Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Can’t Go Home

Posted by Lieutenant Dr Tealor Tessan (MIA) in You Can’t Go Home

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in You Can’t Go Home
Posted by… suppressed (59) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Lt. Elbbirt led her back to Sickbay. Dradvia followed, she didn’t say a word. She was so grateful to be away from Colonel Quade. He terrified herShe barely breathed. The corridors were too utilitarian, smelled too right, the people too familiar to her. Some smiled, some tried to speak to her. She dropped her gaze, fighting every flinch, ever impulse to run. Lokhar would beat her if she misbehaved.

No, no… he’d given her away. Thrown her away.

Elbbirt walked into the medical bay. She nodded to Cmdr Salen as they entered. Dradvia stopped suddenly. The last time she was here a marine had grabbed her and taken her away. And now one was captaining the ship. She froze. Anyone else would shake and cry. Dradvia could only stand still and not breathe.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

She watched Dradvia, she had no idea what she was going through, but the pain and fear, and loss she felt was real enough. “That will be all Lieutenant thank you” Reya said standing and walking over to Dradvia, once the Lieutant was gone, she wrapped her arms around Dradvia, “I was so relieved what I heard you had been found, ”

Reya Salen

Dradvia went very stiff and then thrashed until she was away. “Don’t touch me. No one is allowed to touch me.” She was breathing too hard. Run she had to run. Get away, Get Away! She was too stressed, too scared, to be ashamed of her rudeness. She remembered Cmdr Salen. She was kind. She was Dr. Tessan’s friend. Her eyes darted around the medical bay and toward the small office. “Where’s Dr. Tessan?” The question was whispered. She… she thought he would meet her. He … he promised not to abandon her. She… she thought he meant it.

She was taken, and now he didn’t want to see her. She had thought… at the end she had heard him. But it was just that memory in her head.

Star Fleet had really taken and tortured him?! Because of her? No… no it was just her stupid wishing that someone would save her. No one wanted her. She went rigid, posture too perfect, composure too… just too everything. “En. Dradvia reporting, Cmdr.” It was perfect, exact, not a single flaw, but inside Salen felt the utter ruins that was all that was left.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya could feel the utter panic in the woman, but she did not react she just finished the hug. “Please sit down Dradvia” she said motioning to the tell. How does she tell Dradvia that her friend is missing and most likely been killed. There was the vid, maybe she would show her that first, but it might make it harder.

Reya Salen

“Yes Ma’am.” Dradvia went to sit exactly where she was standing, as if she would take a place on the floor. She stopped herself and moved to the chair. The one she always sat in in this office, and then stopped. She choose the other chair. Sitting with perfect posture, her eyes focused ahead, but not directly at Reya. She licked her lips, she was so thirsty. She gripped her hands tightly trying to ignore it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Dradvia, “There is no easy way to tell you this, but Tealor” she noted tears pooling in her eyes. “Went after you, and he was captured and is missing” she said. “He is ” she started to say presumed dead but could not bring herself to say it. “He left you a video, to give you should something ever happen to him, I can play it for you if you like?”

Reya Salen

Dradvia blinked. Her thoughts and emotions screamed in denial and guilt and strange memories of Tealor being tortured and killed while she was with him. And then…

Nothing. Everything shit down, locked behind a wall with no key.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya new the look all to well she had see it in tealor when he first came to here. Rey stood and pulled a chair next to dradvia’s and just sat with her.

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia didn’t come out of it on her own. NO! No! He doesn’t know anything! Please help him! He’s Dying! Silent tears slipped out of her eyes, but she was so still, so gone it was impossible to tell she was still breathing. Dr. Tessan, Please! Wake up! I’ll get you help, I promise! In her mind she was screaming, banging on the door. Please Help Him! Please! He’s Dying! I’m Thristy! Please PLEASE!

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dradvia” tealors voice echoed in her mind. “Just relax, and let Dr Reya in, she can help you, she can help me” he said appearing next to her. “I’m still her,” he suggested.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia slipped out of the chair onto the floor. She curled into a tiny ball, the tears falling so heavy she would dehydrate herself. “No, no, you’re dead. It’s my fault. I couldn’t stop them, you died and it’s my fault.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya got a glass a water and set it on the table infront of them “Dradvia there is water on the table” she said reachingn down to put one hand on her shoulder.. “You are going to be ok, “

Dradvia flinched away from the touch. Some part of her knew it was kindness, but she couldn’t stop the fear. She hated being touched.

“Really? Get up, drink some water” Tealors voice ringing out in her head, “I’m not dead I’m just missing” he said. .”Now quit with the theatrics I sent Reya to you cause I knew I could trust her with your care.” he said.. “Now quit being dramatic and get up” his voice said.

Reya Salen

The words hurt. She was letting him down, disappointing him. She had no right to be upset or feel bad for herself. She was at fault, she had to accept that. Pain and guilt and shame lanced along her arms sharply, so painful it stole her breath. She reached with shaking hands for the water. She sipped it, her body obeying. “It should have been me. I t… t… told him not to!”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya did not flinch at her retraction, “Dradvia, it was you, you were taken, and would you let Tealor be taken without trying to get him?” she asked, “It’s not your fault” she said softly. She thought quietly, I need you to get better so we can go find him

Reya Salen

Dradvia didn’t believe her. And her desperation went unthought for fear of that disappointed voice of Tessan in her head again. But she knew… she knew she would never have gone after him. She was too afraid. She wasn’t brave enough. Her mind went numb again. It was the only way to function now.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Eventually Cmdr Salen got Dradvia calm enough to return to her quarters for the first time. Dradvia tried, she really did, but she just couldn’t do it. She thought she wanted to be alone, in her own space. She tried to be just with herself, in the quiet, but it was worse than it had ever been. Sometime in the wee hours of Gamma shift there was a chime at Cmdr Salen’s door.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya closed her robe and stood. “Moment” she called out, she opened the door. “Dradvia?” she said moving aside. “Come on in, and have a seat” she said and replicating two warm milks, she said it down on the coffee table. “How can I help you” she said sipping the milk

Reya Salen

Dradvia’s gaze dropped to the floor as she stepped inside, wringing her hands. She moved to a seat and sat very still and very stiff. “I’m… I’m sorry. I… I didn’t know where to go.” There was a ache in her voice, she was trying not to cry. “I… I can’t sleep alone, I’m too scared.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya stood back up left the room and quickly returned to the main room. She put fresh linen on the sofa, a pillow, and a thick full length Robe and clean pajamas. “You can stay here till we sort through that, ok?” Reya said, she would not normally do that but this was a special situation and given the small ship there were not really many options.

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia chewed on her lip. “I… I don’t have to stay. I just, uh, I just wanted to know if you would let me work in sickbay? I can inventory or clean. Anything. I know I’m not allowed patients. I just… please don’t make me be alone.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“First I want you to sleep, I will be here, if you can’t sleep find something to lay on the couch and read. ” she said, “If you you are really uncomfortable you can do one of two things, sleep with me in my bed, or sleep on the couch cussions near my bed if it makes your feel safter” she looked at here, “As to working in Sickbat, inventory sound like a good place to start but under supervision by me ok? at least for a few days?”

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded looking at her hands. Lt McKenzie had told her that. She wouldn’t be allowed to work alone for awhile. She wished the woman had come with her. She had liked her, felt safe around her. But… but she thought Tessan would be here. She liked Salen, she just didn’t know her well. “I… I’ll be okay right here. Ththth… thank you.” She took the blanket and wrapped it around herself. She curled up in a ball on the chair, closed her eyes, and tried to relax.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

She watched Dradvia for a short time, “Try to get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning, I’m glad your back Dradvia” she said as she went back to bed.

“Thank you.” Dradvia’s response was quiet, soft, barely more than a flicker of thought, but it was sincere. She curled into the chair and watched the planet rotate below them.

She’s trying to help you, dradvia, she cares and will treat you better than I did tealor rang in her subconscious. *

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

No! NO! You didn’t do anything wrong. STOP SAYING THAT!. Tealor had been the only person who made her feel like her effort was enough. He didn’t dismiss her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

They capatured you, I obviously did something wrong he said. You should watch the video he noted

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shook her head, even though no one was there to see it. No one can stop the Syndicate Dr Tessan. And you were ill. The man didn’t have a violent bone in his body. There was nothing he could have done.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

You are wrong Dradvia, I should have kept you safe his thoughts rang out

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

No one can keep me safe, and now you’re gone because you didn’t listen. Your death is my fault.

who Says Im dead? his thoughts invaded her space.

Because I cannot bear knowing what they are doing to you if you are alive.

She fell into an uneasy, terrified, grief stricken sleep. The moment someone walked by in the corridor though, she was awake. She moved, absolutely silent, into a corner and curled up as small as possible until the panic passed.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Rey stepped into the common room, Dradvia was asleep on the floor in the corner of the the room. poor thing she thought, starting some real coffee and replicated some breakfast. The Smell of Eggs and Bacon permedated the room

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

The smell woke her, and for a moment panic flooded her system as she woke instantly. Breakfast was here, she hadn’t woken early enough to go get it. Fear and pain flooded her. Followed by confusion when her eyes opened. Then, finally recognition and the universe settled.

She was in Cmdr Salen’s quarters. She had let Dradvia stay there over night. She stood quickly, tugging and brushing off her uniform. Her hands clasped in feont of her, her gaze focused just over Salen’s shoulder. “Th… thank you for letting me stay.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“It’s not a problem at all, Dradvia, I’ll have a bed put together, you can stay with me for a while, as you aclimate back to the ship ok?” she said pushing a plate her direction. “It wont be a problem, really” she said. Truth was she wanted to help her, but also needed someone around who was also missing Tealor. He had to be alive, he would not give up that easy.

Reya Salen

Dradvia hugged herself. “Thank you,” she said again quietly. She looked at the food. In her mind Salen could hear her reciting a mantra that Mrs. McKenzie had taught her. Reminding herself that she was allowed to make her own choices, to care for herself, if she was hungry she could eat. If she wasn’t she could refuse.

This part was easier when she was alone because there was no one watching her and she could.make decisions without fear of judgment. Mrs. McKenzie explained why she couldn’t hide. Dradvia understood, but it was still difficult.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dradvia, You are free to say no, to both the food and the bed, I will not be offended, and it’s not going to reflect on my opion of you one way or another.” Reya said, “I just want to help if I can”

Reya Salen

Dradvia nodded. “I… I know. I… I just… it’s really hard to.... to…,” tears slipped down her cheeks as she sat and hugged herself. “They… they tortured Dr. Tessan because of me. Star Fleet… they… they thought he committed treason because of me. He died and I couldn’t stop it.”

The tears poured. “It was a trick. A holodeck… it seemed so real… what if this is a trick?” She rocked back and forth in her chair.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya blinked a moment. “Dradvia, that is horrible, I would tell you that this is not a hollodeck but I can also see how logically it would be hard to believe” she said. “That is a bit of a problem” she said. “Tealor is resourceful he will find a way home” he noted. “That said I am not sure how I can convince you that this is not a simulation” she said. “I’m open to suggestions”

Reya Salen

Dradvia shook her head. “I don’t know. Mrs. McKenzie said I needed to focus on the … the reasons. They wanted to make me feel like I had no one. That I was alone. They wanted me to suffer. That I needed to decide if what people were doing was trying to hurt me or help me.” She wiped her face roughly.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

She leaned across the counter and listened then waited and thought a moment. “Well I mean my cooking could be considered cruel but the replicator did the work.” she said with a smirk. “Does it feel like i’m trying to hurt or confuse you?”

Reya Salen

Dradvia knew she was supposed to smile, so she did. Though Reya could sense she didn’t feel it. “I’m confused all the time, Cmdr.” She chewed her lower lip and picked at her cuticles. “I don’t think they would use you. I barely know you, and we aren’t close. Using you wouldn’t be… as painful.” She wasn’t trying to be rude, but trying to reason it out. Convince herself.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya smiled she was making an effort and that was more important than her actually being happy at least for the moment. “That makes logical sense,” she said. Tealor had warned her the Dradvia did not do well with compliments they triggered her. “Tell me about the people who brought you here from the syndicate.” he asked. “Were they fleeting with you?” she asked.

Reya Salen

Dradvia curled into herself and shook her head ‘no’. You didn’t talk about the Syndicate. She wasn’t afraid of them though. She was… conflicted about them. “I… they were… careful. I… I didn’t talk to them much.” The woman scarred her, but the man… he’d spoken to her a lot. He was quiet, gentle, but scary too.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Well enough of the third degree, would you like to eat or get to work?” she asked

Reya Salen

“I’d like to eat, please.” Dradvia couldn’t stop the small platitude. It was instinct now, survival. In her head she knew she didn’t need to ask, but her body didn’t believe it. She did reach for the plate and begin eating. Salen could feel how hard that was for Deadvia, but she did it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Reya sat down and gave a slight nod taking her own breakfast and starting to eat “Good, cause i’m hungry” she noted sliding a glass of orange juice over two her. “One of my favorite drinks from earth, that and warm milk she said.”

Reya Salen

“I liked grape juice,” she said quietly. Dradvia took the juice. She sipped it carefully. She liked juice, but the more acidic ones were too much for her recently. While she had been recovering her food had been simple and bland. She nibbled on about half the food before her nerves decided she had had enough.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

At that moment, her combadge beeped, =^= “Incoming message from Elias” =^=

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia sat up, startled by the sudden sound. Her brows drew together, pulling her j’risia down. Elias? Elias Trenor. Why… why was he contacting her? She looked around, afraid to take the call alone, but afraid to have an audience. “I… I can take it in my quarters,” She twisted her hands together as she spoke to Salen.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I can meet you in sickbay” she said standing and moving she was already dressed for work. She souped the last bit of eggs and then grab the bacon and raised an eybrow. “Have fun” she said smiling

Colonel Jackson Quade
Captain U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded. =/\=Put it through to my location please.=/\= Her voice was soft, and she had to clear her throat and speak again. =/\=Confirmed Lt.=/\=. She sat down at Salen’s desk, curled into the chair, knees up, hiding her hands. Why was he calling her? What did he want? She should have had Salen stay. What if he wanted her to do something? When the screen flashed, she answered it. “H…h…hello.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Eli smiled softly, “Ah, Vash wanted me to check in on you and see how you were doing” he said straching his head. “Your uncomfortable, i’m sorry we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I” he cut himself off, he was nervious around her, and he did not like it.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia couldn’t stop the smile that teased just at the corner of her lips. His voice was so soft for such a huge man. He was really gentle too. “Nnn… no. I…,” she looked off the screen, biting her lip and Eli knew she was picking at her fingers or the hem of her shirt. “They sent me back to my ship. I… I got here yesterday. It’s…” she shrugged. It didn’t feel safe.

Vash scared her a little, but Dradvia knew that was because she was half Orion. “Your daughter is really sweet. Tttell her I’m okay.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“owe” he said rubbing his leg. “Vash sa,, I mean I wanted to see how you were too” he said. “Do you like being home? ” he asked rubbing his leg, “You seem a little better, ” he smiled,. Truth was he had enjoyed talking with her when she finally snapped out of her haze, she seemed to understand him, which was rare, vash was the only one that seemed to until now.

Elias

He’d been easy to talk to, and despite of physically big Elias was, he had a way of making himself not threatening. “Home?” she looked lost and confused. She shook her head, “It’s not really home. I…” she looked down this time, avoiding, “I’m able to eat now.” Then she changed the subject, she didn’t seem to be watching him, but she noticed everything. She had to. “Your leg is hurting?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Eli smiled. “No no , it’s ok” he said with a chuckle. Truth was vash had kicked him under the table for not being honest. “Dradvia, I’m sorry it’s not feeling like home ,but eating is good, better than me giving you nutrional infussions. ” he looked down a second. “Are, are they taking good care of you, cause if there not ,i’ll come give em a good thumping” he said suggested.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Oooh okay. That’s good,” it had been what pulled Dradvia out. The pain had registered, and helping people who were sick or injured was the only part of herself that felt safe. She was glad he wasn’t hurting. He had been so gentle giving her those infusions. She’d barely felt them, even after she’d ‘woken up.’ “Star Fleet medical care is excellent.” It was and they were taking care of her, but even if they weren’t she wouldn’t tell Elias. He and his daughter were trying to get to their home. He wouldn’t come, but just in case…

She didn’t feel safe, and she hated being back on the Wolverine. The only reason she agreed was because of Dr. Tessan. Her eyes teared up before she hid it so fast it was hard to tell. “Are… are you both okay?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“We are fine, just working, but you are not, Spill” he said said, he did not like it when she cried but he understood it. Had someone hurt her, or made her feel bad, she was good at hiding but something inside him always seemed to alert him to her deception.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

How did he do that? She looked down again, with that tight crinkle in the corner of her eyes. Mrs. McKenzie said she didn’t have to tell her story to other people. She had a right to her privacy. But… well Elias had this way of asking but really demanding. Even if he didn’t demand it, she wanted to tell him. Her heart and her mind seemed to settle when she did. “It doesn’t feel safe here. And Doct… Doctor Tessan is gone.” She curled tighter into herself. “He… they said he went after me and he never came back,” her voice was so quiet he might not have heard.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Oh Dradiva I’m so sorry” he said “Vash and I will put feelers out see if we can located him ok? ” he said leaning into the camera, “We’ll find him!” he stated. “And if you don’t like it there you don’t have to stay, you come to us and stay, they need good doctors here like everyone else” he knew she needed to stay there and heal but he did not trust starlfeet one bit. she was better off with them, better off living a normal life.

Elias

“No,” she looked up at him. “No, don’t… don’t do that. Your daughter, she… she told me what she’s doing. Buying her freedom. I… I don’t want to ruin that for her. Besides… if… if he went to Ma, to Lokhar, he’s dead.” She looked away and shook her head. “You don’t need the complication of a twice runaway. You… you shouldn’t contact me. They… they’ll hurt you. Both of you.” That bothered her a lot. More than the idea of anyone else ever had. It made her sick in a fundamental way.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He genuinly snorted the thought disgusted him. “If you think they can get the drop on old Eli and Vash, you don’t know us very well” he said. “You listen now, and you hearme, I’ve dealt with far worse than the syndicate, besides we are not runaways and neither are you, you were freed Dradivia, we have the contract signed by The Mistress her self. “Old Eli and Vash will keep you safe” he said finally.

Eli

“You aren’t old,” she muttered. She looked away though. Why did he want to keep her safe? What did he want? “You’re kind, Elias,” she said turning back to the screen. It was easy to look at him. “I don’t belong there though.” She didn’t belong anywhere. She never had. She had hoped it would feel different this time. Coming back to the Wolverine, but it didn’t. And she didn’t believe the letter. Lokhar might answer to the Mistress, but that didn’t mean Lokhar had let her go. She didn’t know how she felt about that good bye. Maybe the Mistress forced him? Maybe he would still come after her.

Her body trembled with fear as she looked down at her lap in shame again. He would find her, and she’d go. She was broken, she’d go. She knew she would, even though it would kill her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He stared at her a second, “I’m kind, sure but I’m not nice” he noted. “You listen and you listen good, none of us belong anywhere, you find people you can belong know where with, and then you’ll have a home” he said quoting his grandfather. “You know my story, loss is a part of life, but we gain so much when we find the right people” he said hoping that some day she would find them. “I like talking to you Dradvia, it’s” he paused as if something had eluded him. “easy” he said finally. “Just know there is a home here if you want one” he smiled.

Eli

Her lips twitched again on their own. He liked saying that. ‘You listen, you listen good.’ It made her grin when he said it. She understood what he was saying, but she didn’t think she had people.

“Thank you,” she said it quietly, “Your easy to talk with too.” He was. She didn’t feel the stress around him or the shame. Well not as horribly anyway. He didn’t disbelieve her when she talked, she didn’t feel dirty when he looked at her. She just felt… okay. Not normal but okay.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Are you at least working yet? able to keep distracted, vash and I are working on the the Job we were givin, it’s slow boring work” he smirked. “Just my speed” he laughed

Eli