Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time
Posted by… suppressed (67) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Sisnil grimaced. “You were pretty, young, and impressionable. Not to mention Risan.” He shook his head. “Anyway. I want to talk about something..... Better.”

~ Zoi

“Of course. I’m sorry.” It didn’t bother her that he didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t either, but she was a depressing person. She was stuck and couldn’t seem to stop herself from infinitely circling around it over and over. She felt bad for upsetting him though. “What do you want to talk about?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “Don’t be sorry.” He hugged her. “I just.... Don’t want to think about you… And you know who.” He sighed against her. “I love you too much for that.”

~ Zoi

Sisnil didn’t say the name. She hadn’t until recently. Afraid that if she said it, it would bring him back to life. Sisnil avoiding saying it made her uneasy and afraid. He wasn’t afraid of anything. She curled into him. “I love you too.” She didn’t know how to word it, but if her past was ever too much, she wouldn’t hate him for walking away.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“It’ll never be too much for me, Dee. Never.” Sisnil said in response to her thoughts. “You remember that.”

~ Zoi

She nodded, “Okay.” She picked at her fingers. “It’s just… most days it’s too much for me, so… I mean, why would you want to deal with it?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I deal with a crew of five to seven all with bad pasts, Dee. I’m used to it,” Sisnil told her gently. “And I love you.”

~ Zoi

“Not the same thing,” dealing with people that dealt with things wasn’t the same as dealing with their past. “I love you too.” She bit back a yawn, clenching her teeth to keep it in. “

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil took her hand gently. “You’re tired, Dee. Get some sleep.”

~ Zoi

His hand was warm and Dradvia’s fingers curled around his. “I’m okay.” She didn’t want to leave.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I don’t want you to leave either,” he ran his other hand gently around her face. “But Dee, I need you to get some sleep.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia swallowed, her cheek turned into his touch, following the movement of his hand. It made her chest ache, it was so gentle and … and made her feel cherished. It pulled tears to her eyes. Her eyes closed, ever sense focused on where his hand touched her cheek. “You can’t sleep alone when you’re sick.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You can’t stay awake forever.” Sisnil replied gently. “I’m okay, Dee. Let me watch out for you, now.”

~ Zoi

Her brows drew together in confusion. He already did. He kept Stevens away from her, blocked the crowds, kept the memories from overwhelming her. “What do you mean?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Go to sleep. Here, your room, wherever you want. I’ll be awake for you. I promise.” Sisnil said.

~ Zoi

She wanted to stay, but she would never be able to sleep with someone else in the room. She never slept great alone either. She didn’t want to leave. She needed every moment she could get before he left her. Lack of sleep wasn’t a big enough price for even one second more with him. “I Know. I just…”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and hugged her. “Tell me what I can do to help. But you need to sleep.”

~ Zoi

She had that device in her room that Tessan had her wearing. She didn’t really like it. It did what it was supposed to do, and so far there were no side effects, but she just didn’t like it. She wasn’t sure why.

“I don’t know.” She wanted him to hold her, to keep the insistent nightmares away. Dradvia wasn’t so scared when he was around. She suddenly felt very unsure and uncomfortable. Maybe she wasn’t being normal; was she? He kept telling her to go sleep. Maybe he didn’t want her around anymore. He’d been stuck with her for over a day. Or maybe he thought she was wanting something she didn’t? “I’ll…” she stood up, wiping her hands nervously on her thighs. She glanced around for her medical kit and grabbed it. “I’ll go. I’m glad you feel better.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dee. I want you here, I’m just worried for you.” Sisnil said in response to her thoughts. “Please. Don’t think I don’t want you around.”

