Posted by Lieutenant Ayla Sharise (Counselor) in Psych Evaluation of Peter “Wraith” McGarvey - Counselor’s Office

Posted by Ensign Peter “Wraith” McGarvey (Security Officer) in Psych Evaluation of Peter “Wraith” McGarvey - Counselor’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Ayla Sharise (Counselor) in Psych Evaluation of Peter “Wraith” McGarvey - Counselor’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Ayla actually had to pause in her observance in order to take a moment to recognize the pit of feeling that had been dropped into her body, wrap it up gently and tuck it away. People didn’t quite understand that emotions carried weight and that when a psi-positive person took them on, they had to be physically dealt with one way or another. In her case, it would likely mean some meditation or a martial arts workout.

He had turned towards her, if there was any sign of the pain that his emotions had caused her Wraith would be capable of seeing them, he remembered as she spoke that she was empathic.

“Tell me about this greater good. What does that look like for you in everyday life?” Sharise said once she had quietly composed herself.

Lt. Sharise, CNS

“It means discipline, training, always being alert. I do my job, and I do my duty: the duty of keeping people safe; on this ship, in my circle of people I care about… my family. In the everyday it simply means preparation. In the moments of action, it means unfettered instant and appropriate reactions.” He paused as he considered the situation. Rather than address the weight he must have placed on her psyche he instead walked over to his mini bar by the desk. On it was a collection of both alcoholic beverages such as whiskey and andorian ale, but also a kettle of hot water and several varieties of teas and coffees.

“Would you like something to drink while continue?” He asked as he stood by the collection.

-Ensign Peter “Wraith” McGarvey (Security)

Sharise smiled. “Sure, surprise me,” she said openly.

She watched him thoughtfully as he got them drinks, and then responded. “The thing about appropriate responses is that each person has a different sense of that that is. It’s informed by their experiences, their training and their cultural beliefs. How do you reconcile that difference as a security officer. How do you take all those things and decide what is appropriate.”

Lt. Sharise, CNS

He decided that they both could stand to have a port. So after looking at the two ports that his collection afforded him he decided upon a earth based bottle. It was one of his personal favorites and one that he would often sip by the fireside when collecting his thoughts. He handed her the glass as she spoke.

Ayla sipped the port lightly. She wasn’t one to drink heavily so she was comfortable with a sipping liquor like port.

He sat down and pondered her question not with the face of one who had never thought of the question before but in fact exactly the opposite, he wore the face of a man who had contemplated this very thing in many avenues of life not just security.

“Victory is what we are really talking about, how do we measure success. In the field of security I have always measured it by the number of people who live and the number of enemies eliminated. It’s not a perfect system I understand and even feel that. Rarely can you have a 100% survival rate when a situation arises. Dealing with even one loss on my side isn’t something that I’ve ever been good at, granted I have always been good about not allowing others to see the hurt it causes. That’s part of why I have a place like this, a place that I can get away to and not need to be Wraith for a moment. But all that aside, if I was able to preserve even one life in a conflict I’d consider it a victory. So that’s how I’d answer that, as long as I’m not going against the Spirit of the Prime Directive, as long as I’m upholding my own beliefs in the process, then victory is attainable by any and all means inside of that. I do understand that means that for someone like me it may mean a much darker and some would say questionable road. But as long as those criteria are met for me really Star Fleet could ask me to do about anything and further I would do just about anything to protect those in my care…” He thought for a moment.

“The good news is that as long as one is vigilant, in security, then that is usually the biggest sacrifice to make, vigilance. By my being always aware of what could go wrong I can stop it before it does or at the very least as it does.”

-Ensign Peter “Wraith” McGarvey (Security)

Sharise was quiet throughout his explanation. It was something he had clearly given some thought about before and she had no reason to interrupt or interject. By comparison, she was about to say very little, but she had given it no less thought. “Why did you assume my question referred to battle?”

Lt. Sharise, CNS

He sighed with the question. It almost felt like someone had called him out but not in a bad way. Here he was talking about the one thing that he felt comfortable with; yet the one thing he secretly wished he didn’t feel comfortable with. At first, he felt unprepared for the question because it was true that he had narrowed his mental focus to the one category. However, as he sat and pondered for just a half moment, he was able to bring forward words to describe how he felt about everything else too.

“On the side it’s because that’s what my life has primarily been a battle, its why I joined Star Fleet, it’s what I did before Star Fleet and in some way I’ll probably do after Star Fleet assuming I make it that far. But there is more to it: I’ve come to realize that most of life is a battle in some way, people make moves you need to understand whether they are hostile, friendly, or neutral. It’s funny everything really is combat. Decisions in life matter and they trickle out and effect one another. I live my life as strategically…” he paused he was about to say a lie, he was about to present tense and he realized that was false.

“I used to live my whole life as a strategy, I didn’t take things for granted and I would make sure that the pieces fit together. After Catherine died, I gave up on living I just went into what I knew, what I could control.” he hadn’t planned on being quite so blunt but it rolled out with the admission, it was almost more for himself that Sharise.

-Ensign Peter “Wraith” McGarvey (Security)

“And yet, if there is one thing you really can’t control, it’s people. They have their own issues and challenges, their own way of viewing the Universe. And yet, on this ship, your job really, at its heart, has nothing to do with fighting, but with balancing safety and risk,” Ayla said, as much as an explanation for her thoughts behind her own question as a prompt for him to work with.

Lt. Sharise, CNS

“Isn’t that at the heart of control? Safety and risk? I don’t mean to go all philosophical but I’ve rarely met someone who wasn’t driven by these concepts, the drive and desire to stay safe or to protect something or someone else. Make no mistake I have my own deep seated beliefs about the universe, however, people always come back to these concepts. If you but take the time to learn how someone views those things, what does the person care about, how much, what do they fear? Each of these questions and so many more lead us to conclusions and understandings. I review the files of everyone that I can on this ship, I try to learn about each that I work with because it removes the unknown, which in turn reduces risk and promotes safety.”

Wraith looked calm as he sipped his drink. Knowledge truly was power and Peter had learned to make it his business a long time ago.

-Ensign Peter “Wraith” McGarvey (Security)