Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Counsellor’s Office- Calloway’s Eval

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Counsellor’s Office- Calloway’s Eval

(snip)

Suddenly there was a great deal of energy in er body and it roiled about inside her uncomfortably. Her chest felt tight and those deep breaths she had already been forcing herself to take were becoming more difficult. Her mind was flooded with too many words and none of them were in any way coherent and likely to end this session (which would not be in her favour). But she could nod her head, play along and they could end this.

Except that certain words of Rollo’s were stuck in her head. “I don’t know how!” she said, gritting her jaw. “You say it like it’s so easy, like everyone can just snap their fingers and figure it out. Or maybe, more likely, someone taught them or showed them what that looked like. People tell me what to do, but no one ever tells me how. Why is this so difficult for people to understand?” She wasn’t shaking exactly but there was a tremble in her body she couldn’t quite stifle. it was good for Rollo that she was showing this much restraint. Earlier in her career she most definitely hadn’t!

~Faye Calloway, Data Specialist

“It isn’t easy and I’m not trying to imply that it is. But you have to start somewhere. Saying no one taught you how to move on, isn’t good enough. Most of us learn to deal with our emotions alone because what works for one person doesn’t always work for another.” The counselor could see that Faye was making progress—not a great deal, but at least she was open to working on the problem. Zef got up from the couch and moved to sit on the coffee table in front of the data specialist. Encroaching in her ‘personal space’ was another obstacle she threw into Faye’s path. The counselor held out her hands, palm up. “Give me your hands, Faye.”

—Rollo, CNS

Everything inside her pushed her to lean back but Faye resisted the impulse for one simple reason: curiosity. She was used to the different ways that counsellors operated and had experienced the gamut. Some had grown tired of trying to figure her out and Faye couldn’t blame them. She didn’t exactly help in many cases. But that was also before. Before when she had gone out of her way to never reveal anything of consequence. Before, when she had been clinging to an old promise that hadn’t served her. Before.

That was not now, even if it felt like there were still many threads pulling her back to then. And yet despite her curiosity there was confusion. It was a simple request and yet it was so, so much more. Hands unfurling, nails slipping away from the skin they had indented, Faye took a breath and very cautiously reached out. Her eyes flicked to Rollo’s ever so pale hands before she focused on the woman’s pale eyes, similar to her own but blue toned. Trembling fingers connected and she resisted the urge to see that her hands were actually touching, trusting instead in the sensations she could feel.

~Faye Calloway, Data Specialist