Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in When the Other Shoe Drops

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in When the Other Shoe Drops

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in When the Other Shoe Drops
Posted by… suppressed (91) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Finally, Bethany was released from sickbay. There was no reason to keep her. Her blood volume was fine, the psilosynine was no longer in her blood stream (something much worse was), her immune system was back to normal, no more racing heart or labored breathing, no fever. She was in perfect health.

Bethany entered Aasrels quarters behind him. She hadn’t wanted to go back to hers. Not yet. She just wanted to be with Aasrel. When the door closed, she looked at him and then walked into his arms.

Bethany

Aasrel opened the door to his quarters and stepped him. When she came to him he hugged her tightly and rested his head against her. “Our first time alone in… how many days?” He asked softly.

~ Aasrel

Bethany rested in his arms, but groaned softly. “Far, far too many.” She kissed his cheek softly and then leaned back to look at him. “I don’t think I’ll know what to do with no one to check in us every half hour, and trying to listen to our conversations.”

Bethany

Aasrel smiled down at her, hugging her close to him. “I have a few ideas, depending on what you’re up for,” he said. He pulled her toward the bed and sat down. “You’re healthy, too. No more time limits, no more illness hanging over your head, no more symptoms. Whatever will you do?”

~ Aasrel

Bethany let him tug her after him and sat down. She laughed softly, “Anything? I don’t remember what that’s like. Maybe you can show me?”

Bethany

Aasrel kissed her, long, slow, and gentle. “I don’t know, my brain still has some healing to do. Maybe we need to figure it out together.”

~ Aasrel

“Well I’ve heard tell that the best ways to help the brain heal is to help trigger memories and play games.” She grinned, wrapped her arms around him, and pressed in close. “If my memory hasn’t been lost to me, I do believe I remember you like having me this close.”

Bethany

Aasrel hugged her, pulling her in closer. “I think it was this close,” he said and smiled. “The hypo pat down would be welcome too, so long as you’re very, very thorough,” he looked down at her, grinning widely.

~ Aasrel

Her hands began to slide up his arms. “Well after all the time I’ve had off, I could really use the practice.” Rhen around his collar and into his hair, around his waist, his ankles, cuffs of his pants and inside his boots. She checked each pouch and loop of his belt, and then she checked his pockets. An inside pocket of his best her brows raised and she looked at him. “You didn’t hide this quite well enough, Doc.” She held up a hypo and wiggled it back and forth and then tossed it onto the desk. “You weren’t going to try and sedate me my first day being healthy were you?”

Bethany

He was liking her touch, she could tell. He wanted her to just keep searching.... but then she found it. Aasrel grinned. “More like… insurance. Can’t have you randomly collapsing on me, just in case this somehow… wears off or something.”

~ Aasrel

Her heart stopped, and then started pounding, but not in a good way. Did he think she was going to get sick again? She did, nothing so miraculous could be real. Could it?

She smiled at him, “Well now that I know you hid one, I’ll have to search again.” She proceeded to do just that and took her time. “Hmmm… I didn’t find another one.” She looked him up and down and then moved close into his arms, “I think I’ll risk it,” and then she kissed him.

Bethany

Aasrel felt her fear and immediately felt bad. Sorry, his mind whispered to hers, his mouth occupied by hers. He hugged her tightly to him, pulling her into him. When the kiss broke he grinned. “I get to look forward to many, many more of those.”

~ Aasrel

Between kisses she whispered absently, “For what?” She sighed as he held her tightly. “As many as you want Rel, for as long as you want.”

Bethany

Aasrel glanced at her. She’d heard him before, he could project thoughts. He figured that was it. “I just… I didn’t mean to scare you. With what I said.” He shook his head. “You heard that, huh?”

“You didn’t scare me more than I already am.” She rubbed her nose across his. “Yeah, I heard you. Nothing’s wrong with my ears.” She chuckled and kissed him softly. Bethany didn’t realize it was his thoughts. It had sounded as clear as speech to her.

Aasrel chuckled softly. “Nothing’s wrong with your mind’s ear either, apparently, because I didn’t say that out loud.”

Bethany didn’t think anything more of it. She knew Aasrel was a strong telepath and could project his mental voice to others. He’d done it before. She was glad for him, that everything was coming back so quickly for him.

“What if I want more than that?” Aasrel said, voice soft, hands starting to explore her some more. “Are you up for that, too?”

