Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in So… This Is It

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It
Posted by… suppressed (46) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Sisnil followed her. Like always, he needed help getting into the tub. Then he spent a long while letting the water help relax his muscles.

~ Zoi

Dradvia helped him, but then sat in the other room, keeping Simon occupied. He was quite curios about the water and determined to be wherever Sisnil was.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed, “If he could use words, he’d be thinking “Why can’t I go see my friend?”

~ Zoi

Simon was sniffing the door, and when he heard Sisnil’s voice, he began to cry pitifully and glare at Dradvia. “He’s fine Simon. I promise. You won’t be happy if you fall in the water.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Simon meowed at her and flopped over on his side, reaching under the door with a paw. Then began to mew for Sisnil again.

~ Zoi

Dradvia was afraid Simon was going to get hurt. There should not be enough room for his paw to fit under. And now he sounded like he was hurt. She hurried over and scooped Simon up. We’ll, she tried, but Simon had curled his paw around the bottom of the door and wouldn’t let go and he was mewling louder. “Simon. Simon stop it. Simon really, let go.” She tried to coax the paw out. She was afraid to open the door and his leg really get caught in the mechanism. “Please? Let go. He’ll be done soon.” Dradvia had no idea what to do. Simon cried more. “I know you want him, but now we can’t go in because you are stuck.” Dradvia was a bit panicked.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Coax him with a treat or something,” Sisnil said from in the bathroom. “That will make him let go.”

~ Zoi

Well Dradvia didn’t have any treats. She didn’t want to leave him there while she went to the mess. A moment later her brain remembered the VIP quarters had a replicator. She hurried into the other room to get the chicken he liked.

Her absence just made Simon reach further under the door a cry for Sisnil. Or maybe he was yelling at Sisnil now.

The paw disappeared and a happy purring meow was repeated over and over while Dradvia coaxed him from the door.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed again from inside the bathroom. “That worked, huh?” He said through the door.

~ Zoi

Dradvia laughed softly, “Yes.”

“Oh! Ow!” Simon had decided she wasn’t giving the chicken up quick enough and jumped up and grabbed her hand. All claws and sharp baby teeth. “I’m going to toss you in the water for that.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. “Let him in, he can find out for himself how much he likes water.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia couldn’t accuse Simon of being a traitor. Who could resist Sisnil? Certainly not her. Though she would have to try. She couldn’t lead him on any more. She stood and walked over to the door. Simon darted between her feet, almost tripping her. She pressed the button, and Simon darted through, carrying his chicken in his mouth to show Sisnil. Dradvia moved back from the door and sat back down.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Simon climbed onto the edge of the tub and Sisnil laughed. It only took a minute before the kitten fell into the water, freaked out, leaped out, and shook water everywhere. But then he climbed back up, dipped a paw in, and just shook it a little.

~ Zoi

Dradvia heard the splash, the feline yowl and hiss, and the sound of water going everywhere. She came to the door and peaked in. “Are you both okay?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was standing in the tub… Wearing absolutely nothing. He looked up and nodded. “He’s fine. I think he’s decided it’s not that bad.” He said, watching Simon experimentally sip his paw in again.

~ Zoi

Dradvia was looking at Simon, but when her attention turned to Sisnil she bolted. Fear, embarrassment, and panic all flooded her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil glanced at himself and realized why. He sat down in the water. “Dee, it’s okay, I’m not upset,” he called after her.

~ Zoi

Oh, Dradvia knew he wasn’t upset or embarrassed. She was. “I know,” she called back, but her thready voice ended in a squeak. That didn’t happen, That didn’t happen, That didn’t happen, That didn’t happen.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil had to hold back a little chuckle. “What do you need me to do, Dee?”

~ Zoi

Hiding her flaming face in her hands, “Nothing,” she squeaked again. What he could do is keep his swim trunks on. Oh God’s she was going to have to go… no he got up just fine, he didn’t need her help.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I can stand up, I can’t get out without tripping, don’t you leave me here, Dee,” Sisnil responded to her thoughts. “Unless blind Sisnil with a concussion sounds good to you.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia groaned. He was teasing her, she knew that, but.... her heart picked up with panic. “If you can stand then you can sit on the edge and swing your feet out. Unless Blindfolded Dradvia and Blind Sisnil both with concussions and a squished Simon sound good to you.” It came out all in a rush and she wheezed at the end of it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. “I don’t know, Dee… I guess we’ll see.” He said with a grin.

~ Zoi

“No we won’t see. We’ll both be blind unless you put some clothes on.” She was not amused by his amusement.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil found his swim trunks and slipped them on. “Okay, you’re safe, Dee,” he said, but she could tell he was still grinning as he said it.

~ Zoi

Nope, he could sit there a few more minutes until she could calm the panic coursing through her. Until her heart didn’t feel like it would break through her ribs and her lungs didn’t burn from lack of oxygen.

She hugged herself, rocking silently back and forth. It didn’t happen it didn’t happen it didn’t happen.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was quiet for a minute. “…Dee? Are you okay?”

~ Zoi

No, no she was not… at the moment. “I will be. I just… need a minute.” He thought it was amusing, she wanted to sunk through the floor.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay. It’s really not a big deal, you know, Dee. Or at least… You know, I hope it wasn’t that scary.” She could tell from his tone the last part was meant to be a light-hearted joke.

~ Zoi

It was a big deal and scary for her. He had no idea. She was glad for that. She wouldn’t want her trauma inflicted on anyone. She swallowed hard and licked her dry lips. “Can we please not talk about this?” He only heard because he was telepathic.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay,” Sisnil said softly, projecting his voice telepathically so she’d hear the same way he had. “Tell me when you’re ready to help me.”

~ Zoi

His agreement released some of the tension, but his voice, projected to her, was soothing. She closed her eyes and just breathed, counting her breaths, slowly in and out, tapping her fingers against her arms. She really didn’t understand how that was supposed to stop the memories from hurting, but just focusing on the task let her put it all away in a box so she could breathe, until later.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil, feeling bad about this all happening (and a little for teasing her), tried to get out the way she said, by slipping a leg over and sliding out, but the edge was slick, a result of Simon’s splashing, and as he slid out he slid off the edge, sideways as one leg was still in the tub, then down the outside of the tub and thump onto the bathroom floor.

~ Zoi

“SISNIL!” Dradvia was there almost instantly. Apparently she could run when needed. “Why didn’t you wait? Gods you are so stubborn. You said you needed help, of course I would! You said to tell you when I was ready. It would be nice to know that meant, ‘I’m not waiting you come here now.’ I swear say what you mean.” She was berating him, and stern, and disapproving. Also she was drying him off, and running her hands over him to make sure he wasn’t hurt.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil couldn’t help but chuckle a little. She was adorable! “Sorry, sorry, it’s not funny, really. Promise.” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t hit my head, no blind concussed Sisnil for you.” He said. “Lucky, too that might set back surgery day, huh?” He was bruised at least, she could tell from the way he tensed when her hands touched his back, parts of his leg, his arm.

~ Zoi

“Yes, it would,” she snapped. Simon came over to inspect and she scooped him in the towel and fluffed him off. “Now go, he doesn’t deserve your pity Simon. Go. Eat the chicken. Go on.” Simon looked at her like she grew another head, and then ran out of the room. She turned to glare at Sisnil. “I’m going to lock you in a mobility chair.” She spread a towel on the floor and then helped him sit. “Alright up you get, onto the chair. Then I’m calling Kgnan to help you get dressed.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He grunted lightly as she helped him sit. “Come on, Dee, I’d slither out of that if I had to.” He gave her another look and then looked at the chair. “I don’t need help getting dressed, I’m fine.”

~ Zoi

She crossed her arms and gave him the most intimidating stare she was capable of. “Except your too stubborn for your own good. There was no reason for you to not wait for me. Just because I’m broken doesn’t mean you have to do…” she stopped. “I’ll be outside. Your clothes are folded beside you.” She left going out to the other room.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dee? Wait, what’s wrong?” Sisnil asked as she left. He was out several moments later, dressed. “Dee?” He said again.

~ Zoi

She was sitting at the small table feeding Simon the last of the chicken. The leash clipped to his harness. “He’s ready to go. I’ll go clean up.” Her voice was empty. Dradvia stood and went to move past him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, Dee, come here.” Sisnil reached with one arm and grabbed her hand. “Please. Tell me what’s wrong.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia stopped and looked down at their hands. His was strong, slightly callused from work, steady, sure. Hers - all she saw was small, weak, bruised, torn, and bloody.

What was wrong? She was broken, weak, fragile. He wouldn’t ask her for help because she freaked out and panicked. She couldn’t give him what he wanted. He wouldn’t even say what he wanted because she was a mess of shattered shards. He could have hit his head and delayed his surgery by weeks because she wasn’t enough.

There was no point in saying it; Sisnil would just deny it again. Make her believe it. She couldn’t deny it though. She couldn’t lie to him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil tugged her towards him. “It wasn’t because of you. I felt bad for messing with you, Dee. I didn’t mean to make it worse for you. You said I could do it if I just slid over the edge.” He shrugged. “I wanted to be able to handle myself.”

~ Zoi

She went towards him, silent and docile. “See, my fault. If I,” she swallowed hard, “hadn’t panicked, I wouldn’t have told you to do that. If I wasn’t broken, you wouldn’t feel bad about treating me like I was normal.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shook his head. “Not your fault. Okay? Don’t beat yourself up. I’m fine.”

~ Zoi

“Yeah.” This time. It was her fault, and nothing he said would convince her otherwise. It wouldn’t matter if she didn’t love him. She could stay slightly apart. Letting the other medical staff handle things she couldn’t. She could stay detached and approach it all as a doctor.

Dradvia tugged her hand free reluctantly. “Let me clean up.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil gave her a sad look. “Please, Dee. I’m sorry.” He said. “Don’t do this.”

~ Zoi

She gave him a confused look. “Why are you sorry?” What didn’t he want her to do? “It’s my job, I have to clean up.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“For making you feel like this,” Sisnil replied. “I’ll wait for you to clean up.”

~ Zoi

That broke through the numbness. “No.” Her voice was harsh and strong. She grabbed his arm, and looked him right in the eye. “No. You do not make me feel like this. I do. If anyone other than me is to blame it’s him,” she swallowed. It was important to her to use his name and not give him that power of reverence. “It was Lokhar who made me like this. Not you. I am the only one responsible for how I react to how I feel.”

Her emotions folded in on themselves. “I wish I could tell you it won’t happen again, but I can’t. I’m not healed enough for that, and I doubt I ever will be.” There was so much in her eyes, that he could feel through his empathy, as she found the courage to keep looking him in the eye. He couldn’t see that, but he could feel it. “You won’t listen to me, but one day you’ll get tired of waiting. I’ll never hate you for that.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shook his head, his gaze searching as if looking for hers but unsure where to look. “I’ll never stop waiting for you, Dee. Never.”

~ Zoi

Perhaps he was unsure, but he was uncannily accurate when his eyes settled right on hers. Why was she fighting him so hard on this? It wasn’t like she had any kind of valid experience to think he would give up eventually. None of her books gave evidence to that, but they were just fiction, right? She didn’t understand why he would want to wait either. Trying to figure it out, only made her confused and anxious. Believing him made her feel safe and cherished and hopeful, but it also allowed fear to sneak in when she wasn’t looking. It was a constant companion that fed on her weakness, but kept her alive and hidden.

“Okay, Sisnil.” It wasn’t her place to tell him what he thought or should feel. She didn’t want to do that, which brought her right back to why was she fighting him so hard about it. “I just,” he could feel the awkwardness of her shrug, “want you to be happy,” and she didn’t think she could do that, not really.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I am,” Sisnil said. “With you. I wouldn’t be without you.” He hugged her. “Okay?”

~ Zoi

“Okay.” She closed her eyes, hiding within the hug. Hiding from herself. Dradvia stayed there until he let go. It was a small thing she could manage to give him - to not pull away.

When he did she went into the other room and cleaned up and then set the sanitation cycle to begin after they left. She came back out and scooped Simon up off the floor and handed him to Sisnil. That’s who the kitten wanted anyway. Then they left.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer