Posted by Gamemaster Deus Ex Machina (GM) in Rinker’s Office - Jessa’s counseling session 2 - Lets talk about the Order - When the past doesn’t match the present…or the future

Posted by Civilian Jessa Novar (Child) in Rinker’s Office - Jessa’s counseling session 2 - Lets talk about the Order - When the past doesn’t match the present…or the future

Posted by Commander Heathcliff Rinker (Chief of Psychiatry) in Rinker’s Office - Jessa’s counseling session 2 - Lets talk about the Order - When the past doesn’t match the present…or the future
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(SNIP)
“Don’t do that.” His voice was annoyed. “That is dogma, it is propaganda, it is what you were trained to say. It isn’t what is specifically true for you. I don’t lie in this room and neither should you. You’ve been allowed to put pins in anything you have chosen, I haven’t once stopped you. The only condition was that you used a pin so you’d didn’t have to lie about something you didn’t or couldn’t tell me. Don’t break your own rule now. Use a pin and tell me what you are comfortable with.”

Rinker

“It’s not propaganda! It is the truth. They did come for me.” Jessa had no idea how Rinker was always able to see through every lie or half truth. It was like he had all the answers she locked deep away and wanted to expose her. “I wasn’t a baby but they still came for me. The protectorates saved me that night. They…they gave,” she felt like she was about to explode. She had to make Rinker stop. He was so close to her personal truth just as he mentioned. Her eyes fell on the small ball still in his hands. “Give me that Trifing ball! Give it to me! I need it now.” Her body was shaking and Jessa looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It was too much. There were many balls in the air that she was trying to juggle. Between Mardusk, Ian, her new secret friends, and Rinker, Jessa just needed one person she could control. One of these people had to submit to her authority so she focused all her energy on Rinker.

Rinker tossed the ball to her, “They gave?”

“They gave me a home,” she blurted out loud catching the ball. A wave of stress washed off her body. “I was all alone and they came for me. They saved me that night. I was five. Everyone was dead. I had nowhere to go. Proctor Elgina was dead. The school was gone. I had two choices. I could go with them or walk into a building and die like the rest,” Jessa threw the ball back at him. “Guess I made the wrong choice again.”

“I didn’t hear any wrong decisions… What did they save you from, how did everyone die?” He wondered if this was a matter of someone rescuing her from a fire they had set.”It sounds so horrible to have some many dead around you. Was this the time you lost your mother as well?”

His tone snapped Jessa’s eyes off the ball and to the side so she was not looking at Rinker at all as she thought about what he said. “Why should I tell you,” she yelled back at him. “Everything I say you hate. No answer I give you want. I am going to rot in some jail whether it is here or back home so you were right it doesn’t matter what my favorite color.”

“I’ve never said I hate anything you said… I’ve never said you are going to rot in jail… and I can’t say what might happen to you when and if you go back. I don’t know your people like that.”

“Yes, you do. My people are in the brig and you don’t seem to particularly like them,” she let a sarcastic tone fill her voice. “You are a smart man. How do you think my draconian Galactic Union will react? I can tell you. They will make an example of me. They will point out how I saved myself and lived among you while my three of my quad languished and suffered. They will accuse me of rebellious thoughts and actions. You might not have the death penalty but we do and I have no doubt in my mind I will go back because I have to go back.” There was nothing but conviction in Jessa’s voice. She believed everything she was saying. “It doesn’t matter what I do or how long it takes to complete the mission. I will be tried and found guilty.”

“You are found guilty before trial?

“Well they can’t arrest you unless they have suspicions you are a rebel or a criminal,” she looked at Rinker like he asked a perplexing question. “That is why we have the adjudicators. So that when they present the case against you, the adjudicator has a chance to prove your innocence before the sentence is carried out. It’s not that hard of a concept. It is exactly what you have here only instead of letting the adjudicator prove your innocence against the state you actively have them arguing against any point the adjudicator tries to use to set you free.”

“How often does the adjudicator get their client off?”

“The adjudicator always gets them off as long as it is not treason or a sin against the faith.” Jessa thought about his comment and decided to probe a bit more to see if Rinker was now willing to give her something she wanted. He kept talking about how he liked her. Maybe he liked her enough to help her. “You know adjudicators are a lot like you. They know when you are lying. My guess is that if I could tell them how I did something besides eat, sleep and talk to people they will believe me when I talk about my experience with your Federation.” Maybe Jessa needed to be subtle with her demands.

Rinker shrugged, “What is the value of lies?” Not answering if he actrually knew if she was lying or not. “But I suspect you have a specific thing you would like to do?”

“My guess, is you have been working pretty hard to complete your mission despite the fact you have been separated. So much so, you broke your arm to get away from Mr. Mardusk. Nor did you have the choice of where you were placed. That being said. if you fear unjust prosecution from your Empire. I’m sure we can offer you a place in the Federation. Not that, that is something we discuss here.”

“If I am guilty then I deserve to be punished. That is what you all have decided. I may not have hurt that woman myself but I was a part of the group that did her hurt so I am guilty by association. So why is the Galactic Union any different? It would be a lot easier to complete my mission if you did not keep me separated from my crew and our mission was to meet you so pretty much completed that and I can not talk to you about Mr. Mardusk.” Jessa’s voice turned a bit sarcastic as she added, “and you know everything you needed to know about my arm. You said you followed up on it so you have all your answers.” She did not put a pin in it but looked at him for a long moment. There was no point in making another enemy here.

“You are not guilty in the Federation because of association. You can be guilty because of participation - helping, or of conspiracy which is participating in the planning. But if it is what you said is true, that you didn’t know what was going to happen nor had any reason to reasonably expect it to happen, before it happened and you did not help during the commission or tried to conceal their guilt afterwards. There isn’t a crime you committed in the Federation.”

“As far as your mission, I don’t think we understand what your mission is, and until we do. I don’t think we can help you complete it.”

She debated about telling him there was no mission. That it was all a lie but so far the only thing that seemed to make Rinker mad was lying. Jessa was going to have to think differently than she had been. Maybe she could trust him just a little bit. “You don’t need to help me with that but,” she took her eyes off him thinking.

“But?”

A long pause filled the room as Jessa looked everywhere but at Rinker. “Are you a judge because if you are I have one request. Please start calling me Jane Doe again,” Jessa felt her eyes start to burn.

“Then no one will know who I am. I don’t think I am going to be able to help her the way I wanted so at least no one can blame her for anything else. She was just scared and when people are scared they do dumb things.” Jessa didn’t care if she cried anymore. None of it mattered. She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I have always cost her everything. Maybe this will be a way to pay her back because I have always tried my best but as Rogan says my best has never been good enough.” Jessa refused to look anywhere near Rinker. Instead she focused on one of his pieces of art talking to that instead of him. Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Jessa sniffed loudly. Reaching into her shirt, Jessa pulled out the necklace she had tucked in there and held it tightly in her fist.

Jessa

“I’m not going to call you that, because that isn’t your name, but if you don’t want me to call you Jessa I’ll do that, young miss.” He said calmly enough. In fact it seemed he was talking even more quietly than ever.

She didn’t respond to his sentence giving him a preference of what she wanted to be called. Jessa stared at the wall and continued to look through the picture letting her vision get blurry.

“Help who? Your mother? or is that a different her?”

Rinker

Jessa looked at him and wished for a second Rinker was anyone but the person he was. She wished he was a stranger she had never met before that helped her up after she fell and scraped her knee. She wished he was the Protectorate that carried her off the burning planet when she was five. She wished he was Pellan who secretly wiped her tears away and gave her secret messages in the garden. She wished he was Proctor Trina who would sneak in late and night and pull the covers up around her shoulders and whisper everything was okay when she had a nightmare. Unfortunately, Heathcliff Rinker was none of these people.

Jessa finally nodded in answer to his question. “Wouldn’t you help your mom if she was in trouble and needed your help and you were the only person in the world that could help her?”

Jessa Novar.

“I would and I’d like to help you. Explain to me what you need?”

Rinker

“I can’t but I can explain the question I ignored,” she offered lowering her voice to match the soft tone Rinker was using. “Ball,” she said holding her hands out.

Rinker tried a ceiling, desk, double bounce… but the ball didn’t have quite the spring necessary to do more than flop weakly against the desk. The ball was more designed to be squishy and comforting. Not so much super bouncy.

“I don’t really remember it that well,” she lied. It was the first blatant lie, Jessa told Rinker. It wasn’t to him though. The words were directed at him but the lie was to herself. “I was sleeping in my bed at the academy. I had my Chrisvens mouse. My mom gave me that the day she left me there. Our old apartment had a ton of them in the walls. They used to make my mom crazy. At night you could hear them crawling around in the attic but it wasn’t like they hurt you. They just needed a place to live as we did. They didn’t have Chrisven mice at my school. It was a nice school. In fact, it was directly across the street from our old apartment. There was a huge park on the corner filled with blue flowers. My mom and I would play and then sit on the bench and sometimes we would pick big bouquets.” Jessa paused thinking about how much she loved that time in her life. She stared at the wall lost in her thoughts for several long moments almost like in a day dream.

Getting up she picked up the ball as if on autopilot and threw it back to Rinker. The break gave her time to collect her thoughts.

“Sorry, you asked about the night. Not my past life,” Jessa cracked her neck as if loosening up for an athletic event instead of a story. Tossing the ball back she continued. “Like I said I don’t remember much but I was sleeping…at the school and Proctor Elgina came in. She said we needed to go.” Jessa’s voice got even softer and her speech slower. “We couldn’t take anything. We couldn’t even get dressed. Everyone was screaming and yelling. I was five so I knew how to tie my shoes but I got scared. I just sat there holding my Chrisvens mouse. Proctor Elgina never yelled or was cross but she was so mad that night. She started yelling at me to hurry up. She grabbed my arm and pulled me from the bed. She didn’t even notice I wasn’t wearing shoes or my coat but there were a lot of other kids she had to worry about that night. I shouldn’t have just sat there. I should have listened. Maybe it would have gotten us to the spaceport faster,” she looked at Rinker as if he would confirm or deny that fact. Catching the ball she tossed it back to Rinker.

“When we got to the spaceport they only had one ship left. There weren’t enough seats. Proctor Elgina was fighting with the man and then the ships came. Everything was suddenly on fire. The Elders and proctors at the Order school said it wasn’t ships. They say it was God’s wrath raining down from heaven but I…I don’t remember. I was little but there were so many black streaks and then blinding flashes of light. One knocked us over and when I woke up,” Jessa stopped talking and cleared her throat.

“They could have been speaking metaphorically,” He offered. More likely even in defeat or retreat they were trying to indoctrinate their people. “It’s okay… go on.”

Jessa knew in her heart that it was not metaphorical or an act of God. It was an act of war. It was war ships and troops. It was explosions and blood.

She looked at Rinker and began to debate how much detail Heathcliff Rinker would need about the end of her story. He seemed like a nice enough man. There was no reason to fill in the images of blood and death that haunted Jessa’s sleep still even years later. She studied his face for a long time. He was old, like most adults, with some graying around his ears and temple. Jessa thought it made him look scholarly and full of wisdom. Moving her face off his face and focusing on his eyes, Jessa made her decision. His eyes did not hold the heavy, worn-weary expression of most men she knew at seemed to be about his age. When the Order and the Galactic Union arrived, that would change but for now, Jessa would allow him to still have peace. Rinker didn’t need all the details. He only needed the facts, some of the facts. His years of training and understanding human behavior and actions would probably give him some indication Jessa was determining how much she should share or withhold.

It was not like Jessa was hiding some huge secret that would unravel the mystery of how she got here. “When I woke up I wasn’t sure what to do so I went back to my school. My mom told me that when I missed her to go sit on the bench and one day she would be there. It was good advice,” Jessa let out a hollow laugh trying to not make the story so dramatic. “The school was not there when I got back but the bench was there. I sat down. I was rescued and now I am here.”

“That sounds like a horrible experience.” Rinker paused letting that settle in.

Catching the ball and passing it back Jessa ran her fingers through her hair. “Is our hour up? I don’t want to take up any more of your day. I feel like I have been here a lot longer than an hour,” she stated not really avoiding telling him more. Jessa was just looking for a distraction. “If we meet again can we do lunch, not in your office? Get out and get some fresh air…not that I don’t like your office…is it hot in here,” she pulled at her shirt.

Jessa

Sometimes he didn’t get the last word. “Its pretty close.” He paused. “We don’t have to talk any longer.” He sat down on the couch where she could sit next to him if she wanted.

OCC: I tried to get an idea of what Heathcliff Rinker looked like. Your link didn’t work but I saw the name Christopher Waltz. There are a million images of him but I was using this. If this is not correct as in image or person I will change my post. https://imgur.com/6UAPSdF Oh and FYI… Your bio has him in his mid-thirties so anyone over 20 is old to a 12 years old. You can so call her out on it if you choose. ~ Kate

OOC: That might be the exact picture of the broken link.

