Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time
Posted by… suppressed (15) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Sisnil grimaced. “You were pretty, young, and impressionable. Not to mention Risan.” He shook his head. “Anyway. I want to talk about something..... Better.”

~ Zoi

“Of course. I’m sorry.” It didn’t bother her that he didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t either, but she was a depressing person. She was stuck and couldn’t seem to stop herself from infinitely circling around it over and over. She felt bad for upsetting him though. “What do you want to talk about?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “Don’t be sorry.” He hugged her. “I just.... Don’t want to think about you… And you know who.” He sighed against her. “I love you too much for that.”

~ Zoi

Sisnil didn’t say the name. She hadn’t until recently. Afraid that if she said it, it would bring him back to life. Sisnil avoiding saying it made her uneasy and afraid. He wasn’t afraid of anything. She curled into him. “I love you too.” She didn’t know how to word it, but if her past was ever too much, she wouldn’t hate him for walking away.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“It’ll never be too much for me, Dee. Never.” Sisnil said in response to her thoughts. “You remember that.”

~ Zoi

She nodded, “Okay.” She picked at her fingers. “It’s just… most days it’s too much for me, so… I mean, why would you want to deal with it?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I deal with a crew of five to seven all with bad pasts, Dee. I’m used to it,” Sisnil told her gently. “And I love you.”

~ Zoi

“Not the same thing,” dealing with people that dealt with things wasn’t the same as dealing with their past. “I love you too.” She bit back a yawn, clenching her teeth to keep it in. “

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil took her hand gently. “You’re tired, Dee. Get some sleep.”

~ Zoi

His hand was warm and Dradvia’s fingers curled around his. “I’m okay.” She didn’t want to leave.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I don’t want you to leave either,” he ran his other hand gently around her face. “But Dee, I need you to get some sleep.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia swallowed, her cheek turned into his touch, following the movement of his hand. It made her chest ache, it was so gentle and … and made her feel cherished. It pulled tears to her eyes. Her eyes closed, ever sense focused on where his hand touched her cheek. “You can’t sleep alone when you’re sick.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“You can’t stay awake forever.” Sisnil replied gently. “I’m okay, Dee. Let me watch out for you, now.”

~ Zoi

Her brows drew together in confusion. He already did. He kept Stevens away from her, blocked the crowds, kept the memories from overwhelming her. “What do you mean?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Go to sleep. Here, your room, wherever you want. I’ll be awake for you. I promise.” Sisnil said.

~ Zoi

She wanted to stay, but she would never be able to sleep with someone else in the room. She never slept great alone either. She didn’t want to leave. She needed every moment she could get before he left her. Lack of sleep wasn’t a big enough price for even one second more with him. “I Know. I just…”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and hugged her. “Tell me what I can do to help. But you need to sleep.”

~ Zoi

She had that device in her room that Tessan had her wearing. She didn’t really like it. It did what it was supposed to do, and so far there were no side effects, but she just didn’t like it. She wasn’t sure why.

“I don’t know.” She wanted him to hold her, to keep the insistent nightmares away. Dradvia wasn’t so scared when he was around. She suddenly felt very unsure and uncomfortable. Maybe she wasn’t being normal; was she? He kept telling her to go sleep. Maybe he didn’t want her around anymore. He’d been stuck with her for over a day. Or maybe he thought she was wanting something she didn’t? “I’ll…” she stood up, wiping her hands nervously on her thighs. She glanced around for her medical kit and grabbed it. “I’ll go. I’m glad you feel better.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Dee. I want you here, I’m just worried for you.” Sisnil said in response to her thoughts. “Please. Don’t think I don’t want you around.”

~ Zoi

Why? Why was he worried about her? He didn’t want her to think he didn’t want her around. Did that mean he wanted her around or that he just didn’t want her to feel bad that he did want her gone? She couldn’t make sense of it. She shifted her weight, her eyes blankly scanning the room, turning listlessly. She looked agitated, uneasy, over stimulated. On a good day Dradvia was an emotional, scared mess with no sense of self worth, very little sleep, and unable to have normal interactions with people. Today she wasn’t just tired, she was exhausted. Worry over him being sick, the effect on his telepathy (which seemed to be fine now), the emotional roller coaster of the last two days, absolutely no sleep for at least that long she was in an emotional spiral.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It was recovering. He was having an easier time hearing her thoughts, but it was as if his head were underwater sometimes. He stood and hugged her. “Okay, you’re going to sleep. Are you doing it here or in your room?”

~ Zoi

She wanted to cry. That wasn’t an easy answer. She couldn’t sleep with anyone in the room, it was too frightening, but she never slept alone either because it was equally frightening. “My room.” There was no other choice for so many reasons. Mostly because she knew she’d have nightmares, and maybe with some space they wouldn’t bother Sisnil. He said he didn’t want to think about her and Lokhar, so he certainly didn’t want to hear her dreams.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Okay.” He said, smiling. He gave her a look, “I would hear your dreams if you were sleeping in Sickbay. Heck, if you were sleeping on a planet below I might still hear them.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia knew that. She did, but just then it was devastating to be reminded. How could she allow herself to sleep knowing that her memories would torment him? She took one and then a second step back. As if distance would make it better for him although the loss of his arms killed her. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Sisnil.”

She almost ran from the room lost in an abyss of despair. Except she remembered that because of her Stevens had made complaints to Cmdr Morris. Causing Morris to come and question her about it. So she walked straight across the hall to her quarters. The doors slid closed behind her and she locked, and checked the lock, three times before moving further into the room.

She curled up in her bed, but didn’t bother with the device Tessan gave her. She turned the radio off. She didn’t want Sisnil to hear her cry or scream if she fell asleep. Instead she picked up a book. One she’d read many times, so it was familiar, and she read. Letting her whole mind focus on the story and nothing else.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

The radio was off? Sisnil didn’t like it, but he wouldn’t make her keep it on. He went to bed himself, listening for her as he went to sleep.

~ Zoi

After awhile, when Dradvia had hit a second or third wave of energy. She felt it was safe to turn the radio back on because she’d be able to stay awake for a bit longer. She just had to focus on her book and nothing else. That way she stayed calm and had no wandering thoughts. After a couple of more hours though, exhaustion forced its way up and wrapped her in a dark blanket of unconsciousness.

Then the nightmares started.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil felt them start and it woke him. Reaching for her mind empathically, he tried to help. He had to listen though, sense her reaction to adjust his.

~ Zoi