~ Zoi

Why? Why was he worried about her? He didn’t want her to think he didn’t want her around. Did that mean he wanted her around or that he just didn’t want her to feel bad that he did want her gone? She couldn’t make sense of it. She shifted her weight, her eyes blankly scanning the room, turning listlessly. She looked agitated, uneasy, over stimulated. On a good day Dradvia was an emotional, scared mess with no sense of self worth, very little sleep, and unable to have normal interactions with people. Today she wasn’t just tired, she was exhausted. Worry over him being sick, the effect on his telepathy (which seemed to be fine now), the emotional roller coaster of the last two days, absolutely no sleep for at least that long she was in an emotional spiral.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It was recovering. He was having an easier time hearing her thoughts, but it was as if his head were underwater sometimes. He stood and hugged her. “Okay, you’re going to sleep. Are you doing it here or in your room?”

~ Zoi

She wanted to cry. That wasn’t an easy answer. She couldn’t sleep with anyone in the room, it was too frightening, but she never slept alone either because it was equally frightening. “My room.” There was no other choice for so many reasons. Mostly because she knew she’d have nightmares, and maybe with some space they wouldn’t bother Sisnil. He said he didn’t want to think about her and Lokhar, so he certainly didn’t want to hear her dreams.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay.” He said, smiling. He gave her a look, “I would hear your dreams if you were sleeping in Sickbay. Heck, if you were sleeping on a planet below I might still hear them.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia knew that. She did, but just then it was devastating to be reminded. How could she allow herself to sleep knowing that her memories would torment him? She took one and then a second step back. As if distance would make it better for him although the loss of his arms killed her. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Sisnil.”

She almost ran from the room lost in an abyss of despair. Except she remembered that because of her Stevens had made complaints to Cmdr Morris. Causing Morris to come and question her about it. So she walked straight across the hall to her quarters. The doors slid closed behind her and she locked, and checked the lock, three times before moving further into the room.

She curled up in her bed, but didn’t bother with the device Tessan gave her. She turned the radio off. She didn’t want Sisnil to hear her cry or scream if she fell asleep. Instead she picked up a book. One she’d read many times, so it was familiar, and she read. Letting her whole mind focus on the story and nothing else.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The radio was off? Sisnil didn’t like it, but he wouldn’t make her keep it on. He went to bed himself, listening for her as he went to sleep.

~ Zoi

After awhile, when Dradvia had hit a second or third wave of energy. She felt it was safe to turn the radio back on because she’d be able to stay awake for a bit longer. She just had to focus on her book and nothing else. That way she stayed calm and had no wandering thoughts. After a couple of more hours though, exhaustion forced its way up and wrapped her in a dark blanket of unconsciousness.

Then the nightmares started.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil felt them start and it woke him. Reaching for her mind empathically, he tried to help. He had to listen though, sense her reaction to adjust his.

~ Zoi

The dreams were not pleasant. They were mostly memory along with a scattering of fears.

Dradvia was huddled in a corner, one of the guards had a pain stick and was tormenting them like a bully torments a dog. He had taken a special like to Dradvia and now that he had her in a corner, separated from the other slaves, he had ideas. He reached for her and she whimpered pitifully. When she fought back, he slammed the pain stick into her stomach. She went limp from the shock and woke in a locked room, alone with him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil hadn’t done this frequently, but he knew he could… He took a deep breath and....

Suddenly Sisnil was inside Dradvia’s dream, kicking the door to the locked room in.

~ Zoi

Dradvia screamed and the man backhanded her, “Be quiet!” Then tossing over his shoulder, “What do you want? I told you not to disturb me. I’ll be done with her soon.” She tried to look past the massive man, even as she shrank smaller and smaller into a ball, trying to get away.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice was tense and dark. “Do you think you can do whatever you want, free of consequences?”

~ Zoi

The guard whirled, his eyes wide, “Lokhar!” He saluted but kept his chin high, respect but not cowering. “We’re having trouble breaking her. Extreme measures seemed to be in order.” Lokhar had never minded them using the slaves. He didn’t see what the problem was.

A soft whimper dragged their attention to the small beautiful girl in the corner.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He landed a solid kick to the man’s head. “Get. Get gone. Now.” Then he crouched down in front of Dradvia, a safe distance away. “Hey, you okay?”

~ Zoi

The man landed heavily against her as he lost his balance. He groanded and she cried out loudly. He sneered at her, grabbing her roughly as he stood and then shoving her back. Dradvia stared at the feet of the man crowching before her. She’d at least learned not to look people in the eye. She didn’t recognize the voice though. She shook her head. She didn’t know if it was better to lie and say yes or tell the truth and say no. “Thank you. I… I don’t … know what he wanted.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Hmm. Not good things, I expect.” Sisnil reached out a hand to her, slowly and steadily, giving her space. “It’s okay. Look at me, Dee.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia wasn’t uneducated but very inexperienced. So she knew enough to be frightened of the guard. Her brows drew together at the name. She slowly glanced up, staying huddled against the wall. The man seemed to have an understanding face, patient. He was clean, better dressed than everyone else. His weapons were studded with jewels. He was Orion, but much bigger than the guard had been. He knew her? But she didn’t ask because she didn’t want to be hit again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Come on,” he said gently. “Let’s go.” Then he waited. He knew Dradvia wasn’t seeing him. She would. He didn’t need to force it.

~ Zoi

He’d saved her. Kept that guard from hurting her more. She stood with a wince innocently taking his outstretched hand as she did. The pain stick had left burns and torn muscles in her stomach. She couldn’t stand up quite straight, but she knew better than to complain. “Thank you,” she said again softly.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil helped her stand. “It’s okay. I know it hurts,” he said softly. Walking in her dream like this, he felt connected enough to feel the pain empathically. “Come on.”

~ Zoi

The soft tone gave her hope. He was going to protect her. The scene followed her memory through the ship. They stopped in front of an ornate door she had never seen before. It slid open to the richest most luxurious room she had ever seen. “Where are we? Will we get in trouble for being here?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. “I can’t imagine anyone stopping me from being somewhere.”

~ Zoi

Her eyes looked curious. “Not even the captain?” They were moved forward like puppets. She was sitting on a plush divan, he was kneeling next to her and still a head taller. She was uncomfortable as he pushed her shirt up to show the burns and bruises. But he was so kind how could she complain? He had a med kit beside him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil treated the burns with the minimal touch needed. Then let her go. He grinned, “Let him try.”

~ Zoi

What Dradvia heard next was a deep chuckle as she was told he was the captain. “That’s why he left. He never listens to the other guards.” She swallowed, covering her mouth quickly and curling back. Any comment that could be seen as negative would be punished. She already hurt so bad.

“Why did you stop him?” The words blurted out. The guard always bragged about how he was allowed to do whatever he wanted.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Because what he was doing isn’t right.” Sisnil said stubbornly, stepping away from her.

~ Zoi

Relief, safety, reassurance filled her. He was in charge, he was going to stop everything that was going on. Sisnil was repeating exactly what she had been told. Except he meant it in a pure way. Lokhar had meant that she belonged to him and it was wrong for anyone to touch his property.

Dradvia hadn’t understood that though. Lokhar had fed her, healed her injuries, reassured her. He had also been tactile. Dradvia had been uncomfortable, but it had never been inappropriate. She thought he was trying to be sweet.

She wanted to get back to Kryssa. Tell her it was going to be alright. The captain was going to fix everything. “I’m afraid.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know.” Sisnil said softly. “It’ll be okay.”

~ Zoi

She smiled up at him. Completely trusting and nieve. “He won’t hurt me again?”

Lokhar chuckled and sat down beside her. One arm wrapped across the back of the divan. “No. He would never cross me. You will stay here tonight. It is safe.”

“Thank you!” She squeezed his hand in her enthusiasm. It was huge compared to hers. Strong and sure, but had been precise as he took care of her. Perhaps he would let Kryssa come stay too. She couldn’t leave her alone while she was safe. For Kryssa she would dare to ask, but before she could…

His eyes glanced behind her and she heard an electronic beep and the door sealing. She turned swiftly, unease dancing across her. Lokhar firmly, without hurting her, turned her to look at him. “Safe now with me. No one will enter here.” His hands spanned her waist and lifted her onto his lap. “Now we have all the time necessary for you to thank me properly.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Ugh, he was despicable. Sisnil sat next to her and shook his head. “You don’t have to do anything.” He said gently.

~ Zoi

She didn’t understand. That wasn’t what happened. Lokhar hadn’t said that. She had stumbled through a profuse and sincere thank you. He had laughed at her. Told her he liked she was nervous. He had become too familiar, too close, too demanding. She had tried to get away. Crying, begging him to let her go. He had laughed and his eyes held a look that made her sick.

She tried to get away, to get off his lap, across the room, but he was so much stronger than her.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

But Sisnil didn’t do anything like that. He didn’t touch her at all. Didn’t do anything. “Dee, it’s okay. I’m here now.”

~ Zoi

She was crying in her sleep. He could hear it over the radio she had turned back on for him. It quieted to a whimper. “No one calls me that.” Confussion filled her. The present waring with the past she was reliving. “Do they?” Lokhar never did. His image flickered to someone else for a moment.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I do,” Sisnil said, looking at her. “It’s Sisnil, Dee. It’s me. I’m going to keep you safe. No matter what happens.”

~ Zoi

Confusion. “Sisnil?” There was no Sisnil on Lokhar’s ship. The images around them flickered. The corridor outside sickbay. Dradvia was cowered in a corner. Sisnil would remember. The day he found her there after her shift, trapped by Stevens who was being pushy and creepy and possessive. He had turned cruel when she refused. Sisnil had told her he would keep her safe, he wouldn’t let Stevens or anyone else hurt her.

Except the memory was melded. It wasn’t Stevens who had her but Lokhar. Sisnil could feel the shear terror that exploded through her. The radio picked up her sharp cries, and his empathy her desperation for help.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil took the opportunity to punch Lokhar right in the face then Sparta kick him in the chest. He may not be real but gods did that feel good. Then he looked at Dee. “See? I got you, Dee. Always.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia was wrenched sideways jerked to the floor as Lokhar fell. As dreams do, Lokhar disappeared through the floor, and Dradvia was no longer on the floor but still standing. Her arm hurt where he had grabbed her, her stomach burned and spammed from the pain stick. She hugged her stomach. “Sisnil,” her hand reached for him bur he seemed to move away. She walked forward, but she couldn’t reach him. “Sisnil!?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil reached for her. “Dee, it’s me. I’m here for you, like always.”

~ Zoi

She couldn’t reach him, but he could reach her. His hand wrapped around hers pulling her toward him. Her stomach hurt and she was jerked backwards. A chain was attached to her, pulling her away from him. Someone stronger than her was on the other end, but she couldn’t see who.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil stepped towards her instead, bringing her against him, standing protectively. Wherever her dream led, he’d be there.

~ Zoi

She burried her face in his chest. Her hand squeezed his like a vice, the other fisted in his shirt. It seemed like forever that they stood, before she relaxed, her mind began to ease. She looked up at him. “I love you, Sisnil.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I love you too, Dee. I’m here for you. Remember that, okay?” Sisnil said gently, looking down at her.

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded looking up at him. “Okay.” And in her dream she did something she could never do when she was awake. She stretched toward him just a little and she kissed him.

Then suddenly she was yanked away from him. A sound of rage echoing behind her. She was dragged painfully by the chain even as she struggled and fought. “NO!” Echoed from the radio.

Cruel hands grabbed her and threw her. She landed painfully against a bulkhead. Pain exploded as a hand slammed into her jaw and face. “YOU ARE MINE! NO ONE TOUCHES YOU!” She was in Lokhar’s rooms again, he was angry, and half decomposed. A rotting corpse with lust filled eyes and rage fueled hands.

She screamed.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnsil lost the connection and wasn’t able to maintain his presence in the dream. Instead, he rushed across the hall in nothing but boxer underwear and overrode her door. Kneeling by her bed, he shook her shoulder. “Dee. Dee!”

~ Zoi

She screamed, thrashing against nonexistent restraints. She was screaming his name in her dream, but only desperate cries issued from her throat. The touch, the sound of his voice, her name startled her awake. She gasped, crying out, she moved across the bed, backing into a corner. She couldn’t breathe, and the sobs made it worse.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dee, look at me.” At least she was awake now. She just needed to try to calm down. He waited patiently. “Dee, it’s okay.”

~ Zoi

Wild, unfocused eyes lifted to his and then darted around the room. Stuck in the mix of memory and horror, she didn’t recognize where she was right away. The wheezing of her breath was harshly loud in the quiet room. Dradvia’s eyes landed back on him. A thread of fear pulsated through her; fear that he would disappear again like in her nightmare.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sisnil said gently. “Come on, Dee. It’s okay.”

~ Zoi

Her fingers twitched like she was going to reach for him, but her dream played so vividly in her mind. The more she reached for him the further away he got. Maybe, if she stayed still he wouldn’t disappear again. His name came out a frightened whimper. The s just a breath of air caught on a sob, “Hish…nil.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil reached forward and took her hand. “It’s okay. I’m here, Dee. I promise.” He smiled. “Take your time.”

~ Zoi

Her hand latched on like a vice, her nails digging into the back of his hand. Dradvia tried to breathe slowly but it seemed impossible to make her lungs work. Then she was suddenly moving. She curled onto his lap, her face hidden against his chest, sobs shaking her body, but at least she was taking deeper breaths now. Don’t let go, don’t let him take me.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil hugged her tight. “It’s okay. I’m not letting go. I’m not going anywhere.” He said softly, rubbing her back gently with his free hand. Her nails dug in so hard they drew blood, but he didn’t react. He just let her hold on however she needed to.

~ Zoi

She curled tighter into him, like she could hide inside him. She tucked both arms between them, so his hand that was holding hers was tucked in between them as well. She couldn’t let go, afraid she would be taken away from him again.

It took awhile for the adrenaline to fade from her. She was exhausted after, but still she cried quietly, holding on desperately.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil just held her, breathing quietly with her. “I love you, Dee.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia burrowed closer to him. She couldn’t say it back. She felt it, he could tell, but she was afraid if she spoke it would shatter everything. If she said ‘I love you’ Lokhar would take her away again.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He’s not here. He’ll never be here.” Sisnil said gently. “And if, somehow he does, I’m gonna get you Dee. I always do. I always will.”

~ Zoi

Her whole body shuddered and fresh tears started. They made his skin damp. She knew Sisnil was right. Lokhar was dead. The officers who rescued her told her so. She saw him shot, and one of them said he was dead. Still she was afraid the Syndicate would find her, but paralyzing terror filled her that somehow, some way, Lokhar would find her again, even in death. “It felt so real.” Her voice was heavily muffled, but she couldn’t move her head, she couldn’t look up. She wanted to stay there and hide.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know,” he said gently. “But it wasn’t. And I’m here now.”

~ Zoi

She nodded, the movement making her nuzzle in closer. She was quiet, seemed to finally be calming when she realized her nightmares had woken him up. Her heart cracked. Sisnil could feel it like it was his own. She should tell him to leave, she could get away from him to stop him from hearing it. He didn’t like it and didn’t want to know. He said so. Dradvia was too weak and too selfish to give up the safety of his arms, and that shattered her a little more.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil hadn’t just felt it like it was his, he’d seen it. Walked it. He wasn’t sure he should tell her that. “It’s okay, Dee. I love you. I’d do this every single night for you.”

~ Zoi