Rinker

Jessa moved closer to Rinker. She put her head on his shoulder which caused him to wrap his arm around her. He held her for a few seconds before he kissed the top of her head and told her everything was going to be okay. That she was safe. That nothing would stop him from finding her mom and bringing her to this ship. Jessa then shifted her body so she could side hug him. It was at this moment everything would be right in her world. The problem was this was not her world. It was not any world but a fantasy concocted in her mind about what Jessa wanted, needed to happen. Looking to her right, Rinker was not next to her like in her daydream but all the way on the other side of the couch.

It took everything she had not to move closer and pretend for one second she was not in her current situation but with someone that really wanted to help her. She was in over her head but trusting someone she had met two days ago, over everything she knew did not seem like a smart decision.

“Could you help me with something,” she asked Rinker softly. Maybe there was a way for Rinker to help her. Maybe if he understood more, he would order everyone to help her get back home.

“Perhaps,” He said non-committally. She hadn’t asked him for much and he didn’t think she was going to start with something small and easily attainable.

Jessa turned her body to face him on the couch moving closer to him with barely a cushion separating them. Her knees almost brushing the side of his trousers. SHe missed the feel of human contact with another. This would have to do for now. “Do you have some paper and a pen?” Her voice was soft and her tone indicated she wasn’t sure he would comply with her request. “I promise I won’t hurt you with it. I just,” she tucked her hair behind her ears. “I have put a lot of pins in things and I can’t remember what I have said I can’t talk about and what I can so I thought maybe we could make a chart. Maybe I could rethink about what I said I couldn’t talk about?” Jessa felt anxious and on edge. She couldn’t want to leave Rinker’s office like this. “Like earlier I pinned your question about the process of redemption and the altar of renewal. You asked about resettlement worlds and who goes there. My mom,” she let her voice trail off almost hopefully. “Maybe we make it Jesscliff’s topics of conversation,” she toyed at being humorous by splicing their name together. “You could add some questions you want to know about or things you want to share with me. Maybe we could go back and forth picking from the board. One question that we answer fully and take turns.”

Jessa toyed with her fingernail not looking at him hoping he would agree. Just in case she added one more thing. “The Elders are not my friends but neither are you. I am not special to them and I am not stupid enough to think I am special to you. I have not been special to anyone in a long time. Not the way the word really means. I don’t want you scared of me or think I am going to hurt you. Every time I leave here I have felt sad but it’s not because of what you say to me. It’s because when I go back and sit and think I see me through your eyes.” Jessa felt herself wanting to cry. She blinked rapidly to not cry. “I don’t like what I see because I see someone that is scared and alone and lost.”

“I’m not?” He questioned. “Fair enough, but at least I’m not assigned to you so at least our relationship is more friend like than with you and the Elders.”

“Feels like I am assigned to you,” Jessa sighed. “Mardusk said some weird things about you…same with the doctor in sick bay. I think they are just jealous you and I get to have lunch together. People really like you,” she paid him a compliment. Closing the space between them, Jessa moved next to Rinker close enough she could shoulder bump his arm. “You are kinda fun…sometimes.” Jessa let the moment linger before she spoke again.

“I don’t know if anyone is jealous of me. We do different things Mardusk, Ervilla, and I. It’s normal to look at someone differently and think their life is better or worse without knowing.” He leaned in conspiratorially, “But tell me, what did he say?” This didn’t have much of a clinical value although it could be rapport building, but really Rinker was just gossiping.

“Well, it is clear the man knows nothing about you.” Jessa adjusted her body so she was facing his side with her legs crossed so they were touching the entire length of his body where he sat on the couch. Her demeanor changed rapidly resembling that of one pre-teen girl about to share juicy gossip with another person her same age. Jessa’s face took on an expression worn by every blind idiot or teenager that knew they were far smarter than any adult who had somehow been stumbling blindly through their life without the pre-teen’s guidance. The arch of her eyebrows and small head wiggle as Jessa gathered her internal thoughts, showed she was fully confident, Rinker was about to have all her thoughts and concerns validated by someone who completely understood and agreed with them.

“So,” Jessa leaned in slightly but did not drop her gossipy tone, “Mr. Mardusk said you,” she stressed his name, “were going to do something called commit me somewhere very far away from my friends. You said you don’t have the power to do that so it was a lie.” Jessa sat back slightly and wore a disgusted look on her far. “Shows how much he knows. Of course, you are committed to me. I mean duh,” she rolled her eyes, “we eat lunch together every day. It was an odd way to say it though,” Jessa got a faraway look in her eyes as if she was trying to figure out a problem. “Back home we call them engagements but whatever.” She waved her hands brushing away her elucidation about vocabulary synonyms.

“That’s not what he meant by committed… it does mean what you say, but it also means being sent to a place for people with mental health issues. There is some truth, that I can send a person to a hospital for that… theres generally a lot of steps to that.”

Jessa felt her heart rate start to increase a bit. Rinker’s response was not what she was expecting. They had talked about so much this time. Jails and judges, family and enemies, faith and loyalty: was he trying to get her to connect some dots. Rinker told her she was safe and they could talk about anything. He would not send her away for her beliefs. She felt a knot in her tummy. Jessa lived in their hospital. It was far different than a re-education school like back home. “Yes but,” she felt her mouth go dry, “you have to order that.”

“I know you find it difficult to believe but this is a completely different place than where you came from. The people are different the rules are different. Sometimes what you think is true, just simply isn’t here. It’s not a trick or a ploy… I’m sure you have encountered worlds and peoples who’s ways are so strange to you. They didn’t do it as a lie… they just were legitamately different.”

“Yes but then they learned. Just like I learned.”

“Mr. Mardusk can’t order you to anything. You have more circles on your neck,” she tapped her collar indicating she was paying attention to the ranking system. “Commander Rinker to the Observation Deck immediately.” Her voice dropped almost comically low in an attempt to imitate the Orion. With so many people in this conversation to represent, Jessa had to have a way to make sure Rinker knew who said what when. “You should really explain to him who is in charge. He doesn’t respect you or Evrilla’s authority. He tried to make Evrilla do something too but she wouldn’t betray that order because I was her patient. Mr. Mardusk got really mad at that.” It was clear Jessa did not understand what the original word belay meant but was trying to force it into a context she did understand. “I am not sure he likes you but don’t worry. I will protect you. I am stronger than a mouse,” she gave him a confident smile remembering Rinker saying he was as weak as a mouse the first time they met.

“If you remember earlier I told you about how our system have a number of checks and balances.” He paused, “I do out rank Mardusk and for all intents and purposes there is very little he can order me to do, however his purview is security and he had broad range of authority in that respect. Right now you are a security risk so it can get confusing who’s in charge in your regard.”

“I am not a triffing security risk unless he makes me one,” Jessa felt anxious. “And I am in charge. If he has any questions make sure he knows that.”

