Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in So… This Is It

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in So… This Is It
Posted by… suppressed (64) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
A sharp ache filled her chest. “We all have regrets.” She looked up and stood as Cmdr Morris came in.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

After his conversation, Dee used a forcefield to keep him still and put him to sleep with the sedative.

He was asleep for eight or so hours, the entire lifetime of the sedative. When it started to wear off, he started to wake. He tried to move, but the forcefield was still active and limited what he could do. “Dee? Dee?!”

~ Zoi

“Don’t move. I’m here. It’s just the forcefield.” Dradvia set her hand over his and stood from where she was sitting beside him. “I finally got your pain levels under control.” The forcefield had ended up being necessary. The pain and other effects of the poison had caused him to twitch and writhe quite a bit in his sleep.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I… Yeah, I guess you did.” He wrapped his fingers around her hand. “Can you let me go?” He asked. He felt really vulnerable and helpless and he didn’t like it.

~ Zoi

“As long as you promise to keep still as much as possible,” Dradvia didn’t want the pain to flare too much. “If you let the bed do all the work, I can sit you up a bit and you can have something to drink.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I feel like an invalid,” he complained. “Fine. I’ll let the bed do it. Okay? Just let me go.”

~ Zoi

“You are an invalid,” she said without hesitation. She slowly lifted the bed to about 30 degrees leaving the forcefield on so he stayed in place. Then she lowered the forcefield. She didn’t miss the clipped irritated tone. That was okay, she didn’t expect him to be happy about it or with her. “Water or juice?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

That wasn’t it, he was stressed. Even scared. He tried to hide a face of pain as the bed moved. “I’m feeling better, Dee. Whatever you did is working.” He thought about the options, “Juice. I haven’t eaten, the calories are probably good.”

~ Zoi

She went to the replicator and requested the juice and brought it back. She held it for him so he didn’t have to move his arms. “You can eat whatever you want, but I strongly suggest soft food and easy to digest so your body doesn’t work so hard.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I can eat but you won’t let me move my arms.” Sisnil said, taking a sip of the juice as she held it. “How am I supposed to eat?’

~ Zoi

“I’ll feed you.” She held up a hand before he could object, “Yes I know you can do it yourself, you aren’t a child, you aren’t paralyzed. You are an invalid for the time being. Any large movements, including bending and raising your arm repeatedly, will make the pain return.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Alright, fine.” He only relented because he could sense her worry, that he’d end up being paralyzed or something else terrible from either the antidote or the poison itself. He sipped the juice. “Is the antidote working?”

~ Zoi

“I gave you the second dose while you were asleep. It’s too soon to tell. There are no initial signs of complications. The oozing around the wound stopped though, so that’s a good sign.” Dradvia wasn’t sure when they would start to see a significant difference.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He nodded and slowly moved and arm to check the wound. It was bandaged, of course, but he put gentle pressure around it. It hurt a lot. “It’s not weeping, but it hurts.” He told her. Then he sipped a little more of the juice. “I feel completely defenseless. I hate this.”

~ Zoi

“I know you do. I’ll be here to whole time, or Cmdr Morris will be while I check on Simon. This isn’t a quick cure. I’m sorry.” She took a scan, “You can have more pain meds. Let me get it.” She got up and walked over to a table and filled a hypo and came back. She pressed it to his neck and there was a soft pop hiss of the medication being administered.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Simon can’t be here?” Sisnil asked. He wasn’t very comforted by that. When he was sick, Dee was fine as an alert system, and then he could defend himself. But Dee wasn’t a fighter. She couldn’t defend him if someone came for him, and his paranoia was at an all time high. He’d try to get away, but he heard her. Antidote five times a day or agonizing death.

~ Zoi

“I’ll bring him when you’re feeling a little better. He could claw you or step on you wrong. He wouldn’t mean to, but it could make things worse. I’ll make sure he’s okay.” Dradvia wasn’t a fighter, but she had a quick mind. And one of the things they were extensively trained on was how to protect their patients in case of an intruder, another hostile/delirious patient, or boarding.

