Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Charlie Bailey (Doctor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Counselor’s Office - Checking In
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Janna nodded slowly, observing tiny tells even Charlie herself might not be aware of. “I have read through all the notes that came with your file, yes. But that only tells me facts. It doesn’t me about your experience, and what you deal with. I was honest that I’m not here to dredge up things that don’t need to be, but I also have a really great BS meter and I know when people are in acceptance versus avoidance.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie gave a weak smile and nodded. She knew she needed to talk about it or it would be hanging over her and she wanted a fresh start here. “Well, I’ve certainly done my fair share of avoiding…” she said solemnly as she took a deep breath. “I guess I’ve got so used to rattling off the incident that it’s become a factual exercise for me, and I haven’t wanted to delve that deep into the effect it had on me.” She mused as she crossed her legs and tried to look relaxed. “I have nightmares about that night…” she added softly, involuntarily shivering as she thought back.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna lowered an arm from the arm rest to her lap and leaned forward ever so slightly. “These nightmares… what form do they take and how often are you having them?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie closed her eyes and took a deep breath to try and calm herself. “They are usually the same, just reliving that night, but they feel so real. I can feel the fire burning my arm and the smoke clogging my lungs and stinging my eyes…sometimes I can see my mother running to try and get to us before we are beamed to safety but she never gets to us in time…and I know that’s not true, the reports I have read say that she died in the initial blast but I’ve never been able to shake that guilt that I didn’t try and help her…” Charlie’s voice cracked with emotion as tears gently began to roll down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and sighed, bowing her head for a moment. “I used to have them every few weeks but recently they have become a lot more frequent, pretty much every night…” she added quietly.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna exuded understanding and comfort as she leaned forward. She was all too aware of the exact emotions going through Charlie, but she didn’t want to focus too much on them specifically at this moment. “Can you think of any reason why their frequency would increase? Had anything changed around that time?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie sighed and shrugged her shoulders as she tried to think of anything that may have triggered her nightmares. She closed her eyes briefly and shuddered as a particular memory came to light. She nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

“On my last posting we were called to render aid to a science research vessel that had been attacked by a rogue Breen warship. Thankfully we arrived in time to save the ship and chase off the Breen but we treated a number of casualties from the incident. One of my patients was a young girl who was on board the ship with her parents. She had been injured in the attack and had a number of burns from a small plasma fire. I was able to remain detached and treat her successfully with no lasting scarring,” she added as she instinctively patted her own burn scars. “I didn’t think too much on it at the time as I’ve developed a pretty good professional detachment but when I think back to that day, she reminded me so much of my little sister. The nightmares started getting more frequent after that mission,” she concluded, only just realising the impact it must have had on her. She had become so used to compartmentalising in her work, she hadn’t even considered that it might have triggered her until now.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

“Did you speak to anyone about the incident after it happened?” Janna asked. “Even in a general sense?” There were a couple directions she could take with her questions but as always she would let Charlie lead the way.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie shook her head solemnly, almost annoyed at herself for not making the connection sooner. “I didn’t really think about it at the time, I guess I’m so used to pushing those thoughts to the back of mind it’s almost unconscious now. When I was first training to be a doctor, it used to get to me a lot so I quickly learned to compartmentalise and push those thoughts and feelings down, I suppose it’s inevitable that they resurface in some fashion?” She suggested, doing her own bit of self-analysis.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)

Janna nodded with a soft smile. “Yes, often. And unfortunately, the more we bury things, the more they rear their ugly head when we least expect them to and sometimes in ways that make other things harder. But I think now that we know this is something to address, we can do so. And it’s up to you. We can keep talking for awhile longer, or you can come back tomorrow for a better chat after you’ve settled in on the ship a bit. You know yourself and you know what you need. It’s your choice,” Kingston said.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Charlie thought for a moment and gave a resigned sigh. “To be honest, I’d rather just talk now if you have the time? I want to start this posting with a clear head if I can?” She asked hopefully.

• Lt (jg) Bailey (Doctor)