Hi all,

As it’s Pride Month, a few of us had the idea for LGBTQ+ members to share a bit about themselves and their experiences. As an ice-breaker, I thought I’d take the plunge first. While I hope others join me, there is no expectation for anyone to do so.

For those who don’t know me, I’m Jack, and I joined STF back in 2003, having just finished school with a bit of free time before starting university. I had only been attracted to other guys, so it should have been fairly obvious to me that I was gay. However, at the time I wasn’t out, and I thought (or perhaps hoped) it was a phase. While not obvious to a younger me at the time, there were two factors that contributed to that feeling.

The first was that during my time at school, UK schools were banned from promoting homosexuality by teaching or by publishing material. They were further banned from teaching that homosexuality was compatible with having a family relationship. This meant that the concept of being gay while also having a normal family life was not something that was discussed and, if anything, left me feeling that I had a choice between either having a ‘normal’ family life or being gay.

The second was that I had aspirations of serving in the UK military and successfully applied through the RAF’s engineering sponsorship scheme in 2002. Only a couple of years earlier, the UK had removed a ban on LGBTQ+ people serving in the military, having effectively been forced to by a European Court of Human Rights ruling that the ban was unlawful. At the time, critics argued that allowing LGBTQ+ people like me to serve would be ‘bad for morale’, and so again I felt that having a successful career in the military and being gay were at odds with each other.

And this is where Star Trek played an inspirational role in my life; in particular, the concept that no matter their backgrounds, everyone was accepted as part of one family, the ship’s (or station’s) crew. STF has always felt the same to me; we are all here to role-play and have fun, regardless of who we are and where we come from. Having taken a break from the club for 8 years and then coming back last year, it still feels like the same family, even with old members leaving and new members joining.

But STF means even more to me. I eventually came out (albeit gradually) to friends starting in 2010, having accepted who I was a few years earlier. There were those in the club who really supported me both before and during that period, helping me understand my feelings and being there for me when I felt low. For some reason, it felt ‘safer’ talking to club members about things than some of my friends outside of STF. Seeing other LGBTQ+ people and characters within the club, and that everyone accepted them for who they were, helped with that.

So, where am I today? I am exceptionally fortunate to have married my wonderful husband last year, and I am still enjoying my time serving in the RAF. Those perceived choices between being gay and having a family life, or between being gay and having a successful career, never materialised; I found that these are very much compatible with each other and it was amazing to be able to marry the person I love, whilst wearing the uniform of the service that I am proud to be part of (cheesy picture is in my profile for this month). Don’t get me wrong, there have still been rare moments where some poor soul has decided to deride me for who I am, but I very much consider myself lucky. I will always be grateful for STF, and everyone involved in the club, in helping me to better understand myself and have the confidence to be who I am.

Jack