Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in Weekly Requirements

Posted by Lieutenant Dr Tealor Tessan (CMO/CNS) in Weekly Requirements

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in Weekly Requirements
Posted by… suppressed (55) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
He looked at her, his eyes soft, the back pools reflecking the light in the room back at her. He had wanted her to sit with her feelings for longer than she had, but it was a start. “If that is what you wish, I’m here if you need anything.” He said standing, “Please continue with your exercises and I’ll see you next week”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She nodded as she unfolded and stood. “Thank you.” It was only a breath of sound before she was gone. She didn’t go back to her room. She didn’t seek out her friend. She went to the holodeck and ran a garden program. She entered and made her way across the monastery grounds to a small copse of trees. There was a cat in this program that she was very fond of. She knew it was holographic, but she liked it anyway.

She sat there, in the serenity, the cat curled on her lap, and sat with her feelings. It was safer to do it alone.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

---

The following week came. It had been tumultuous. Dradvia was conflicted and confused about so much. But she knew she would never talk to Tessan about it. It was just too awkward and private. Then ther we was that horrible incident with Stevens. Even after a few days, no one had said anything, so she hoped no one knew and gossiped. She could hope.

Right on time she waited outside Tessan’s office door. Incase anyone was in there she didn’t want to ring the chime and disturb them.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Evening Ensign” he said as he replicated cool water and his tea. “Please have a seat”. He was now using his empathic abilities full time, he had found them very beneficial to help him gauge his patients better. He was still not pushing though unless there was something that could be gained for the patient by doing so.

Dradvia moved over to the chair and sat. She eyed the water, and carefully picked up when it was set near her. She took a decent sized drink.

After she settled in he spoke, “So how was your week” Tealor knew before she had come into the room that there had been an situation with Stevens, But rumors were everything from she was overreacting to stevens had assaulted her in various ways. Given that there was at least a friendship forming between her and Zoi, he imagined the man would be in his infirmary had it been too bad. Tealors face was neutral as it always was, his black eyes looking back at her.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“It was okay.” She shrugged which was Dradvia speak for feeling awkward and hoping no one asked any more questions.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He looked at her. “You obviously have had a bit of a week, you know I can feel that, ” he stated. “And I’m not going to force you to talk to me about what’s going on in your life” he said. “But I feel like that is why we are here so I can help you process things.” he noted.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She really did not want to talk about anything that happened this week. Not with Stevens and nit with Sisnil. One scared her and one was far too personal. She shrugged because she didn’t know what to say. She wouldn’t lie, but of she said anything before she knew what he knew, she could say too much. “There isn’t much to process.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He looked at her for a moment, “Ok, well if that changes then please let me know” he said. “Shall we continue with the regression then?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

That long stare made her squirm. It was obvious he didn’t quite believe her explanation. Did he already know? Was she going to get in trouble for not saying something? “It was just a little misunderstanding with Lt Stevens,” she blurted out in a rush. Maybe Stevens had said something? Was he trying to get her into trouble so he could demand things?

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor could feel the chaos now swelling around in her brain. “What sort of misunderstanding, Ensign?” he asked, he noted something down in his Padd

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She was used to counselors taking notes. The first few times it had really bothered her, but now it was just normal. Except just then it made her anxiety worse. What was he writing?

Dradvia chewed on her lip. It was degrading, and any way she put it, it would sound like a complaint. It would cause trouble and more confrontation. “Just a personal misunderstanding. We… we disagreed on the answer.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor thought a moment he could feel, “I see” he said, “Well as I mentioned if that changes please let me know” he said he could tell she was holding back but it’s her choice if she did not want to deal with it. “So shall we move on to regression?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded, “Yes.” She set the glass of water down and wrapped her hands around her upper arms. She adjusted her gaze to the floor between her feet and breathed in a few times.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Ok relax and think about the time you want to work on” he said his voice very monotone.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia thought about it for a moment and then concentrated on what had happened. She’d been heading toward the holodeck to use the garden program. The ship had suddenly come to an all stop. She’d panicked so bad, she’d run all the way back to her quarters and locked the door.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He felt the rise in anxiety, “Ok walk me through what’s happening” he said is voice still soft, she was getting comfortable with the process now. People at this point would tend to draw inward and not relay what was going on. It was important for them that they not do that, it would increase the chance of full regression which was not controlled.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“I… was going to the holodeck. The session…ship came to a full stop. I,” it was shameful. Really. She knew in her head she was okay, but.... “I ran to my quarters and hid.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor fingers quietly tapped in some information, “And why are you hiding?” he asked,

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

That was almost worse than the memories. Dradvia knew why she was hiding. She knew she wasn’t on Lokhar’s ship. She knew the odds were slight (but never zero) that nothing bad had made them stop. She couldn’t stop her reaction though. “B…bbecause I don’t know why we stopped or what is going to happen.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor felt for her, it was always in the back of her mind the threat that was not likely to come. “proceed, what happened next?” he asked.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shrugged. “I… I stayed in my room with the door locked.” There was more, but … but did she want to say? “My… my friend found me and sat with me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor listened to here, noting her breathing and what she was saying, “What happened between you locking the door and your friends arrival, was it a short or long time?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shook her head after a moment. “I’m not sure. I… I don’t remember.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“That’s ok, go back to just before you entered your quarters” he asked, “Some times we have to replay a little, tell me what you thought as you entered the room”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia thought about it. She only remembered panicking (she started to again) and… “I needed to hide. If I kept the lights off and was quiet no one could find me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked at his notes, “After the thought, what did you do next?” he ask, he was going to step her through this event, it was odd that she chose it yet it seemed like a non event. Tealor reached deeper into her feelings incase her subconscious was hiding something.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

For Dradvia, the shifting of the engines was a reminder of the constant fear and instability of that time. It wasn’t one particular time of not knowing, but the constant exposure to the repeated torturous not knowing what would happen next, in the immediate future hours (at most).

“Ummm,” her voice uttered between heavy breaths. “I used the manual lock on the door.” She stopped as a huge wave of self-preservation crashed over her. If she told him where she was hiding, then he could find her there. It wouldn’t protect her any more.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor waited for a moment, he wanted to see where her anxiety level was. “what do you see, smell, hear” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia swallowed trying to remember. “It’s really dark. Just the black shape of the furniture.” She shook her head her hands flexing over her arms. “Umm the quiet. The engines are quiet…” She shook her head harder that time. “I don’t remember.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor’s voice remained calm and somber, “That’s ok, what happened next?” he asked trying to push her a little deeper, “If your uncomfortable start your tapping” he noted, seeing her grip tighten.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia started tapping, but her expression was upset and stressed. Her brows drew together. “Ummm…” she was confused. She couldn’t remember. “Ummm? My friend came.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He could feel her stress how it was making her feel. “I don’t need to know who it was , you know. ” he said. “Focus on how you felt when they arrived.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Scared, I didn’t know who it was.” Her emotions were truly a swirling miasma of confusion about her friend. “Relieved I guess it was him.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor nodded it was involuntary . “Go back to just before he came, did he knock or just enter?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shook her head. “He always knocks. He never comes in.” She tried to remember and suddenly shuddered and jumped. “The knock was really loud, like pounding. He doesn’t do that.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor spoke softly, “It’s ok ensign, start your breathing, once you are ready continue” he said

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia tried counting, but it took her longer than normal to get her rhythm. It took longer before she could continue. Then suddenly she stopped the rhythmic breathing and tapping. She hugged herself in a more agitated fashion. Her gaze came up, “I can’t remember.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Can you not remember? or is it something you don’t want to share?” He asked, the question was soft and not presented as an accusation. Missing memory was a sign of trauma or worse.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shook her head. “I can’t remember.” It was freaking her out. “I… I went to my quarters. Someone was pounding on my door. I… I think there was yelling, but… I don’t know.” She shook her head, like it would make it make sense. “Then… Si… my friend knocked.” She felt like there was more. She hadn’t disassociated in a long time. Had she fallen asleep instead?

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor leaned forward, “We really should get to why there is time loss, I can regress you further, or I can enter your mind and help you.” he was now concerned gaps like this were normally caused by extreme trauma.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia was upset too because she didn’t think anything that horrible had happened. Just her trauma reactions. “Could… could I have just stressed myself too much?” She didn’t want it to be something new.

She shook her head, “No, I… I want to remember on my own.” She wanted to try anyway before Tessan resorted to using his telepathy.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor shook his head,”It’s possible that stress might cause little gaps, but this feels like a large gap, it could be a flashback as well” he said not wanting to cause to much concern. “Close your eyes and got back to where you first entered the room.” he suggested, his voice becoming suttle and drawing. “Slowly walk yourself to where you memory goes blank, don’t panic, take a few steps back and start looking at your surroundings, what you hear, what you smell, the air in the room, the lighting. try to find details and then step forward and do it again”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia couldn’t close her eyes. She knew it helped, but she felt too vulnerable alone in the office. Tessan was nice, and she felt bad about it, but she just couldn’t yet.

She stared down at the floor between her feet. She remembered going in her quarters and locking the door. She moved toward her bed and her blanket. Then…then Sisnil being there....

“Ummm…I hear the lock engage when I touched the controls, the air is…” she shrugged, “just recycled air. Clean but odorless. Ummm…it’s dark, just light from under the door. A little glow from the computer terminal. I can just make out the shapes of my desk.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor noticed that she still had her eyes open and that he still made her uncomfortable, which was expected she was alone in a room with him. “now take a step forward, and do it again”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Her brows drew together. “I’m… I was,” she corrected herself, “cold. I wanted my blanket. I… I remember thinking it was darker than normal because the stars weren’t streaking past. I set my hand on the desk so I wouldn’t bump it in the dark.”

Her breathing increased suddenly and she curled into herself.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor felt the withdraw,, “Ensign what are you feeling?” he asked, he needed to draw her backout, something was most certainly wrong.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Trapped.” She was breathing harder. “They’re looking for me. I’ll get in trouble, but I don’t want to go. Master will punish me. I’m scared.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Ensign you are on the Wolverine, you have no master here.” he noted. “You are trying to remember what happened in your quarters.” he noted reaching out with his mind a little deeper to get a full sense of where she was.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She swallowed. The Wolverine?

In her mind she was in a dark room, like a small cargo bay or storage room, hiding behind boxes, curled in a ball. Voices were yelling, the guards were pounding on things. Threatening her specifically if she didn’t answer.

It was melded with someone rapidly and loudly banging on her quarters’ door. They were yelling her name angrily. Or to her it was. Tessan might interpret it as frustration and irritation bordering on exasperated with a hint of mad. They were clearly upset at her lack of response and banged louder.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor felt her confusion, “Ensign Dradvia, stay on the Wolverine don’t go back in your past, stay in the present in you quarters.” he said he had to get her to focus or he was going to have to try to pull her out of it.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She swallowed again and nodded just slightly. The Wolverine. “Ummm… my quarters…” is was more question than statement. “I… I’m scared.” But she couldn’t remember why.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor thought a moment. “Look around you in the room what do you see what could be threating you right now” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“I… it’s dark, just… furniture.” Had someone been in her room? No… she didn’t think so. “I… I wanted my blanket. I was cold; I wanted to sleep.” Her brows drew down. “I don’t… I don’t see anything.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor noticed she keeped skiping from when she entered the room and then the next thing she is cold looking for a blanket and was cold. “Why are you cold?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

The question seemed to give some order to her thoughts. “I.. I uh always get cold when… panic attacks.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked at her for a moment trying to decide what to do next. “Ok Ensign one more time, take yourself back to when you entered the room and slowly walk through it again” he asked, he wanted to make sure she was not just skipping for other reasons.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia took a breath. This time it was more steady and slow. “I entered my quarters and manually locked the door. I left the lights off. I was cold and wanted my blanket.” It was more than being cold. It was a havey weighted blanket. It was like a hug. “I moved toward my bed to get it. I… I bumped my hip, so I put my hand on my desk so I wouldn’t do it again. The only light was from under the door and from my terminal.” What did she do next?

“I went around my desk and I… I fell…” She didn’t remember falling… She pulled in a sharp distressed inhale. “Someone was pounding on my door, yelling for me to unlock it. It scared me and I fell.” Her fingers twitched like they might tap but didn’t know what to do. “I don’t want them in my room.” It was a whisper, quiet, scared, pleading.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor’s soft voice cut through the talk, she was doing better this time around and he hoped she would move into more detail from this point. He did not want to push into your privacy but needed the events to come out. “Breath nice and slow, ” he encouraged mimicking, he new at this point praise could trigger her, “You said, they, did they come in the room?” he asked not probing for a name but the event

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She tried to follow his breaths. They sounded overly loud in the room, but she couldn’t quite breathe as slowly. “I… I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. “Someone banged on my door, not the chime. I fell…” her brows drew together. Did she hit her head? She’ had a horrible headache, but she thought it was from the panic attack. “They… were yelling at me to open the door.”

“I think… they… I don’tknow. I felt like they wanted to hurt me.. then I… I remember my friend knocking.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He looked at her concerned it seemed like she either hurt her head, or there was something very wrong going on. There was to much confusion in it. There was a “They were at her door and then it was her friend. It could be as simple as she was having a flash back while her friend was trying to get her attention. They needed to be sure. “And your friend did you let them in? what happened next.” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine