Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in So… This Is It

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It
Posted by… suppressed (58) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
The tests showed he needed a few more days to heal, and those days went much the same. PT, research, Sisnil resting but getting ever more restless.

Then the day came his tests were normal enough to do the procedure.

~ Zoi

They were in Sickbay, that afternoon, after a hard session with PT when Dradvia gave him the news. She scheduled the proceedure for the next morning. She knew Sisnil wanted it right away, but she wanted to get a good night’s sleep and be rested before she attempted it.

She even took a sleep aid that night. She hated drugs and it made her physically ill taking it, and she would pay later for the mental and physical consequences of it. They were a price she was willing to pay for Sisnil.

The next morning, right at the beginning of her shift, Dradvia was scrubbing and Kgnan helped Sisnil get settled on the biobed with the surgical frame.

Dradvia walked over in her red scrubs, “Alright, I’m going to put you under. Remember. When you wake up your telepathy will be very diminished because we took the Psilosynine. It will replenish, and it will take about 3 days before we know what kind of results you will have.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. He reached for Dee’s hand. “I trust you,” he said. Then he settled in. “I’m ready, Dee.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia squeezed his hand and then picked up a hypo and pressed it to his neck. Seconds later, Sisnil was asleep.

The proceedure was straight forward, but far from easy. First Dradvia had to inject the Nanosurgeons. Small nanites that would be able to do the work directly yo the cells. She guided them into his Paracortex to extract the Psilosynine from the paracortical gland. She didn’t know how much was needed for the damage to his occipital lobe. She wanted enough, but was afraid that taking all of it would damage his paracortex and telepathy. None of the research indicated that.

When she saw his gland was already beginning to produce more Psilosynine she breathed a bit easier and extracted another CC. The benefit of Nanosurgeons was that the likelihood of a brain bleed was almost 0 because there were no cuts, incisions, or probing done. They were as small as cells and could go anywhere.

Guiding them from the controls on the surgical frame, Dradvia sent them into the occipital lobe. She engaged batches of them to each area of damage, injecting the Psilosynine into the damaged brain and nerve tissue. It was a slow process as she looked for each and every microscope sign of damage.

When she was done, she recalled the nanites, counting them one by one, having Kgnan count them, and the computer. All of them were accounted for, deactivated, and returned to their locked storage.

Dradvia stood over the viewer, checking and rechecking both areas of his brain to be sure there were no complications from the proceedure. Eventually, all she could do was let Sisnil wake up and wait and see.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

As Sisnil woke some hours later, he felt oddly cold and disconnected from the world. Like none of it was real. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see blurs of shapeless light. Then he remembered about his eyes, his brain, the procedure.

But for the first time, he felt truly blind.

There was a sense of blankness, emptiness. He couldn’t sense anything, from anywhere. He could hear, the soft beeps and boops of the medical equipment, the sound of fabric, like somebody moving around. Was someone there? He couldn’t feel them at all. Like an inanimate object, like an android or robot or something.

And he couldn’t tell who it was. His body tensed, his heart rate increased. His breath rate increased. He wasn’t quite fully aware, it was harder to orient himself without his vision. And the drugs had him groggy and sleepy.

~ Zoi

The increase in his heart rate and respiration made the monitors beep faster. That brought Dradvia’s attention. She stood and leaned over him. “Sisnil? It’s Dee. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

His eyes were open. He tried to focus on the dark shape over him. “Dee? You’re there?” He asked. There was a tone to his voice she’d never heard before, like he was on edge or nervous.

~ Zoi

“It’s me. I’m going to take your hand alright?” She reached down and wrapped her hand around his. It broke her heart to hear him so upset. “Here are your glasses. I’ll slip them on.” Very carefully, using one hand she slipped his glasses into place. “Hi, Cap’n.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“It’s like you’re a hologram or recording.” Sisnil said, that same tone to his voice. “Like you’re not really there.” He squeezed her hand. As she slipped his glasses back on and he could see better, he smiled a little. “Hey, Dee.”

~ Zoi

She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Hey.” She leaned down and kissed his cheek shyly. “Remember it will be disorienting until your Psilosynine levels come back up. Are you feeling up to an update?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Disorienting doesn’t even cut it,” he murmured, shaking his head. At her question though, he nodded vigorously. “Tell me everything.”

~ Zoi

“It went well. I had to take most of your Psilosynine, but your Psilosynine levels are already regenerating at a normal rate. It will be a few more hours though before you start to sense anything. Your occipital lobe and optic nerve have absorbed the Psilosynine. The less damaged cells are already showing healing.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “So it went well.” He said and squeezed her hand again. “Told you you could do it.”