“As a security officer, he has to judge you by the company you keep. And even by your description… your friends are dangerous.”

Jessa flashed him a deadly look. “You made us…them,” she altered her words, “dangerous.”

“If he comes near me again I will handle him. He will not hurt you or Evrilla. If he does he will need a doctor.” The look of superiority melted from her face starting at her forehead and ending at her mouth. The snarky smile she had been wearing throughout her gossip session relaying the events of the observation deck pulled the corners of her lips down into a frown. Suddenly all the pieces clicked into place. “You said you were not taking calls for patients because you had one or were with one and weren’t a dock…ter. That is why you didn’t come. Evrilla is a doctor. Since I was hurt I needed her not you. Ian did say you hang out with other people during the day.”

“I don’t think you have to worry about us, buth thank you for thinking about saving us. I actually appreciate it.”

Jessa nodded her head subtly, talking as if she were receiving information instead of giving it. Everything was starting to make sense to Jessa. Her body visibly relaxed as she finally figured out several problems that were plaguing her like why she saw Rinker every day and why Ian was so insistent she have lunch with him. “Sorry for being so mad at you before. I just didn’t understand until now you said patrons and not patients. You were cooking for another patron when it happened. A lot was going on yesterday. I kinda got overwhelmed and wasn’t thinking clearly, but it makes sense now.”

Jessa’s face turned slightly red indicating she was embarrassed at her mistake and behavior. She might be a Patron but that didn’t necessarily mean Rinker was her personal vassal. The idea however of Rinker being her personal chef eventually did hold merit. If he was part of her entourage, she could protect him better until he fully accepted the path of Enlightenment. Jessa hated being embarrassed and wrong. Slowly this feeling morphed into anger which she used to fuel the next part of her conversation with Heathcliff. “But I wasn’t the only one not thinking clearly. Mardusk was clearly drunk or inebriated on something else yesterday?”

“Kind of, I’m a doctor of talking primarily, so i don’t do medical treatment in the frame of broken arms and sick bodies too often. I can, but that isn’t my speciality.”

Jessa nodded but didn’t exactly understand what he meant. There was no way he could be a mind seer. They were outlawed, illegal. Heathcliff was too gentle to be a criminal or practice in illegal medicine.

“You want to know what else he said about you? He called you crazy. Psycho to be exact.” The disdain in her voice was as think as the anger radiating off her body.

“He said to get you in there because neither he or Evrilla were psychos. Guess he thought I was acting crazy when I performed the Ritual of Cleansing. Shows he doesn’t understand me…or you. He called me a child.” The shrill way her voice increased demonstrated how much offense she took to this moniker. “Also a terrorist, spy and zealout. I mean it doesn’t matter but what the triffing hell is a zealot? I think he was just making up things at the end because he was so mad.” There were so many words used that day Jessa had no idea of the meaning. It might have been easier if her arm hadn’t been throbbing from the compound fracture for her to full concentrate on the situation at hand. “In the end, it really doesn’t matter what he called us. It’s over and done. No one can redo the past, only learn from it.”

“Psychiatrists or Psychologists… I’m actually both.”

Jessa gave him a forced smile. Something inside was begging for her to asked what he meant in all his replies. Committed, hospital, psychiatrist, and psychologist all gave her a bad feeling even though they were just words. Rinker always seemed open to answering any questions she asked him. “Maybe you could tell me what that means but not today. Next time,” she said rapidly. Jessa needed some time to process her mistake. How could she have been so blind as to miss all the clues. Rinker was a mind seerer but only using a different name. “Next time,” she repeated firmly pushing down the wave of fear and dread as deep as she could.

“Maybe we could do that…for next time,” she asked in a hopeful tone and then added, “If you say it is okay to come back? Use the pins as Jesscliff’s topic of conversation for next time we meet,” she brought up the conversation again. Jessa had no idea if Rinker liked the idea or not.

“We don’t have to wait until next time, depending on what you are going to write.” Rinker stood and went to the replicator. He returned with paper and a pen. “I don’t think I can let you leave with this unless I tell Ian about the pen and paper.”

Rinker

“Trife Ian,” she rolled her eyes. “He does not need to know my business. I have HIPPA and confidentiality.”

“Well, you’re learning something… I’m just not certain it’s the right things.” He smiled softly to let her know that he wasn’t upset.

Jessa let out a small laugh. At times, Rinker could be funny with his sarcasm or comments. “If Ian needed to know my business you wouldn’t lock him out of the office when he brings me down here. I pay attention to what you say and do.”

Taking the pen from Rinker along with the paper, Jessa moved from the couch to the coffee table so she could write. “Okay, so the rules are a fair exchange of information.” Jessa began to write as she talked. आममाफी भनेको के हो?

She paused to move over so Rinker had room to write. Pushing her question to one corner of the table, she continued with her next question. तिम्रो काम के हो?

“I know you said this is a no lying zone but,” she started to write out her third question, “for this to work we have to have a clean slate. Full honesty. If we don’t know the answer we find it. That is for you. For me, it means I can’t re-pin it.” के मलाई एल्डरहरू भेट्न अनुमति दिइनेछ?

Rinker leaned over and started squinting. He was going to let her finish working and figure out what she wrote later.

Jessa pushed the third question into a line and looked over at Rinker’s questions.

It was not like she could read his questions any more than Rinker could read hers. When she suggested this, Jessa hadn’t even thought about how to cross the language barrier. Tapping the pen against her chin, Jessa began to think about ways to teach Rinker how to read what she wrote in the fastest and easiest way possible. “You know. This isn’t going to work,” she gave him a side glance. “You and I can’t read each other’s writing. Maybe we can write in both our languages under each question. That way we know what it means?”

At that moment, Rinker could see panic spread over her face. She went white as a ghost and her breathing started to increase and become labored. To a psychiatrist, it was clear as day. Jessa’s anxiety went from non-existent to panic attack in less than a second as she realized she was not writing in Rinker’s alphabet.

Jessa Novar

Her chest started to hitch as she no longer could take a breath. Her eyes got wide as if she saw something that terrified her. Instinctively, her hand when to her neck where Jessa began to rub and massage her throat. She knew she had crossed a line and now was going to have to pay for it. God was always watching even if he only made his presence known to the Divine in moments like this.

“Jessa?” Rinker questioned. “Are you okay?” He half cursed himself, that was, of course, a stupid question. There was clear evidence that she wasn’t alright.

She nodded yes hoping her refusal of his help would show God that she hadn’t lost the path. There once was a ship that put to sea. Jessa began to sing in her head the song that normally calmed her enough in these moments until the episode passed. Her mom had sung this to her for as long as she could remember. Today however, it did not seem to be enough. As the seconds passed and Jessa was finding it harder to breathe she looked at Rinker.

“I cah,” she struggled to get out each word now rubbing her neck hard enough to leave red traces from where her fingers touched the skin. “I…cah…t.” Jessa moved from sitting on her knees to standing on them. Soft hiccuping gasps were the only sounds she could give in response to his question. Reaching out with her hand, to steady her body some, Jessa rocked slowly back and forth still struggling to get out words. “Cah…n’t… bre,” she panted going between trying to seek help and resolve the situation on her own.

“Jessa has this ever happened before?” Rinker watched, high respiration coupled with difficulty breathing, sweating. It was likely a panic attack but he want to rule out other pre-existing medical issues. She was turning pink, and gasping but there was not actual restriction.

The winds blew up Her bow ducked down, she focused all her attention on the song in her head as she got off the ground, slowly pacing the open area of the floor, shaking her head rapidly in affirmation to Rinker’s question. Jessa was able to get a half breath in for every three she tried. Only her will stopped her from begging Rinker for help. Leaning on them this much had brought about God’s attention to her. She could fix this herself. By now she had stopped rubbing her neck and was yanking at the collar of her shirt trying anything to get her breathing back to normal. Her chest and forehead felt sweaty like she had been exercising for an hour instead of sitting and talking.

Rinker went to his desk and pulled out his medical bag. Pulling out his medical tricorder he waved it towards Jessa. “I’m going to take care of you.” Ironically he was a medical doctor, so when she was going to ask for Ervilla that would have back fired… but it turned out to be helpful now.

She nodded hearing his words but Jessa had a hard time remaining still as he scanned her. It was not that she was scared of him. Jessa was just starting to panick knowing there was nothing Rinker could do to stop God’s watchful eye on her. Instead of walking in her circles, she stood still, bent her knees, and attempted to put her head below her knees in her standing position as her recitations left her subconscious and began to fill the air. “Cah…tin…cah”

Skin temp normal, no swelling, it wasn’t allergic. Thyroid normal, adrenal elevated, heart healthy, no neurologic issues. “Jessa I think you are having a panic attack. It’s related to anxiety… Do you feel nervous?” He dialed up hypo-spray anti-anxiety and adrenaline would need a beta-blocker. Propranolol, the dial stopped on - old and reliable.

“Up,” He pushed her back to an upright position. “It opens the chest makes it easier to breathe even though it feels backward… its like stretching a cramp.”

Jessa let him right her but it did not seem to be helping. Standing up did nothing to make it go away. Jessa needed to be on her knees genuflecting for this to end. Still, she had trusted him before so Jessa would give his direction to her a chance.

She nodded but already started to try and focus on the song in her head to calm her nerves. “Bih…uh…suh..tal…ruh”, she began to mumble. It was hard to talk and breathe. Closing her eyes, Jessa blocked out everything finally feeling dizziness coming on as she continued to try and recite the song her mom taught her. “Wins…bloh…she....go,” Jessa’s breathing was becoming harder to manage. Her complexion was talking with a pinky glow about her face but the rest of her body was starting to feel clammy. Whatever she was saying sounded like jibberish. Its flow was disrupted by the gasps for air, yet it had a melodic quality compared to panicked stammering.

“I can give you this and you will feel better in about 20 seconds… or you can push through it probably will take over a half an hour.”

Heathcliff Rinker

“Hep…hep…me,” she looked at him briefly before looking back at the coffee table. Suddenly, Jessa knew how to fix it. If God was punishing her for sharing the holy word, she would get rid of it. She had grown too close to these people and now God was questioning her faith. Rogan had always told her when this happened in the past it was God seeing into her heart and not liking what he saw. The only way to fix this Rogan claimed was to repent to God. She needed to demonstrate her faith. Maybe if God saw she understood her mistake he would stop the cleansing. Still murmuring words, Jessa began to fist up the small slips of paper and repeating the jibberish words as Rinker worked. It might be too late for the song, but it was the only way she had ever been able to get through these moments. “Soo…whel…man…come…,” she gasped feeling like she was drowning. Tears began to form as she swiped at the table trying to get every slip of paper into her hands.

Jessa Novar.

Rinker nodded. He pressed the hypospray to her neck. This would get it into her system a second or two faster. She would feel the relief almost immediately and then it would spread and relax quickly after that. “You are going to feel better really soon.” Unless he was completely wrong. But what were the chances of that. Since she was Ian’s daughter there shouldn’t be any atypical responses. He swept the tricorder over her just in case there was some allergic reaction.

Rinker

“Ahhhhhh,” Jessa felt her lungs suck in a large gasp of air a half-second after she heard Rinker’s words. The sensation was like taking a deep breath after swimming underwater for too long. The only difference was she felt calm and relaxed as if she had just woken up from a nap. Letting the breath out she did not feel an urgency to suck in air. Looking down she saw the slips of paper still fisted in her hand and the mess of the table. She would clean it up after but there was something she had to do first. Jessa pulled her hands tight to her chest and closed her eyes preparing to repent and to thank God for his leniency with his message to her. In a low tone, she continued to speak. “Forgive me God for I have sinned against the path. They are not ready to read the divine and holy words you have given us. I see that now. I have forsaken the path and duty you set before me but I will not anymore from this day forward. I accept that I have disappointed you and will show you I am worthy of your love and devotion. Please do not forsake me. I am worthy of your love.” God had just shown Jessa that he did not approve of her association with the man. As much as she regretted it, Jessa could no longer associate with Rinker as she had been or risk another lesson.

“God didn’t have anything to do with it. It was the Propanonol. It decreases anxiety.” Rinker hated when people gave credit for his work to someone else. It happened frequently in therapy, but it still stung. “God decided to help you just after I gave you the medicine?”

Jessa stopped her praying hearing his proclamation but her face wore an annoyed expression. “Your medicine helped me achieve balance and peace faster than the song I use,” she conceded with an I could care less shrug, “but it was God that passed judgment on me causing it. He has been passing judgment on me since Rogan and the Elders rescued me from the school I told you about whenever I stray from his path.” Jessa had to make Rinker understand. “It started the night God reigned fire on our planet separating the devout from the nonbelievers. As I sat on the floor of the ship I had my first one. I felt like I was suffocating and I was so cold after…like I am now.” Jessa let out a shudder as the icy rush of adrenaline rushed into her body. “Rogan explained to me that I feel this way because God’s light is leaving my body. He also explained that to stop it I needed to pray and beg for forgiveness. So yes you did help but I need to be better so I do not disappoint him.” Another shiver ran down her spine as her body expelled the last of the adrenaline caused from the panic attack.