Dradvia’s face went pale just then, and there was a spike of panic that spread through her. The ship had started moving, they were leaving the space station and going to warp.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil moved to grab her hand. The sudden, jolting movement hurt. And the forcefield prevented him from reaching her. The ship started to move and there was a low vibration and sense of movement that he normally didn’t notice, that right now set his nerves on fire. He was trying to hide it, but his face and muscles were tight. “Dee, it’s okay. We’re just going to warp.”

~ Zoi

Despite her own panicked reaction, she moved to settle his arm back and hold his hand gently. “I know,” her smile was resigned. The movement brought back too much trauma. Seeing Sisnil subjected to that poison made things much more vivid, too close to the surface.

Sisnil seemed to relax as he gripped her hand. “It’s okay, Dee. I’m okay.” He said, doing his best to smile.

She gave him a look. No he wasn’t. If he was, he wouldn’t be in Sickbay. At least he was more coherent now.

She could see the lines of strain on his face. She couldn’t stop the vibrations, but at least they were away from the station and the person who did this to Sisnil. What could she do to help? Oh! She stood up and moved over to the mechanical controls for the bed. The biobeds had stabilizers incase of debris or attack or who knew what. She adjusted the sensitivity all the way up. Hopefully it would compensate for the warpcore vibrations.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It didn’t completely block them, but almost. She could see him relax again. Sisnil squeezed her hand when she stood, not wanting her to let go. It was the first time in a while he felt Noril’s absence so sharply. He missed his brother so much. “Just… Don’t go anywhere, Dee. Please.”

~ Zoi

She came back and sat down. “I’m not. Cmdr Morris has ordered me to stay with you. All my other duties have been reassigned. Except, I have to go check on Simon. You remember that?” He was so incoherent when they talked about it earlier. She should have gone while he was sleeping, but she couldn’t leave him like that. She could ask Morris to check on him, but she didn’t think Sisnil would want Morris poking around his things. The letter! It was on the floor where she dropped it. Morris couldn’t see that.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil furrowed his brow. “I remember Morris asking what was on my PaDD.” He said. He still wasn’t 100% himself but he did seem more coherent than earlier. Oh. The letter. “Don’t let Morris into my quarters whatever you do.” He whispered.

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded, “He needed to know so he could protect the crew. You told him not to worry, you would get up and go find it.”

Sisnil smiled slightly, but he groaned. “I was acting tough.” He told her, speaking softly. “I can’t hardly move without agonizing pain and my wound would probably have words if I so much as sat up.”

The corner of her mouth twitched up, “I know. You don’t need to act tough. Surviving this is proof enough.”

Sisnil shook his head. “I’m defenseless, Dee. I can’t… I mean… You understand, don’t you?”

She nodded, squeezing his hand this time. She did. She understood exactly how he felt. “I do. I know I’m not much of a bodyguard, but I will do anything to keep you safe so you can heal.”

She had everything under control enough squeezing it didn’t hurt too much. Sisnil smiled. “I know you would, Dee. I guess I’m just a little more… on edge than usual.”

“That’s understandable. You have every right to be. We are away from the station now, so that’s good.”

Dradvia patted his hand gently rather than squeezing. “I won’t. Hopefully Simon will be more comfortable with me than a stranger.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled again. “I don’t think Simon really cares either way. He will like seeing you though.”

~ Zoi

“He only likes it because I hold him. He’s still a baby and likes being treated that way.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed, but the motion hurt. “Ah… He curls up in between my legs at night. Or on my chest.”

~ Zoi

“Don’t laugh,” Dradvia grinned though hearing the sound. “You are his person. He needs to be close to you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “I didn’t think the bond with an animal would be so strong.”

~ Zoi

“In what way?” Dradvia asked. An alarm on her PaDD went off. She silenced it, and turned her attention back to Sisnil.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil thought for a few moments. “He’s like… family I guess. Like a kid. I can sense him like I can you. His emotions, what he wants. He doesn’t have thoughts like a person, but… It’s hard to explain.”

~ Zoi

“That’s okay. I think I understand.” She thought Simon was adorable and was totally in love with him.

Her PaDD beeped an alarm. She reached for a small spray, “It’s numbing gel so I can draw a blood sample. I have to know how much poison is still in your system before I give you the next dose.”

He nodded. “Tell me what the results are.”

She sprayed a small spot on his neck and then took the sample. She set it in the scanner and sat back down.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The results showed the level hadn’t changed much. There was still more than a lethal dose in his system. It explained why he hadn’t seemed to get any better. Sisnil was watching her closely, and listening to her mind, no doubt.

~ Zoi

A heavy sigh slipped through Dradvia’s mind. It wasn’t much better after two doses. It wasn’t worse though, so that was good at least. Dradvia loaded the correct dosage into the hypo and came back. “It’s gone down some, but it’s still a lethal dose.” She pressed the hypo to his neck and pressed the button. “How are you feeling? Pain, hot, cold?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“A little pain, all over, but it’s better than it was… I think whatever you’re doing is working.” Sisnil said. “I’m cold, like, if I were standing inside a refrigerator.”

~ Zoi

“Okay.” Dradvia pulled a light blanket up over him and then checked his scans. “Okay, another dose of Bromocriptine. That seems to be working to help your body regulated your temperature.” She loaded the hypo and gave him that too. His K12 indicator showed his pain, but it was so much better than what it had been when she gave him the sedative.

She made notes on her PaDD for the blood results and scans and dosages of medication. “I can’t give you more pain medication yet, but I can give you the sedative.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shook his head. “I don’t want to sleep. I’ll sleep in my quarters.” He eyes the juice glass she’d set down earlier. “Can I have more of that?”

~ Zoi

She picked up the juice and held it for him. “You can’t stay awake for four days or more, Sisnil. If you do, you are letting that monster win. The poison is supposed to keep you awake, in pain, and cause psychotic breaks from lack of sleep. It will let the poison move faster and make your body weaker to fighting it.” He didn’t have to sleep right now, but he would have to eventually. She was suddenly very frustrated with fighting with him over it. “If you want this stuff to kill you, then I can just stop giving you the antidote.” She wasn’t going to make him take it. She knew he was scared; she understood. Maybe though… if he was fighting over every little thing, even with her, she had misunderstood that call in her head. She thought he wanted help. Maybe that had just been her own wishful thinking and desires.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, I- Dee, you wouldn’t let me die.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.” Then he looked up at her in surprise. “You… think I didn’t want help?”

~ Zoi

She shrugged awkwardly. “Maybe you didn’t want the help that I gave you. Maybe,” she sighed picking at the cuff of her sleeve, “you wanted the kind of help Kryssa did.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“What? No. No, Dee. Even if I did, I wouldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t.” He looked at her. “Believe me. I don’t wanna die, Dee. What would Noril do? What would it do to you?” He was all worked up. “I wouldn’t have reached out for you if I’d wanted that. I wouldn’t put you through that, ever. It took everything I had to reach out to you. It hurt.”

~ Zoi

“I know it hurts,” she shrugged again but not at his pain. “I’m the only person you know, you have no one else to ask.” Dradvia set a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, you’ll make yourself hurt.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I was bleeding out. I didn’t need help if I wanted that.” Sisnil set his hand on hers. “How can I calm down when you think I want you to do what Kryssa did?”

~ Zoi

She twisted her other fingers in her lab coat. She couldn’t cry, she couldn’t. Not here with everyone watching. So her voice was low and very strained. “What am I supposed to think? You fight me about everything. I know you’re scared; I know you don’t want to be vulnerable, but I thought you trusted knew me enough to know I wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you in any way.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I do trust you, Dee.” Sisnil knew what she meant. Her mind told him. He wanted to deny being scared, but… Well, that would be one more thing to fight her on. “I’m just… What you said. Okay?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded, “Okay,” but she wasn’t convinced. He was in pain and suffering and feeling trapped. She told herself not too take anything he said or did to heart. “Do you want a smoothie or a milkshake?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Uhm. A smoothie. With hajaya berries which are betazoid sweet berries. They’re bright green.” Sisnil said. He tried to reach for her hand. “I promise Dee. I want to live. I just really don’t like being trapped.”

~ Zoi

“I’ll find it. I’m sure it’s in the system. Most Betazoid dishes are.” She stopped watching him move his hand and turned back and set her hand over his. “I know. I get it. I’m not trying to trap you. I just want you to survive this.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. Her touch relaxed him a little. “I will. I’ll be okay.” Then he tensed. “Pain’s getting worse.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia glanced at the readings. She was going to have to be more careful, she upset him because she was upset. “I know you don’t like it, but let’s try the forcefield again. Just over your abdomen and legs. The deep pressure helped while you were asleep.” She wished she could replicate a weighted blanket.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

His heart rate was a little high, he was still cold, and his k12 read reflected the increased pain. He hesitated and then, “Okay. We can try it.” He smiled, “I’m fine, Dee. Don’t feel bad for having emotions.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia’s fingers tapped over the controls. She configured the forcefield over his abdomen and his upper legs, providing the deep pressure. She kept it off his lower legs and his chest and arms. So he had more movement than before. “They are upsetting you. That’s bad for you right now. A telepathic inhibitor would be dangerous. I don’t know how it would react with the poison.” She shrugged, “I’ll try harder. I’ll get the hajaya berry smoothie.” She moved across sickbay to the replicator and searched the database. She found it and soon was back with the cold fruity concoction.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I wouldn’t use one anyway. The way I am right now, telepathy is my only defense.” Sisnil said. He started to reach for the cup, winced, and set across his belly below the wound instead. “I hate making you hold it.”

~ Zoi

“I don’t mind,” she held it for him while he drank. When he was done she got a second bedside tray and adjusted it so he only had to move his head a little to reach the straw. “Better?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. Until he turned his head, bumped the straw with his lip, and knocked it over. Then jolted his arms up as if to catch it even though it had already fallen.

~ Zoi

Dradvia grabbed his hands and gently set them back down. She knew it had to hurt. A nurse came over and quickly helped her clean up and then brought over another smoothie. “I don’t mind holding it until the pain gets better.” She checked the time. She wished she could give him more pain medication now, but she couldn’t.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It did. A lot. He didn’t want to show it though, she was worrying enough. “I’ll be okay.” He said and forced a smile. “You can hold it.”

~ Zoi

That wasn’t a given. Even with the antidote there could be long term damage. He would live though. He had to. Dradvia wouldn’t consider a different outcome. She held the cup for him. It made her feel like she was doing something useful while she waited for his next round of medications. After he’d had all he wanted or could manage, Dradvia asked him, “Do you want to lay down? I’ll increase the size of the forcefield so you won’t slip. Then I can take it off again.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil drank as much as he could manage. It was sweet and very good. “Okay.” He patted Dradvia’s hand gently. “I’ll be okay, Dee. Have some hope.”

~ Zoi

As she set the forcefield she smiled just a little. “That’s my line.” She lowered the bed and readjusted the forcefield again. She dimmed the light over the bed and pulled the blanket up.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Trying to make me sleep?” He asked as she dimmed the lights and pulled the blanket up. It did make him feel tired, his body needed rest.

~ Zoi

“No, I would give you the sedative for that,” Dradvia answered. “I’m just trying to make you as comfortable as I can.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “I’m comfortable.” He said. “…Dee, I didn’t even think you’d hear me. It was a longshot. I thought I was dying there.”

~ Zoi

Her eyes closed in an attempt to fortify herself against the memory. Dradvia had felt it. The panic, the pain, the slipping away of … of life. It was terrifying. “I’m glad I did. I couldn’t stand it if…”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil opened his hand, an invitation for her to hold it. “I would’ve done anything else if I could.” He said. Then he smiled, “I don’t think you’d ever have found out.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia set her hand in his. His words were crushing. If he died she wasn’t sure she’d survive it, but not knowing? To be unable to mourn him, was a torturous thought. She was glad they were still here. That they hadn’t left, and she was able to reach him. He was so close to getting home, what were the chances that would happen? She knew, very very low.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil wrapped his fingers carefully around hers. “I keep wondering if I shouldn’t have asked. Not because I wanted to die, but to spare you the pain of knowing me. You’d assume I made it when you didn’t hear from me. It would have been.... Easier for you.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia wasn’t sure that was true. His letter said he’d find a way to contact her, and when he didn’t… “I already know you, not knowing what happened to you wouldn’t change that or how I feel.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil knew her well enough to feel confident she’d either assume he couldn’t find a safe way to contact her, or worse, he didn’t want to. But there was no reason to argue about that so he shrugged. “It’s probably stupid,” he said.

~ Zoi

Her brows drew together, “what’s stupid?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer