Posted by Lieutenant Dr Tealor Tessan (CMO/CNS) in Weekly Requirements

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in Weekly Requirements

Posted by Lieutenant Dr Tealor Tessan (CMO/CNS) in Weekly Requirements
Posted by… suppressed (52) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
“Yes Sir.” Dradvia was quick to leave. She had no plans, but was glad to be free. Seven whole days before she had to do that again. She had reserved time in the holodeck. She was going to see Umbra. No, she wasn’t a real cat, but Dradvia enjoyed the program.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor waited for her to leave and then went back to his desk, finalized his notes. He stared out the window thinking on his own past.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

It was time for another appointment. Dradvia was tired. She had dark circles under her eyes, and she was quieter than normal. Not that anyone noticed, and no one could complain about the quality of her work.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Talor opened the door with a smile and then saw the dark under eyes. He did not react thought. “Come in Ensign, have a seat if you like.” there was already a tall cold class of water sitting on the table and his usual cup of hot tea. He waited for her to sit before he did.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia entered and sat. She supposed she could stand, but she was tired. She took the chair opposite his desk, and then wondered if she should stand given how tired she was. “Dr. Tessan.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked at her a moment..”Not sleeping still?” he asked, she had been using the device now it should be helping stableize her chemistry making it very easy for her to get some sleep, he woundered if she was intentionally not using it or if she was staying up too late,or both. Her work was on target so he was unsure.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She sensed disapproval or judgement. “I… I was. I’ve had nightmares the last couple of nights.” Night terrors really.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealors eyes were set with compassion, “I’m very sorry to hear that, ” he noted .”Are you using the band at night?” he asked if she was night terrors were very unlikely, likely it would need to be adjusted, or someone had adjusted and did it wrong. They might need to do observation, record as she slept to see how her brain was reacting to the simulation.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded, “Yes, Sir. Every night like you told me. I did forget it the other night. I fell asleep before I pit it on. Last night it fell off. I guess I didn’t put it on right.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor noded and reached in the top door of his desk, “I think we need to understand if it’s actually doing what it’s supposed to be doing , the calabration may need to be adjusted.” he said handing her what looked like a small attachment very small and very light weight. “There is a port in the side, plug it in. I took it out intitally to give you some space” he said. “Use it the next two nights please it will report the sensor data to me when you wake up. Sleep is key ” he said and sat back down.

“Other than the lack of sleep and the night terrors how has everything else beend?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“They’re okay.” She still wasn’t completely trusting or ready to really share things, and some… it felt wrong to share.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Scale of One to Ten, one being the worst, how would you rate this last week compared to all the others since you and I started talking?”

“Anything happen this week that caused more anxiety than normal while you were working or relaxing?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

It was there in her eyes. Something had happened, but then it was gone. Replaced by a lighter look. There were more good things this week than bad. The bad was bad, but the good was… confusing. “A seven, I guess.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

They had lots of time so Tealor was not about to let that slide, besides the night terrors might be to much for her to regress into. “Are you sure Ensign, something there felt pretty heavy?” he noted.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia nodded. “Yes. I mean it wasn’t perfect, but over all more good than not. I… I think I might have made a friend.” There was so much hope swirling inside her, and caution.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked a little supriesed. “I must admit that’s not what I was expecting. That’s a good thing” he said trying to let it sink in. Tealor looked at he for a long moment, friends was something that was going to be hard for her given her loss, and the lack of trust that she had. It was something that was critical in her healing.

It wasn’t the heavy thing Tessan had sensed, but it was part of the truth.
He sensed that maybe she was holding something back, but this was to good a thing for her to pass up digging maybe it would come out what ever it was that she was holding back.

“How does that make you feel?” he asked.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia shrugged. “I don’t know. Mostly confused.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor searched her posture looking to read more than just her feelings, how was she holding her self when she talked about, what here her hands doing . “Oh, what’s confusing or rather serperate that in to more distinct feelings” he suggested.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Her arms were crossed holding her forearms, like a hug. She was protecting something. The rest of her posture was relaxed and open though, so not herself. She looked a little more awake despite her lack of sleep.

She sighed though, looking conflicted. “I can’t. I mean, I know, but I can’t tell you. If I tell you, you’ll ask why. I can’t tell you why because I gave my word.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor look at her for a long minute trying to discern the truth of it. Finally her resigned that she was trying to be loyal. “How about you tell me and I’ll not ask why? Keeping you word is a good thing.” he said quite plainly. “I don’t need to know the who or why of it I don’t think. I will say though if someone is asking you to keep things from your theropist, in most cases I couldn’t say anything any way. I would personal question that if I were you.” he noted. “If it’s because they want privacy then that’s ok, makes sense?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“It isn’t specifically you, just in general. They want privacy, and it’s not my story to tell. It isn’t anything that makes me break my oath to Star Fleet or to myself.” She relaxed her grip on her arms. “He didn’t ask. I offered because I could tell they were uncomfortable.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor was satisfied with that answer.. “Good, I can respect that, if you offered it then please say no more.” he thought it wierd the thought of her breaking her oath had not really crossed his mind, and he certianly did not want to put that directly into her file. expressed that she was not compromising her ethics he wrote which was enough to trigger the memory for him but would not raise any flags in the system.

“I’m glad that you found a friend? maybe” he said finally “We can move on, would you like to try some more regression? or would you rather just talk today?” he asked

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She really didn’t want to do the regression. She still felt raw from the night terrors. But that was the treatment she had agreed to try. “I… I I guess regression.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor thought about it for a moment or two. “Ok if you think you are up to it?” he asked.

“I’ll try,” Dradvia said. She was not sure at all she was up for it, but she’d given her word to try the treatment, so she was going to try.

“If I feel like you are slipping to deep I’m going to bring you out” he said he waited for her to get into position and relax her breathing, once she had settled in he pressed forward. “Go back to bed time last night, what was going on before bed?” he asked.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She crossed her arms back, hugging herself, fixing her gaze on the floor. Today that hug felt really lonely. She could remember the last time someone had hugged her. It had been Kryssa, so long ago. No one since then. She only had herself for comfort, and today that just hurt in a soul crushingly final way. Right before bed? “I was reading. It was early, but I was tired because I didn’t sleep well the night before.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor thought on the loneliness its seemed separated from what she was telling him. “Tell me about the loneliness you are feeling? It seems unrelated to your evening.” he asked. Loneliness was a hard thing to deal with, he felt it most the time, there could be a hundred people in the room and he still felt alone most the time. There were a few people he did not feel that way with though.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Oh.” She wasn’t expecting that question. “I was…”she sighed giving a self conscious shrug. “I was just thinking that I’m the only person that hugs me. The last person who hugged me was Kryssa.” She shrugged again. “It’s not a fair reaction since I won’t let anyone touch me. It’s Just a pity party.” She blew it off before he could.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor raised his hand, “You don’t need to dismiss your feelings, you have the right to feel lonely and want the experience of contact, and not allow the contact at the same time. It’s ok” he said sliding out from behind his desk, he showed her” instead of hugging,” give her history it was not likely working as well with her anyway, “Place your hands on the side of each of your thighs about mid way here” he pointed on his own leg. “And press firmly in the same timing as the tapping. It works the same” he said and then moved back to where he was. “Proceed again when your ready.”

OOC: the hugging technique is supposed to produce delta waves, if a person had a tramatic child hood it may not work as well.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

OOC: The hugging was working it just struck her as sad today.

IC: “Oh… al… alright.” She set her hands on her legs like he showed her. It didn’t feel comfortable, it felt… vulnerable. “I didn’t mind the hugging,” she clarified, but did as he instructed.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He looked at her for a second, “Please do which ever makes you the most comfortable out of the two” he suggested, “And continue”. it really did not matter what she chose they would over time both have similar effects. He simply wanted to remove emotional interruptions, Loneliness was something that would need to be worked on, and he was honest he was not sure how to deal with that himself.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia hugged herself. She felt more comfortable that way. Continue… what had they been doing? Oh, before bed. “I was reading. Klingon folk tales. It was earlier than usual, but I was tired and wanted to sleep early.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor noted something “Continue, what do you remember first after falling asleep?” he asked, night terrors were a way of the mind, screaming for help, that repressed memories were depleting it’s ability to function. It was something that needed to be worked out, or her adrenal system would deplete and that was never good.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She didn’t quite understand what he was asking. “Ummm… waking up because I was screaming. I was cold because I was sweating, and I felt sick to my stomach.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor gave a small nod, he altered his voice to be a little more monotone, “go back to just before you woke, what were you dreaming about?” he asked wanting to isolate the feelings within it if possible.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia did NOT want to talk about it. Not with him, not with anyone. Her posture became rigid and her arms tightened around herself, her pulse began to pound. “Before.” She swallowed hard to clear her suddenly dry throat. “Before I was in Star Fleet.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor watched as her anxiety went balistic. “Stop there, hold that feeling, name it and start your taping and slow breathing” he said calmly. “I don’t need the details just the feeling” he added realizing it was something bad and would likely not want to relive it.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Terror, dirty, sick.” She started breathing and tapping, but it was erratic rather than steady and rhythmic. She couldn’t hold it without thinking about it. She could feel herself teetering on the edge of a cliff. Dradvia didn’t want to relive this or the memories that caused the nightmare. She didn’t want Tessan to see this, but it wanted to claim her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor could feel the emotions bouncing all over the place, extreme fear, nausia, shame, she was spirling fast, he needed to pull her out. He reached out with his mind, peace washed over her. It trickled at first fighting against the deep trama, then quickly replaced it all. “Ensign” his voice a soft whisper. “You can stop” he said. “Lets take a break” he said standing to get her more water, and released her mind once it was clear she was out of it.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She didn’t like it. The way he used his mind to calm her. It wasn’t that she minded (he was trying to help and did), but it felt far too intimate. She didn’t feel threatened though.

She took the glass of water and sipped it. Tiny quick amounts, then a breath, and repeat.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

As if he had been reading her mind, though he had already released it. “Sorry, I thought it best to not let you go to deep, night terrors are a tricky thing” he noted. “Some of the events that are likely causing them” based on what he felt. “Are something I would prefer you shared with me when and if you are comfortable doing so.” he looked at her with a serious but gental look. He then turned to look out the portal. “Breath and relax and let me know when you are ready or if you want to just talk” he said

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“It’s okay. It’s Just uncomfortable because it’s unfamiliar,” she whispered. She continued sipping the water. She really wanted to just curl up in a tiny ball, but she resisted the need.

It was a long time before she started to relax, but she still wasn’t ready to resume or talk. She supposed…she sighed. “I guess I would rather talk.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Seeing that she was worn out, “Ok, is there anything you would like to talk about?” he asked, he felt her hesitation and fatigue and was woundering what she would chose or if she would try to get him to pick something.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She already had learned that she couldn’t get Tessan to pick a topic for her. So it was pointless to attempt to get him to. She was quiet for a long moment before coming back to something he had said in another session. “You told me the other day that I have to learn that expressing myself and my feelings is allowed. What if I don’t want to though. Everyone asks like I’m some kind of weird alien specimen because I don’t want to share everything about myself. Why can’t it be allowed to keep my feelings to myself?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor smiled a little, he was expecting her to ask him what he thought they should talk about, weather she knew it or not there was a little progress here. “Good question ensign, I think you said it thought. It’s allowed not required,” he said plainly. “Its a little required I guess in our meeting, if you want to address the things we have talked about addressing. ” he leaned back more comfortably now and took a drink of his tea.

“It doesn’t feel like that. I know, here, it’s required,” she nodded to indicate his office. “That’s how it feels everywhere though. Even if I say I don’t want to share, people still push.”

Tealor nodded, “Certainly people, in their concern, empthy, or whatever the motive, drives them to push harder than they should. ” he acknowladged, in fact he listend to most of the people extend beyond their place in a lot of situations on the ship. “How do you react when people push for a response?”

“I try telling them again. If that doesn’t work, usually I just leave.”

“And how does it feel if it comes up again?” he asked

Dradvia thought about that a moment. She knew how it felt, but naming it was different. “Invasive, disrespectful, lonely, dirty.”

Tealor expected the words that she mentioned all but the last one caught his attetnion and he had to think about why that would be. It could be that when people discrespected the boundry it made it feel like they thought something was wrong with her but he could not be sure. “The first three words I was expecting, the last, help me understand that a little more if you don’t mind” he asked.

Dradvia had to think how to word it. “That’s how it starts. Little boundaries pushed. Training you to be an object and not a person. Until you have nothing that belongs to you. Not your clothes, your food, your words, your actions. Your thoughts and feelings are taken from you until you are incapable of having a thought or emotion unless you are commanded to. When people push, when they can’t respect my ownership of my thoughts, my feelings, my body, they are taking away by force what I have worked so hard to get back. They turn me into a thing to be used.”

Tealors expression was netural, he sat for a very long few second as he processed what she had said. It was really not what he expected her to say. It was what she should say, it what she would feel when people confronted her beyond her bountries, there was no diception that he detected he was at a loss for words.

Finally he spoke. “Ensign, I think that is the healthiest thing I have heard you say since we started down this road.” he said to her a hint of something proud in his voice. “good for you” was all he could think to say which was likely not great but it’s what came out.

Dradvia shrugged. “I had to figure that out a long time ago. The other slaves… the ones they rescued with me… they didn’t trust the doctors. We couldn’t. I had been taking care of them for a long time. They all depended on me to make those decisions for them. I had to explain… well everything to the doctors. Why they were getting the reactions they were or weren’t. I had to speak up for them, so they could get better.”

Tealors fingers danced on the Padd with a little more speed, he was noting down more information than normal. “Sounds like something a leader would do. Why did you asume the roll, had it been estabilished prior to the resuce?” he asked

“I… had some natural talent with first aid. I was allowed to treat the injured and sick slaves because it saved … Lokhar money. I was,” she looked away drawing into herself, pulling her legs up, hugging her knees. “I was a… favorite,” she licked her lips from a suddenly dry mouth. “There were certain expectations of us towards the other slaves.”

Talor checked to make sure she still had some water but did not want to ask her to drink, having a paitent use their logic centers would disrupt the emotions, and he needed to understand how well she could handle and deal with them on her own when they came. “So, you naturally were seen that way by the other victims?” he asked

“Sort of.” Dradvia kept her eyes elsewhere, staring into a middle distance. “It’s a dangerous position to be in… being a favorite. But they trusted me to take care of them when they were hurt or sick.”

“You don’t have to share you feelings, you have to deal with them some how though pushing them away just locks them away to come up when you don’t want them too, like when your sleeping.” he stood to refill his tea checking her water, “There are other ways to deal with your feelings if you don’t want to share” he noted

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Really?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Sure, I listen to music, and meditate, some time I do scream theoropy” he noted. “We can find ways to deal with stress that, releases it instead of storeing it”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She wasn’t sure those were going to do anything to help deal with her trauma. Maybe if she was angry or something, but… she looked skeptical.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor noticed the doubt in her emotions. “I sense some doubt? what about” he asked, woundering what it could be. He searched her expression for tells.

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“I guess I just don’t see those as something you, well counselors, accepting as useful. Music and meditation is kind of like reading. It allows you to feel something else, regulate your emotions, step back from everything and … let your mind rest. I’ve mentioned before I read for those reasons, to relax and take my mind off things.” A single shoulder lifted self-consciously. “You’ve never commented about reading being a xoping technique.”

“Scream therapy just makes me feel exhausted thinking about it.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor let out a little laugh, “Screem therapy is a little exhausting, but it can focus unrealized feeling to the surface.” he noted. “That said it is not a requirement, just listing examples.” he noted. “As to the reading well there is nothing unhealthy about escaping from time to time, it’s when that’s all that we are doing that it causes us problems” he noted. “I think in your case if I was going to recomend something it would be journaling, if you can’t talk to someone other than me about emotional needs maybe release it to your self from your inner monilog to and external one.” he finished adding “Im not sugesting you stop reading though”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

She actually smiled. It was really a grin. It made her look much younger, a hint of who she should have been. “I wouldn’t stop. It’s my favorite hobby.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Good” he chuckled. “What are you reading now, if I might ask?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

“Klingon folktales. They’re very interesting. I wish I could read Klingon, but I have to settle on translations.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor smiled, “Why not learn? plenty of ways to do that aboard a starship.” he suggested

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia thought about it. “I might do that. I like culture, but was never drawn to languages.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Tealor looked at the time thier session was comming to a close, “Have you done much traveling since you came here, like vacations?”

Dr Tealor Tessan
Chief Medical Officer U.S.S Wolverine

Dradvia looked at him like he had lost his mind. “I had the typical breaks at the Academy, but I didn’t go anywhere. Where would I go that was safe? Who could I trust to keep me safe? Just me. The more I wander the easier it is to be found.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer