Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aasrel Izei (Chief Medical Officer) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Bethany Kovra Gadi (Chief of Security) in Nightmares Tell Us What to Pray Against
Posted by… suppressed (49) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Aasrel sighed softly, looking very worried for her. “At least you haven’t had any more.” He shifted in his bed, as if he wanted to get up but thought better of it. “I want to be able to help you.”

~ Aasrel

“Then you had both help yourselves so that you get better. You are neither useful if you make yourselves more ill. Cmdr Gadi, Pyzhka is waiting for you. Dr. Izei would you like to get up before we start your tests?”

Bethany squeezed Aasrel’s hand and got up. The sooner they got this done the sooner she could tell him she was fine.

Bethany

“Yes.” Aasrel wanted to try getting up, then maybe he could accompany Bethany to her tests later. After his own. He smiled at Bethany, “See you in a little bit.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany smirked and waved, “See ya, Doc.”

Th’rethiss summoned Jonan and the two helped him sit up and then stand after Harkins administered his pain medication. Moving and making his nervous system react and respond was good for Izei as long as it was done safely.

Th’rethiss

It didn’t go too well. Aasrel’s balance and coordination were still so poor he couldn’t keep himself standing without help. He felt dizzy and nauseous. He kept trying to push himself, wanting to be able to help Bethany.

~ Aasrel

They let him try for a little while longer, and then Th’rethiss insisted he return to bed. “We need to run tests. Then we will get you something more substantial to eat. Then we will see about getting up again.”

Meanwhile Bethany was having her EEG conducted. For awhile she laid in the bed and then they had her walking about and doing different things as they monitored her brain waves and the patterns.

Bethany

“Okay, fine.” They had to help Aasrel back to bed, then he settled in with a sigh. “What tests?” He had to wonder how Bethany’s tests were going. He assumed he’d have to wait until she was back to find out.

~ Aasrel

“Brain scans. I need to see how your brain is healing and how much swelling there is. I will also check on your paracortex and psilo-gland.” Th’rethiss slid an imaging apparatus over the head of the biobed and placed his eyes to the microscope like viewer and got to work.

Th’rethiss

Aasrel lay as still as he could so the scans would come out well. There was still a lot of swelling, but less than directly after the surgery. His brain was healing, first repairing the damage from the removal of the implant and the damage from the bleed and second surgery. But his psilosynine levels were beginning to rise, and there were sparks of activity in his paracortex, not enough for his telepathy to start working, but the donation had definitely taken.

~ Aasrel

Th’rethiss was pleased by what he was seeing in the scans. His antenna waved leisurely about. When he was done he slid the imager out of the way. “I am going to go review these and then I will return.”

Harkins came over and helped him sit up and asked what he wanted to eat. Bethany came in, brush in hand and sat down. In a few minutes she had her hair braided and coiled up out of the way. She smiled at him, happy to finally get to sit with him. “How are you feeling?”

Bethany

“Dizzy and sick.” Aasrel replied. Laying down during his scans had helped, but the feelings hadn’t completely faded. “How did your test go?”

~ Aasrel

Bethany shrugged. “No idea. Pyzhka hooked me up and they had me lay down for awhile, flashed lights and strobes at me. Made me walk around and tested my reflexes and such. Said Th’rethiss would review it and come talk to me.”

Aasrel nodded slowly. “I hope the results are good.”

She pulled the bed tray over and pulled out a deck of odd heptagon shaped cards. “I used to play Dreams vs Gods at school.” It was a Betazoid game and on stormy days, of which there were many, their teacher would let them play when they couldn’t go outside. “It has been a long time since I played, but I thought maybe you could help me remember.”

Bethany

Aasrel eyed the cards. He was familiar with them, they were Betazoid cards. The game was very popular in Betazoid schools. He nodded slowly again. “Of course I can help you remember.” He picked up one of the cards and frowned at it. He could help her remember… once he remembered. He kept staring at the card, trying to think of the game’s rules.

~ Aasrel

“Let’s see how much I remember.” She shuffles the cards. Aasrel wouldn’t know, but she felt a bit clumsy trying to shuffle and deal them. Was it the odd shape of the cards, her general lethargy, or a result of the seizure? “So we each get 8 cards, right?” She delt them and then flipped 3 over placing them equidistant apart. “Then we have to match edges of our cards with the ones on the table. The one on the right is mine and the other is yours and the first to the center wins?”

Bethany

When she started explaining the rules, Aasrel’s memories flooded back to him. His brother had taught him how to play.

“Come on, Aasrel. I’ll show you. Everyone playing gets eight cards.” Masas had counted slowly as he dealt the cards out. Then he placed three face side up, about equidistant apart. “Match the edges of your cards,” Masas pointed for emphasis, “with this card, this one is yours.” He pointed at the left card. “And that one is mine. First to the middle wins, okay?”

Aasrel smiled sadly at the memory. They had been really young then, and Masas had learned the game from another kid at school. He still felt like he couldn’t go home. He looked at Bethany, “You go first.”

~ Aasrel

Perhaps it would sound cruel that Bethany was happy to see the slightly sad smile. She knew that look, though. Anytime he was thinking about his family. The game was helping him recall his memories. That was a good thing. Th’rethiss said he needed to work on memory recall.

She started to lay a card down and paused. “Am I supposed to draw a card at the beginning or end of my turn?”

Bethany

“At the end of your turn.” Aasrel replied, looking at his cards, and then the ones on the table, thinking about his move when it was his turn.

~ Aasrel

Bethany looked at her cards. She laid one down but it wasn’t in a straight line for the middle. It was the best option though. “Your turn.”

Bethany

Aasrel set a card down, then drew a card. He made a face when he saw the card he drew. Then looked at Bethany, “Your turn.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany stared at her cards. Then selected, laid it down and drew a card. They went back and forth a few times.

She selected a card but kept staring at it in her hand. Something niggled her memory, but wasn’t sure what. She set it down unaware it was not allowed.

Bethany

Aasrel eyed her selection and smiled. “Can’t do that. The colours have to match, see?” He pointed to his own. Yellow to yellow and red to red so far. The different sides of the card didn’t always have the same colours. So far Bethany had done it correctly by sheer random chance. The numbers she needed happened to also be the right colour.

~ Aasrel

Bethany picked up the card and looked at her hand. “What do I do if I can’t play anything? I remember I thought it wasn’t fair. Of course I was four when I first learned…” Her voice trailed off as the image of a slightly older girl with brown hair and blonde highlights sat next to her and very patiently explained what to do. “Hurry up, Kovra! I don’t want to be here all day playing this kids game.” Another girl sat across from them, sharp features, hawk nose and her eyes seemed hard. “Oh leave her be. She’s learning. Besides I saw you playing at school today. So you are still a kid. And it’s Bethany.” Tiviya had always stood up for when Jeede picked on her. “Not that card Bethany it doesn’t match, see.” Bethany looked again, “But I don’t have another card.” Jeede shrugged, “Then you have to get rid of a card and draw one and your turn is over.” Bethany looked at Tiviya thinking Jeede was tricking her. “That’s not fair!”

Bethany sat back with a slightly startled expression. They were her cousins. She had cousins. Did they survive? Were they still alive? If she had cousins that meant she had aunts and uncles. Why hadn’t she ever seen them again? She discarded a card and then drew one.

Bethany

This game was good for Aasrel. It had made him recall memories and it was making him think. His head was starting to hurt though. Aasrel was about to answer when Bethany came up with the answer herself. He was almost going to keep playing, but there was something about her expression, even to his blind-to-body-language self. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

~ Aasrel

Bethany looked up at him, bringing herself back to focus. “oh, um… I had cousins.” She sounded shocked by that. “Tiviya and Jeede. They taught me how to play.” She sounded curious and confused by the revelation.

Bethany

Aasrel took a moment to process that information. “Do you want to find them?” He asked. “They’d have your name, Gadi.” He smiled at her. “I’m glad you remembered that.

~ Aasrel

Would they? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t really understand how that worked. She only knew that her mother had taken her father’s name in human tradition rather than Betazoid.

“Find them?” She feigned mild interest. “No. I doubt, if they survived, they want anything to do with me. I mean we never heard from any of them after we returned to Earth.” She shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

Bethany

Aasrel gave her a look. He was no counselor, but even he recognized how her father’s treatment seemed to have affected her: she always thought people wouldn’t care about her or want her around. “There’s no harm in trying. If they don’t, they’ll tell you and you can respect that. But I think they’d be happy to hear from you, if they’re alive.”

~ Aasrel

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.” She wasn’t convinced, but was saved from discussing it by Th’rethiss’ arrival.

“I’ve reviewed both your tests.” On the screen he pulled up the data from Bethany’s EEG. “The Kepra is working. The activity we saw before has decreased significantly, but I am not prepared to take you off of it yet. You can see here,” he switched scans, “Your paracortex is still showing as dormant. The psilo-gland however is still very active. The paracortex is still not receiving the psilosynine which means it will end up in your blood stream again. I am afraid that your reaction will be much faster and more severe as your body is already hyper sensitive to it.”

Bethany

Aasrel listened quietly, trying to process the information. He was doing better than he had been but he was still confused and slow to make sense of things. Just then, he was still piecing together the kepra working, but Th’rethiss wanting to keep her on it. It was several moments before he glanced up in alarm. “How long do we have to find her cure?”

~ Aasrel

Th’rethiss scowled. “Cmdr Gadi was sick for weeks before Dr. Riley put her on the cocktail. She was in that 3 months before you increased it, and then it wasn’t strong enough. Right now,” he looked at Bethany, “You ate on a lower dosage, and it is keeping the psilosynine out of your blood, but as production increases we will have to up the dosage. Eventually the dame complications will occur. I strongly advise removing the gland.”

Th’rethiss

Aasrel looked at Bethany. “Do you want that? It’s up to you.” She’d never wanted telepathy, he remembered. She hated her Betazoid side. But if she didn’t want to, if she wanted to wait for the cure, it should be her choice, not Th’rethiss’. Aasrel desperately wished he could continue working on the cure. He’d ask for a PaDD as soon as he could.

~ Aasrel

Bethany seemed unphased by the news. If they removed the gland she wasn’t losing anything for herself. Only the psilosynine Aasrel might need if he had to have a second donation. “I will have to think about it.” She held up a hand to forestall Th’rethiss. “I know I don’t have a lot of time. But it is the same deep invasive surgery that Dr. Izei had, correct? Same location?”

“It is,” Th’rethiss confirmed.

“You are absolutely sure you can’t remove the El-Aurian gland instead? Personally, if something went wrong, I would rather be deaf than a vegetable.”

Aasrel squeezed her hand. Most of the conversation seemed to be going too quickly for him, but he caught that part, and he wanted neither for her.

Bethany squeezed his hand back. She would prefer neither of those things happen, but if complications were likely to happen she would choose losing her hearing. She also knew choosing that would mean the end of career. Medical technology could do a lot but if the audio processing part of her brain was gone there was nothing to fix.

“Removal of that gland does not mean that your paracortex will begin using the psilosynine as it should.”

“Removing the psilo-gland doesn’t guarantee that the other hormone won’t start leaking into my system and cause similar problems,” Bethany stated.

“I will compile some information for you, and you can read it over and decide.” Then he switched the images and turned to Aasrel. “The swelling has come down, but slowly. You still have a lot of healing to do. This,” he switched slides, “were scans of your brain and paracortex before the initial surgery. You can see itbis dormant. This one is after the surgery. You can see the extent of the damage the placement and extended exposure the Borg implant did, here and here you can see where we removed it.”

Aasrel looked at the image, and then Bethany. He was still too confused and the scan images just weren’t making sense to him.

Bethany repeated what Th’rethiss had said, and for his part, Th’rethiss went back through the images explaining each part, giving Aasrel time to process it.

Embarrassed, Aasrel nodded, even though he still wasn’t getting all of it.

“Now, this image is after the second surgery. You can see the swelling and damage from that.” He switched the images a final time. “These are today. There is still swelling but less. You can see here that your brain is already making significant progress on repairing the damage the Borg did. Apparently the implant was specifically designed to prevent Betazoid telepathy. Possibly to prevent the telepathy from interfering with the hive mind.” Th’rethiss paused and looked at Aasrel. “I apologize Dr. Izei. We, myself and the doctors before me, failed you greatly by not removing this sooner.” He had been adamant not to do the surgery, but leaving it would have done even greater harm. He was truly remorseful.

Aasrel shook his head. “No one knew that was its purpose. We are still learning about these things.” He looked uncomfortable. He hated talking about them.

“There is much we don’t know,” Th’rethiss agreed, “but once this is over we can pass this information on and help others.” He pulled himself up a bit and grudgingly looked at Gadi. “I must express my gratitude that you forced the issue. If you had not…”

Bethany shook her head, “You were advising the best you could with the data you had. No faults or blames you for that.”

“I would like to offer my case for a write-up, in order to help others.” Aasrel said. It would be obvious to Bethany that idea made him uncomfortable, but to him it was more important to help others.

Bethany squeezed his hand. She knew it was hard, but she was proud of him for that. She would have to make sure to tell him to submit hers as well. Ryley had said it was a completely previously unknown autoimmune disease. Just incase someone else should ever have it, they should know about her.

“And now for better news. The tests we ran show that your psilosynine levels are steadily increasing, and your paracortex has begun to function again. Not completely, and given the amount of damage that must be repaired and the swelling, it will be a week before you notice anything. I would guess, but the donation did take.” He showed the scans where they could see his paracortex lighting up in small bursts.” Your psilosynine levels have doubled from the donation amount. Which is not even a fourth of what you would normally have, but that is a significant amount.”

Bethany

Aasrel was quiet for a long moment. Then he looked puzzled, and then tentatively hopeful. “Wait… It did take? Definitely? Really?” He looked at Bethany and then the doctor again.

~ Aasrel

Bethany was gripping his hand vice-like. She looked at Th’rethiss who nodded and she smiled slightly. He continued, “Yes it definitely took. I do not know how or to what extent your telepathy will return. I will read the study again. Unfortunately, given our circumstances, I cannot contact the lead researcher or doctors on Betazed that have performed this procedure for more details. We will simply have to wait and see what happens. I will do scans every day to see what the progress is, but even once healed I do not know how much will return. I wish I knew more.”

Th’rethiss

Don’t know… to what extent… telepathy will return. Wait and see. Scans every day. The words floated around in his mind, disjointed and disorganized. He nodded slowly and smiled. He hoped for it all back, but any telepathy was better than none.

~ Aasrel

“I will leave the scans with you. It is a lot to take in and go over. If either of you have any questions, ask.” Th’rethiss left the room after setting a PaDD nearby.

Bethany shot from the chair to sit on the edge of his bed. She hugged him fiercely, then kissed him, then hugged him again, face pressed into his neck. “I told you it would work. You’re going to be fine. Everything is okay now. I told you.” She was ecstatic for him. She couldn’t put words to it, but she knew he would be fine now. That was all that mattered.

Bethany

Aasrel was sitting and processing the information when Bethany hugged him from the side, jostling him enough to make him go “Ouch!” Then he smiled and kissed her. “Let’s not celebrate too early. I was a pretty strong telepath. What if I only get empathy back or something?”

~ Aasrel

Bethany whispered a sheepish, “Sorry.” His last statement settled a oily sick feeling in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. “You’ll have it though, and that’s better than where you were. That’s something to celebrate no matter what.” She suddenly felt that unless it was a 100% it won’t have been enough… it was never enough. She hugged him a moment longer and then leaned back to grin at him. “It’s going to work, you’ll see. Now what about food?”

Bethany

“Yeah.” It wasn’t her fault that wasn’t enough for him. It was that he wanted his self back and for him that included strong telepathy. He smiled at her. “You were right about the donation taking. It’ll work.”

~ Aasrel

“Of course it will. I don’t know how it works, buy it might be like after you damage your arm. You know, you need to exercise it and rebuild strength. You’re stubborn enough to get through that. I just hope it doesn’t make your dizziness worse as the swelling heals.” Bethany didn’t know how that worked at all, and no point of reference really, so she could be worried over nothing. She stood carefully so as not to jostle him. She took the cards off the table and set them aside. “What do you want to eat? More soup or something more substantial? Whatever you want. We can celebrate just a little, right?”

Bethany

Aasrel gripped his arm, his implant, squeezing until his knuckles turned white. “Maybe. I hope the dizziness doesn’t get worse. You helped me. I want to be able to return the favour.” He looked at her as she got up, not wanting her to go. “Something more substantial or my stomach might eat itself.” He said and offered a little smile. “We can celebrate.” If it would make her happy, he’d celebrate all she wanted.

~ Aasrel

Bethany set a hand over his, “Relax. It might be a longer process than you wanted, but the point is that it is happening. Healing takes time, right?” She kissed his cheek, “Be right back.” She stepped out of the room long enough to ask Jonan for two meals and then returned.

“How is your head feeling? Do you want to sit up a bit more to eat? I can get Harkins.”

Bethany

Aasrel nodded but his grip did not loosen. He knew his healing would take time. He was impatient, but that wasn’t what he was upset about. He needed to be able to research her cure. He needed to get back to work. She was running out of time and he could barely follow a basic conversation. He looked up at her and nodded. “I’m okay. I want to try to sit up more.”

~ Aasrel

Bethany stuck her head out the door and soon Harkins arrived to help him sit up. “Food should be here soon. And after that you are going to get up and start walking. Not too far, but every couple of hours. We don’t want you to over do and get sick, but it is time to start moving around.”

“Good. I need to get back to work.” Aasrel said as he sat up with her help. He made himself dizzy, he was ignoring it.

Jonan arrived with two trays of food. It was a replica of the meal Aasrel had shared with her their first ‘date’ along with uttaberry ice cream.

Bethany

Aasrel grinned at the trays and looked at Bethany. “Trying to make me feel better with food?”

~ Aasrel

Bethany smiled. “Well it is much better than soup, and Th’rethiss said anything that triggers memory is good. I remember you telling me about having this with your family.” Her cheeks might have turned slightly pink even as she wiggled her brows at him, “Thought it might remind you of other things too.”

Bethany

Aasrel nodded. “My mom liked to make it.” Had he told her that before? He couldn’t remember. He flushed slightly and smiled at her. “Oh, it does. I don’t know if that counts as memory recall though.” He said and grinned.

~ Aasrel

“Of course it does. It happened in the past. He didn’t say it had to be a distant memory.” She leaned in and whispered against his lips, “I miss working on our tradition.” Then she kissed him.

Aasrel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her towards him as he kissed back. When the kiss broke he grinned. “I miss it, too.”

“Hmmm… maybe they will let you recuperate in your quarters so we can get back to that.” She was flirting, but would never do anything to risk him getting better. If he had to stay then he would stay. It didn’t hurt to let him have something to look forward to.

Aasrel smiled. “I wish I could do that. I can’t wait.”

She sat back and picked up her fork. Aasrel had told her a lot of things. He had told her about his mom, but she didn’t mind hearing it again. “I bet your mom’s tastes better. When you get home, will you ask her to make this or something else?”

Bethany

He started eating, a little slowly. “It does. You’re gonna have to try it.” He thought about her question and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe. You’re still going with me, right?”

~ Aasrel

“Of course I am.” She gave him a mock serious look, “You aren’t backing out on me, are ya Doc? You said you would take me. You changing your mind?”

Bethany

“Could I back out on you?” Aasrel reached for her hand. “I couldn’t do that. I’ll take you.” He smiled at her. Then he sighed. “It’s not the telepathy, you know. That’s not why I don’t want to go back.”

~ Aasrel

“Yeah it is. It’s a part of it, but I know it’s not all of it. It’s about reclaiming yourself.” She squeezed his hand. “There is no better place to find the core of who you are, than with the people and home that shaped you. That helped to raise you and teach you. To let them help you remember.”

Bethany

Aasrel squeezed her hand and shook his head. “How can I go back there when I’m not me anymore? How can I make them see me like this?” He said, voice shaking.

~ Aasrel

“How can you deny them the chance to hold you, to see you, to know you are alive?” She took a breath, “To feel your presence? You have changed. There is no denying that, but you are still their family. You aren’t making them see you. That is their decision. If you were to ask, would they say no? That they don’t want to see you as you are now?” She squeezed his hand again, “To face a past that is now too painful in the reflection of what is between then and now, we will have to be braver than you ever have been. But we can do it together or do it alone.”

Bethany

“Of course they wouldn’t say no.” He leaned against her the best he could and hugged her. “I can’t do it alone. I need you there.”

~ Aasrel