Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Chief Medical Officer) in CNS Office - Like The White Rabbit, The CMO Is Late For a Very Important… Check In (TAG CMO)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Janusz Korczak (Counselor) in CNS Office - Like The White Rabbit, The CMO Is Late For a Very Important… Check In (TAG CMO)

Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Chief Medical Officer) in CNS Office - Like The White Rabbit, The CMO Is Late For a Very Important… Check In (TAG CMO)
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

The whole time Korczak watched her, Tija looked steadily back at him. Actually not only at him, but she looked him straight into the eyes. It felt a bit like that game where whoever blinks first loses. And that was a game she was rather good at. Even after he’d asked his next question, she didn’t answer immediately, but kept looking at him for a couple of heartbeats. Eventually she said, “There isn’t much to tell to be honest. My parents still live in the village we moved to after Bajor’s liberation from the Cardassian occupation. As far as I know they are the only family I have left. Both my grandparents are dead and so is my uncle. He’d never married and as far as we know he didn’t have children. And my father is a single child.” Nothing about her betrayed many emotions. And quite frankly, what she had just told him about her family hadn’t evoked many emotions in a long time and right now she was mostly just a little irritated by the question. She never understood what her family history had to do with her capability to be a doctor or Starfleet officer. Her past didn’t interfere with her duties after all.

~Lt. Tija, Asst. CMO

Korczak waited for a moment, as if seeing if there was more. Finally, he said “And tell me about your sister.”

Korczak, CNS

Tija folded her hands in her lap and pressed her right thumbnail into the soft skin of her left palm. “There isn’t really anything I can tell you about Soanea,” she said curtly. “I was a toddler when she died and thus don’t remember her at all.” Narrowing her eyes ever so slightly, she asked, “What does my sister or the rest of my family have to do with my capability to be a Starfleet medical officer? Sir.”

~Lt. Tija, Asst. CMO

Korczak looked intently at her and responded in a soft, even manner, his distinct but confusing accent lending an odd comforting tone to his words. “Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. It is not uncommon for the loss of a child to cause… distance… between parents and other children. That distance can be difficult for some children to deal with… especially as they get older. Now, if you would care to relax your hands, we can take a small break if you like. And don’t worry, Lieutenant. What is said here goes no further than these walls. My reports to Command are a simple ‘yes - no’ to the question of psychological suitability for service aboard a Star Fleet vessel. And to be frank, I would be more concerned if matters such as that did not cause difficulties in your family. But we can discuss that, or not, here a moment.” and with that he stood up and went to the replicator. =/\= Black currant tea with lemon, hot. =/\= and the replicator whirled into life. Retrieving the cup and saucer, he turned and said “Care for anything, Doctor?”

Korczak, CNS

Tija blinked and looked down at her hands. A look of surprise briefly crossed her face as she the red crescent left behind by her thumbnail. She hadn’t even been aware that she was digging her nail into her palm, but one thing was was crystal clear in her mind: showing signs of self-harm - no matter how minor - would not help her get cleared for duty. So instead she moved her hands underneath her thighs. After all, there was nothing wrong with sitting on your hands, was there?

“There is a herbal tea saved in the replicator that’s called ‘Aizala Two’. A cup of that tea would be nice. Thank you, Counsellor,” she said softly, while her mind was racing. His words made sense and she did believe him that the mere fact that she hadn’t had exactly a happy childhood would cost her her career. Yet she wasn’t sure if she was able to let her guard down enough to talk to him. And even if she did, what if she couldn’t get her guard up again afterwards? What if she was worse off afterwards?

Chewing slightly on her lower lip, Tija watched Korczak. Or at least she was looking at him. If she was actually seeing him was a different question. After what felt for her like forever, she said, “I never really talked to anyone about my family or my childhood.” Looking down at her lap she fell silent once more, though not as long as before. “Both in our resistance cell and then later in the village we move to after the Occupation everybody knew what had happened to Soanea and in one way or another every Bajoran who has memories of the Occupation is traumatised … But yes, it’s not always been easy … My parents never got over my sister’s death. But which parent does?” Her voice trailed off and she fell silent, her eyes slightly glazed over as she looked straight ahead.

~Lt. Tija, Asst. CMO

Korczak say down and, taking a sip of the tea, set the cup and sauce on the small table. ” Some do… well, depending on what one means by the phrase ‘get over’. Some heal, strive to find the means and tools to recover from the loss. Some… like my father… never do. They choose to wallow in loss and grief, unable to take even that first small step towards acceptance of what is. I is a shame that families then have to experience the loss of another member.” and he looked Tija. “Could that be why you have never spoken about it? Because you lost more than just your sister?”

Korczak, CNS

Looking up in surprise, Tija felt a peng of empathy towards Korczak and at the same time a mix relieve and guilt. Relieve because he might be able to understand what she was feeling and guilt because she felt relieved that she wasn’t the only one with this experience. But she quickly dropped her gaze again, hoping that her expression had betrayed non of that, and instead stared into her tea cup and the rich brownish-green tea within. It took her a couple of moments to answer the counsellor’s questions, and when she did there was a tiny quiver in her voice. “I don’t know. I … I’ve never thought about it that way … I think …” She fell silent once more and bit down on the corner of her lower lip. After several more moments of silence, she added in a barely audible whisper, “It always felt like it didn’t matter to them that they had another child or like that had forgotten that I exist as well.”

~Lt. Tija, Asst. CMO

Korczak nodded in understanding and then sat silent for a few moments. He then stood and walked over to one of the pictures on the wall. It was a modern holo-pic, and shimmered as the angle of the frame moved. He walked over and handed it to the Doctor.

The picture showed a group of people of varying ages surrounding a younger version of the Counselor who was dressed in graduation attire in front of a very old but still very functional looking building. On one side was a couple, older versions of Korczak and the young woman on his other side. Next to her was a man dressed in a Command Star Fleet Uniform, Captain’s pips showing brightly on his collar. In his hands was an infant.

“My family… as it was… when I matriculated from Oxford. Three years after this was taken…” and he took a deep breath, “… my sister and my nephew were killed by terrorists. My brother-in-law is the Captain. My parents on the other side. My mother has worked very hard at her recovery from our loss. My father… well… he is not so motivated.”

Korczak, CNS

“My family… as it was.