“My guess would be more a psycho-somatic caused panic attack your continued problems may be related to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is quite possible that you thought something should happen and your body made it happen. Getting excited will make it worse. You want to be punished for doubting what you have learned… and you made it so. That doesn’t make what you believe right.”

Opening her eyes, she looked at Rinker. “I don’t know what that means. Psycho some of the times or that stress thing,” she admitted, “but I know I don’t want it to happen.” Part of Jessa wanted to know more but the other part didn’t.
.
What Rinker was calling a panic attack turned out to be a moment of clarity for Jessa. She had been treating this expedition as a vacation and not a job. That would change now.

“You’re right. We have gone in circles talking since the moment I arrived but it’s because I didn’t understand you or your way of life,” she began to rip the pieces of paper up she had written on. “You say you have always been honest with me but your definition is veiled in blankets of deceit.” Jessa’s actions were becoming more aggressive as she ripped the paper. Her lips stretched into a thin, tight, purse and she began to clench her jaw tightly as she paused between words. She had been angry before but this was a quiet, more controlled anger than she had displayed before. With nowhere to destroy the paper slips fulling, Jessa shoved the three small slips of torn-up paper into her mouth. The small slips scratched at her throat as she worked the paper wad into the size of a large gumball in her mouth so it was possible to swallow it without any ill effects. She chewed it twiced before she forced it down with a swallow.

“The human body doesn’t have the enzymes to break down paper… It will just come out the other end in a wad. If you really want to destroy it… well I’d tell the replicator to break it down, but you probably would have more faith in fire.” He seemed completely un affected by her increase in agitation.

For the first time since she had met Rinker, Jessa felt furious with the man. He had never been dismissive towards her. He was the only person that wanted to learn, ready to see a glimpse of the path. Now Rinker was acting like Mardusk and at times Ian. He was ridiculing the Faith of the devout. Standing up she met Rinker’s gaze with a defiant expression. “Trife you Rinker.” Her tone was laced with acid. Telling him to trife off personally got a rise out of the man earlier. She wanted him to not be calm but as angry as she was. Her problem was Rinker did not seem at all affect by anything that happened. He wasn’t upset she had been disciplined by god. He wasn’t mad she was cursing at him. He didn’t feel sad Jessa’s world was crumbling. This was like kerosen being added to her fire.

“I hear you, but getting like this isn’t going to make anything better.”

“Getting like what,” she yelled. “You know what. Trife it.” Nothing seemed to fluster this man.

“Trife you and all your…your..,” Jessa was so mad she began to stammer and have difficulty retrieving her words. Jessa stood and began to pace trying to expell all the anger filling her body. “It was the holy word....and…and I was sharing it with you when I wasn’t supposed to. It had to be destroyed,” she looked at him hoping he understood how serious the event was. “You would not have destroyed it and how can I trust you would have if I asked you. You have that light slide. You could have told me you destroyed it but just as easily moved it from one place to another like you did with me on the Beacon of Hope. Yes, fire would have been better. Fire cleanses but you wont even give me a pen so I doubt you would have given me triffing fire.”

“I’ll let you do it, I’ll get you a bowl and a lighter.” He would have to by pass a couple of security steps to let the paper burn but most of this was a gesture, it was unlikely Jessa would calm enough to let him prove his willingness.

Jessa stopped ranting for a second as she processed what Rinker said. At times he seemed to be on her side and supportive. Other times it felt like he was against her. Jessa normally could size up people and their motives but Rinker always seemed to do opposite of what she expected.

“I hate you,” she screamed out. For a second her face and eyes registered shock as if she couldn’t understand why she said that. If Jessa was honest with herself, she would know why she said it. Over the past two days, Jessa had begun to see Rinker as Pellan. Now she realized Rinker had no attachment past his job to her. This stung more than she wanted it to mainly because it showed her how weak and needy she was becoming living among these people. If she stayed in this state of regret it would break her. Jessa blinked and replaced the emotion with the only other emotion more powerful than sadness.

“No you don’t. You’re actually mad at yourself. You shouldn’t be, by the way. Sometimes this happens, when people start questioning their core beliefs the go through stages of loss, it’s like losing a person.. the person in this case is your previous self. You started with denial, now you are at anger.” She kind of went through bargining already, but she probably would get more pissed if he explained that.

“Oh no I am pretty sure I really hate you,” she hissed in an angry tone, “and I don’t doubt anything. You…You are making me crazy because that is what your kind does.” Jessa knew now Rinker was a mind seer. She had no doubt about that.

“Why did you not tell me your true purpose,” she yelled at Rinker clenching her hands so that her knuckles were white. “Why call yourself something I did not understand until God had to show me the error of my assumptions.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about and you need to calm down or you might have another Panic Attack.”

“Yes it was a panic attack,” she looked at Rinker as if he was suddenly soft in the head. “The only thing you can do is panic when God’s wrath steals your ability to breath and and think…or control yourself. He has the ability to make you feel like you are drowning even if,” she felt her eye starting to become watery, “you are surrounded by air. It’s terrifying so you panic but I won’t,” she stabbed a finger at the ground, “have another own because I am smart. I am,” she wiped her eye with the sleeve of her shirt and then the other one. “I am not some kid that doesn’t understand rules or consequences. I am not stupid enough to repeat the things that will bring about another lesson. I also would have survived without your help.” Jessa took several steps towards Rinker. She approached him with the controlled anger of someone who had nothing to lose and the confidence they would win a confrontation. “Wanna know why?” It was rhetorical but begging for Rinker to ask.

“Because you don’t die from them. Rogan told me that and he was right. He stood next to me just like you but he did not pull out medicine or drugs. He let the darkness take me,” she wiped her eyes again. “Rogan told me if I was worthy I would wake up. If I was not I would die but I keep waking up because I ask God for help. I didn’t ask you.” For a brief second she pulled her gaze from Rinker because she was lying. Jessa did ask for help a few minutes ago but it was not from God like she claimed. Admitting this would only show weakness. “And I can’t ever ask for help from someone like you,” she brought her gaze back to him.

“I wouldn’t let you die if I could prevent it… and I’m sorry to keep telling you, God didn’t punish you nor did God save you. If that was the way it worked, everyone would already be punished or saved and the universe wouldn’t need you and your merry band of assimilators.”

“Stop making us sound like bad people. You don’t know me. You just want to only see the bad in us because that is what your kind does.”

“I only talk about what you have said, but its interesting you are judging me about things I don’t even understand… so can I say that’s because its what your kind does?”

