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“Thank you, sir.” Whitfield paused for a moment after speaking, breathing out slowly and as calmly as she could, dropping her serious expression and smiling once again. It was hard not to in a situation like this, and she was certainly glad to have not ruined things for herself - or anyone else, for that matter.

“If I may ask a more… personal question, sir,” she spoke quickly, looking to the Chief. She paused once again, specifically taking time to figure out exactly how to externalise what she was thinking, far from willing to say anything that may be unwarranted. She definitely wasn’t a troublemaker, but once she had some idea as to how to say what she wanted, she let rip. “Was it hard for you, being a Cadet? Did you ever have, er, trouble with responsibilities… and being responsible?”

Her expression shifted to a more nervous one, tilting her head slightly as she questioned her own choice of words. She didn’t want to be too informal but she felt that perhaps it might be good to lighten the mood when questioning the DH’s responsibility, even if not referring to the present. Still, despite her outwardly appearance of curiosity there was a certain importance to the question. She’d definitely had doubts about her future that she’d hoped she would’ve grown beyond but they worried her yet. She waited, hoping to get some insight where she previously had nothing.

She wanted to be an engineer and she absolutely wanted to work with the Chief’s team. That’s all she knew was certain, for now, at least.

-Cadet Olive Whitfield, Engineer

Dael breathed in and thought back for a moment, leaning back in his chair and looking of to the side. Remembering. It hadn’t been all that long ago that he’d first put on a cadet uniform and did his best to do his job. He tapped the PADD in his hands as he formulated his thoughts before looking back at Cadet Whitfield with a small grin.

“I would like to say that I’ve always been responsible, Cadet, but that would be a lie. Shortly before joining the Academy I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of my life, I certainly didn’t expect this.” He gestured to the room around them. “My father is an artist, my mother a bureaucrat and I didn’t know what I wanted to spend my time doing, where my place fit. I just knew it wasn’t theirs. I tried on many hats till I settled into Engineering, but when I did, I went for it. Once I finally had a goal, I pushed through and made sure I was responsible. However, that said…” Dael leaned forward and rested his elbows on his desk, hands clasped at his chin. “…Once I was onboard the Challenger, the responsibilities seemed too much. I just wanted to solve problems and fix things. I thought maybe I had made a mistake and should request to serve on Jupiter Station, or the Shipyards, a place where decisions weren’t needed so quickly and the wrong one can cost real people. But soon, you settle into roles. Not easily, maybe not well at first. I was terrified the first time I was called to the Bridge during a situation where my expertise were needed. Some might jump at the chance, I wanted nothing more than to shrink away from the eyes of the senior staff. But I had a problem to solve, and focusing on that let me do my job, and after that first time the Bridge seemed less scary. And less, and less. Until next thing you know I’m sitting behind this desk talking to the other senior staff daily.”

Dael took in a deep breath before continuing, as the memories faded to the here and now. “I won’t say you won’t be scared, or feel like you’ve made a wrong choice. I won’t say that the responsibilities might seem enormous, even now I’ll admit this newer role is one I’m still working on. I can’t promise you’ll ever feel comfortable, or that you won’t feel like you don’t belong after making a mistake. But I do know that over time, that voice saying all of that starts to sound a little quieter, a little smaller each day and the voice of your crewmates and team becomes louder. Letting you know that you might not feel at your best, but they couldn’t ask for anymore than what you’ve given. Does that help answer your question?”

-Lt. jg Dael Stadi, CE