Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Promises and Connections

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Promises and Connections
Posted by… suppressed (23) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Aasrel glanced at her and was surprised to see the doctor was right. He scowled though, “So I can comb hair but I can’t or can barely walk. That’s perfect.” He sighed softly. “No, I know… I just…” He shrugged. “I just want to be myself again.”

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded, “I do understand. This is promising though,” he nodded at the hand, “especially for the fine motor skill you need as a doctor. Your limbs are still sore and swollen from surgery. As that goes away, you will see a noticeable difference.” He gave them both the hypo he had prescribed and then left them alone for awhile.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel nodded. He knew that, but it was hard to keep in mind for oneself. When he left, Aasrel lay back against Bethany with a soft sigh.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany slept for a few more hours. When she woke she was disoriented and it put her on edge. She listened to her surroundings. The smell of antiseptic, air scrubbers, bio monitors, the scent of Aasrel’s soap. They were in sickbay still. The reason for the grogginess flashed to mind and she held her breath and focused. Making her heart calm. No need - the medication did that for her. She recognized the effect of her anti-anxiety meds. Aasrel seemed to be sleeping, or at least resting, so she didn’t move.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel moved as soon as she did. “How are you feeling? Any better?” He asked softly, looking at her.

~ Izei, CMO

Her head tipped back, she looked haunted. “I don’t feel like me. I guess Martin gave me the Benzodiazepine. I hate the way it makes me feel. I guess I have to go back on the Ativan again?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel nodded. “For a while, yes.” He still hadn’t been able to sleep. She could feel his worry. He smiled at her. “Hopefully you’ll be feeling better before too long and be able to come off them.”

~ Izei, CMO

“I’m sure I will.” It was a platitude. She was soul weary and this was the straw. Bethany had hit her limit, but there was no way to say, ‘I quit. No more.’ She had to keep going until she couldn’t.

“You aren’t sleeping. I’ll ask Martin to put me in a different room. You can’t heal if you don’t sleep.” She was worried for him, and she was making it worse making him worry.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“No! Don’t leave.” Aasrel hugged her tightly. “I’m healing fine. Martin pointed out I was combing your hair with my fake fingers.” He put his head against her. “I’ll worry more if you get moved. I think it’s better for both of us if you stay.”

~ Izei, CMO

“Okay.” She tucked her head back onto his shoulder and closed her eyes. There was some reason she should insist, but her mind just wouldn’t hold a thought. A side affect of the Benzodiazepine. It was the same for her emotions. She knew she was afraid and deeply sad, but she couldn’t actually feel the emotions. It was like her body, mind, and soul were floating away from each other. If she could feel she would have cried, but she couldn’t.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel rested his head against hers. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll ask him for a sleep aid. Just… Please, don’t go anywhere.”

~ Izei, CMO

Her answer was slow in coming. A benefit of telepathy he could tell it was just slow going and not hesitation or double speak. “Won’t. I promised.” She’d promised to be with him through it. She always kept her word.

So did Elias…her grandfather, but she didn’t twist her words.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

He smiled and cuddled into her. I love you. He said softly to her, telepathically. “Do you want me to call him back and ask for something?” Her telepathy wasn’t so suppressed she couldn’t sense him, and she’d be able to tell he was worried, exhausted, sore, and just generally upset.

~ Izei, CMO

“If you want.” She needed him to be okay, but she had this unrepressable drive to not force him. I won’t go… I’m so tired.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

He pressed the call button. The benefit of having his telepathy, he knew ‘if you want’ actually meant ‘please do so you’ll be okay’. Aasrel hugged her tighter. I trust you. I’m just worried for you.

~ Izei, CMO

Me too. Her mind was like the static on an old television set. She thought she might be hungry, but she couldn’t focus enough to decide. Oblivion or fuzzy consciousness were her choices.

Martin walked in. “Aasrel?” he asked softly.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“I need a sleep aid. I… haven’t slept since Bethany’s breakdown.” Aasrel admitted to the doctor. He would hate to feel like Bethany. Her mind felt unclear and fuzzy. I hope you feel better soon.

