Posted by Robert Archer in Questions for the Candidates - Entitlement Mentality
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Rob’s posts reminded me of an issue in the club that seems to keep popping up and yet does not exactly get discussed. And that is the issue of entitlement mentality that at least some of us have. People will feel entitled to be recognized for going above and beyond regardless of whether or not they go above and beyond. They express how they have been slighted for not being chosen for positions they did not even apply for. They behave in an obviously inappropriate manner and refuse to acknowledge it. I’ve personally been absolutely blasted by the weakest candidate for a position when I chose someone else. I feel like I could go on and on.

Hey Adam, so I’d like to break down a part of what you said above here:

1) ‘People will feel entitled to be recognized for going above and beyond regardless of whether or not they go above and beyond.’ so on this point obviously everyone’s definition of what could be termed ‘above and beyond’ is probably a bit different. My usual bar of what I consider to be this is something that either A) impacts a ship/fleet/department/the whole club or community in a major way that can be seen/felt, B) For me is not only confirmed by myself but by others not directly associated to this. For me this serves as a ‘check/balance’ of avoiding as much as possible a mentality of playing favorites or the like. This last term’s commendation list for example, was all stuff submitted by others and which I beyond one or two noted people had no one else contributed the others on the list I would not have had such an extensive list to make notes of things.

2) ‘They express how they have been slighted for not being chosen for positions they did not even apply for.’ Ok I’ve had to deal with this myself in different ways, so when it happens my response is something along the lines of ‘we had applications open for X amount of time, you did not submit an application so were not considered’ obviously I probably give a better wording then that, but the point is it sums up the intentions of my reply accurately.

3) ‘They behave in an obviously inappropriate manner and refuse to acknowledge it. I’ve personally been absolutely blasted by the weakest candidate for a position when I chose someone else.’ so if this happens or has happened to me I do my best to rationally explain my reasonings once more. If after the second time they don’t ‘get it’ or ‘accept it’ then I just end the conversation and walk away. Really this is the best you can do I think. If you are in a position like President to make such a choice as CO assignment or something and you took steps to avoid favoritism and pick the best candidate for that spot and people its all you can do. Obviously you can and still will have those who disagree or object, its a nature of the internet. In my earlier example about the past president choosing a CO for a ship over someone else. I disagreed on that choice, but regardless of my feelings or thoughts on that I still accepted the choice of the president and hoped at the time that their reasons and the person chosen would work out for the best on said ship. Sometimes it does, other times it doesn’t.

Why do we feel like we deserve things we don’t deserve, like we should be chosen when others are actually more qualified, like we shouldn’t have to be subject to accountability, like we should be able to control what someone else has authority over? In your mind, how significant of a role do these entitled approaches have in our community? And as an exec, what is your approach to people who are exhibiting these sorts of behaviors?

Adam W.

Once more I’d like to break down what you’re saying here Adam:

1) ‘Why do we feel like we deserve things we don’t deserve, like we should be chosen when others are actually more qualified, like we shouldn’t have to be subject to accountability, like we should be able to control what someone else has authority over?’ so this is probably some kind of deep mental questioning topic, the short answer to me summed up is ‘I don’t know’. Maybe its human nature to some degree? In regards to STF the only thing I can think it might matter on is false perceptions of favoritism, the usual off/on mentality that an older member is chosen time and again for something, and other similar things. Some of this could be a legitimate feeling, others maybe not so much, the issue I feel usually is a case by case basis.

2) ’ In your mind, how significant of a role do these entitled approaches have in our community?’ so for me its been a mixed bag over the years when I’ve been in different roles of authority in the club. Focusing on my own ship the Ark Angel though for the longest period to reflect on that I had the most control over, it has come up for me once in a while. Usually involving a DH spot needing filled that a JO on the ship was not appropriate for due to different reasons, or in one or two cases a JO who did get the DH spot and then later showed they weren’t appropriate for it and so I had to more troubling choice to have them step back for the betterment of the ship as a whole. This resulted in some hurt feelings of course, anger or frustration on both sides despite efforts by myself to have helped these players improve before I was forced to have them step back. The only other time I’ve faced this entitlement issue, was again using the Ark Angel (and other ships I’ve GMed) as a more consistent measurement, is I have run into people who feel that their character no matter their role on the ship should be the ‘star’ of every sim or the scene or something, and when this wont happen again similar issues rise up. While I do try to accommodate everyone as much as possible to either jointly star as the main ‘hero’ of a sim or scene, or single one or two people out a times. I try to only do this sparingly as GM, the main reason is STF’s writing is dependent in a way on cooperative working together if only one person does it all then what’s the point?

3) ‘And as an exec, what is your approach to people who are exhibiting these sorts of behaviors?’ so as an Exec my approach is much as I outlined above here for the first part I try to explain my reasonings in as much of a constructive light as I can. I point out any pro/cons the person shows these behaviors with and encourage their positives and try to help lessen their cons. I also try to explain things they may not be fully aware of that the chosen person got for the sake of that position. If after that they still cry foul and aren’t convinced then the best we can do is try to find a role that does fit this player constructively and for the club as well. Failing that sometimes for that moment you just need to walk away from the conversation.

Hope this break down helped explain my thoughts and reasonings to you better Adam regarding what you asked.

Robert Archer

Yes it did, Rob, thank you for the thoughtful responses.

Adam W.