~ Zoi

“Oh dear. Are you one of those? That always has to say ‘I told you so’?” She laughed softly. “Yes, you did. It took longer than I expected which is why you are so groggy. I had to give you extra sedative.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Hmm. Yeah, I am.” Sisnil said. “When can I leave sickbay? I…” He tried to speak to her telepathically, realized he still couldn’t, and instead tugged on her hand to pull her closer.

~ Zoi

“Hang on.” Dradvia pressed a button and he could hear the static of a force field. “Privacy field. What is it?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I can’t sense anything at all, Dee. And without my sight I can’t really tell who or where anyone is. It’s..... Freaky.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia had no idea how he felt; though, she tried. “Let’s get you up and eat something. You had extra sedative, so I want to make sure you are fully awake and steady. I don’t want you to fall on the way back.” She raised the bed and took down the field. “Alright?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay. …Dee? Don’t let go of my hand.” Sisnil said as he slowly got off the bed. He quickly felt dizzy and sat back on the bed to avoid falling.

~ Zoi

“I won’t.” She couldn’t imagine how alone he felt right now. “Sit back. Here,” Kgnan handed her a glass of water that she pressed into his hand. “Drink. Kgnan is going to the mess to get you something to eat.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil drank some of the water, sitting back against the bed. He squeezed her hand gently, as if to check she was still there. “Okay. Just stay here,” he said again.

~ Zoi

“I am,” she squeezed his hand reassuringly. She watched him for a moment. “Would it be easier if I gave you something to make you sleep. Just until your levels come back up?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Let’s just wait till we get to my room and see,” Sisnil said. He blinked a little bit, “I have an awful headache.”

~ Zoi

“Lay back,” Dradvia took her tricorder and ran it over him. “Well I was messing in your brain a lot. Here,” she loaded a dose of acetaminophen into her hypo and gave him a dose. “Let’s see if that helps. I need you to recline back and let your blood pressure level out for a few minutes, alright?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil lay back for her. That was all it was, a reaction to the surgery. He closed his eyes and waited. “I’m starting to feel more awake.” He said. “That’ll help, right?”

~ Zoi

“It will.” Kgnan arrived with the food. Dradvia squeezed his hand, “I’m right here,” and let her hand slip away so she could take the tray. Kgnan was really wonderful, he remembered what Sisnil usually asked for and brought it. The man was totally attentive to his patients. Dradvia grabbed the glass of juice and set it in Sisnil’s hands. “Drink this first. This and food will help too.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil made sure to thank him. He was an outlaw, not a jerk, after all. He started drinking the juice, holding the cup in one hand, and reaching for Dee with the other.

~ Zoi

Kgnan liked Sisnil. He took no crap, and he was kind to Dradvia. Kgnan was older and had no romantic interest in Dradvia at all. His point of view was purely from a man who had a younger sister.

Dradvia squeezed his hand and then set hers against his side, “So you can have both hands to eat.” She pulled the rolling table over so he could reach the tray. “There.” Kgnan had added something for her too. She picked it up and nibbled the sandwich. Not super hungry, but she was glad Kgnan had thought of it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, Dee, don’t let go,” Sisnil said abruptly, with more fear than he’d have liked. “Please.” He glanced at Kgnan, then looked back to Dee. “I can’t feel you.”

~ Zoi

“Okay,” she took his hand again, and after a moment she laced her fingers through his with a soft flush. She ate quietly, just being there with him. She would talk, but she wasn’t sure what to talk about.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It was deafeningly silent to Sisnil. The sounds of others’ hushed thoughts was missing from his perspective of the world, and it was unsettling. He squeezed her hand gently while he ate with the other. “You know, there are Betazoids that lose their abilities… I don’t know how they live like that. I think I’d rather be dead.”

~ Zoi

“This procedure was developed to help Betazoids that lost their telepathy. To try and restore some of that ability,” Dradvia said. “I read there are Betazoids that are considered super sensitive. They hear and feel everything all the time from birth. They can’t ever tune it out or ignore it. I read it is louder than normal conversation.” She also read they usually died in childhood.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “I knew a kid like that once. He, uh....” Sisnil mimed offing oneself. He finished his food and the juice. “How much longer do you think till mine comes back?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked devastated at that. There should be a way to help kids like that. “Well based on the rate you were producing before the procedure 2 days maybe a bit longer. I’m guessing, but I would imagine you will start sensing something, even weakly, in about 3 hours.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I hope so.” Sisnil said softly. “The world feels empty, emotionless… fake.”

~ Zoi

“How can I help?” Dradvia had no idea what he was experiencing, but she could imagine it was terrifying.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“It’s so quiet,” he said softly. “So lonely....” He gripped Dradvia’s hand. “I hate it when they do this to me,” he whispered.

~ Zoi

A privacy field shimmered into existence and Dradvia sat on the edge of his bed, staring into his eyes. “What did they do Sisnil?” She swallowed because she could imagine easily who ‘they’ were and what they did. It was the first time he had ever said anything directly. She wasn’t curious, but she wanted to help.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He must have been out of it because of the brain surgery or the anesthesia or both, because no, he was generally extremely tight lipped. His black eyes searched hers, unable to focus clearly on her face. “It was a punishment, to drug me to take my telepathy away. Noril too. We’re twins, Dee, telepathic twins. We’ve been empathically linked since birth. We feel loneliness so much more intensely.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia placed her other hand along his cheek. She hated that had happened to him. It was cruel, but that was the Syndicate. “I wish you had told me. I wouldn’t have taken so much. What can I do to reassure now?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I wanted my sight back,” he said, almost choking up. “Don’t leave, okay? Don’t let go.”

~ Zoi

If he had told her, they could have done several procedures instead of one. “Alright, I won’t. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled a little. “We may have a little difficulty leaving. Can’t hold my hand and the support frame at the same time. We’ll figure it out though.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You’re better than the support frame anyway,” Sisnil said with a shrug. The truth was, he didn’t tell her because he “knew better” than to talk about things the Syndicate did. He kept his mouth shut because that was just what you did in the Syndicate. “When can we go?”

~ Zoi

“As soon as you’re done eating.” She wanted to ask Kgnan for help. She wasn’t feeling well, but she didn’t want to make Sisnil uncomfortable. She just really wanted to lie down. Hopefully Sisnil would sleep so she could.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil hurried up and finished eating. He couldn’t hear her thoughts or emotions, so he didn’t know how uncomfortable and unwell she was.

~ Zoi

When he was done, Kgnan took the tray and table and brought the support frame over. “Alright, let’s try getting up again. Slowly, please. Give yourself time to adjust. As long as your blood pressure doesn’t bottom out, we’ll get you back to your quarters.” Dradvia knew Sisnil was unaware because he hadn’t said anything. She wasn’t going to tell him either and make him more on edge than he was.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He stood slowly, and his blood pressure dropped, but stabilized itself. He was okay. He started heading out of Sickbay one slow step at a time.

~ Zoi

It was a slow walk back. Dradvia didn’t mind. Her stomach was rolling more as the anti-nausea meds she gave herself started to wear off. “You’re steadier today. You won’t have PT today because of the procedure, but tomorrow if you are still fine.”

“Okay. Here’s the lift. Just a bit further.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I want it at as soon as possible,” he said as they walked. They got into the lift and he leaned on her, closing his eyes. “You okay, Dee? I… I can’t tell.”

~ Zoi

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes as the lift moved. “Yeah, of course. I just feel less than dirt for putting you through this. I would have done it differently if I had known. I am so sorry.” She rested her head on top of his.

Sisnil shook his head against her. “This was my choice. These are my consequences.” He said. “I don’t want you to feel guilty for doing what I asked.”

She nodded against him. It wasn’t that easy. She knew how those memories ate away and consumed. How it felt to relive the position the Syndicate had put you in. She hated this had done that to him.

The lift stopped mercifully before her stomach rebelled. She had chosen to take the furthest lift from Sickbay so they would come out near his quarters. “Let’s go. Just a couple sections more, and then you can see Simon.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil walked with her, not letting her go. Soon they were at his quarters and stepping inside. Simon greeted them at the door with a loud, needy meow!

~ Zoi

“Come on Simon, move baby.” Dradvia nudged him gently with her foot so he wouldn’t get stepped on. “Come on, sit down,” she helped Sisnil over to the bed. “How’s your head?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He dashed into the room playfully, which, thankfully, was out of the way. Sisnil sat on the bed. “Just a mild headache. It’s better than it was before you gave meds for it.” He said with a shrug. He still gripped her hand tightly. It was odd - he wasn’t willing to admit he had such trauma, but he couldn’t let her go, either. And he missed Noril a lot just then.

~ Zoi

Dradvia had wanted to get him to go to sleep, so she could lay down. He looked so lost though, that she couldn’t be that selfish. She wrapped her free arm around him, and then gently pulled her other hand free so she could fully hug him with both arms. She turned her head toward Simon and called him. “Simon, come here.” He jumped up into Sisnil’s lap. She laid her head on the curve of Sisnil’s shoulder and held him tightly.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil wrapped one arm around her and pet Simon with the other. He sighed against her. He was reaching out desperately for her, still unable to feel her there. But he was getting tired and she could tell. The procedure was hard on the body, it had made him more tired than he expected.

~ Zoi

“Come on Sisnil, lay down.” Dradvia tried to coax him. “Your body needs sleep. I’ll be here. I’ll play with Simon and feed him after you fall asleep. I won’t go anywhere while you’re asleep. Promise.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“What if something happens and I don’t wake up?” He asked, looking at her. “Because I can’t sense it.”

~ Zoi

“I’ll be awake. I’ll wake you if anything happens. Besides, that’s what red alert is for. You’ll hear it, even if you can’t sense it. It’s just a few hours, while your body rests. I promise I won’t fall asleep.” She hugged him a little tighter. “I’ll keep watch, I promise.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, Dee, you need to sleep,” Sisnil said. “How can you help me if you’re always too tired?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled, “I slept last night. 8 whole hours and no nightmares. I’ve only been up about 10, so I’ll be fine for awhile. I promise to wake you up if I get tired. Besides I have the next couple of days off.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil squeezed her hand. “Okay,” he said, unable to tell her emotion for himself. He cuddled in against her. “It’ll be okay, Dee. This won’t last that long, right?”

~ Zoi

She had slept, but she was suffering the consequences now. She would be awake no matter how much she wanted to sleep. “Right. Actually,” she looked around. “Let me take a scan and you can see. My kit is on the desk, just let me get it. I have to let go of your hand for just a second.” She let their arms fully extend as she got up. For a brief moment her hand left his as she grabbed her kit and hurried back.

Sisnil let out the smallest, saddest little whine when her hand left his. But just a second later her hand was back in his.

She took his hand again and gave it a squeeze. “Alright let’s take a scan.” She wrangled the kit open one-handed, flipped open her tricorder and removed the hand scanner. She moved it over his head to get a reading. Then she turned the tricordee towards him. “See. Here is your reading from right after the surgery, and here is the one I just took. Your psilosynine levels have already increased 10%.”

“Go ahead and sleep now. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and leaned on her as he looked at them. He frowned in frustration. “I can’t see the numbers.” Then he smiled at her, “but I believe you.”

~ Zoi

“That will change soon, too.” She put the Tricorder back and set the kit on the floor. “Okay, sleep time. Come on.” She pushed gently against his shoulders to get him to lay back.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He leaned back when she pushed but he wouldn’t let go of her hand. He settled into bed.

Soon he was asleep, but it was, she’d notice, oddly unsettled sleep for him. It didn’t seem restful but tormented and dark.

~ Zoi

She told him children’s fairytales because she didn’t know what else to talk about. She wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. She thought about waking him once, but he needed the sleep. Dradvia held on to his hand as long as she could. When his hand relaxed around hers, she fed Simon and then sat on the floor beside the bed with a toy to play with the kitten and hold his hand at the same time.

Dradvia was sick. She knew it was going to happen when she took the sedative the night before. She was hyper awake, her stomach churning, she had broken out in a cold sweat, she was shivering violently. She knew it was DTs and would pass eventually. Yes, one dose did this to her. After being kept constantly drugged by Lokhar, once she was clean, Dradvia’s body had no tolerance for drugs. That was fine by her, she hated taking them, she hated how Lokhar had forced them on her, she hated how they made her feel. She had needed to be rested for Sisnil’s procedure, so this was worth it. She was just glad he was asleep and didn’t see.

When Simon finally tired, she coaxed him up to sleep next to Sisnil. She was freezing. She spotted Sisnil’s jacket and dragged it over and wrapped it around herself. She rested her head on the side of the bed, panting through the nausea and pain.

She knew his telepathy was returning when his sleep started to become more restful, and the constant scans she was taking. Some hours later, after he had fallen asleep, the nausea finally got the best of Dradvia. She crawled across the floor before her stomach fully rebelled. There was a towel on the floor, and she vomited violently onto it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The sounds woke him abruptly and quickly as his body would allow he was next to her holding her hair. “Dee, you’re sick? Why didn’t you say something?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia was too hyper awake to be surprised by the sudden touch. She wanted to crawl away and cry. She knew it would pass, but she felt terrible. She heaved several more times before lowering to her side, shivering uncontrollably. “Cccan’t dddo anyyyythththing. Letting passss.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil pulled her towards him as she lay down. “It’s okay, come here.” He said gently. He rubbed her back. “Did you give yourself something?” His mind was still a little foggy, but he had experience with people and drugs. This looked an awful lot like an adverse effect to something. Probably a.... Oh. A sedative. “Dee, did you try to put yourself to sleep?”

~ Zoi

Her whole body was shivering against him, and covered in a cold clamy sweat. “Llllast nnnighttt. Haddd ttto.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer