Posted by Reading Tribble (Pagemaster) in Lyrics in the offkey of Tribble

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I blame the Dave the Kiwi and Sharon the Raven for the following :)
It got into my head in a discussion being had in the Leviathan … and it seemed to be totally relevant to the Sentinel :)

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Why are all our Redshirts dying?
By Russell Tribble Watt
Inspired by
Why are all the D’Ysquiths Dying from A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder

AWAY TEAM MEMBERS:
Why are all our redshirts dying?
When they go on an away mission?
It seems with every day
A redshirt passes away
And here we are mourning their lack of action

CHIEF MEDIC
It’s frankly all been mystifying
When I kneel beside a dead body:
To me it’s rather odd, see
That the one who died is in security

YEOMAN 1
And he’ll no longer need any coffee

COMMANDING OFFICER
Oh, why are all the Redshirts dying

YEOMAN 2
What a tasteless way of showing off

SECURITY CHIEF
Why are all my redshirts dying
It seems that the Sentinel’s shaken to the core

Speaks: Why no singing, Security? Oh right, my department are the redshirts … Docs?

MEDICS AND NURSES
Sings:
To lose one redshirt
One can certainly forgive
But how can you excuse losing two
Or three
Or four
Or seven

NAVIGATOR/PILOT/CON
Speak: Has anyone checked behind the couch?

SCIENCE CHIEF
Sings: Why are all the Redshirts dying
I’ve never seen such recklessness before
It’s unnerving

SCIENCE OFFICERS
It’s not that they’re not undeserving

COMMUNICATIONS OFFICER
I never liked them much, I must confess

SCIENCE OFFICERS
In fairness
You must admit, at least,
It’s a shame about [insert name of latest redshirt to die here]

NAVIGATOR/PILOT/CON
I can’t imagine missing someone less

ENGINEERING CHIEF
But really, why are all the Redshirts dying
When truth to tell so many others should

ENGINEERING OFFICERS
Though
Privately it was said
They should all drop dead
No one thought
They ever really would

COMMANDING OFFICER
I happened to notice there wasn’t a lot of crying
I even heard a snigger from the back

YEOMEN
Oh, it really is a shame
How they start to feel the same

CHIEF MEDIC
How many are there left to bury after what’s-his-name?

SECURITY CHIEF
I ask you

THE ENTIRE CREW
Why are all the Redshirts dying
Whoever’s next, it simply must be said
I’m far too tired to be quite that dead
And most of all, I don’t look good in red!

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• Tribble

I Said it before, and I’ll say it again because this genuinely needs all the recognition it needs! Absolutely stunning! (and that’s just the writer) :P Brilliant piece of work Tribble!

• Narwhal