Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Civilian Sisnil Zoi (Intelligence Consultant) in One Step at a Time

Posted by Ensign Dradvia (Medical Officer) in One Step at a Time
Posted by… suppressed (77) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Dradvia started to pet Simon, but stopped. “I can’t. You know why.” They had just talked about it. If she was ever caught, she could have no property. They would kill Simon to punish her. “It would be a good life for him with you. He won’t be taken from you just because. You’re allowed to own things. He loves you. He’s attached to you.” She shrugged. “I’ll have Umbra to keep me company. I mean if you leave the program.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“We don’t have a holodeck,” Sisnil replied simply. There was no reason not to leave the program. “Besides, I wouldn’t dream of taking Umbra away.” He looked at her, “Dee, I don’t know if I can do it, leave you.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia spent a lot of time with Umbra. Probably an unhealthy amount. She finally looked up at him. There was confusion and shock on her face. “What?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil gave her one of his looks. “I love you. It’s going to break my heart.”

~ Zoi

“I’m sorry.” It would be horrible for her, but he would be happier without her. He’d move on, and this would be a blink in his life. She wished she knew what she’d done to make him want to love her. She’d go back and fix it.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He furrowed his brow. “Why are you sorry?” He asked, looking at her.

~ Zoi

“That I’m hurting you. I… I think it would be better if… if you just forgot about me. Stop spending time around me.” He would be okay. Love wasn’t like in her books. Where love meant they couldn’t be separated. He wouldn’t leave if it was. Or she would be brave enough to go with him. “You’ll be with Noril and Vash soon. You won’t be missing them anymore.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I’ll be missing you.” Sisnil took her hand gently. “I will never forget you, Dee. I couldn’t.”

~ Zoi

“I won’t forget you either, Sisnil.” He’d find someone else. Someone more suited for him and his life. Smart, savvy, brave. Definitely brave, and free. “You’ll find someone who will have everything to offer you. And you’ll have your family too.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I don’t want someone else.” Sisnil replied stubbornly. “There is no one better than you.”

~ Zoi

She smiled sadly. Maybe on this ship it was true. He was lonely and isolated. They had similar pasts. They understood each other. Dradvia would never meet anyone else that really saw her. Sisnil would though. He would return to his life where there were lots of people who understood. It broke her heart to imagine it, but she wanted him to be happy. She loved him, but it would always be a stifled thing. She would give him everything she had, but it would never be enough. She couldn’t go with him.

Sisnil deserved someone that was capable of sharing everything with him. Not someone he had to protect from herself everytime the engines shifted. “I’ll always be your, Dee. That won’t change.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He smiled and hugged her gently. “If there were someone for me in my world Dee, I’d have found them.”

~ Zoi

“When do you have time? You’re too busy protecting everyone, and being the best pirate ever.” Her voice cracked on the words. “You need to stop and look at what’s around you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“What’s around me? Vash is interested in Noril.” Sisnil said. “Besides, I’m their captain. It’s my job to protect everyone.”

~ Zoi

She chuckled half-heartedly. “Oh and Vash is the only woman you have ever encountered?” She didn’t believe that. He had even admitted he would miss the other stuff if he was with her. So there were others. He just hadn’t found anyone long term yet. It shouldn’t hurt to think about, but it gutted her. She was so broken. What normal person would still live someone that was bringing the Syndicate?

She knew what he was going to do, and it wasn’t as bad as she had thought, but… She wished. Dradvia sighed. She wished she was enough that he would choose to stay with her. She wished she was brave enough to go with him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil chuckled, “Of course not. She’s the only trustworthy woman. Besides you. Everyone else was just.... You know, flings. Fun.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked at him, but not directly. Her head tipped to the side. “You have a type, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil looked at her with confusion. “What type is that?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia looked down at her hands, unease and nervousness filling her. She didn’t want to say, but she caught a glimpse of that look. It wasn’t meant as an insult, not him. “Slaves who need protecting.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil laughed. “Because of you and Vash?” He smiled, amused. “I don’t know, I guess. But that sounds terrible when you say it like that.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia only shook her head, “Only if you’re the slave.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil gave her another confused expression, not understanding why.