~ Aasrel

“Yeah, I’m up for that.” She liked the way it felt to be in his arms. “As much as you want.”

Bethany

He smiled and pulled her into him. “Good. Because I’ve miss having you.”

~ Aasrel

“Well you don’t have to miss me anymore…”

Some time later…

Bethany stretched languidly. “I thought when I got better, I’d do nothing but sleep for days. I could sleep, but I don’t want to. I blame you for that.” She winked at him and sighed delightedly.

Bethany

Aasrel grinned. “Why would you want to sleep when I’m here? I can’t imagine wasting time I could have with you.” He said, pulling her close to him again. “I’m glad there are no more time limits.”

~ Aasrel

“Mmmm I don’t want to sleep.” She rested her hands over his chest and propped her chin on them so she could look at him. “Me too, but now I’m impatient to have this mission over.” She glanced towards the door a slight look of annoyance on her face and then turned back to him. “So let’s go back to not wasting time.” She leaned in close and kissed him.

Bethany

Aasrel kissed her back and smiled. “I don’t care where I am so long as it’s with you.” He said, in between kisses. There was a sense of forlorn lostness, he still didn’t feel like he could go home. It was mixed with his distorted and displaced sense of self, but a strong love for her, belonging with her.

~ Aasrel

Bethany suddenly felt empty and lost. It was a feeling she was all too familiar with. She had learned to put it to use and not let it dictate to her. She couldn’t seem to push past it though. It rose up quite suddenly and seemed to drown her.

One moment she was quite involved in kissing him and the next she was sobbing. She was clinging to him as if he was a life raft. She had no family, no home, nothing but him.

Bethany

The feeling quickly shifted to an intense, all consuming worry and concern and Aasrel hugged her tightly, trying to get her to stop crying. “What’s wrong? Bethany?”

~ Aasrel

Her voice broke on racking sobs. “I have nothing and no one. I want to go home and I can’t. I’m not me anymore. Get these things out of me!” His voice sounded funny, like there was a pitch to the timbre of his voice she hadn’t noticed before. It made him sound more worried than she’d ever heard from him.

She leaned back and looked at him, brushing his hair away from his face and resting her forehead against his. “It’s okay.” He could feel it, and it was weird. She she went from deep despair to deep aching worry for him like flipping a switch. There was also a deep undercurrent of confusion at her behavior, but she couldn’t seem to do anything about it.

Bethany

Aasrel’s brow furrowed as he looked at her, her emotions shifting.... like his. His expression cleared and instead he grinned, he found this quite humorous really. He did his best to center himself to help Bethany. Some of the lostness, the body dysmorphic self hatred remained, but it wasn’t so bad. There was an over current of care and love for her, and humour. He decided to give her a little test. Bethany.... You are okay, okay? He didn’t try to project the thoughts, just let it hang, see if she’d pick it up on her own.

~ Aasrel

Her eyes were closed as she tried unsuccessfully to center herself, so she didn’t see him grin. Then suddenly she was calmer. It was weird and disturbing. She didn’t see him not speak either. “I am not okay. Something is wrong with me. I’m still sick, and it’s not funny!” She was truly upset now, confused, and scared.

Bethany

Aasrel hugged her tightly, conveying a sense of calm and normalcy. Trying to keep her calmer. You’re okay, Bethany. Your paracortex is working the way it’s supposed to. You’re experiencing emotion the way I do. It was too easy for him to think it rather than speak it. It was so easy for him to convey his ideas that way, along with the emotion behind them. With his words came that same caring, reassurance.

~ Aasrel

The words were like a knife, right through her soul. She was shattering into millions of pieces - no more than dust to be blown and scattered and forgotten. She wasn’t enough as she was.

Then it was hidden behind a mask of temper that he would know was 100% fake. She couldn’t even summon the lazy self-deprecating humor and flirtatiousness that she showed everyone else. She hurt too much.

She pushed away from him, hard and gathered her clothes. “My paracortex doesn’t work. It never has, and it’s not going to miraculously start working just because you wish it.” Her voice ground out because it was the only way to not cry. She was shattered. She jerked her clothes on. “Thanks for saving my life.” Where was her shirt?

Bethany

Bethany felt hurt, heartbreaking hurt, and it was plain on Aasrel’s face. For a silent, tense second, Aasrel sat too shocked to do anything. Finally he managed, “Bethany, wait! Please… Why would I do that to you? Why?”

~ Aasrel

She stood, her back to him and ramrod straight. As if the slightest breeze might knock her over into broken rubble on the floor. His shock and confusion was palpable in his voice. She didn’t know why he would do that. She never would have thought it mattered to him. Maybe he didn’t know it mattered to him. She knew she could never give him the kind of intimacy, the kind of connection, that was so normal for Betazoids. She had hoped that giving him back his telepathy and being open to him reading her would make up, just a little bit, for what she couldn’t give him. She loved him so much, she hoped it would be enough even if she was never deserving.

“Look,” her voice wavered, “I know you aren’t being cruel. You just want to be able to share something really unique with me. You can’t help hoping. It’s okay. I understand. So better I not to waste your time.” Her voice cracked and she inhaled sharply, and turned into a hint of a sniffle. She dashed a tear off her face. “Something’s still wrong with me, obviously, and when this is over I’ll be in prison anyway.”

“What?” He sounded utterly confused, the emotion swirling around him. “I don’t… I wasn’t- Bethany, you know I don’t care about that. Besides, if you’re going to prison, so am I.”

She didn’t want to go. She wanted him, desperately. She had even entertained the childish fantasy that they might get married. Her mind felt so muddled and overwhelmed. Maybe it was good he had brought the hypo for her.

She didn’t even realize she had been responding to his thoughts.

Bethany

He stood and got in front of her, arms gently on her shoulders… totally undressed. Bethany, look at me. You trust me, don’t you? Would I lie to you? Do I seem like the type that hopes for things that can’t be? That answer was no, or should be anyway. It was why he had no hope for his own future. His desperation was obvious. He took a deep breath and then spoke aloud. “Focus on me and only me, okay?”

~ Aasrel

She stood like a deer, afraid to move. She didn’t respond to his thoughts at all this time. In fact her mind was jumbled and overwhelmed. She couldn’t think straight, and she certainly couldn’t get her emotions under control. Something was wrong. She wasn’t even sure how she felt or why she was crying. Why had she been upset? Why was Aasrel looking at her so worriedly?

She sank to the floor, knees pulled up and hugged them. She felt crazy. Her head hurt. “Why is everyone so loud?!” She looked up at him, “What’s wrong with me?”

Bethany

“That guy’s transfusion must have healed you. I mean, it even rerouted your neurotransmitters.” His voice was calm and soft as he knelt down in front of her. “You can here my thoughts. You’re feeling my emotions and the others on the ship, and you’re having trouble separating them from your own.”

~ Aasrel

Her brows pulled together. “Aasrel… I can’t do that.” It was outside of the possibility of reality for her. It was a nice hope, but…

Everything was so loud. Were they having a party out there?

His explanation certainly would explain why she felt so crazy, but she was too muddled to make the connection. She couldn’t think straight at all.

Bethany

“Focus on me,” Aasrel said again. “Tune out all the other noise and just listen to me. Tell me what I’m feeling. I promise, you’ll find that you can.”

~ Aasrel

She felt like she was twelve again. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t feel or hear anything. Except she wasn’t frightened of Aasrel. He wasn’t angry at her, he was worried… and hurt. Her breathing slowed some as she looked at him. Why was he hurt? She had hurt him. Why did she say that? She knew he wasn’t like that. She felt weird, crazy, out of control, like someone else was controlling her mouth and emotions. Like a puppet. Her pupils contracted with pain and lost focus. She felt sick to her stomach. “Why are they so loud?” It was painful it was so loud, she couldn’t focus, it was like trying to listen to him across a stadium of screaming people.

Bethany

“You’re not used to it. You will be.” Aasrel pulled her to him and hugged her. “I promise, I’ll be with you every step of the way, okay?”

~ Aasrel

The sound of his voice helped focus her mind away from the mental noise. She folded against him feeling small and adrift. “I hurt you. I didn’t mean it. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t think that. I’m sorry.” She had felt scared and hurt and heartbroken at the time, but she didn’t really feel like that. She didn’t understand. She’d hurt him and she felt ashamed over it.

Bethany

Aasrel hugged her tightly. “I know you didn’t.” He felt her shame, that her apology was sincere. He kept himself calm, despite his own hurt, his own insecurities. “Keep focusing on me, okay? It’s really overwhelming when it starts but it’ll get better.”

~ Aasrel

She could hear his heart beating in her ear. She could hear a hint of pain in his voice. She had hurt him, really hurt him. She didn’t even know why. Bethany was by no means perfect, she had hurt people before, even on purpose. She always knew why she had, what had motivated it. Even when she was wrong she knew why she acted the way she did. She didn’t understand this, not at all. It made no sense whatsoever.

He was calm and centered. He was steady as he held her, but she felt his pain and doubt as her own and it twisted her gut and burned in her chest. She didn’t understand that either. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aasrel.” Her breath shuddered out. My father was right about me.

Bethany

Aasrel focused on his love for her, on their first real date. On the day his own telepathy had started to come back. He let the love and care and thankfulness wash over him and to her. You’re not. You’re not like him at all. You were scared. You’re okay, though. His ‘voice’ was calm, he didn’t realize he hadn’t spoken allowed, replying instead to her thoughts.

~ Aasrel

Bethany couldn’t tell the difference between his voice and his mind. His voice was like a breeze of fresh air. Chasing away all the trash and flotsam in her head and leaving room for herself. She loved him, which was not surprising. He was easy to admire and love. The surprise was he loved her. Her father had made sure she knew she wasn’t worthy of such an emotion despite her three wonderful uncles. She’d hurt him, and here he was reassuring her that it was okay because she was scared. It wasn’t, not at all. Fear was no excuse to lash out at others.

She wasn’t sure she believed what he was saying about her neurotransmitters, but something was going on. It was quiet again and it was so overwhelming. “Keep talking, please? It helps.”

Bethany

“Out loud, or with my mind?” Aasrel asked and chuckled. He was easy to admire and love. The idea jumped from her head to his with ease. He had a hard time believing it. He clamped down his own emotions and recentered, refocusing on his love for her. He could have a self pity fest later. “I’ll be right here for you. Right here with you.”

~ Aasrel

It was his mind that helped the most, but Bethany didn’t realize that. She wasn’t aware she was hearing his thoughts. As far as she knew half Betazoids only had empathy (which wasn’t true. It was most likely, but some, like herself, were full telepaths). She wasn’t even sure she was feeling his emotions. He must know, but she couldn’t tell the difference.

She moved her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Just talk.” Which wasn’t clear how, but she didn’t know.

Bethany

Aasrel sat there on the floor with her, hugging her and talking to her. With his mind, with his voice, it didn’t matter. He alternated them. He told her anything he could think of. That he loved her, about his family, about Betazed, anything. He shivered slightly, the room was cool and he was used to wearing covering, heavy clothes. He didn’t mind though, she would be able to feel it. He just wanted her to feel better.

~ Aasrel

Slowly she calmed down. The longer he talked the easier it was to listen and ignore the rest. She loved listening to him, to his voice and his stories. She relaxed and began to get drowsy. She was warm and mostly comfortable resting against him. But suddenly she knew he was cold. She didn’t know how she knew though. “Computer raise the temperature 2°C.” There was a soft trill and the room began to warm.

Bethany

He kept talking. Just kept going. There was nothing but him and her. And then she raised the temperature. She wasn’t cold, he knew. She did it for him. She’d sensed his chill. The idea made him happy but he kept on talking, keeping himself calm and centered.

~ Aasrel

She listened, letting his voice be her focus. He was soothing and felt like home. Or what she imagined that would feel like. She tipped her head back on his shoulder so she could look at him. She looked drowsy and vulnerable resting in his arms.

Suddenly she looked more awake. “You’re… you’re not talking.”

Bethany

No, I’m not. Haven’t been for a while. Aasrel smiled down at her, his eyes full of love, adoration, happiness. Emotions she could feel from him. You can still hear me though, can’t you? He gave her a questioning look, gently prodding her to realize she was telepathic.

~ Aasrel

Adrenaline hit her system in a rush. Disbelief, fear, and deep underneath excitement coursed through her and into him. She went utterly still in shock, but her head nodded up and down slowly. “You can do that though. You can project your thoughts, you did it before.” She didn’t want to be telepathic, did she?

I’m not doing that now. Not with the effort I’d need to for a non telepath. Aasrel replied the same way.

Her mind absolutely raced with possibilities and explanations, causes and consequences. They had talked about it with Th’rethiss. That fixing the issue might so this. She didn’t really think it would happen.

As her mind whirled as the possibility tried to take root, she stopped focusing on him and instead on everything else. Then there were voices. Nearly 200 of them. She sat up very quickly, eyes narrowed, looking ready to pounce on something or someone as she looked for the source of the voices in the room.

Bethany

Aasrel pulled her back into him, still giving her that look. You’re hearing the thoughts of everyone on board. Look at me, Bethany. Focus on me. It’s like a noisy room, but you can tune out a noisy room. You get used to it.

~ Aasrel

His voice seemed to cut through the noise, and her eyes snapped to his. How did you tune out your own mind? How did a blood transfusion do this? Was it going to go away later? Would it get worse? He could feel the tentative mental touch of a question, but she opened her mouth to speak instead. “But I’m only half Betazoid.”

Bethany

So? Plenty of half Betazoids are telepathic. There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation to that. And with your El-Aurian DNA… is it that unheard of?

“I thought you said they hear emotions. Are they telepathic? I didn’t…” Well actually she had no idea. She’d never met an El-Aurian as far as she knew.

“I don’t know.” Aasrel said with a shrug. “

Aasrel smiled at her. I will stay with you whether this is permanent or not. I don’t care. there was a bit of trepidation, Do you… not want to be telepathic? I may have gotten ahead of myself, I was excited for you, but I remember you really didn’t want it.

~ Aasrel

The question made her think. She didn’t know how to put into words what she felt or wanted. She had wanted it so badly as a child. She would have given anything to be more Betazoid, to make her father proud. To be whole. It never happened. Then growing up with the stigma of being a mind reader, she had started to hate it. Convinced herself she never wanted it. She was actually sharing those thoughts with him, without knowing. It was sloppy and stilted and very messy and disjointed.

Bethany

Aasrel smiled. It was a bit like conversing with a child but that was okay. She’d learn. It’s okay to be confused about it. he said to her, telepathically. He’d noticed that seemed to help.

~ Aasrel

“It’s confusing. I don’t even know I feel.” Except tired. Physically she knew she was exhausted. How do you sleep with all of that in your head?

Bethany

It’ll get better. I promise it will. Aasrel grinned foolishly and playfully at her. I know a way you’ll sleep, thoughts in your head or no. With her empathy working, his intent was clear to her.

~ Aasrel

It was a very unexpected sensation to know his intent in such a way. She suddenly understood with crystal clarity what Aasrel had meant about closeness and bonding and understanding. That there was a lot lacking without it. She shifted in his arms. She was actually blushing. She stared at him intently, trying to figure out how to share her own feeling with him in return. There was also intense fascination at being able to do so. Her attempt was stilted and not quite successful, but she didn’t know if she was or not.

Bethany

Aasrel started laughing, out loud, his joyousness felt by her. The way she was staring at him, haphazardly trying to send him her emotions was humorous, cute, to him. He smiled at her and hugged her, Relax, it comes naturally. Don’t try so hard.

~ Aasrel

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I should have learned as a child.” But she hadn’t. She’d begged and begged her father to take her home to Betazed. The doctors could have figured out what was wrong with her. Instead he’d blamed her and … There was a rush of horrific memories and then an amazing mental strength to simply put it and the emotions away. She felt cheated and traumatized all over again. Her arms slipped under his and reached around him to hug him.

Bethany

Aasrel hugged her tightly, pulling her into him. You’re learning now. That’s what matters. I’m sorry I laughed. Your stare was funny. He looked down at her, his look intense and adoring. I am happy to help you learn.

~ Aasrel

She grinned slightly, “I don’t care you laughed. You don’t make me feel that way.” She was still speaking rather than thinking. It was weird not knowing if she just imagined it. But she was used to him feeling her emotions and hearing her thoughts. It didn’t bother her. “You’ll have to teach me. It’s making me feel … unsteady I guess.”

Bethany

He smiled and hugged her. It’s almost addicting for me to communicate this way again. It’s so much easier to me. He rested his head against her. We’ll play the games I used to play as a kid.

~ Aasrel

“I’m glad you have someone you can practice with now. I know that was a concern.” She lifted her head and looked at him, “Games?” Her look was mischievous and teasing. “What kind of games do you have in mind?” He’d started it after all talking about getting to sleep.

Bethany

There are several. Aasrel grinned, but let’s up the stakes a little, shall we? He thought for a moment. Let’s play Guess What I’m Feeling. I’m going to focus on an emotion, you focus on me and guess what it is. The trick is, I can try to hide it as much as I want. he smiled at her, Don’t worry, I won’t make it too hard for you. then his grin turned mischievous. The stakes.... hmmm.... what have you got?

~ Aasrel

Focus on him? Like think about him? Like focusing your vision? It sounded simple, but it felt daunting. He also said it was natural, but she’d never had it. She was going to have to learn though. She grinned at the look he was giving her, “I already know what your feeling.” She sat up and looked at him. “I don’t have much… coffee?” She was highly amused over offering coffee… and then something occurred to her, “I can have coffee again!”

Bethany

Aasrel laughed and smiled. Yes, you can. All the coffee you want. he said, smiling. As for what you can offer… Let’s think a little more… personal, shall we? And then there was that playful, foolish look again. Once again she felt his intent as clear as day.

~ Aasrel

“Oh,” Bethany flushed as she returned the look, “I can agree with that. What do I get?”

Bethany

A kiss. Every time you guess right. Aasrel decided. He looked at her, So what do I get then? He could speak, but he wanted her to get used to hearing him speak this way, and it seemed to help her tune out other noise.

~ Aasrel

It was weird hearing him speak as clearly as she heard with her ears, but his mouth wasn’t moving. “Hmmm, for every wrong guess you get an extra shower, and you get to choose when.” Of course that was reward for both of them.

Bethany

I’ll make it as inconvenient for you as I can, Aasrel grinned again. Ready to play?

~ Aasrel

“Such promises, Doc.” She wiggled her brows with a grin and nodded. She let out a deep breath, “Yeah.”

Bethany

Aasrel took a couple of breaths and closed his eyes, focusing. He wanted to do something simple first. He focused on happy thoughts and memories. Soon, the emotion filled him, wafting off of him for her to feel. He opened his eyes, What am I feeling?

~ Aasrel

It was difficult. There was more than happiness attached to the memories, though that was strongest. It wasn’t just his emotions though. There was the whole ship and Bethany didn’t know how to filter anything out. She also honestly felt like it was all hers. Even though she knew that some of what she was feeling wasn’t how she felt, she still reacted like they were hers.

She studied his face instead. She was good at reading people. She had to be, and she knew his expressions. “Happy.”

Bethany

Aasrel was paying attention to her mind and caught her, she wasn’t focusing, her emotions were confused. There was no way she guessed that. And she was staring at him intently, with that look when she guessed how he was feeling. He smiled and shook his head. That’s two showers for me. No cheating. Close your eyes.

~ Aasrel

Bethany lifted a shoulder and grinned but behind it was a sense of overwhelm and helplessness and she despised feeling like that. She closed her eyes, and slipped her hands into his. “Okay.”

Bethany

Aasrel took her hands and squeezed. He kept his eyes open, so he could keep an eye on her. Okay, try again. I’m here, Bethany. He focused on different memories, summoning a new emotion. The tentative tendrils of embarrassment began to swirl from within him. What do I feel? And keep your eyes closed!

~ Aasrel

Bethany went still, but her stomach was unsteady. She felt self-conscious. Then he told, in a bit of a rush, to keep her eyes closed. She lost the track of the other feeling. She laughed suddenly, he was chagrined by her cheating. “Amused.”

Bethany

Aasrel chuckled. Nope. Well, maybe a little, but that’s not what I was going for. He refocused himself, making the emotion more obvious, easier for her to pick up. Try again.

~ Aasrel

Fingers flexed and held his tightly. Bethany was used to relying on her physical senses. The physical contact helped her focus. What was he feeling? Focus on him. She wasn’t sure what that meant. She flexed her fingers again. Aasrel. His name brought his image clearly to mind. She shifted, suddenly uncomfortable, her stomach uneasy again. It was embarrassing for him to see her fail at this.

As he watched her, her whole posture showed how she felt. She sifted again. She’d promised to be open and honest with him, even if he could tell for himself now. “I don’t know. I’m embarrassed - I can’t do it.”

Bethany

Aasrel squeezed her hand and then leaned over and hugged her. You’re doing fine. You’re just having trouble separating what you’re sensing from what you’re feeling. You even got it right. And with that, he smiled, It was embarrassment. I was feeling embarrassed because I was thinking of a childhood memory.

~ Aasrel

Bethany inhales long and slow and leaned against him. “I can’t tell the difference.” She face rubbed against his shoulder in a negative motion. “I can’t imagine you being embarrassed.”

Bethany

It happens. There was amusement to accompany the words. It most definitely happens. He held her, hugging her gently. Let’s shift our focus. Instead of what I’m feeling let’s focus on what you are feeling.

~ Aasrel

She sat up opening her eyes to look at him curiously. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”

Bethany

You’re going to learn to tell the difference between your emotions and others’. Aasrel replied, still keeping to telepathic communication. What are you feeling right now? Not me, not the guy next door, you. How do you feel? He could feel her curiosity, among other things. But he wanted her to really focus.

~ Aasrel

It was a question Bethany had been asked over and over again in her life. ‘How do you feel, Bethany?’ The doctor after her father hurt her, her uncles, the Academy counselors, her mentor, and on it went. She had learned to focus and put name to things that were not intellectual. She had learned to be aware of herself, both physically and mentally, to recognize where she was weak and how to over come it.

She was having trouble with that. The last weeks had taken a toll, not just on her physical stamina, but her mental fortitude. Her recovery felt too sudden, to miraculous, to complete.

Aasrel could hear her mind pick out emotions she was feeling and analyze if they were hers. It was hard she wasn’t sure at all. Anger, frustration, worry, passion, pride, amusement, apathy. They were all there. She breathed slowly in and out, eyes closed looking inward to her own depths. “Tired…I’m tired and … lost. I feel lost.”

Bethany

When you’re not sure if an emotion is yours, ask yourself why you would feel that way? With practice I can tell who each one belongs to, they feel different to me. That is where you could get to. Aasrel hoped he was helping. Most Betazoids learned as children, it came easily then. Almost no one learned as an adult and teaching was hard.

~ Aasrel

Her head tipped to the side. The last part sounded different. “Why… why do you sound like you’re whispering?” She was picking up the difference between direct telepathic communication and hearing his thoughts. She thought something was going wrong.

Bethany

Aasrel smiled and looked at her. You’re hearing my thoughts, rather than me directly communicating with you. I don’t mind, no Betazoid usually does, but sometimes non telepathic species get offended, so be careful.

~ Aasrel

Her face flashed briefly, he could feel it too. She wasn’t comfortable intruding like that. She found it rude and invasive on her part. She didn’t mind Aasrel reading her thoughts. She knew he was and had no secrets from him. She knew Aasrel didn’t mind her reading his, but she knew it would happen with other people. That made her uncomfortable. Which, she thought ironically, was weird since she spent her life analyzing data and people and figuring out what made them tick. The thing was though, that Bethany was raised human, with their cultural customs and ethics. She was only 6 when she left Betazed. That culture had been over shadowed many many years ago. It all made her feel more lost and cheated.

“You’re…” Her brows furrowed as she tried to concentrate. “hopeful but very apprehensive. Adults don’t learn how to do this.” She took a long unsteady breath. “What happens if I can’t learn?”

Bethany

He could tell she was uncomfortable. He wished he could help her, but he didn’t know how. Aasrel smiled at her. Good, yes. I’ll count that as a win for you. He chuckled lightly and switched to speaking. “You can, I’m sure of it. You already are. I’m more worried that I don’t know how to teach you.”

~ Aasrel

She was still sitting with her eyes closed. The chaos was suddenly back when he switched to speaking. “We’ll just have to figure it out together. You’re helping.” She could tell she had a long way to go and it seemed daunting. She smiled suddenly. “If that was a win, where’s my hug?”

Bethany

He switched back to telepathy. He could tell it was helping, but after all these months, and all his time in starfleet, communicating solely with telepathy was actually a little odd. A win doesn’t earn you a hug, it earns you a kiss. He pulled her close to him and kissed her, long and slow.

~ Aasrel

Being with Aasrel was like finally getting home after being years away. She didn’t understand why, but she was perfectly happy to just accept it. She was much calmer than she had been when she’d started to storm out of the room. She at least had enough presence of mind now to realize that her feelings were being influenced, and she could attempt to temper her reactions. Part of her was sure she was going to wake up and it wasn’t real. Or maybe this was just a brief flash of dreams her mind created to ease her passing into death. His arms and his kiss were very real and very welcome.

Bethany

Aasrel broke off the kiss and leaned back. Time to try again. What am I feeling now? Except this time, he wasn’t focusing on anything but the kiss they’d just shared.

~ Aasrel

She looked at him as he leaned back. She gave him a disgruntled look and then closed her eyes. “Fine.” Her mind was quiet for a moment longer and then all the thoughts encroached again. She reached for his hand again, using it like an anchor. It was a handful of minutes before she was able to focus. It was harder than when he was talking. Emotions seemed to be very illusive. It was hard to put words to it. “Content, happy … smitten.”

Bethany