Posted by Civilian Marishka (Lounge Host) in Intelligence Office - Department Briefing

Posted by Civilian Dawson (Intelligence Operative) in Intelligence Office - Department Briefing

(snip)

“You speak of some sort of vague danger. Teams are built on trust, and obviously I understand the need to keep oneself safe. Do you wish to keep us out of whatever this may be? Or do you want to take that plunge? I’ll respect your wishes. But when secrets become too big for us to handle, it’s best to have trusted allies.” said Dawson after letting Marishka have her say.

-Dawson, Intel

Faye glanced between them. “This might be obvious, but I… don’t trust all that easily. It’s not a skill that comes easily to me even when people have proven themselves to be trustworthy. It takes time.” An uneasiness swept through her, the kind that normally caused her to start pacing or oven flee. But Faye breathed through it, closing her eyes, allowing them to see her in this vulnerable state of uncertainty rather than shutting it down and ending the conversation. When her stormy grey-green eyes opened, she nodded slowly.

“It’s a long story I can’t and won’t get into, but several years ago I was undercover in the what remained of the Romulan empire. In executing the secondary of my orders I was caught, tried as an enemy spy and sentenced to incarceration, all in the same day. You know how much the Romulans love spies. But while I expected to be tortured and exectured that was not exactly what happened. I’m not going to outline my traumatic experience for you in detail, but what you need to understand is that the Tal Shiar mucked about in my brain. Treated it like a Human hard drive. And sometimes I get these mind dumps, as I call them, where I am flooded with information that flows so fast I can’t make sense of it. Images, text, all at speeds that put my coding to shame. Sometimes the effect on my nervous system requires medical attention. Other times, it’s fine and I can shake it off. And to be clear, this is going to look different than the dissociation I deal with sometimes because of my Borderline personality Disorder, and yes, I’m disclosing that as well so you are aware of some of the… challenges that might come up as we work together. I don’t mean harm, and I have done a shit ton of work to both handle all of this so I can be a functional person. As far as our work for the ship goes though, you need to understand that Intelligence and I have an agreement. I stay where they can keep on eye on me, because after earning a medal and promotions and proving I’m loyal, there is still a tiny bit of them that won’t ever trust me. And so, I play nice and they let me be, more or less. And I can continue to pursue being a starship captain one day.”

~Faye Calloway, CIO

Dawson could feel the emotions coming off of Faye. He kept his own very much in check as he understood trauma perhaps a bit too well. He had never been assimilated by the borg, but from the sounds of it, Faye had undergone it in one sense. The invasion of the mind was a hard thing to overcome, especially when it effected said person for the rest of their life. Dawson nodded understanding. “Starship captain, eh? I bet you’ll do well. Thankfully you have Marishka and myself to do all of the ‘not so nice’ work. I’ve lived a long life. The center chair was never something I was all too interested in. If I can help you reach that goal, I will.” He gave his head a slight bow to her before bringing his eyes back to meet hers.

-Dawson, Intel

Long ago and what seemed a lifetime away, a man named Riley had taught Marishka to read emotions a little better than even a Vulcan mentor, what seems like another lifetime ago, had tried to do. She could tell that Faye had been through quite a bit of trauma and perhaps Dawson had too. Mariska herself could write a book or two on trauma but, this wasn’t the time to discuss such things. She simply met Faye, and then Dawson’s eyes and nodded.

“In our own way, we each wear the ship like armor. Armor must be maintained. The ship must be protected from within and without. So we are the ones to do it. We each have our roles and I know we can perform them exceptionally. I think that we will work very well together. As I get to know each one of you more I’m certain I will open up more to you even though to look at me you would not think that’s in my nature.”

• Marishka

Faye shook her head. “I will admit that I can leap to conclusions if I’m not careful, but I know far too well that people are never what they seem and always far more than they seem. And many exist in a state of contradiction.” She blew out a breath. “I’ve had ever reason to leave Starfleet, on more than one occasion. Many people expected it of me because I refused to play by their exact rules. Rules I couldn’t always make sense of either. But a lot changed after I returned from Romulan space. I changed. And I went through another dramatic change when I was at my last posting on the Manhattan. I can’t predict what will happen, and I wish I could say that no one will get hurt along the way, but the one thing I do know about what the Tal Shiar did to me, is that they gave me a gift. The mind dumps can be controlled so they don’t harm me so badly, but I still don’t understand their purpose. It was never made clear to me. I’m sure that Intelligence assumes it was to plant information in me and send me back to the Federation as a double agent for them. In fact, several people have more or less said so. But I’m not convinced that was it. They never broke me, not for lack of effort, but because the pain they inflicted had a finely honed purpose. I can’t change what happened, but along the way, if I can find a use for all this information in my brain, then I will do so. So long as it can’t harm anyone. That’s my line. I won’t be dragged into other people’s games again. I’m done with it.” She was saying this so they understood exactly where her ethics stood and the lines she wouldn’t cross. She had been asked t compromise herself too many times. No longer.

~Faye Calloway, CIO