~ Zoi

“Because no one wants to be the slave, Sisnil. And most people who want to help, want payment.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I don’t want payment.” Sisnil said. “I don’t want anything.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia smiled, the look was adoring. “I know. That’s why you and Noril are Vash’s happy ending.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Noril, maybe. But Vash isn’t like you. She had an adoring father. She was safe. She wanted to come with us.” Sisnil said.

~ Zoi

Dradvia gave him her own look. It was piercing. “She’s half Orion. Higher than me, and protected by an adoring father while he lived. How safe was she really?” Safer than Dee would ever be. She envied the woman and Noril.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“She is an experienced courtesan and fighter. But her Deltan side hurts her status. She’s not allowed to buy freedom.” Sisnil looked at Dee, “There’s a reason we agreed to take her. Her odds are better than most, but some would want to beat her into ‘her place’.”

~ Zoi

“I’m guessing since she is with you, her father wasn’t willing to protect her from that.” She made a small rolling motion with her hand. “So, she needed a protector. She was in need of a protector. She got lucky. She got both of you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“He was, but he worried what would happen if he died.” Sisnil said. He shrugged, “I guess she did.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia wondered why Vash’s father didn’t buy her freedom. He could have, and that would have protected her. She’d learned that Sisnil didn’t like to talk about Vash’s situation, so she left it alone. “See, a type,” she smiled gently.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil seemed uncomfortable with that, so he just shrugged.

~ Zoi

She looked down at her clasped hands. He didn’t like it. “I’m sorry, I was teasing. I won’t do it again.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil took her hand and shook his head. “Please don’t apologize. It’s okay. I like your teasing. I just don’t.... I don’t want to.... I don’t know.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia didn’t know what he was trying to say. Her brows drew together as she stared at his hand wrapped around hers. “You don’t want me to see you as nice? I… I won’t tell anyone.” She was confused and lost. She was tired too. Sisnil was coming out the end of his flu. She had stayed up the whole time. She hadn’t wanted him to feel vulnerable.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“No, that’s not it.” He seemed to notice how tired she was. “Dee, have you slept?”

~ Zoi

If that wasn’t it, what was it? Was it so bad he was afraid to tell her? Or just that he didn’tfeel the need?

Sisnil could sense her ongoing uncertainty, even if his ability was still weakened. “It’s… The idea of going after vulnerable people or… Or fetishizing slaves or something. It left a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.”

Her eyes went wide as they snapped up to his, and her mouth dropped open in a shocked ‘O’. “No!” Her eyes dropped in embarrassment. “Oh gods. No, I didn’t mean it like that.” This was uncomfortably awkward. “I … meant that you like to have someone to take care of, to protect. I mean there are people that… ummm… are like that, but I didn’t mean you! That’s why Vash is lucky.”

”.....Oh.” Sisnil sighed in relief. “Good. Because I don’t want to be… Like that.” He smiled at her. “Don’t feel bad, everyone has misunderstandings.”

“I’ll remember to be more clear when you’re sick…” Dradvia’s voice trailed off on the last. There wouldn’t be a next time.

Sisnil smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’m fine.” How could she sleep? There was too much uncertainty, too much fear. “I can go get you food and something to drink.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Am I still contagious?” Sisnil asked, looking at her.

~ Zoi

She reached quietly for her tricorder and quickly scanned him. “No. It seems your fever broke. How do you feel?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Better.” He said with a shrug. In truth he was still really tired and didn’t feel 100% at all yet. “You stay. I’ll bring food.”

~ Zoi

“I…” she nodded and sank back to the floor. She’d stay. He was probably going stir crazy. He needed rest so he wouldn’t relapse. He was more likely to eat if he picked it. “Okay.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He was out and back very quickly with a tray for each of them. He set them down and sat by her. “I thought you liked these.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia glanced over the tray. It was all thungs she liked. He’d gone and gotten it for her. She felt a pressure building behind her eyes and a burning that made her eyes tear. “I do. Thank you.” She reached for the drink and wrapped her hands around it as she sipped.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and started eating from his own tray. He must have felt better because he was scarfing his food down like he hadn’t eaten in a week.

~ Zoi

Dradvia hid a smirk as he scarfed the food down. Her amusement bubbled like soda fizz. She was glad he was feeling better and he could feel her relief as she ate.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He finished his tray and grinned at her, feeling her relief. “Told you I’d be fine.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia nodded offering him a glimpse of a grin. She started to tell him it was only because she took care of him, but she didn’t trust herself to say anything. There was a wrenching anticipatory loneliness in her gut making her sick. It killed any teasing.

She gripped her glass, her knuckles white, as she drank. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. He pointed to her food, “You eat, too.”

~ Zoi

Sisnil could see her brows raise slightly as she set her glass down. “Bossy.” It was said with a lot of affection though. She picked up the fork and took a bite. “I’ve actually eaten in the last 29 hours though.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know.” He smiled. “I just wanna make sure you still do.”

~ Zoi

“No worries. I like food and have no intention of shunning it.” She ate much more slowly than Sisnil did, and Dradvia didn’t finish all of it. In this case Sisnil’s eyes had been bigger than her stomach. She was glad that he was hungry though and had eaten everything.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled again, “Sorry. I guess I should’ve brought less.” He said. “Maybe we can save it for later?”

~ Zoi

Dradvia shook her head, “It’s fine. I’ll still eat it. I’ll keep it for later. It was sweet that you made sure I had enough. Thank you.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled and reached over and hugged her. “Okay.”

~ Zoi

He could feel the surprise and the unease as he hugged her again, but it settled just a bit more quickly and she rested against him for a moment. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil nodded. “I’m definitely getting better.” He poked her gently in the side. “You better not get sick now.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia let out the cutest sound that was part giggle and part shriek. It tickled and she squirmed away. “I don’t think I will. I’ve had my vaccination and I gave myself a booster yesterday morning. I would be showing signs by now.” She used the excuse of getting her tricorder to escape getting tickled again.

She ran the scanner over herself and then showed him the readings. “See. Healthy.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled at the tricorder, plucked it from her hands and set it down, and tickled her side again gently.

~ Zoi

Dradvia jumped, squirmed, and squealed trying to get away. She wasn’t usually ticklish. Physical contact was frightening, it was associated with pain or the promise of it. So, her body never responded with such a light hearted reaction.

It did today. A combination of exhaustion and trust.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil kept doing it, laughing. “Dee, I didn’t know you were ticklish.”

~ Zoi

She squirmed, crawling backwards trying to get away from his fingers. Desperate giggles escaped. “I’m… Ah! Not!” Laughter erupted as she twisted and backed up against the side of the bed.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

He followed her and continued the barrage of tickling. “You’re not, huh? Then what’s this?” And he tickled her some more.

~ Zoi

She shrieked and banged against the footboard trying to get away. There was no where to go. She tried to bat Sisnil’s hands away while tucking her arms in and covering her sides feebily with her hands. “I don’t Ah! Ack! know. Ah!”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil was just too good at working through her defenses and tickling her anyway. He laughed and grinned. “No? Then I’ll keep doing it til you find out.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia squirmed sideways, helpless laughter escaping between trying to catch her breath. He had been sick and exhausted 20 minutes ago. “Not fair! Eek!” She dodged sideways into him trying to escape from his hand. “Sisnil!” Dradvia shrieked pitifully and laughed as his fingers danced lightly over her side making her nerves jumped and race and jump.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

It didn’t make him tired to chase her.... Or maybe her laughs gave him energy. He finally stopped, still grinning and looked at her. “I’ll be noting that for the future.”