“You are a triffing mind seer. Triffing hells of damnation Rinker why,” she looked at him with fury in her eyes? “Why would you commit such vile act against me? Mind seers and the art they practice is illegal…forbidden. Anyone practicing or associating with mind seers receives the death penalty.” Her eyes searched his frantically darting back and forth desperate for him to give her an answer or a way to remedy this situation however in her heart, Jessa knew there was no way out. “No adjudicator can save me. No amount of praying or repenting will stop this,” she scooped up the slips of blank paper, she had just cleaned up and hurled them at Heathcliff. As the slips fluttered to the ground is slow lazy patterns all about her and Rinker.

“You have sentenced us to death after another Ritual of Cleansing and yet you stand here like a martyr. Why?” Jessa screamed so loud her throat hurt.

Jessa Novar

The calm pose didn’t fade, he couldn’t help but turn his head from the throwing motion and fluttering papers… he was somewhat annoyed by that. “There are no death penalties in the Federation or any rituals of cleansing. Nor have I committed any crimes with you. So … ” He shrugged in confusion. “I am almost 50 years old and never hidden what I do… so … obviously I have not be sentenced to die nor have the 1000s of people I’ve served.”

“I don’t know what you mean by Mind Seer? I thought you meant a telepath, which I am not. You don’t have an issue with Evrilla so I know it isn’t a doctor… which I am. My other role is an asker of questions, which you have experienced both days you seen me so I don’t think it’s that… so speak plainly, what does a Mind Seer do?”

Rinker

“Mind Seers take what you know and twist your thoughts for their own purpose. They claim it is to help you but it is always to make you question God and his plan. Mind seers don’t guide you back to the path of enlightenment. Mind seers find the things that make you weak and use it to destroy the Galactic Union. They are dangerous. They cause unrest and violence. That is why the penalty is so severe. And you,” she looked at him with an expression of betrayal and rage, “even if unknowingly have just forced me to admit to the Elders I am cavorting with you. The only way I can save everyone,” she flung her hand symbolically at the door, “that loves me back home is to take my place at the Altar to pay for my sin.” Moving towards his desk, Jessa found the rubber ball they had played with the day before. Grabbing it she threw it with all her might at Rinker. She would have preferred to hit him like she did with Mardusk, but Rinker did not have the skills to defend himself like the security chief.

Jessa Novar

Rinker half twisted to avoid the ball, but he failed. Wasn’t the first time he was hit by a ball by an angry patient. He actually switched to the foam ball because last time he was hit the ball was far more firm and hurt a bunch. This ball only could hurt a little. “So again with another punishment for actually asking questions…” He shook his head. “What kind of world, religion doesn’t allow so much as a moment of confusion.” He raised his eyebrows.

“No I threw that ball at you to make sure you understand I am still mad at you,” she pointed to the ball on the ground. “And religion is about having faith and you can’t question faith,” Jessa looked at Rinker with a pleading expression. “Faith is just something you have or don’t. I have faith there is a better universe out there. I have faith that if I try harder and don’t give up I can show people that you don’t need war or fighting. God says faith is taking a step into the unknown because the path is there even when one can’t see it. Faith is believing that when you are at your darkest moments, God will send a light to lead you from the abyss of doubt,” Jessa desperately searched Rinker’s face for a hint that he understood why she did was she did and had done what she had done in the past.

“So that light is choking you to unconsciousness and then threatening pain and death? Light, is hope not harm…”

“You mistake my intention, its not the word of God I question, its the word of some men. God didn’t speak to you and put these rules in effect. Men told you, then told you not to question it, and then told you to do evil. Don’t mistake the questioning of evil as the questioning of God. God is good and love and salvation, not murder, oppression, and ignorance. If a man tells you that God wants you to do evil, then they are not speaking the word of God.”

Rinker

Jessa took a step back from Rinker and wore an expression as if he had just backhanded her. Her eyes were wide and she glanced at the door behind her. “You are talking about Rogan and Da Mu, aren’t you?” Jessa tensed every muscle in her body as the fight or flight response was again ramping up in her body.

Jessa Novar

“No I’m not, I’ve never specified anyone, because I don’t know them… I’ve literally never laid eyes on them. But its interesting that’s who you thought of when I spoke about telling you to do evil things. You make the inferences from what I say… you were thinking about them. How do you feel about that? Terrified?” Rinker used the whole of her words and body reactions. “I’ve never done a thing to you, never raised my hand, never threatened you, in fact, I’ve promised you safety… you’re not scared of me. So you tell me, why are you running away from the person who never did you harm, to the one who either has or promised to harm you?”

“Because you can’t get me home but they can,” she yelled. The volume and pitch were not filled with malice and fury this time but filled with fear and desperation. For two days, Jessa had been isolated from her people except for the brief encounter yesterday that went terribly wrong She had to find a way to see them again before this crew and their government, separated her from them forever. For the first time in her life, Jessa understood the desperate emotions she witnessed when families were separated for re-education. It had always made her uncomfortable yet until today, she had never been able to empathize with it.

“The home they stole you from?” She wasn’t perfectly clear what happened during her childhood, but that was the impression he received.

“No, I came willingly with them,” Jessa looked at Rinker concerned the confession would make him think she was far more privy to events than she actually was. “But it was impulsive of me. I should not have brought them. I just…didn’t think I could make the trip by myself. We are a team. I am never without them or they with me except when I am in school.” Jessa felt her stomach knot and felt anxious. She talked in riddles because Rinker’s questions were so open-ended. Every question he posed made Jessa have to backtrack or provide more information just to answer the simplest thing.

Rinker squinted and tilted his head. “That’s not the impression I got from the story you told earlier.” He could have been wrong, words can be elusive. More likely than not he had caught her in a deception. But since he didn’t have proof he didn’t want to call her a liar.

“Well,” she paused knowing where Rinker was lost. “There is the story of my life before the Elders and after. Both times I did go with them but it was a different willingness. On Nuat I went with them because I had no other choice.” Jessa had come here because there was no other choice to save her mom but it was not like they physically drug her onto the Beacon of Hope like when she was three years old. “I came to you Milk Way because I wanted to.” As soon as the words left her mouth Jessa let out a moan. “Okay maybe I didn’t want to but the point is they didn’t drag me here. You just make it so hard to be clear when I talk to you.”

The conundrum for Jessa was Rinker was correct. He had never threatened, cajoled, or even tried to trick her into talking to him. The result of this was Jessa’s gut told her Heathcliff could be trusted. On some level, this scared her more than not being able to get home. If he was right about the thoughts that filled her mind for hours later after they spoke, it would everything she believed in was wrong. Pellan had always told Jessa when she could not make up her mind on who to listen to the best decision was to go with her gut. Maybe she needed to not fight what her gut had been telling her for the past twenty-four hours.