~ Izei, CMO

Martin nodded, “Of course. How is she?” Bethany was aware of Martin but simply couldn’t muster a response for the doctor. Martin have him the hypo and then went about helping to settle them both more comfortably. Bethany protested No when Martin lifted her to move her slightly. Then he tucked a blanket around her and scanned her. He turned the lights down as he left.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

He’s just trying to help. Aasrel said soothingly. There were pillows under his arm and leg and Bethany was on his left. “She seems better. Just doesn’t like how the meds make her feel. They’re making her head fuzzy, making it hard to feel.”

Bethany could tell when the medicine took effect. He started to feel very drowsy. Not long after, he drifted off, resting against her.

~ Izei, CMO

As he relaxed and drifted off, so did Bethany. She slept, unaware of what went on around her. Her sleep was odd, full of dreams but strangely dreamers at the same time. But the medicine did keep her fight or flight response controlled.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel slept long and hard. His body needed it. The next few days were more of the same. PT and sleep mostly. And worrying about Bethany. He was still struggling with nightmares. About the Borg, about Bethany, about both. He was showing improvement, and some of his PT sessions were easy, some were harder. The hard ones left him sore and tired.

~ Izei, CMO

She wasn’t hungry, the medication numbing her to most everything. She snacked if prompted. Her behavior was despondent-like but really it was just side effects of the medicine. By the end of the 3rd day Bethany was more aware, but still slow and a bit in a daze. While Aasrel was doing PT, T’Jal came to speak with her. She was still a certified counselor and she has the best chance to get Bethany to talk.

Bethany did, but still not tell anyone what had caused her breakdown, or that Aasrel had heard it in her dreams.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel was pushing himself hard. He refused breaks from PT. He pushed hard each and every time. His reasoning was twofold: to get as close to normal as he was capable of (he was still upset about the prosthetics, he just hadn’t brought it up because Bethany had enough of her own problems), and because maybe if he could get better, Bethany would worry less about protecting him. He could start self defense lessons again.

~ Izei, CMO

Bethany knew he hated them. Her guilt over it was profound. If she hadn’t asked Jake to bring Martin… She had though. She hated the medicine, she couldn’t do anything but sit and stare into space. She was awake more, but that was it. She couldn’t help Aasrel; she wasn’t with him during his PT like she promised. Nothing would ever make her stop worrying.

Aasrel had told her before and would again, that whether she’d called them or not it would have happened. That if it weren’t now, it could’ve been when they were away from help that his limbs began to hurt, stop working, and would’ve had to go anyway.

The fourth morning, Martin came to give her the medication. She stared at him while he checked them with. “No.”

“No? No what, Bethany?”

She pointed turedly at the hypo. She hated how hard it was to concentrate. “No more.”

Martin looked at her. He spoke gently but clearly and gave her time to think. “Alright. The Ativan then. If you have another breakdown, I will give you the Benzodiazepine. Do you understand?”

Bethany wanted to glare at him and tell him where he could put his hypo, but she didn’t care enough to. “Yes.”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

Aasrel gave her a look. “Bethany… Are you sure you’ll be okay?” He reached for her hand, “I know you don’t like it, I just want you to be okay.”

~ Izei, CMO

Her fingers curled around his. The way he looked at her made her feel like she was missing something. She just couldn’t seem to think through the fog. He wanted her to take it. “Okay,” I’ll take it Rel.

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

No, he didn’t want her to blindly agree. “It’s okay, we’ll see how you do without it.” He said softly, looking at her.

~ Izei, CMO

Okay. She laid her head back and simply waited. Martin nodded, “We’ll wait until after she eats dinner for the Ativan. I want the Benzodiazepine to be mostly out of her system before I give it to her. She’ll still be feeling the effects of it for most of the day anyway. How is she eating?”

Lt. Cmdr. Gadi, COS

“She’ll snack if I prompt her to, but she’s not really eating,” Aasrel told him. “I’m not sure if taking her off the benzos will help or make it worse.”

~ Izei, CMO