Casela had just finished another long shift. All of Alpha shift, and even with her staff working full shifts, they weren’t done with crew evals. Plus her extra responsibilities of advising the captain. She was pessimistically happy about the captain though. The longer they were on board and headed for their mission the more confident he was becoming, and she could now see why command had chosen him for this position. She just had to make him see it.

And the hours of training with RTF was grewling. Of course that was her fault. Manhattan had a point to prove to her, and so she’d had to make a point to him. Not to mention that sad and demeaning pep talk he’d given the team, about going easy on her and don’t scare her away. Her Betazoid talents prevented her from simply listening. She tended to be too aggresive. Throwbacks to her time in the resistance and being alone on too many missions. She’d just finished her last training with them for the week. She was sore, tired, and thirsty. Maybe not in that order though. And damn Ryder for showing up at the first and starting Irida’s tongue wagging. Now she kept inwardly flinching every time the door opened, hoping and dreading, that he’d shown up again. And Irida gossiped too much and for some reason the love lives of the senior staff were her favorite topic. Cobb apparently had a thing for his Yoeman, which was absurd if you actually knew Cobb, Ryder had regular late night rendevious with Doc Fey, (which made Casela realize she had a jelous streak she hadn’t had before, damn that man), and the things she said Manhattan was up to were just absurd. She’d put Irida through her paces for 2 hours while the others worked, just to shut the woman up for 5 minutes.

Casela took the turbolift down to the counseling deck. No one looked for her down there, so she was pretty sure to be left alone, and not be found by anyone that she didn’t feel like talking to. She used one of the patient quarters to shower and change, black gi pants and a black fitted t-shirt. She silently moved down the hall to a room set up for meditation. Soft light, thick floor pillows, candles and incense for those who needed. And plenty of objects to use to focus one’s attention. Casela sent Fenrir to his maintence bay for more updates and to recharge. He’d find her later, when he was done. She sat down on a cushion and closed her eyes.

*T’Jal sat outside, she’d come to visit T’Jal after her last mission. She was filled with rage and had dodged S31 for weeks to get there, to Norda 3. Jake Smith, T’Jal’s husband had been outside when she arrived, greeting her with a warm hug. He’d then waved her towards the barn like building towards the back of the property. T’Jal was waiting for her. But instead of letting Casela work her aggression out, she’d made her sit down and have tea, of all things! “Ah Casela, your heart be too heavy for this work anymore. They never should have recruited ya. It’s too late for that now, though. What are you going to do about it? You can disappear, you’ve got the training, but you’ll be running your whole life. And in the end you are still living the life you hate.” T’Jal shrugged. It was a life she had been prepared to live at one point. “One day, you will meet a crew, star fleet or not, space ship, colony, starbase, planet, it doesn’t matter. You will meet them, and they will, without warning, become family to you. It won’t make any sense, but they will all suddenly be very important to you. It happened to most of us. It took longer for F’actar and me. But the Dresden was that family for us.”

Casela shook her head, “I have family, back on Betazed. I don’t need another family. I want to go home to them.”

T’Jal shook her head at Casela, “That’s what you want, but not what you need. This family will be what you need. It will be hard, and leaving this kind of work, even when you want to leave, is hard. The habits stay with you and trust is hard in coming. It’s worth it though.” Casela rolled her eyes, “Hey girly, I can still teach you a lesson or 20. No disrespect in this place. You remember?” Casela nodded. “Good. Now you’re welcome to stay as long as you need. The gym is here for your use.”*

Lt Synthi-er, CNS