Jessa closed the space between her and Rinker rapidly. When she was inches from the man, she dropped to her knees and grabbed Rinker’s hand in a manner she had seen many others do towards the Elders when they were desperate. Bringing his hand to her forehead, Jessa bent her head in almost a praying position. She would pay the cost of begging someone unfaithful for help later. If Rinker needed her to pledge her devotion to him she would. “Please let me see them.” Her voice became softer and punctuated by hiccuping gasps of one about to cry. “Please make them let me see them. You can do it. You can tell Ian he has to take me to them. Your neck has more circles. I know you can make them do that. Please,” she sniffed her nose back trying to hold back the cascade of emotion threatening to break her. “You can come too. You can meet them. You will see they are not bad people. If you do they will explain everything so you understand. Please help me make him see that I need them. He told him you can’t get me back home but they can. I want to go home.” The more Jessa spoke the more she began to ramble and become less coherent in her thoughts. Names blurred as everything became pronouns instead of specific people. None of that mattered to her. All that mattered to Jessa was to find a way to get back to the people she came here with so she could go home.

Jessa Novar.

“Stand up,” He reached down and pulled her to her feet. “We don’t ask people to get on their knees to us. I will never ask, or allow you to beg me for anything. If you need it we’ll give it to you without recompense. If you don’t we’ll do our best to protect you. Neither requires begging or barter.”

Jessa stood up blinking at his action and words. She had not expected this response from Rinker which Jessa was starting to realize was becoming the norm. The man seemed to want nothing from her. He didn’t care how powerful she was or what accolades she could bestow upon him. He didn’t hold his power and control over her. The more she socialized with Rinker, the more she saw him like Pellan. For an unknown reason to her, Rinker simply seemed to care about her general well-being and want nothing in return. “I don’t need to be protected. No one is going to hurt me. Not you or the Elders. I know that.” Her voice was calm but her expression showed she unconditionally believed her statement. “I…I just need help. I,” she looked up at him hoping he would at least empathize if not understand, “I miss them. The Elders aren’t always the best people but they are my people.” Her response and reasoning were child-like. At times even bad parents were still parents and it was clear on some level, Jessa saw the Elders as those people that had cared for her.

“If you don’t need to be protected then there is no reason to be nervous.” He looked at her. She was acting is she wasn’t on her knees 10 seconds ago begging to let him see her ‘friends’. “I just don’t know if I trust them with you.”

“Do you mean you don’t trust me talking to them or them talking to me? There is a difference but I can promise you I won’t say anything bad about you guys. I will tell them how you are taking good care of me and I swear I will not mention you are a mind seer. I will not paint you or your crew in a bad light. I just need to let them know I am okay.”

He paused, “I will speak to them, I don’t promise anything else. Perhaps they are someone you should speak to, but everything I see from you makes me feel that they terrorize you, not nurture you.”

Rinker

I will speak to them instantly translated into Jessa’s mind as Ian. Later that night she would realize and ponder that the them Rinker referred to were the Elders and not everyone she saw as an obstacle in her path. His concern that he thought the Elders would terrorize Jessa and not nurture her would have her replaying every memory with Rogan, Zala Tsu, and Da Mu trying to decide if Rinker’s suspicions were correct. At the moment, however, Jessa’s immature, impulsive side blocked out everything but the words she had been desperate to hear. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around Rinker’s waist and hugged him.

The second her body touched him, Jessa felt like a weight had been lifted off her body. It had been so long since she had hugged someone. The contact felt safe and comforting even if it was forced by her. It felt the same way last night when Ian held her as she cried. In the moment with Ian last night, and the moment now, Jessa didn’t feel alone even though neither Ian nor Rinker had promised her a thing in either situation. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Jessa Novar

He put his arms around her as well. As a rule he didn’t practice emotional contact with his patients. it created an unethical dilemma more times than not. But he guessed the exception proved the rule. Jessa was not a typical patient who had any form a supportive network. She was a brain-washed terrorized child who could make high risk choices if not given someone who would offer better ones. “I only promised I’d try.”

Rinker

“That is all we can ask of anyone right. To try.” Letting Rinker go, Jessa immediately walked to the door opening it. Her eyes met Ian slouched in the chair waiting patiently outside. She wasn’t scared of him hurting her but she was scared over the power Ian seemed to have over her life. Moving across the room, Jessa took Ian’s hand and silently led him back into Rinker’s office.

Ian didn’t resist but he was instantly suspicious of her actions. It was the first time Jessa had touched him without trying to take a swing at him. He didn’t say a word but looked at Rinker with a slightly perplexed expression wondering why they were both in his office. Yesterday, she seemed not able to leave the session fast enough. Ian didn’t have to be a professional therapist to know the best way to get Jessa talking was to say something she didn’t want to hear or just remain silent. He had no idea what had happened in the office today but Jessa looked like she had been through something.

Standing between both men like she was a mediator, Jessa took a deep breath. “Heathcliff and I have been discussing things and he thinks I should speak to you about visiting the Elders. He didn’t promise you would say yes or anything but,” she looked back at Rinker as if gaining some confidence by his mere presence, “he said he would try to talk to you about it.” Looking directly at Rinker, Jessa hoped he caught that she used the word try.

Jessa looked back directly at Ian and moved slightly so she was facing him with Rinker at her back. Whether it was subconscious or accidentally, visually it looked like Jessa had picked a team. “I don’t need to see them alone. You both can come. Will you please listen to him?”

Ian’s eyes instantly flicked up to meet Rinkers. He did not believe for a second, the psychiatrist and Jessa were a united front on her having access to the men in the brig. The fact that Jessa was not demanding it or blatantly twisting Rinker’s words from what Ian could tell gave him hope Rinker was helping Jessa. “I will listen to his recommendations,” Ian agreed carefully choosing his words to commit neither himself of Rinker to any course of action. “Why don’t you head on out with O’Neill and lemme talk to Mr. Rinker.”

Jessa opened her mouth to balk but closed it seeing Ian’s expression change slightly to a more stern expression. “Do you want me to talk to him or not?”

Jessa looked back at Rinker hoping the man would tell her what to do however she had little faith that would happen. Rinker never seemed to ever tell her directly to do anything. It was always choices with that man. Not saying a word, she walked to the door looking back only once before leaving the office.

As soon as the door closed, Ian looked at Rinker flabbergasted. “Okay, what just happened? How did you get her to actually talk to me and are we at the stage of giving her access to them? I know we talked about it yesterday but,” Ian let his voice trail off. He was not emotional in his response but more inquisitive.

Ian and Jessa