~ Zoi

Sisnil stopped right before it became too much for her. Dradvia wasn’t aware she was even reaching that point, but after she felt slightly jittery and on edge as she tried to catch her breath. “Not fair!” she grinned at him.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Maybe not, but it’s fun.” He hugged her gently. “You’re so cute when you laugh.”

~ Zoi

The hug seemed to help the jitteriness and she sighed, as if she’d just but down a very heavy pack. Dradvia let her head drop to his shoulder and rest there. Her cheeks were rosy mostly from the laughter, but partially from the compliment. It made her reflect though. “I haven’t laughed in a long time.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I know.” Sisnil smiled, “I want to hear you do it more.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia didn’t understand how she could feel so conflicted, so afraid, over his plan one moment and the next be laughing with him and resting next to him. His words made her feel warm and fuzzy, content. “It feels strange to laugh like that. It feels good, and that makes me feel guilty.” The confession whispered out easily, as if she had shared secrets with Sisnil her whole life.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“I wish it didn’t make you guilty. If anyone deserves to feel good and be happy, it’s you.” Sisnil said softly, looking at her.

~ Zoi

“Everyone deserves it.” She moved slightly allowing her to be closer. She wasn’t aware of it though. She just wanted his comfort. She was quiet, just exsisting in her emotions for a moment. “Thank you for not saying Kryssa would want me to be happy. I know she would, but I just miss her so much.” Her voice broke at the end.

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled a sad smile. “It doesn’t matter what Kryssa would want. It matters what you want.” He sighed softly and leaned against Dradvia. “If there were a way to bring her back, I’d do anything to do it.”

~ Zoi

Dradvia sighed, it was partially frustration and partially a reflection of being lost. She didn’t know what she wanted. Her only focus had been staying away from the Syndicate. Be invisible and safe. Don’t get caught. She hadn’t thought past that. She never thought about the future except what she had lost. The dreams that she and Kryssa had had and were no less than dust. Kryssa was all she had, there was no one else, so she found herself talking to a ghost and then grieving Kryssa all over again. Dradvia knew a lot of it was because she was so desperately lonely.

“I don’t know what I want. I haven’t really thought about it. There isn’t much point in it.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“Why not?” Sisnil asked. “You’re free, Dee. You’re allowed to want things.”

~ Zoi

“I…” she sighed, her weight becoming more heavy on him. “Because Sisnil, I might be free, but they are looking for me. Wanting things means making it easier for them to find me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

“One slave that’s been gone, how many years? Dee, they’re not looking for you.” Sisnil said. “Would they nab you if they knew about you, sure, but actively searching? They’ve got better things to do.”

~ Zoi

Just over four years. It didn’t seem that long. Maybe he was right. If Lokhar were alive he would be looking for her, but… she saw him shot. The officers that rescued her said he died. “I… I guess, but I don’t want to do anything that will make them notice me.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil shrugged. “You planning on getting famous? Becoming Captain? Turning criminal?”

~ Zoi

“No. But I wasn’t any of those things when they noticed me before. I was just me.” She grinned softly, “But no, I’m not planning on any of those.”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil grimaced. “You were pretty, young, and impressionable. Not to mention Risan.” He shook his head. “Anyway. I want to talk about something..... Better.”

~ Zoi

“Of course. I’m sorry.” It didn’t bother her that he didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t either, but she was a depressing person. She was stuck and couldn’t seem to stop herself from infinitely circling around it over and over. She felt bad for upsetting him though. “What do you want to talk about?”

Ens. Dradvia, Medical Officer

Sisnil smiled. “Don’t be sorry.” He hugged her. “I just.... Don’t want to think about you… And you know who.” He sighed against her. “I love you too much for that.”

~ Zoi