Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval

Posted by Lieutenant Shock (Chief of Security) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Janna was quiet for a moment as she digested not just his words but also the sensations that had reverberated through her body. It was more than a sympathetic understanding. Janna was all too aware that this was her… new awareness at play. And it was, like anything else in her therapist’s arsenal, a tool. But it was also a tool she had to wield very carefully lest she erode the carefully trust they had already established.

“Tell me about joining Starfleet and being here on the Athena now. Does it feel like a natural extension of your experiences?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“A leading question, counsellor,” commented Shock.

“Is it, now?” she said, her grass green eyes sparkling.

“I believe I am following a natural trajectory, where the decision Vasar – my former betrothed – and I made all back then came acted as a catalyst initiating the same trajectory. If it were not for that decision, I should not think I would sit here with you here today, nor have embarked on a career on Starfleet. As for joining this ship, the Athena, it was logical after having been mentored by my chief security officer through the department head course – remotely via the Academy – but moreover, the same trajectory took me to....”

Shock paused. Suddenly he sensed that Kingston perhaps knew of Tkar. But how could she know? She was, as far as he was aware, only human. Was he perhaps so open-book that she could read into it?

”… to events that quickened my departure from that ship and my arrival here. Logic has brought me far, both in my own self-development, but also literally, here among the stars far away from my former home.”

– Lt Shock (CoS)

Janna tilted her head ever so slightly. “You hesitated in relating these events. Why?” Now that was intentionally not a leading question and Janna, as she almost always did, had a purpose to everything she did in a session. She could sense the shifts in him and something was confusing him, but as she couldn’t read his thoughts there was no why to know the cause. It was only logical then to investigate that obvious moment.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“Because it is private and sensitive,” he replied, sounding calm but feeling suddenly as if he were naked. It was as if he had been seen doing something he shouldn’t have. Would his hesitation reflect negatively on him? “I do not often speak of private matters. I am – as most members of my culture are – not accustomed to it.”

Would it be important for Dr Kingston to know of Tkar? Or why he hesitated? What was the purpose of her intervention. Where was she going?

He tried to ascertain what the time was. He picked up his PADD to check the time. Still a long time to go. He put it down again.

“Why do you ask?”

– Shock

Janna said nothing as she considered him, having been watching his body language. Evasiveness was nothing new to her. It was practically cliché. But at the same time she fell into the camp of therapists that fully believed you had to earn the right to hear someone’s story. If there was an issue they needed to work through, you had to build rapport and trust. That trust could be thin, even in a first session. “There is nothing wrong with privacy and I don’t prod where I’m not wanted unless I feel more harm will come from my lack of intervention. That’s the duty I have. My duty in session is to address any concerns that there might be about settling in on the ship. I will let you know that I have done a great deal of research and work in trauma, so if there is anything ever that you wish to discuss, I am someone you can turn to. All I will ask about your hesitation is whether it is a situation that could impact your ability to do your job as Chief if Security. And consider that question carefully as you are responsible for the safety of the entire ship and the over one thousand people here.”

~Janna Kinston, CNS

The way that Kingston answered Shock’s question was unexpected. He had thought she would ask for some other reason, that his expectation of her answer would perhaps be indicative of perhaps an inability to understand a Vulcan psyche, or lack of respect for Vulcan cultural norms. Kingston’s answer was thoughtful. He could feel empathy from her – was she radiating it perhaps? or was he reading in too much in the situation? Do all clients second-guess everything when in a room with a counsellor? So many questions, but he figured, that, perhaps, all his questions were indicative of something. Did he feel like he had to hide something? Was he embarrassed? Surely not? He was Vulcan, he doesn’t feel embarrassment. Then, yet, why would he not think (or feel for that matter) that bringing up Tkar would be helpful?

He quickly realized, in the midst of his thousand thoughts, that he had remained quiet for much longer than would be usual in a normal conversation. He wondered if Kingston would make a note about “turn-taking” and his inability to keep to it properly, after he had left. He wondered also if she would see it as indicative of trauma (was he traumatized?), of other mental issues (if so, did that mean he had issues to work out?), or perhaps, simply, that he was Vulcan? Is Vulcan culture perhaps traumatising? The constant repression of emotions, the shaming (an emotion!) of emotion (!) in an “emotionless” society?

“Eighteen weeks and three days ago”, he started, pausing again for a some seconds, “I underwent my latest pon farr. I trust you know what it is,” he said rhetorically.

“It was on the Endeavour. In this state of heightened emotiveness, emotional dysregulation, and sexual impulsivity, I entered a short sexual relationship, lasting a few hours, with a colleague of lower rank. There was thus a lack of equality in the relationship, no matter how short it was, where I, the party of higher rank, had a greater ethical responsibility to ensure consent. Philosopher grapple with the question whether consent really can be given in an asymmetrical power relationship such as that where ranks differ significantly.”

He paused. He broke eye contact, and looked aside for a split second, before returning to the conversation.

“I join the philosophers in asking that question. My colleague was not Vulcan and I do not know of his–” he paused, realising he had used a pronoun of his colleague, and thus accidentally ‘outed’ himself. Kingston would now be in a select club of three knowing this deepest secret of his, along with Tkar and Vasar. He continued, “knowledge of my altered state. We did not speak afterwards, either, and I consciously chose to avoid him. I had decided I would seek him out when I was emotionally regulated again, back in a serene state of non-emotiveness and logic. I was, however, reassigned here thereafter.”

Shock’s voice was clear, emotionless but rhetorically skilled. His face remained calm and serene-looking.

“As for your question, which I have not yet answered, is that this was an example of a situation where my inner self affected my work. I engaged in a wrongful relationship with a colleague and thereafter abandoned him without sufficient debriefing. It was unethical and unprofessional, but, perhaps, somewhat excusable under the unique circumstances. I regret it nonetheless.”

“This is unlikely to be repeated, as it is another six and half standard years, give or take a few months, before I should be in a similar state of altered consciousness. Your question carries weight, that I, now, that I have given you – unexpectedly from my point of view – a monologue of my inner conscious narrative.”

He paused once again, and leaned forward to Kingston, ever so slightly:

“Perhaps we could explore that question further.”

After all, the safety of a thousand people was a big responsibility. Meeting Kingston has put things into perspective, and he had only just begun. For the first time since he had sat down with her, he actually looked forward to seeing how the conversation would move on further.

– Lt Shock (COS)