Posted by Audrey IV (Plant in the Arboretum Deck 14) in The Hostess with the Mostess
It was 0900 when Audrey’s tendralls reached out and used a nearby station to open a channel to the ship.

“Well, hello you beautiful uni, bi, tri and quad pedal crewmembers of the USS Ark Angel. I am Audrey IV, coming to you most rrcently from the main Arboratum, but before that from Canticus Theatrum IV, where not only the hills, but the plains, deserts, forests and mountains are alive with the sound of music. I am your hostess with the mostess, and I am here to sing show tunes, I can harmonise, I can vocalise and I can accessorise. And i am here to take your requests to lift your mood. And remember, plants are your friends … become carnivores, one and all.”

And then a sound which could well be Audrey warming up her vocal chords are carried across the ship.

Audrey IV, Main Arboretum, USS Ark Angel

“Well than, let’s hit it pods” Audrey IV says, “here is ‘I’ve got the Tune Right Here’, with acknowledgement to the handsome guys and beautiful dolls of 20th Century US of A.” A brassy sound starts up.

(POD ALPHA - The “Diva” Head) (Starts alone, crisp and rhythmic)
“I got the tune right here, The lyrics crystal clear, I’m gonna sing it strictly as the composers wrote it! It’s legitimate, Art— It’s got a complex start, And if the Captain interrupts I’m gonna misquote it!
It’s Sondheim, it’s Klass, So kiss my photosynthesis! Can do, can do, This gal says the music can do!”

(POD BETA - The “Tech/Science” Head) ( enters, singing over Pod Alpha. Pod Alpha continues repeating her verse underneath)
“I’m checking frequencies, And Subspace decrees, That we are violating seven protocols of Starfleet! Yeah the Vulcan is mad, He’s reaching for his PADD, But if we jam the signal then the victory is sweet!
It’s log-ic, applied, The regulations set aside! Can do, can do, This gal says the signal can do!”

(POD GAMMA - The “Hungry” Head) (Enters last, singing over BOTH Alpha and Beta)

“I see a snack right here! His spots are very clear! He’s a Trill working at the helm this year! He’s got a meaty thigh, I caught his wandering eye, I’d like to study all his internal geography!

So ten-der, so sweet, I really need a piece of meat! Can do, can do, This gal says the Helm will do!”

(ALL THREE PODS - Suddenly locking into perfect 3-part harmony)

“I got the TUNE! I’m checking the SPECS! I want the SNACK!

Can do! Can do! Audrey the Fourth can do!”

(BIG BRASS FINISH)

AUDREY IV: (Speaking again, breathless) “And that was just the appetiser. Now… does anyone on the Bridge have a request? Or shall I just pick someone at random… to serenade?”

Audrey IV, Main Arboretum, USS Ark Angel
(OOC: And yes … filking on Fugue for Tinhorns from Guys and Dolls … no Vulcan NEs, Trill Helm Officers or Captains were harmed in the writing of this post … Sondheim though is probabl screaming in anger at the desecration :P)