe for capsaicin overdose to me, but what do I know, I’m just a middle-aged white guy from Omaha,” Brad said. “You do you, man.”

Lt. Cmdr. Dr. Brad Walker
Chief of Staff

The teen did in fact sit down opposite them “ Yeah well I’m more interested in the endorphins and dopamine that the burning pain will also release. Also there’s the taste. But if i develop blisters in my throat, vomit or go into anaphylactic shock i’m With the best company right?’ He asked and taking half of his pizza folded it in on itself and took a huge bite. His cheeks, normally an almost alabaster pale turned red seconds after he started to chew. “Pure euphoria” he mumbled through the mass of dough and cheese and fire in his mouth.

Willow shook her head and took another slice of her own.

“I’d say don’t talk with your mouth full, but that’s far down the ‘bad decisions’ list here,” Brad said. The teen’s words had set off alarm bells in his head. There were far healthier ways to get the brain to release either of those hormones.

Willow and Cai

Brad

The teen rolled his eyes. “Oh relax…I’m just messing with you. I like the chillies. The hotter the better. I put them on everything it’s not an addictive thing or an issue I just like the taste ok? Don’t have an aneurism.”

Willow frowned. “Can you try not to make yourself look like a headcase or an unmannered baboon. And if you could close your mouth when you chew That’d be great,” she turned to look at Brad, “ignore him he’s purposely poking to see if you’ll bite.”

“The house of Godric Gryffindor has been a beacon in the wizarding world for nearly ten centuries, and I will not have you besmirching it in one night by acting like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons,” Brad replied, drawing himself up and adopting a horrific Scottish-accented falsetto. He then dropped it and spoke in a normal voice.

“And technically speaking, I can’t control whether or not I have an aneurysm. They form naturally outside of our control, for the most part. But I can exercise limited control over conditions that would cause one to burst, which is what you meant.”

Cai and Willow

Brad
DROPPIN EDUCATION ON THE YOOFS